


Broken as Shell

by Saiya_hime



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Blood, Death, Domestic Violence, Love Triangle, M/M, Mental Illness, Molestation, Mpreg, Multi, Rape, Self Harm, Substance Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Teenage Hormones, Violence, dark themes, dub-con, non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:49:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 37
Words: 180,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25882372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saiya_hime/pseuds/Saiya_hime
Summary: Donnie was the best at fixing what was broken, it was what he was best at. Things start to take a tragic turn when he is faced with the choice of which brother to be with when all ask him to be their mate for the upcoming mating season. When he struggles to make a choice because he doesn’t wish to choose one over the others, it leads to serious tension in the family. Though mating season was the least of his worries.The Kraang desire his know how because they believe he stabilized the mutagen to create Slash.Shredder wants to capture him to unmutate Karai.Yet, his world is turned upside down when he learns a horrifying fact about himself that he never considered before.(Dark themes, tcest, dub-con, non-con, PTSD and depression.)
Relationships: Leonardo/Donatello, OT4 - Relationship, Raphael/Donatello, Slash/Donatello, michelangelo/Donnatello
Comments: 16
Kudos: 62





	1. Trap

He watched carefully the flex of the other's muscles and calculated each and every move he could possibly make and how to counter it. He heard the hand tighten on the handle of the Sais knowing that it was then the attack was decided by his opponent and he had a one in ten thousand shot to counter. The odds were not in his favor but were they truly ever? He took his Bo and pushed the offensive hand to the side barely missing his face in the process. The other let out a grunt and he didn't have to look down to see the leg coming up. He turned his body slightly allowing the appendage to make contact with his back. The other let out a hiss before drawing back. He stood there waiting for the other to make his move. His wait wasn't long as he charged forward. It was easy enough to deflect his attacks using his Bo to push the hands off to the side.

He could tell the other was frustrated at the fact that he wasn't fighting back. He was simply dodging and diverting. His Bo once nearly made contact with the other's head but he shown his mastery of his weapon and stopped it merely a centimeter or two from the other's face. It took only a split second as he was lost in calculating to not notice the leg sweep at his own, knocking him to the ground where his neck quickly became acquainted with the Twin Sais. His chocolate brown pools looked up into emerald orbs who seemed pleased with themselves. "Ya dead." Was all he had to say about it as the echo of the cane hit the tatami mat two times signaling the end of the spar.

"Very good Raphael, usingthe distraction of one's opponent to your advantage is tactful." The fatherly tone said as the rat mutant stepped forward. He placed his hand on the red clad turtle's shoulder. A silent sign of praise and approval. He then turned his keen eyes to the other. "Donatello, while it is admiral not to wish harm to your opponents bear in mind that they will not hesitate to end your life if given the chance that you have given to your brother." He picked up his son's Bo staff and handed it to him. "You had the advantage at one point, you could have won had you not hesitated and withdrew your attack."

The young terrapin bowed his head respectfully. "I did not was to hurt him Master." It was the simple truth. He never wished harm upon any but being a ninja, such was hard not to know the cries of pain you have caused another. Yet, he would suffer an eternity of screams caused by his own hands before he was willing to allow the death of one of his brothers.

The elder sighed softly. "Donatello, you are ninja. It is this skill of Ninjutsu that I teach you so you can defeat your opponents such as the Shredder. Do you think he will hesitate to kill you or your brothers?" He received a soft no in response. "No he will not. He will kill you if given the chance, he will kill your brothers if given the chance." His eyes narrowed slightly. "Will you give him that chance?" once more a quiet no. "You, Donatello, of all my sons have a gentle heart. Such is rare in ninja. It is admirable as I have said but it has also lead to the down fall of each." He could see that his son understood his words, that all four of them had. "Training is over for today."

"Awww yeah! Pizza time!" the youngest of them shouted as he ran from the Dojo and to the kitchen.

Raphael looked over to his brother who remained in his place on the floor before sighing and shaking his head. He walked over and held out his hand. "Ya did good Donnie." He said. "If ya sitck woulda hit me I'd look worse than Mikey!" he joked causing his younger brother to laugh slightly.

"Hey! I heard that!" the angered shout of the youngest was heard from the kitchen.

The eldest walked over and placed his hand on the Purple clad turtle's shoulder. "Not bad. You could improve on your stance a bit but other than that it was nearly flawless." He took the Bo Staff from his brother's hands and set it near the other weapons.

"Thanks guys. I thought Sensei was going to ream me big time for that." He smiled and took the hand of his strongest brother who helped to pull him up. "Besides, I don't want to be the reason Raph has to go get a new mirror." He was then pulled into a nuggie from said turtle.

"Oh yeah brainiac?! Think ya better look'en then me?!" he joke as he knocked him to the tatami mats below.

"Of course he is Raph. Donnie is our little princess after all!" Leo said as he headed for the door. "Come on sweetheart sing us a song!"

The purple turtle sighed contently. His brothers never treated him any differently. They didn't see him as weak like his Master had implied, they saw him as strong and worthwhile. He stood up quickly and ran to the kitchen where his brother argued about the pizza left overs.

"I was here first!" Mikey cried out as he reached for the piece Raph currently had. "Come on get your own!" he said as he began to pout. He knew none of them could resist it long, it wqas the perk of being the baby brother.

The larger turtle smiled. "I just did." He punched him on the arm. "What are you gonna do about it?!" he wasn't going to fall for it. The eyes were hard to resist but he had to ignore him.

"This!" His eyes grew to nearly three times their size and tears pricked at his baby blues. He made a pathetic whimpering sound like that of a kicked puppy.

"Aww Damn it!" he cried. "I hate when ya get like that!" he moaned and slowly moved to give him the pizza. Just as he was about to take it... "Got ya!" he shouted as he downed it in front of his baby brother.

"DUDE! THAT WAS SO NOT COOL!" he growled out as he weakly hit his brother's arm. "That was the best piece!"

The elder chuckled. "An' it went to da best!" he cracked.

Donatello shook his head and smiled at the scene. Leave it to Raph to rile up Mikey. "Here." He said softly as he took out his own pizza. "You can have mine." He pushed the pizza to his younger brother who happily hugged him.

"Donnie did I ever tell you you are like...The best big brother ever?" he cried out. "Cuz you are dude! The best!" he devoured the slice before patting his belly. "That hit the spot big time!"

Leo finished chewing his piece. "I thought I was the best big brother yesterday when I helped you clean your room?" he asked narrowing his eyes at the light skinned turtle.

"Dude don't you know, the fastest way to a turtle's heart is through his tummy?" he said pointing an accusing finger at his brother as if it was he who had ventured upon offense.

Leo looked at the pizza box that was now empty. "Donnie, did you get anything to eat?" he asked noticing the other tinkering with one of the gadgets he was currently working on. Leo had been noticing the other's clever way of getting out of eating meals at times and it was worrying him. Not wanting to worry the others, he kept it to himself.

"No, but I'll be fine. I just phoned April a while ago to bring some food down." He moved over to the cat cookie jar on the fridge, the one with the chipped ear that Mikey had found one day in the trash and had begged his genius brother to fix for him. Lifting the lid, the cat made a quick "MEOW!" sound before he shut it. He quickly counted the cash and frowned when he turned to his brothers. "Who took from our food jar?!" his eyes moved to each brother who held guilty looks on their faces.

"Dude! New Issue!" he said waving the comic around. "I just had to know what happens to Captain Badazz!" he dove into the comic again ignoring his brother's look of disapproval.

He then turned to Raphael. "Don't give me that look! I was practically begg'en for the damn thing!" he said as he pulled out his new pair of Sais he would use on the special occasion of whipping Shredder's ass. "Ya said I could get 'em anyway..."

"That was before I knew I needed the replacement cylinder for Metalhead! Raph if he goes down so do all of our security for the lair!" he sighed heavily but blamed himself for forgetting to tell him.

Lastly he looked to his eldest brother and frowned. "I needed oils and a new sharpening stone for my Katanas." He said, believing he was in the right because he needed them to be in top shape for battle.

Donnie didn't say anything else. He shook his head and reviewed the list he was going to give to April. The money he had would barely cover half of what they needed. It was him after all who earned it. On his down days he worked as an IT consultant over the phone and had the money wired straight into April's Father's bank account where she then was able to use if for her needs as well as theirs. If he were to forgo the cylinder in place of allowing for all of the food to be bought, he may be able to scavenge for one. He decided to try that before telling Mikey that he couldn't have his favorite cereal, or that there was going to be no stake for Raph and no green tea for Leo. No, instead he would go Topside and try to find the item he needed in the local scrapyard and maybe even salvage some other treasures.

He made his way to the lab where he found Metalhead just as he had left him. His head was open and wires were sticking out in all directions. He smiled and placed his hand on the cool metal surface. "Don't worry buddy, I'll fix you." He said softly. Moving over to the part of the Lab that made up his room he grabbed his Bo Staff and slung the satchel over his shoulder.

"Look the little princess has gotten her purse!" Raph teased as he walked into the lab. He looked down at Metalhead and smiled. "Looks like ya seen better days." He remarked knowing there would be no response.

Donnie ignored him and continued to look for things he would need. A small flash light he had made just for the purpose of inspecting the treasures for flaws. His Shell Phone, in case of attack and a baggie full of quarters in case he got thirsty he could use the vending machines. He turned to his hot headed brother who was messing with the robot turtle. "Raph please don't touch him yet. Do you remember what happened last time?"

The other rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Yeah the pin popped out 'n it took ya weeks ta find a new one." God he wished his brother would get over it already. He didn't know the pin was gone until Donnie mumbled and grumbled about it.

"Months, Raph, it took me Months to find a new one." He sighed and walked toward the door of the lab with his Bo staff secured on the back of his shell for safe keeping.

"We're worried 'bout ya." The elder said suddenly and off topic. Donnie froze and looked toward his brother. "Ya barely eat, ya shut ya self in da lab staying up all hours of the damn night doing god knows what." He sighed and looked up at his younger brother. "Take it easy Donnie boy." He said softly.

Donatello nodded. "I'm fine. Like I said I'm working on Metalhead. If his systems go down..." he didn't want to think of the possibility that Shredder or the Kraang found their Lair. Although it was a one in a million chance he wasn't about to gamble their lives, he didn't want to risk the loss of one of his family members.

"Then da whole security system goes with 'em. I know Donnie, just be careful alright?" he asked. He trusted Donnie the most out of all of them. Donnie never let him down, ever. If he hadn't promised Casey an ass whipping he most likely would have gone along with him just to be sure. "Ya got your Shell Phone?"

The other pulled it out and waved it in the air. "I'll be fine, never been caught yet." He said proudly. He knew the other was worried due to the increase of Kraang sightings and Foot activity. Not to mention the recent attack by Slash that nearly took them out. They were all on edge. "I'm going to grab the cylinder Raph and be back in time for dinner." He promised.

Raphael was not totally convinced but he said nothing about it. Donnie was always the sensible one, the silent one, the one all others turned to, and he was the glue that held the family together. After all, it was Donnie that convinced Raphael to stay at home when he and Leo had that big fight. Donnie knew just what to say and how to say it. "Just be careful."

With a nod he slipped out of the door and through the lair before disappearing down the sewer. The eldest brother moved to him and sighed. "He's going to be late." He said softly. "He'll sneak in and skip dinner like last time."

"Then we'll stay up and make 'em eat." He said cracking his knuckles. He was worried, Donnie has gotten thinner and it can clearly be seen. Hell, his shell seemed almost too big on him. Donnie was going to eat something, even if he had to hold him down and shove it down his throat.

~LRDM~

It had been three hours since Donnie left that April came running into the lair with Casey hot on her tail. They were panting from their run causing the other's alarm to rise. Their first thoughts were that something happened to Donnie, that he was discover and is severely hurt. "April, Casey what's wrong?!" Leo ran to them hoping for a quick answer.

"It's...Kraang...Warehouse...Mutagen...Lots of it!" She said between panted breaths. They had run all the way from the warehouse to the lair.

Leo turned to his team of brothers, noting quickly the lack of their genius they severely needed when facing the technologically advanced aliens. They were at a huge disadvantage.  
"Mikey..." he turned to his orange clad brother who had the shell phone to his ear.

"No Donnie, dude it's the Kraang...Like Shell! We don't know dottily squat when it comes to octobrains." He said and noted Leo's look of disapproval. "Dude I so beat you to the punch." He boasted able to think of a solution to their missing techy turtle before the others had. "He says he's in route and heading there now."

"Good, tell him to wait for us and not to engage unless necessary." He patted April's back. "Think you can take us there?" he asked her now that her breathing was normal.

She nodded. "I saw a few people there. I'm sure they are conducting experiments! I just hope they're not too late..." she said softly recalling what happened to her father. The last thing she wanted was for anyone else to become mutated.

"Listen Red, that place is stocked full of that stuff. All we gotta do is swipe it and Gaptooth can have a field day." Casey said, hopping to cheer her up even slightly. Donnie was having trouble creating a cure because he never had much to work with. "If we get that warehouse maybe he can find a cure."

Hope flared in her eyes. "Yeah, come one let's go!" A cure meant so much, not just to her but to everyone. A cure meant that Splinter could finally be with Karai and live as a family. That hope fueled them all. Perhaps, she wondered. Perhaps the cure could turn the Turtles human, could give them a life that the sewers never could.

~LRDM~

Donnie was forced to abandon his search in favor of helping the others. It didn't bother him any, his brothers over a cylinder. Across the rooftops, he ignored the streets below in favor of focusing and calculating his best route, their best chance for survival, the chance of securing the mutagen and curing April's father. It was his fault after all. If he had been more precise and not have rounded the chance up...It was his fault. He kicked up off the cold rooftop and silently slid to a halt.

A woman was hanging her laundry out to dry. He sighed as she moved to grab the last garment only for it to be grabbed by a small child who happily gave it to her. She pet his head and took the skirt. His eyes looking on in wonder that the light in the child's eyes, eyes so innocent that he had no idea of the cruelty in the world.

Sighing, he waited for them to leave before he continued on his way to the warehouse. It didn't take him long to find the palace crawling with the cliché look of the disguised Kraang Droids. He took one glance, counting seven in total, two to the left, three in front and two to the right. He crouched silently, waiting, watching. From his place he could see a through a few of the windows. There were six people inside, all caged, one being a child clutched tightly in her mother's arms.

He watched as the Kraang as they moved to the cage, pushing past the adults and to the small girl. He heard the mother's screams as she lowered her body, wrapping herself protectively around her child. It took no time for the Kraang to rip them apart and take the child toward the chair under the mutagen.

Leo had forbid him to engage without cause, this was a cause he could not ignore. No child was going to become a mutant, not while he had a chance to help. Silently, with the stealth taught by his master, he was able to slip past the guards and make his way in through the window. He landed silently onto the metal beam above them and looked around. The place seemed almost unguarded, nearly too easy for him to attack the six Kraang in the warehouse. Thirteen Kraang in total, far smaller than their normal accumulation perhaps to keep a low profile? He shrugged as they began to snap the child, no older than ten, into the chair despite her cries as well as those of her mother. The other adults shook at the cage, hoping for it to somehow fall but they held fast despite their efforts.

He scanned the area quickly trying to find the object of his desire. Once his eyes made contact with the small box mark with red and yellow stripes reading danger he smiled. With the flick of his wrist the star hit its mark blackening the entire building.

"Kraang, is this the thing that is known as, Blackout?" one asked another.

There was a crash followed by the screaming of one of their own. "Kraang, has Kraang slipped?" another crash, followed by another and another. Something was going on and he readied his weapon. "The one who is hidden, show yourself so you may be defeated by Kraang." There were shots fired, lighting the room briefly with each blast before another crash was heard.

~LRDM~

Leo threw his hands in the air as they watched Donnie slip into the warehouse. "Damn it!" he heard the strongest of them growl out. They had spotted him waiting on the rooftop and was about to regroup with him when he started to move in on his own. It wasn't like him to act without a reason and each knew that there had to be something that drew him in.

"What do we do now?" April asked just as the place went dark. They moved closer, listening to the commotion inside. The guards outside didn't seem phased in the lightest, they just stood there. Shots fired and the adrenaline began to pump through them all. Donnie was in there...alone.

April let out a grunt of pain as she held her head. Images flashed through her mind too fast to truly comprehend. Voices filled her, surrounded her and she tried to focus. An image appeared before her, lasting more than all the others. An image of someone she knew dearly. "Donnie!" she cried out. "We have to get him out of there! It's a trap!" The others looked at her curiously. She rolled her eyes. "I don't know why but they are after Donnie!" That's all it took before the brothers ran in, attacking the seven guards who held strong.

These were Kraang elites, the explanation why there had been so few of them. They had studied each of the Turtles moves, mastering in their each individual style. More shots fired inside as they fought hard to get in, to get to their brother before the Kraang could do him harm. "DONNIE!"

~LRDM~

He watched as the last Kraang fell. Giving a satisfied smirk he then moved to the cage and picked the lock. Once opened he made his way to the little girl. With ease he allowed the hidden blade to be made visible and he cut the thick leather straps before turning around. He had to remain unseen after all. "DONNIE!" he turned his head in the direction of the cry and felt a sudden pain in the back of his neck.

His vision began to blur as he fell to his hands and knees. He was growing weaker, fighting was out for the question as he looked up at the little girl whose finger was pointed at him, the tip open like the barrel of a gun.

"Kraang has secured the one known as Donatello."

It was the last thing he heard as darkness took him.


	2. Confinement

Leo dodged the attack from the last Kraang droid before splitting it in two with his katana. He watched as it fell before him and the small squid like alien screeched before running off. He turned to the others who were frantically trying to enter the warehouse. "The window!" he shouted and instantly the two younger brothers moved on his command. He was worried. There wasn't a single sound coming from the place and Donnie had not emerged. His heart pounded wildly in his chest. If something happened to Donnie...how could he face their father? How could he ever face himself again?

Rage, pure unadulterated rage. That's all Raphael could call it as he plowed through the Kraang droids. How dare they! How dare they attempt to take his brother, to take the kindest of them! He yelled as he watched the last of his droids fall, the head still sparking from where he had impaled it on his staff. Leo was still fighting so he opted to heading over to Mikey to find a way in. The orange clad turtle was terrified and acting clumsier then ever as he tried to force the door open. "We got to get him! We can't let them take him!" he shouted, fear clear in his voice. "Move o'er!" he said as he smashed his sai into the key hole. It broke instantly but the door remained unmoved. "Damn it!" she shouted as he bashed his shoulder into it, hopping it would budge. It held its own. "The window!" he hear their fearless leader shout. Without hesitation he made his way up to the open window.

Fear. That's what Mikey knew he was feeling. Not for himself but for his brother. He looked at the two Kraang droids that surrounded him. He didn't have time to mess around. Extending the hidden blade he swung it in a quick circle before calling it back to his hand. Both Kraang fell, their heads severed. He ran for the door frantically kicking at it and barreling into it in hopes of dislodging it. His small body was useless, he couldn't get in. "We got to get him! We can't let them take him!" he shouted sounding pitiful as he did. "Move o'er!" his hope flared as Raph, the strongest of them, moved his sai into the key hole. He had broken into buildings before doing this, so in no time they would be in and rescuing Donnie. Tears pricked his eyes as he saw the lock brake. Raph cursed and bashed the door with his shoulder, it didn't work. "The window!" Leo called and he was the first to make his way up and through the opening.

The tree brothers noted the lights coming from a truck, lighting up just enough for them to see their unconscious brother arms bound tightly his legs tied even tighter. His bo was in the hands of and exposed Kraang droid, the kind lacking the human face. "Kraang must move swiftly if Kraang wishes not to encounter the ones known as the other turtles." He said as they moved to collect the fallen terrapin.

Raph jumped down, yelling viciously as he cut the hands from the droid that had laid his robotic hands on his sibling. "Don't ya eva touch 'em!" he shouted standing protectively in front of his younger brother. Leo and Mikey joined him as they took out two others.

"Raph, take him and go!" Leo ordered. He and Mikey were going to buy them time.

"No! They ain't get'en off dat eazy Leo!" he practically screamed. "I'm gonna kill 'em! They gone too far this time! I'm gonna kill 'em all and send a clear ass message to every one!" he shouted as he took a step forward.

Leo extended his katana blocking his brother's path. "I understand but right now Donnie is exposed! He can't fight! Neither of us could carry him for long, you have to go, now!" he ordered. "Don't make me pull rank on you Raph."

The red clad turtle knew Leo was right. Donnie was vulnerable. If, during the fight they lost track of him...He growled out as he pointed his sai at one of them. "Next time, I ain't hold'en back!" he retracted his weapons and scooped up his brother bridal style. He looked down at the peaceful expression on his brother's face. "Why you?" he whispered as he made his way out the door.

It was getting colder in New York, winter was fast approaching and the turtles were going to be slowed down but that wasn't today. Raph had made it far enough away that he laid Donnie down for a moment. He never took his eyes off of him as he moved to the hanging clothes and pulled down the blanket hanging there. He took out his sai and cut the ropes. The angered turtle then leaned against the wall, pulled his brother into a tight embrace and wrapped them in the blanket. It was warmer this way. Emerald eyes looked down at the face that rested on his muscular shoulder. His mouth was slightly open and his breaths were warm and wet as they tickled his skin. He cupped his brother's face and stroked his cheek with his thumb. "I almost killed 'em..." he whispered. "Would ya have hated me if I did?" he wondered. Donnie had always been against killing, that's why he used a bo. It's true the hidden blade could kill someone, but it was used more for cutting through the robotic bodies of the Kraang droids. He himself would never turn it against another living being. Donnie sighed in his sleep and nuzzled closer to Raph. The other chuckled. "Either that's a yes or ya try'en ta get warmer."

"Donnie!" April ran over to them her tessen in hand. "I-Is he..." her worried look was enough to make him wince internally.

Casey smiled as he put a supportive hand on her shoulder. "Look." He said pointing his finger at the rising and falling of Donnie's chest. "He's okay, see breathing." He himself was relieved by it.

"I was so worried that they got to him! I didn't know what to do!" she was shaking softly. "Where are the others?" she asked looking around.

"Right here." Leo jumped down and moved directly to Donnie. He frowned at the marks on his wrists and ankles from where the ropes had been. "We can't stay, the one called for backup before we took him down."

Mikey fidgeted in his place. "Oh, he's okay right?! Tell me he's going to be okay?!" he clearly couldn't handle it. That had been too close for comfort, way too close. He watched as his brother took a breath and smiled in triumph. "I knew he couldn't be taken down so easily!"

Raph carefully stood up. "Here." Leo said as he handed his brother the bo. "Use it to support him." He nodded as Leo and Mikey put Donnie on the larger turtle's back and onto the bo. It was the same way Donnie had carried April safely out of the Kraang ship during the invasion. The olive turtle's hands draped over his brother's shoulders. "Put da blanket on 'em." He said. He wasn't happy about taking someone's blanket but he would be sure to return it when they were done.

~LRDM~

Upon seeing his sons running into the lair he had felt relief. His sons, as well as April and Casey were all safe. It was when his eyes locked onto his genius son's lulled head that the true panic set in. "What happened?!" he asked moving quickly to the couch where Raph had begun to lay Donnie. "Is he..." the quick shaking of his youngest's head was enough to ease his nerves if only slightly.

"Master, we were on a mission. There were Kraang and mutagen. April said she thought they were experimenting on humans so we called Donnie to meet us there." He watched on as their Master checked over their fallen brother's body. "He went in alone, we don't know why but it's not like him. Then April said that they were after Donnie, we broke through their defenses and found him like this." He bowed lowly to their master. "Forgive me! I have failed him!"

Splinter sighed heavily. "No, you did not. Had you abandoned him then yes you would have but you did not. You acted like a true leader Leonardo, I'm sure your brother will tell you himself when he wakes." He held his son's hand as he rubbed his head tenderly.

"You mean he's gonna wake up!" Mikey said happily.

"Hai. He was shot by a seishin antei-zai. He will awake in a few hours." He said softly.

Casey rubbed the back of his head and smiled brightly. "I'm new ta all this and well frankly I don't speak Chinese..."

"Japanese, Casey." Leo corrected. "And it's a tranquilizer dart."

Raph began to shake in fury. They drugged him...they had drugged his brother and were going to take him to some god forsaken place for whatever reason and they were almost too late to save him...he was almost too late.

"Calm yourself Raphael. You are upset as we all are." He didn't even turn from Donatello. "Miss O'Neil, can you tell us anything?" this time he turned and stood up. "Any information at this point would be helpful." He moved to the Kitchen to fill a bowl with cold water and grabbed a rag.

"He broke a fever hasn't he." Raph asked.

"A slight one, a side effect." Their father replied as he took his place beside his son again and placed to cool rag there.

April thought hard, pushing herself past her normal limits to remember. "I...I can't recall it all...so fast..." the pain was unbearable and she was forced to stop. "All I can say is that they want him, badly."

The old rat stroked his beard and nodded. "Thank you, that is enough for me to make my decision." He lowered his head and he looked at his son. He was already regretting this, but what choice did a father have?

Leo looked at him intently. "Decision, Master what decision?" he was getting worried now.

Splinter stood up and put on his serious face. "As of this moment, Donatello cannot be allowed to leave the lair, under any circumstances." He looked at the shocked faces of all before him. "Is that clear?"

~LRDM~

Chocolate eyes fluttered open. At first he couldn't make anything out, just blurry lines and smears across his vision. His head was pounding and his mouth was dry. He felt like that moment between sleep and awake, that hazy weak feeling that he hated so much. He felt like he was in water, the sounds were muffled but he knew somehow that they were familiar. He turned his head slowly, softly to the side. He smiled softly when his eyes, even though blurred, looked on at the unmistakable color of red.

"He's awake everyone! He's up!" Raph shouted as he moved over and gripped his brother's hand tightly. The others moved to them quickly, smiling and breathing a sigh of relief. "Hey Donnie-boy, how ya feeling?" he asked.

Said turtle's face dropped as he moved quickly to the side of the couch and vomited. There was little in his stomach as it was and all that come out was yellow goop. April ran to get a bowl as Mikey rubbed soothing circles on Donnie's shell. They watched helplessly as Donnie rid his body of any and all nourishment he had. "Leonardo, fetch him some green tea quickly!" splinter said fearfully. Leo did as told and even added some honey to help sooth his throat.

They watched him heave for what seemed like hours, the mere force of it was bad enough to produce tears which ran down his face. Raph clenched his fist tightly. Leo shouldn't have interfered. He should have let him kill those bastards. This was too far, for anyone. A hand touched his and instantly he turned to see those soft chocolate eyes that could melt his heart like butter. He was smiling at him, as best he could. "Relax Raph, I'll be fine." He said his voice scratchy due to the dryness of it. He laid his head back on the pillow and let out a soft exhale. Leo put the cup to his lips. "I know it's not your favorite, but it's better than coffee at the moment." Donnie wrinkled his face. It made everyone laugh, knowing he preferred his caffeine. He drank it without much more of a fuss.

The olive-skinned terrapin closed his eyes, relaxing his body. "Guess I messed up huh?" he asked. He was the only one who seemed to have been hurt beyond the normal bruising.

"Dude, why did you go in there alone? That's usually Raph's thing." Mikey said softly, concerned at what could have possessed his brother to go in alone. For the Raph comment said turtle smacked him upside his head.

Donnie chuckled. "I thought they were gonna mutate a little girl. I didn't know when you guys were going to get there." He opened his eyes. "Turned out it was just a Kraang droid." He looked at them all. They looked angry but more so relieved that he was okay. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be! Any of us would have done the same!" Casey shouted out. "You got guts Gaptooth!" he looked to the others for approval.

He smiled softly before closing his eyes again. "Thanks..." he sighed, his body relaxing and he drifted off to sleep.

"Let him rest. Raphael, take him to his room. He will be fine tomorrow." Splinter stood up and shook his head. "My sons, your brother will need your support now more than ever. This will be hard on him, he will not be able to go with you on missions. Fear will be his down fall." He took a deep breath. "Do not give him reason to fear."


	3. Fears

Donatello had woken up again hours ago, in his lab. His head was spinning but other than that he felt fine. He slowly rose from his bed, holding his head as he did so to try and keep the room from spinning. His eyes were shut tight and he fought the urge to vomit. He took a deep breath and relaxed. "Glad ta see ya up Donnie-boy." Chocolate brown eyes looked up at his older brother. He looked worried but also relieved.

His green eyes locked on the other, his eyes shooting all around the younger with fear, almost as if he were waiting for something horrible to happen to him. It was a habit of his when his brothers were hurt, a habit that remained since they were children. Let it be known that Raphael loved his brothers dearly. "Ya look a little green."

The purple clad turtle smiled. The joke was old but it brought warm memories. Memories from before the attacks, before their lives were put in danger. Before their world changed forever by going to the surface world. Before his insomnia due to...He banished the reason from his mind, thinking about that now wouldn't help. Things were not as easy as they seem, Donatello knew that. He knew better than the others. His smile faded as he thought of that day three weeks ago despite having tried to banish it.

"Donnie? Earth to Donnie!" Raph waved his hand in front of the other's face. This was normal for the Braniac. He always spaced out when he was thinking. Something was up, and he figured it had to do with three weeks ago. He sighed heavily; he was trying to be patient. Trying to give Donnie space. It had not escaped Raph's attention that his insomnia had worsened in the last three weeks. Raph had blamed himself for it, for the stress he had caused Donnie. He took a deep breath. He had waited for his answer for so long. He wanted to know, needed to know what the other had truly thought of the idea.

Sorrowful chocolate eyes looked up at him, understanding what he wanted. "Raph...I...I haven't decided yet. Between running around on patrols and working on my projects...I can't think straight...I..." he felt a strong callused hand on his shoulder. It was strong but also held a sense of gentleness that no one would think Raphael could possess. He needed that, it grounded him to reality when his mind was a vortex of 'what if's' and 'how to's'.

The other smiled softly, understandingly. "It's okay lil bro, just relax and think it through." He wasn't going to push the issue, not so soon after the kidnapping attempt. No, he would wait, after all Donnie was forbidden to leave the lair. The sudden reality hit the hothead. Donnie was going to be the only one left at home, the one who would worry for them. He would curse himself for not being there and fear for their lives. 'Fear will be his downfall.' At the time he didn't understand his Master. Now, now he did and the reality pained him. What would Donnie do if his fear had grown to be too much to bear? Donnie's love for his brothers ran deep with in him. He rarely was vocal about it, but he showed it in the things he did and invented to keep them safe or make their lives better. He hugged him then, holding him tightly. "We thought we lost ya..."

"Dude! No hugging in the family unless I'm there!" Mikey bounced in jumping on the bed and wrapped his arms around his older brothers. "There! Donnie sandwich." The goofball nuzzled into his immediate older brother's neck before looking up at him contently. "Alright Donnie, give your brother some sugar!" he puckered his lips and closed his eyes. Instead of meeting Donnie's lips he was met with a smack to the face by Raph. "DUDE! Kisses make everything better!" he pouted sticking his lower lip out. He was childish yes, but sometimes it took a carefree attitude to make the others relax. His fun loving ways and innocent pranks kept the tension low with in his home and his brothers needed that, none more than Donnie.

"Raph you didn't have to smack him." The olive skinned turtle said softly, inspecting the growing bruise. He noticed the look in his baby brother's eyes and the way he moved into his touch. Donnie's breath was caught in his throat. So it was the same with Mikey. He wanted his answer as well but wouldn't ask for it. He was giving him time and patients, something unheard of from Mikey the Prankster. He took a deep breath and sighed, removing his hand from the other. All he needed to deal with now was...

"How are you feeling?" Leo. Their leader stood a few feet from the bed, a concerned look in his eyes. By the way he was standing, stiff and proper, he had been in a long discussion with Master Splinter. Donnie knew it was about what had happened and what they would do about it. The obvious solution would be to ground him, to keep him safe in the lair until they discovered why the Kraang had wanted to kidnap him. Yet, if they were going to face the Kraang without him... "You always were the smart one." Donnie's dark eyes looked to his eldest brother who was now sitting on the bed next to him after shooing Mikey to move behind him. "You figured it out didn't you?"

Mikey looked to his oldest brother with a confused look on his face. "Figured what out? He already knows we love him bro!" he said jumping for joy and hugging the turtle in question.

"No bonehead, Donnie figured out what Splinta said." Even he was surprised by the fact that he was able to deduce that by simply looking at Fearless. His genius brother was something else entirely.

Donnie nodded. "It's for the best. Besides now I can finish my projects in peace." He forced a smile as he looked at his brothers. Deep in his heart he had planted his fear, the fear of losing his brothers. He couldn't be there for them, he couldn't decode the security systems from the Kraang computers, he couldn't rewire portals and he couldn't deduce what the Kraang were up to by the weapons they had. He loved his brothers but they couldn't tell the difference from a bazooka and a deatomizer.

"It is good to think on the Brightside my son, but do not hide in the light for too long." He rubbed his beard and looked to his sons.

"Why not sensei?" Mikey asked.

"Simple, you will get sunburn." Almost instantly the tension in the room died with the roar of laughter coming from the teen boys. Each couldn't help it, Splinter had made a joke and it was actually funny. He looked at his sons with love and admiration. They were strong for their years and each possessed a spirit of their own. Their bond as warriors was close but their bond as brothers far closer. For that he was truly grateful. Yet, his eyes wandered to a certain turtle. He was the one son that left him questioning. He was always so quiet so drawn up in his projects and job that he barely remembered to eat, drink and sleep. He had found himself asking his brothers to bring him food; to be sure he was eating because Donatello was the kind of turtle to worry about them. He once walked in on his son staring at the various monitors, scanning the security cameras after the Foot Droids had found their lair. He knew the paranoia, the fear in his eyes whenever something on the screen appeared he stood quickly and drew his Bo only to find it was a rat. The late hours were seen in his training, in the fact that his movements were slow and his skills diminished. He would take the beating though, take the countless blows and get back up never doing much else but dodging and knocking them down. Though, he himself had seen that in battle, Donatello did not hesitate to attack when defending his brothers. He was quick to use his staff to knock the enemy unconscious, never harming them outside of simple bruises and scrapes or a bad headache. For this reason he believed more of the Foot ninja and Purple dragons chose to fight him. Leonardo had said that more chose to fight him that it was to the point the others had to step in and help out. At one point they had come to his room, tears in their eyes telling him that they had taken a life, that they had done so to protect their brothers and in doing so ended a human life. All had come to seek comfort, all but Donatello.

Raphael was the first, he had come late in the night to tell his story. To tell how a Foot Ninja had snuck up on Leonardo and attempted to skewer him but he had been quick enough to turn, stabbing his sai through the punk's neck and cut the vein. He told his sensei how Donatello had come running to help the fallen enemy, how he alone had tried to save the kid's life but it had been too late. Raph had killed him in order to protect his brother.

Leonardo was the second. He had come in the day time after spending a sleepless night trying to justify what he had done. Donatello had been over whelmed at one point in battle. The enemy's number was too much because they focused on the pacifist. Leonardo had noticed the Purple Dragon on the rooftop, a gun aimed at his little brother. He had acted quickly, climbing the wall in order to make it in time. The gun had gone off just as he made it to the top. Not thinking as fear consumed him, he had run at the bastard dodging the shots and driving his katana blade through the man's heart. He had watched as the man fell from the roof, falling and landing on the ground next to Donatello. After seeing his brother's worried eyes look up at him, he knew that his brother had somehow dodged the shot.

Michelangelo was last, he had come running into the room after the mission crying and sobbing in his father's arms. He said that he had not meant it, that he had just tried to stop him from hurting Raph. He too had killed a Purple Dragon. He was fighting a group of them when he noticed a large one moving slowly behind his brother. Without fully thinking, Michelangelo had jumped on his back while wrapping the chain of his nunchuk around the other's neck. The large opponent had flailed and swung him around rapidly, trying to get him off. It had taken sometime but the large man suddenly fell to the ground. The young turtle had thought that he simply passed out but after Donatello had checked his pulse and immediately tried to give him CPR, he knew he had done more than just K.O him.

It was Donatello they turned to first for reassurance. It was Donatello who soothed their aches and pains after taking a life. It was Donatello who talked to them, encouraged them to talk about how they felt, who told them that bottling the pain and heartache would only make them suffer more. It was Donatello who told them to go to him and talk, so they knew that his words were true. Donatello was no leader, Donatello did not have physical strength, Donatello was not quick and agile. No, Donatello was intelligent, kind, caring, but most of all, he bore the weight of the family on his shoulders forever with a gentle smile on his face.

~LRDM~

Donnie was working in his lab. It was his second day of confinement and he showed no signs that he was upset or angry. He smiled and laughed, played games with Mikey, meditated with Leo and fixed the Stealth Shell with Raph. Everything was back to normal, well as normal as it could get from three weeks ago. He knew what was coming as spring drew near. He knew that could have caused their behavior and that it could be why they were so patient. They had asked early in order to give him time. He turned off his blow torch and rubbed his eyes. They had asked him, all within three days. Each of them had come, nervous and scared but each had found the courage to ask.

It had been a shock to say the least. He never would have expected that from them, let alone be able to answer them. He loved them all dearly but sadly, not in the way they were hoping for. There was too much for him to do, to fix, to make that would save their lives. It wasn't like he hadn't thought of it before, being as they are the only ones of their kind and that the possibilities of mating a human were slim to none, about one in a one billion chance and since there were seven billion people on the planet that averaged to far less than one percent. This was why he left his crush on April go. Even if he could make her happy, the most he could provide her was their own sewer to live in. It wasn't right, and he couldn't bring himself to keep her from the sun. To Donatello, he knew he would have to figure it out soon, that his brothers, all three had chosen him and he wasn't sure if he should be flattered or terrified. He himself did not like being the center of attention, not unless he put himself there with a new invention.

He looked down at his cold coffee, staring at his reflection in what his master called the black poison. He looked at his dark eyes, his odd skin color and his slender form. He was the thinnest of his brothers but the tallest. Unlike his brothers, he was physically weak. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how perfect his katas were he just couldn't match them. He couldn't fight on par with them. So long ago he took up the books on the shelf that his brothers ignored. It was here that he found purpose, fond his strength and the ability to help his family. The more he learned, the safer his family became. It wasn't long after his first security system proved successful by warning them of a flood did he see the eyes of his father fall on him with pride. That was the first verbal praise he had ever received. He recalled their 13th birthday. Master splinter had gone out for food and left Leo in charge. Things were quiet that day until their master came back with gifts wrapped in old newspaper. Leo had gotten his first real Katanas; the look on his face was so priceless. Like god himself had given them to him. Mikey had been given a large stack of comic books; some that they found were worth a lot of money. Raph had gotten the barbells he had wanted, had begged their father for. Yet, Donnie was forever grateful for his gift. His master, his father had given him a computer. He recalled the tears in his eyes as he looked it over. It was new, shiny and beautiful. An endless world of knowledge. He had found that his father had used his money from being a human to buy it. Money he had said was for a proper cause and none would argue the choice he had made. Giving Donnie the computer was the best thing to happen to them, because he was able to salvage things and make their lives easier.

His brothers often brought things home and placed them in his lab begging him to fix them. For Mikey it was the tv set he found, Raph took a liking to a radio and Leo a stove to make tea. Donnie never argued with them, no he was all too happy to be of use to them in some way. He always looked forward to the challenge they would bring him when they walked through the door.

Now, he dreaded it. He hated when they walked in alone and carry on conversations hoping the subject would shift to something of interest to them. Donnie found it exhausting trying to keep the conversation innocent. To keep it from swaying in the direction he didn't want it to go. Their visits were becoming more frequent, more demanding. He set the cup down and hung his head. They didn't know that the others had wanted the same thing of him. The others didn't know and he was going to keep it that way. He couldn't chose, wouldn't chose because the others would be hurt. He saw nothing in himself that would appeal to them, nothing that would beckon their attention to him.

He thought to the time Slash had beaten him, of how he had taunted him. 'You're weak, the weakest of them. Thin, frail, nothing like a ninja. You lack the killer instinct, too kind too gentle, a mistake if I had ever seen one. Shoulda been born a female, perhaps then you could be truly useful to them.'

He narrowed his eyes. Could that be it? Could they want him simply because he was the closest to a female? He shook the idea from his head. No, they were not like that. His brothers knew who he was who he truly was and Slash had wanted to get a rise out of him. He wanted Donatello to lose himself in anger and attack but instead he allowed himself to be beaten, for his arm to be dislocated and his skin marred. He would not give him the fight he wanted, and that only served to anger him more.

A hand was placed on his shoulder. He jumped from his thoughts and jerked from his chair standing defensively his dark eyes narrowed as he looked at his eldest brother. "I was going to ask if you were okay." He folded his arms across his chest and looked at him. It was the same look Splinter gave them when he wanted an explanation.

"I was thinking." His body relaxed and he moved to the coffee maker to start another pot. "I think I can add a drill to the ShellRaiser as a way to cut through Kraang ground units and..." his body tensed as he felt his brother hug him from behind. A hug had never bothered him much, Mikey does it any chance he could get but this...there was intention behind it and the seasons were changing. Spring was coming soon and his time was running out. He could feel his elder brother's wet breath on his neck; he could hear his deep inhale knowing fully well that he was taking in his scent. This would be Leo's third mating season, Raph's second and by the look of it, Mikey's first. As for Donnie, he couldn't be sure if he was ever going to experience it. He was not in the best of health; his body was more focused on caring for its self in place of wanting pleasure. During the season, they were locked in their rooms with Splinter feeding them through the slots. Those who showed no signs of sexual maturity would be released but those that did were forced to stay locked away for their own safety. Raph had nearly killed Leo last year when his maturity had been hit and hormones had clouded his mind causing him to see Leo as a rival.

"Leo..." his voice trembled and he shook. His elder brother had been the first to come into his lab, his cheeks were red and his eyes barely looked at him. At first, Donnie had thought he and Raph had another fight. Whenever they did Leo would come in first and talk and Raph would follow a few hours later after he calmed down. He recalled it all too well...

He had been sitting down at his computer running scans for viruses on one computer and updating his codes for Metalhead with the other he had built himself. It was kinda late when Leo walked into the room, by his guess he was up waiting for Raph to come home. The silence was enough to say that this was going to be a different kind of talk. Something more important than a fight. "I got your tea ready, just the way you like it." He poured him a cup and handed it to his brother who seemed to blush even more as their hands briefly touched. "Did Raph get home safely?"

It happened for a moment but he barely caught it, the slight look of jealousy. "Yeah, h-he's fine." He choked out, sounding as if there was a lump in his throat. He looked at his cup of green tea that Donnie had specially ordered from Japan for him and their sensei. It was delicious tea, an herbal recipe handed down from the feudal times. "Hey Donnie..."he paused as if unsure to continue. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, regaining himself as a leader, an elder brother. "What are your plans for Mating Season? I'm sure you and/or Mikey are going to go through it this year and I was wondering..."

Donnie smiled in understanding. "You want to know the best ways to ease everything right? Well I think during this time we can try to pleasure ourselves, I know it sounds out right ridiculous but given the circumstances it will be used to release the tension and..."his hands were suddenly taken by his elder brother's and he was pulled into a tight embrace. "L-Leo?" his voice was soft, unsure.

They stayed that way for a moment before Leo moved back and cupped is face between his hands. Brilliant and calculating silver eyes looked to him, his cheeks blushing a deeper red then he had ever seen before. "I wasn't asking that...I was asking...If you would be my mate?"

Now it was Donnie's turn to blush. Mate? Mate with Leonardo, his eldest brother, their leader? It was so sudden, too soon too fast. Yet, for Leo how hard had it been to drag himself in here to ask? Donnie had recalled the first season; the one no one knew was coming. Leo had been off. He was eating more and practicing more and even initiating some of the fights between him and Raph. He had attacked him out right one day, pinning him to the ground snarling at him. It was unprovoked. Raph had simply walked past him. Leo touched him, scanned the hothead's body with his eyes before growling and pushing off of him. His eyes turned to Donnie then, his movements quick and calculating. He had pinned him to the ground, touching and scanning him like he had Raph. Yet there was no growl, just a satisfied purr. If Splinter had not come, Donnie would not have been able to escape him.

All eyes fell to Donnie for an explanation, for something. He took blood samples from all of them, noting Leo's hormone levels were at a far higher rate than theirs, over ten times. They had locked him up in his room for safety as he researched the cause. "Mating Season", he declared to them. "A time when turtles reproduce in spring." And so goes it from then on each spring.

His silence must have spoken for him because Leo stood up then and looked down at his brother. "I didn't expect an answer today or even tomorrow. Think about it and let me know, please? Even if the answer is no...just don't leave me wondering...hoping..." he paused at the door. He wanted to say more you could see it, but he didn't. He said nothing, choosing to leave his awestruck brother alone to contemplate.

"Do you have an answer?" he asked in a hushed tone. He had waited for some time, wondering, waiting for any sign any hint that his brother was going to agree but Donnie was good when it came to secrets, he hid them well. After all Donnie wasn't the quiet one for nothing. His hold on his brother tightened as his heat surrounded him. He had always kept his eyes out for Donnie. His paranoia about the pacifist grew the more the other refused to harm his enemies. Donnie would never listen to him, no matter how many times he argued with him he would only smile and keep his voice low, never raising it once.

The violet-clad turtle lowered his head. He couldn't answer him...he wouldn't answer him. Answering him meant the others would hurt. Denying him would make him hurt. Either way, he was forced against the wall, trapped. There was no way out, no way to stop it. Not unless he rejected them all but then he would have to face their pained expressions and he clearly didn't want that. No, he had to buy more time, to properly think it through.

"LEO!" the youngest voice rang out causing said turtle to release the other in favor of tending to him. Mikey ran into the lab, his eyes frantic as he tried to catch his breath. "Dude...Kraamng attack...Murakami-san's!"

On instinct, Donnie moved to get his Bo but was stopped before he could touch it. "Oh no, not you braniac, you're grounded remember? It's for your own good." Leo said with his leader voice the one brimming with authority. He could not disobey him; he had to be the level headed one. He looked to both Raph and Mikey; they held the same look on their faces. Fighting would be like trying to swim with his arms bound. He took a deep breath and moved away from the Bo. He couldn't go. He couldn't be there to explain why the Kraang were at Murikami's, he couldn't explain what their new weapon was and why they should stay away from it. He wasn't going to be there to hack the Kraang computers if they were to follow them the enemy base. He wouldn't be there to help them against the one enemy that put his usefulness to the tests. Fear began to consume him, take over. He was terrified of losing his brothers, he didn't know what the Kraang had planned, what they were going to do, why they wanted to do it but it was not knowing that terrified him the most.

'Fear will be his downfall.' Splinter's warning rang in the other's heads. 'So don't give him reason to fear.' Mikey smiled. "DUDE! I like totally can't wait to trash some Kraang bots! We're so going to kick some shell!" it didn't take long for the other two to catch on.

"Yeh! The robo-cans are going to eat my sais!" Raph shouted, cheering along with Mikey. He spun his sais and grinned while doing so. "Me babies are gonna be swing'en and sing'en!"

Leo nodded. "Don't worry Donnie! We'll bring you back a toy or two! I'm sure you'll love it!" he said watching the other smile slightly and shake his head at their nonsense.

Donnie couldn't help but smile. They were trying to cheer him up, to make his burden of worrying lessen but it didn't. It was awful, horrible this ache in his chest beating like a war drum. He lowered his head. This had to be how Splinter feels every time they left the lair to fight. He would have to ask his father how he was able to handle it. How he was able to stand the fear, the waiting, the hoping. But for now, he simply watched as Mikey bounced off after Leo. Raph stayed, his emerald eyes looking at his younger brother. "We'll be fine. Don't worry 'bout us." He shot his brother a wide grin before running off and leaving him alone.

Fear began to grow with in him, eating him alive. He balled his fists at his side; he wasn't one to burst out in anger. That was Raph's bit. Yet here and now Donnie felt as if he was going to burst. He couldn't help it, it was driving him insane. He couldn't just sit there and do nothing; he had to go despite what they said. He had to know that they were safe, that they were going to come home. He moved quickly, grabbing his Bo and turned to the garage door. "Donatello, where do you think you are going?" he was using his father voice, the kind one brimming with authority. Said turtle froze in place, waiting to be lectured.

After a long pause with nothing said, Donnie broke the silence. "I can't sit here and wait. They'll need my help, what if they get hurt? Mikey constantly needs first-aid he'll hurt himself and he'll need me there to tell him everything will be okay, Raph will lose his temper and take things too far so I need to be there to calm him down and Leo will need a right hand someone he could bounce ideas off of and reassure him that his plan will work." Tears were streaming down his face as his body visibly shook. "Otoo-san...I-I need to be there for them. I can't sit here and do nothing while they're out there protecting me."

The old rat nodded and rubbed his beard. "It is understandable to care so deeply for your brothers, but Donatello tell me how do you expect them to fight if they have to keep their eyes on you?" he stepped forward and placed his hand on his son's shoulder. "You are strong my son, you hold the weight of this family on your shoulders but you do not need it to be so. When I pass..."

Donatello turned then, his eyes locking on his father. "Otoo-san, don't say that..." the elder raised his hand silencing him.

"It is a fact I cannot hide from. One day I will pass on and be with my beloved Tang Shen again. When that day comes, your brothers will need you most of all. For it is your level head and your ability to smile through the hardships that will help them to endure. You are closest to them all, I can see it." He knew exactly how each would react. Raphael would be the most unpredictable. He looked to Donatello as the true strength in the clan.

The teen took in the knowledge of his father, the undying truths that his words were indeed the wisdom of an old rat. Yet his mind could not be turned from the fact that they were out there because of him. They were risking their lives because of him, because he existed. The grip on his Bo tightened. If they were to get hurt...if something happened to them it was his fault. Everything was his fault. It always was. He shook his head, his eyes looking but not seeing. "Watashi o...nani desu ka?" he asked, unsure of anything he could do to help.

A hand fell on his shoulder, a loving kind hand that he knew so well. The hand that had raised him... "Endure. Have faith and endure the concern, face your fear. They will come home, they are your brothers, believe in them. If you do not, then you have failed them." Splinter let out a deep sigh and left his son to his own thoughts.

To Donatello, the seed had already been planted. His fears were too much to handle and they were growing as fast as bamboo inside his heart. 'Endure, if you do not you have failed them.' His father's words replayed in his head over and over again. "Aniki...Onii-san...Otoouto-san..." he fell to his knees, his head hanging in his hand. "Come home...come home safely."

A/N

Translations may not be fully accurate but as I am still a student learning please forgive me if they are wrong!

Watashi o...nani desu ka? – What am I to do?

Aniki- a familiar term for elder brother, how Donnie refers to Leo

Onii-san- Older brother, how Donnie refers to Raph

Otoouto-san- younger brother, how Donnie refers to Mikey

If I ever forget a translation please let me know! Hope you enjoyed this chapter


	4. Touch

His fingers seemed to dance across the keyboard as she searched for formulas and tested their interaction virtually before he risked doing it. One wrong miscalculation would result in another explosion. He was all too well reminded of the last mishap. How his foolishness had resulted in Raph's best friend being mutated into something cruel. Slash was his creation, his responsibility, his fault. If he had been more careful...if he had just double cheeked his formula he had worked for three sleepless nights on...if he had just thought before he acted...He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. If only he had calculated the outcome correctly, if he had just cared the one and moved the decimal over two spaces...Spike would be in his lab now watching him torment himself.

Donnie thought a moment. Just what does Spike, no Slash, remember? Raph had said something about him recalling the many years of watching him train. Could Slash remember everything Donnie said to him? He hoped not. He didn't want Raph, or the others, to know he confided in the tiny turtle as well as his immediate elder brother. He sighed. Even so, there wasn't anything Slash had on him. Even when talking to someone who could never say a word, or at least never thought they would, he was still quite quiet.

"Why so silent Donnatello?" Slash asked as he threw his body carelessly to the ground, scrapping his shell against the roof top. "You never say shit like Raphael does, always complaining about something or someone." He kicked him hard in his plastron causing him to lose his breath. "You're far weaker then him too." he gripped his arm with bruising force as he pulled him to his feet. "You're not as flexible or quick like Michelangelo. Those late nights make you as stiff as a board." he bent his arm back causing him to hiss in pain. An audible snap was heard, but instead of a scream of pain all he was given was heavy panting. "Told ya." he said softly as he let him fall to his knees gripping his now broken arm.

Donnie's teeth were clenched as he closed his eyes, his good hand gripping the break. Still he said nothing. "What's the matter, can't speak against the truth?" a large hand gripped his neck, slamming him into the wall of the building. "You're nothing like Leonardo. He's amazing. His skill surpasses all of you. If only Raphael would pull his head out of his ass maybe he could surpass him. Hell he could if he wanted to." he chuckled darkly. "You outta hear what Raphael says about ya. I bet you'd speak up then." he moved his head closer to his ear hole, hot breath on his skin. "You're weak, the weakest of them. Thin, frail, nothing like a ninja. You lack the killer instinct, too kind too gentle, a mistake if I had ever seen one." the grip around his neck tightened, cutting off the air supply to his lungs. His head moving, touching Donnatello's skin, almost affectionately. He took a deep breath, sighing as he spoke. "Shoulda been born a female, perhaps then you could be truly useful to them."

The genius frowned. If only he had been more careful...he could have spared Mikey and Raph a hell of a beating. Poor Mikey, he was tied and suspended from a building. He couldn't sleep for a week after that, too afraid Slash would come back to finish the job. Dispite being told by not only Raph, Leo and Splinter, they youngest terrapin had gone to him for reassurance. For that reason, Donnie had installed extra cameras and even monitored them late at night, so Mikey could sleep peacefully. Sleep...it sounded so welcoming at the moment but he knew he had to press on. Without him the others were at a disadvantage. He needed to work hard to protect his family, no matter the cost. Sleeping and being lazy were not an option when there was a broken security cam in tunnel 171 nor a busted sewer light in tunnel 482. Those problem she would have to fix soon enough. Perhaps if his brothers were to escort him through the tunnels it would be safe enough, right? After all it was a rare event that anything happened in the sewers.

A small bell went off, alerting him of the freshly brewed coffee waiting for him. He moved over to the makeshift coffee maker and poured some of his new flavored coffee into it. "Who knew Vanilla biscotti would taste so good as a coffee?" he asked himself. A smile made it's way to his lips. Nothing like a fresh pot to keep you going in the late hours.

Speaking of which...

He looked at the clock on his laptop. "Quarter til one..." he said worriedly. His brothers had left close to eight o'clock. Where were they? He moved to his shell cell to see if he had any messages, none were found. He tried to stay calm, focused. Standing up slowly, and after hearing an audible pop, he made his way to the dojo.

Under the tree he found his sensei meditating. He looked so wise, so peaceful, so strong. He had come to see if they had messaged him, if they had given him any kind of update, but he thought against it. If Sensei was not worried, then neither should he, right? Slowly he turned to leave...

"Donatello, your concern for your brothers is honorable but your lack of faith in them is most discouraging." he said not breaking his posture. "Come, sit with me."

The young mutant was hesitant, meditating with Sensei was Leo's thing. Regardless, he obeyed his elder and sat in the exact pose. "I do not lack faith in them Sensei...I merely worry."

"Worry leads to fear which leads to darkness, my son." his voice was guiding, as always when he wished his sons to truly listen.

The olive turtle lowered his head slightly. "How can I not worry about them? They are my only brothers, to lose even one...I don't think I will ever recover."

"You must be prepared for anything my son. After all, these are dangerous times we live in." The old rat placed his hand on his son's head. "I know that one day none of you may grace my home again and I am prepared for that. You are all precious to me in your own ways." he could see the sadness in his master's eyes. "My darling Miwa..." his eyes opened then, turning to the picture. "...not a day goes by I do not worry for her." He stood then and looked down at his son. "Be strong Donatello, for if someone were to fall, I look to you to take his place."

He looked up, his eyes watering slightly. How could he just say that? How could he just openly admit that he wants Donnie to replace a member of the family so casually? "Sensei I...I can't replace anyone...I...I'm too weak to..." Donnie quickly blocked the rodent's tail. Standing up quickly he moved to the side. "Sensei what are you..." He dodged the kick meant for his face.

He ran at him without a word as he jabbing his hands into his son. The old rat watched as his genius child simply dodged, showing no anger, no hatred, no annoyance, nothing. He moved to a different approach. He began to knock his son down, watching him raise and knocking him down again. Each time he rose, each time he took a fighting stance knowing he could not hope to beat the elder more experienced ninja. Splinter knew none of his sons liked Rondori. To them it was a punishment, a lesson each time. Leonardo would give it his all taking his skills and testing them against his master. Raphael would keep attacking before cursing and calling it a waist of time. Michelangelo would get tired of falling and give up after a while. Yet, Donatello who had little hope to beat him simply kept getting up no matter how many times he got knocked down. Yes after some time he would get annoyed, who wouldn't if they were knocked down repeatedly? Though, unlike the others, he was quick in getting the point of the lesson. He understood why he was doing this.

"Yame." he said, ending the session. "While you are not a skilled fighter like Leonard, nor a aggressive fighter like Raphael, nor a quick fighter like Michelangelo..." he could see the self loathing in his sons eyes. He placed a calm hand on his shoulder. "You should not concern yourself with achieving what they have. You surpass them in your own trials my son. You are a defensive fighter where your brothers are all offensive. There is much you can teach them if given the time." he gave a small smile. "Defensive fighters are rare in their own, they are the intelligent ones who wait and watch for an opening and when given the chance, they strike."

Donnie smiled, knowing his master was trying to cheer him up, prove a point and distract him from his worry. It worked if only a little. "Master...on the battle field...I feel so useless. They are constantly saving me and..."

"You feel you are a burden to them?" he finished.

"Hai, sensei." he said sadly.

Splinter sighed heavily. "You may not be as skilled a fighter then them as I have said, but, I am sure your brothers are finding out that they are having a difficult time without you."

~LRDM~

"AHHHHH!"

"Can't ya move any fasta?! Mikey's getting creamed out there!"

"I don't see you trying anything!"

"I aint got the right touch for that kinda stuff. Wishing the branic was here."

"TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFFFF!"

"Yeah me too he'd know if it was green or red?!"

"Da green one! It's always da green one!"

Electricity courses through Leo.

"My bad, cut da red one."

"YOU THINK?!"

~LRDM~

"I'm not so sure..." The purple clad turtle said lowering his head. "I'm so lost...I want to help them to be there for them but I don't want to doubt them and distrust them."

"Don...nie...sad?" Timothy asked.

"Yeah, but hey on the bright side I can work on my other projects." he said waving around his screwdriver.

"Don...nie...find...cure?" he asked.

"A cure? I'm running low on mutagen...Not to mention my last blunder with it created Slash. I want to calculate the outcome more before I do anything else with it so I can prevent another...mishap from happening."

"Don...nie...find...cure! Find...cure! Find...cure!" he repeated over and over until the genius agreed to run the tests. "Tha...nk..you..."

Experiment 1: Fail, acid formed.

Experiment 2: Fail, toxic gas formed.

Experiment 3: Fail, poison formed.

Donatello was down to his last little bit of mutagen. He sighed heavily as he turned too the clock. Forty after five, they still weren't home. Shaking his head, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked down at the two vials before him. Which one was the chemical mix in again? He wondered briefly before looking at his notes. Ah, vial 2. He slowly reached for the glass container as well as the mutagen. Carefully he added the concoction. "Easy does it..."

BOOM!

As soon as the mixture made contact, the test tube exploded in his hand, shooting glass all over the place. Luckily he was wearing his safety gear. "Another failure." he said shaking his head. "Sorry Timothy."

"Experiment 4: Fail, explosion." he typed in his computer.

After he was done, he stood up slowly, listening to the sound of his bones creaking back into place before moving to clean up his mess. It didn't take long for him to wonder about his brothers. Were they safe? Were they hurt? Were they captured? A thousand questions raced through his head. It didn't take long for him to find his bo staff in his hands instead of the broom stick. He looked down at it, conflicted. Should he stay? Or go?

"Awwww yeah! Pizza time!"

Donnie's head snapped to look at the lab door, unsure if he had head correctly.

"Shhhh! Ya knucklehead! Masta Splinta and Donnie are sleep'en!"

He dropped the bo, making his way to the door, to his brothers.

"Raph, you're not helping." Leo looked to the lab door and sighed. "See you woke him up."

The red clad turtle shrugged. "It was Mikey who did it!" He said moving toward the kitchen holding his arm.

Instinct kicked in and Donnie ran to him inspecting his wound. "Raph! You got hit!" he looked over the slight searing of the emerald green skin. "You have to be more careful." he said with what the others dubbed his mother voice.

Raph rolled his eyes. "Damn bot got me from behind Donnie." his voice hinting at his annoyance.

Donnie narrowed his eyes. "Come on into the lab, I'm going to wrap that up before it gets infected." he left no room for argument. Raph knew better anyway. When Donnie was in medic mode, don't mess with him.

Yet, Raph wasn't going to argue. It meant some alone time with Donnie and that was enough for him. After all, Mating season was soon and he wanted an answer. So, while Leo went to speak to master Splinter and Mikey declared war on the pizza, Raph followed contently behind his immediate younger brother. Knowing just where to go the red clad turtle walked over and took his seat on the metal table that they had found in a hospital dumpster. It was bagged up a bit but with a little Donnie love it was now seen to them as a comfort zone when they were sick or hurt.

The smaller turtle moved to the small kart beside the examination table and searched through everything until he found all he needed. The larger turtle watched every movement he made. Every flex of his muscles, the movement of his rich chocolate eyes, the way he smiled in relief at finding what he needed. The genius brother who found the little things in life to be great achievements. Donatello...he was the one Raph trusted the most.

"It's going to sting alittle." he said softly as he dipped the cotton ball into the rubbing alcohol. He watched Raph closely as he placed the damp ball on his wound, observing all his brother did so he could better assess the wound.

"SON OF A BITCH!" he shouted, gritting his teeth. "Dat fuck'en hurts like hell!" it hurt, it really really fucking hurt.

The genus chuckled lightly. "Don't talk about our mom like that." he said as he took the ball away. "Relax the hard part is over." he said kindly, moving over to the ointment and gently rub it on his brother's wound. "So, tell me what happened today. Why did it take so long?"

Raph wasnt sure if he should tell him or not. After all he could see the worry in his brother's eyes when they left and the undying relief when they had returned home. "Beat up some Kraang, ya know the usual." he said shrugging it off. He knew his brother wanted more details. "Leo defused a bomb on his own."

"He cut the green wire didn't he?" Raph laughed. "And got electrocuted. It's not funny, that bomb could have gone off and killed you guys!" Donnie warned his rich brown eyes now a deep coffee color. "You have to be more careful, you should have called me..." he turned away, looking off to the side. "I should have been there." he whispered.

The red clad turtle put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Dude, relax, we all got home safely. That's the important thing right?" He said trying to make the younger turtle feel better. "It's good. Mikey didn't even get a single bruise, Leo figured a plan out all on his own, and I got to whip some major Kraang ass!" A large smile formed on his face, hoping to ease his brother's worries.

Donnie began to wrap his arm, he didn't say anything for sometime, until he finished and tied it off. "So basically, you guys didn't need me..."

'Shit!' Raph interenally slapped himself.

Brown eyes turned to him as he stood up, soft smile gracing his lips. "It's no surprise really. Should have known I was just a bu..." he felt his body be thrown into the wall. He let out a grunt of pain as there were two loud thuds on either side of him. Raph had him pinned, unable to escape. Donnie had no choice but to look at him and face the wrath of a pissed off Raphael.

"I told ya didn't I?!" he growled out. "I told ya a long fucking time ago you ain't no burden to us! Don't use that fucking word around me Donnie!" He shook with rage, his heart pounding in his chest. It hurt to see Donnie so scared of him, but he had to hear this out. "Stop sell'en ya self so low. We need ya, like we need Splinta, and Leo, and Mikey, and me..." He relaxed alittle, his eyes growing softer. "We need ya Donnie." he whispered, his head moving closer to his, he closed his eyes, moving closer. He could feel his brother's frantic and frightened pants against his lips. 'Donnie's scared too.' he thought.

"Rapha..." He gave him no time as he moved to claim his lips. He had done this on a whim and he was terrified. Utterly and horribly terrified but also relived. He had done it! How many nights had he dreamed of this and now he finally done it! How many dreams were pledged with the awkward feeling of fake Donnie whining in pleasure that he gave to him? Don tried to back away but Raph was too greedy to let him, he moved his hand behind his head and deepened the kiss, wanting to claim all there was to Donnie and so much more. He wasn't gifted with words like Leo, nor could he just bluntly say it like Mikey, no, Raph was a man (well turtle) of action and he was going to make the most of it.

"Rapha..." he didn't give him time to protest as he pressed his lips to his own. Donnie was in a state of utter shock. What the hell was going on? What had come over Raph to just...His mind was spinning with the 'what if's' and the 'whys' and 'hows' of it all. He was confused and scared. He tried to push away, but Raph held him in place, his large hand moving behind his head deepening the kiss. His mind was swimming and his legs grew weak as Raph explored his mouth, claiming each and every bit of it for himself. Tears formed in Donnie's eyes. Why would Raph do this to him?

He finally let go of the kiss, feeling amazing. He smiled expecting to see a blushing and embarrassed Donnie but all he found was a broken look and tear stained eyes. What was going on? Didn't he confess to him? Was it that Donnie didn't want him? He balled his fists, anger winning out to reason. "What the fuck Donnie?!" he growled out. The other turtle jumped at the harshness of the voice as he spoke. It hurt, it hurt so much to be rejected after feeling like it was right, like it was perfect, that noting mattered besides them. He loved him, loved him so fucking much that all he could think about was him. In the late nights, when he was out cracking skulls, he was thinking about his sexy as hell younger brother leaning over his notes and smiling when he got the math right without using a calculator. He was way smarter then him and there was no way he could deny it. Hell his intelligence was what was sexy to begin with. Yet, what he loved most was the level headedness of his brother. He was everything Raph wasn't and that's what he loved most. Where Raph was crass and cruel and hotheaded, Donnie was caring and kind and levelheaded.

Donnie didn't mean to jump, he didn't mean to upset his brother, it was just that...he was confused. He was terrified of what was going on. Things were changing too quickly for him, far too quickly for him to adjust to him. His heart was racing, beating so rapidly in his chest that he couldn't help but think it would fall out. "Raph...I...I..." he couldn't think of what to say, of what to do. He turned his head away, looking at the ground. "It's too fast." he whispered. "Too much..." he turned his brown eyes to his angered brother. "..too soon." he said softly.

His hotheadedness was too much to ignore. "Too soon! When's da right time Donnie? Been three weeks and noth'en. Not a damn thing." he threw his hands in the air and began to pace, not wanting to damage months of his brother's hard work. "I..I can't help it any more. All I do is thinka you. Day and night, night 'en day...I'm go'en nutz Donnie." he looked at him, scared out of his mind. "I..I just don't wanna think about mat'en season. About what I might do to ya."

He lowered his head. What was he to say to that? What was he to do? Why was it him? He was afraid. So afraid of what was to come. Of how his brothers would feel if he were to chose one over the two. "Raph please...you just got home...I spent all night worrying...I'm tired, your tired please..." he looked at him with pleading eyes. Begging his older brother to let him be for now, to think over everything that has happened.

Raph had long ago grown immune to Mikey's puppy eyes given the frequency he used them. The same could not be said for Donnie's because it was so rare. His anger died down. Donnie was going through a lot and he was being selfish. "I'm sorry." he said softly. "I'm sorry." he took one last look at his brother before leaving.

Donnie broke down, whimpering softly as he slid his shell down the wall. He hugged his knees to his chest, holding them close as the tears fell silently from his eyes. "Raph..."

~LRDM~

"Well I don't care if ya the leader or not! It was a stupid idea and almost got Donnie killed! That damn thing is from the Kraang, shoulda been more careful!"

"What you think I want him dead?! Is that what you think?! You are so blind to everything around you Raphael..."

"Oh the Fearless leader resorting to the full name! Blow it out ya shell Leonardo! See I can do it too!"

He couldn't be sure how long the fight lasted but he was waiting with tea brewed. Just as he predicted, Leo walked in just as the pot finished. He was tired. They talked for hours. Even after his confession they talked like nothing had changed. Donnie giving his input and how to approach the situation with Raph. Leo smiling and asking questions. Once he had his conscious clear he left.

Donnie moved to the hidden fridge, pulling out a bottle of beer and cracked it open. It was against all rule for it to even exist in the lair but he knew it relaxed Raph more then anything else. One would never hurt him or cause him to hurt anyone.

"Always da smart one." he said plopping down in his usual chair and taking the beer. He took a quick chug before folding his hands on the top of the chair and looked at his brother. "So what did Fearless have ta say?"

Donnie smiled and shook his head. "Patient confidentiality." he moved to pour himself some more coffee as he looked over his notes. "So what's on your mind." Raph opened his mouth the speak but he beat him to it. "Besides Leo being a pompous ass."

The red clad turtle burst into laughter. "I was just gonna say ass but I like that way better." He took another sip and wiped the tear from his eyes. "How do ya always know just what to say?"

"I'm the smart one remember?" he joked, scratching down a few notes and improving his sketch.

"Ya an artist too." he said softly. "A damn good one at dat." he cocked his head to the side for a better look. "Ya got talent."

He laughed light heartedly. "Yeah, cuz you know everyone is fighting for my crappy designs." the light skinned turtle moved to grab his ink pen to finalize the arc. "It's not talent, it's hard work put into the design and many hours of messing up."

"Speak'en of mess'en up..." he rubbed his arm awkwardly.

Brown eyes locked with emerald. "You didn't mess up Raph, your just more vocal then then us." he said softly, reassuring his brother.

"That's not it, it's just...this is gonna be messed up but..." he moved to rubbing his head, his cheeks blushing brightly. "...You know we're the only one of our kind...and well...mat'en season is coming...so..."

'No...no, no, no, no, no!' Donnie screamed in his head, hoping, praying it wasn't going to be the same as with Leo.

Raph took his hand, rubbing his thumb over his brother's affectionately. "What I'm try'en ta say is...Will ya be my mate?" His face must have been in complete and utter shock. "I don't need no answer now or tomorrow, hell not even next week, just think it over okay?" his eyes were pleading with him, begging him to at least think it though thoroughly.

He nodded slowly. Raph stood up, downing the last of the beer and kissed his forehead. "Thanks." he said softly, smiling with a gentleness Donnie rarely seen since they were children.


	5. Battle

Raphael paced back and forth in his room. His mind replaying what had transpired between him and Donnie. He was a fool, there was no doubt about that. A fucking fool who took advantage of his brother's vulnerability and his inability to turn him away. He hated himself, more then he ever had before. Donnie hated him, he knew it! Donnie hated him and it was all his fault! He picked up his sunglasses and threw them into the wall succeeding in breaking them beyond repair. "Damn it!" he growled out, not at the loss of his shades, but at the loss of his brother.

The kiss replayed in his mind once more. It had been awkward, queer and forceful. Yet, everything about it just...felt so right. Donnie's lips were soft and smooth. His body tall but lean as he held him in his arms. Everything had felt so right, so perfect, far beyond what he ever imagined, like they were made just for each other. He touched his fingers to his lips, swearing he could still feel Donnie on them. A smile rose to his lips. Perhaps, he could still make this right.

~LRDM~

"Kraang is doing what is known as Reporting in." the sole surviving bot said as he strolled up to the image screen of Kraang Prime, his shoulder sparking where it's arm used to be. All the others looked at him and the other, botless Kraang stood.

"Kraang report to Kraang about the turtle known as Donatello. Was the turtle known as Donatello with the ones known as the other turtles?" the larger alien asked.

"Negative. The turtle known as Donatello was not with the ones known as the other turtles."

There was a loud screech of anger before the conversation continued. "Does Kraang possess the knowledge as to where is the place that is the place where the turtle known as Donatello is in place of?"

"Kraang is lacking the knowledge of that place which is the place that the one known as Donatello is in that place of." Another loud screech.

"Kraang must find the turtle known as Donatello so that Kraang can complete what is known as Plan X." the large Kraang bellowed. "The plan known as Plan X can not be completed until the turtle known as Donatello is in the place which is the place that Kraang has designated as the place where Plan X is to be carried out. The turtle known as Donatello possesses the knowledge that Kraang lacks the knowledge of. This is the reason Kraang requires the turtle known as Donatello."

"Kraang posses that knowledge. Kraang has also knowledge of a plan known as the plan to capture the turtle known as Donatello." the shoulder stopped sparking then as another finished fixing it.

"This is known as good new! Kraang awaits the capture of the turtle known as Donatello."

~LRDM~

Mikey woke up, stretching his back until it popped. He rubbed the back of his neck as he thought about what Splinter had told him. Donnie was worrying. More then he should. While he understood why he knew it wasn't going to be long before he started to follow them outside of the lair to keep watch over them. Risking himself for their sake, it was just Donnie's way, Mikey knew that better then anyone because it was always Donnie who made him feel better. He once questioned why Donnie was the nicest to him even though their IQ's were the furthest apart, Donnie's reply would forever be engraved in to his memory.

"One." he said softly as he wrapped gauzes around his wound.

"One?" he asked questionably, unable to follow.

"Leo has three, Raph has two, I have one, you have none." he said smiling as he tied it off. "I have one younger brother, that's you Mikey. though you can be a pain in the shell like a brother is, I hold a special place in my heart for you because you are my only younger brother."

"Awww! I knew I was your favorite!" he said hugging him.

While he held three older brothers, Donnie was the best because he was the one who understood him most, the Kraang wanted him and he couldn't have that, if something happened to Donnie... He rose from his bed and made his way to the Dojo to be the first of his brothers to be there. Yet, much to his surprise, one of them was already there.

Said turtle was there, his bo in hand standing as silent as death in the light of the raising sun that shown through the Dojo. His eyes were closed, his breath still as he stood frozen like a statue. Mikey was about to speak to say something before brown eyes shot open, looking straight ahead in focus. The bo sang as the expert hands spun it at the imaginary enemy. Soft grunts were released as to let out the tension of each strike made. The precision perfect, notable for the hours perhaps days spent perfecting it. The force was strong, the angle flawless and the movements of the wielder so graceful.

Mikey loved to watch Donnie practice like this, where he was unaware of his presence and it made for a better show. Unlike the others, Donnie seemed to dance across the Dojo the bo taking lead as they danced flawlessly like the dancers on T.V. He watched half-amazed and half-jealous of how his brother was able to do the Katas so perfectly. Even with his speed and agility he was unable to match the perfection.

"He's been at it for a few hours now." Leo whispered, scaring his younger brother. "Something's bothering him, I know that much." he sighed as Donnie spun his staff and struck the punching dummy.

"I bet its because we didn't get home last night until late. I con only imagine how worried he was." Mikey replied, eyes looking on sadly at his immediate older brother. "It's only been a few days and it's taking it's toll. His stress has increased, look how tightly he's holding his bo." Where Mikey lacked maturity he made up for with the ability to read people. It was a useful tool when he played the part of the idiot and he did like that he could read almost anyone, shy and quite Donnie on the other hand was difficult, like trying to do Calculus where most people were basic math and at most algebra (yes Mikey could do basic algebra, Donnie taught him).

Leo nodded. He could see it too. Something changed in the past few hours to cause this, what he was not sure, but he would find out. There was no way Donnie would freak like this after one night. All he could think of was that he and Raph...he let out a heavy sigh. 'What the hell did you say to him?' he wondered. While he was more gifted with words, Raph was too brash for that. He never really thought about what he said and how it could be taken. He was too aggressive, too impatient. There was going to be a fight later.

Suddenly, Donnie stopped, his bo in front of him and aimed toward his brothers he had failed to notice walked in. He was far too caught up in his katas, his mind racing and thinking best with mindless movements of the body. It was the best way to think when one could not walk among the stars. Yet, when him movements forced him to face them, his brown eyes looking into theirs he froze. "Nani..." he whispered, wondering how long they were there watching. Blushing brightly and finding it embarrassing, thinking his katas were nothing like they should be, he stood straight up putting his staff between himself and them as he looked at the ground, imprinting the pattern into his mind like the world depended on it.

"Are you okay Donnie?" Mikey asked as he bounced over to him. He was worried, as he always was when his brothers were distressing.

"Hai. I'm fine just thinking." he said softly, still looking at the pattern and tracing it with his eyes.

Leo put his hand on his shoulder. "Honestly Donnie, if something is troubling you this much just tell us. We can help you, that's what brothers are for." He gave him a smile when brown eyes finally found him more interesting then the carpet.

Donnie said nothing. He couldn't tell them, he just couldn't. It would ruin everything that they had as brothers. To tell Leo that Mikey and Raph wanted him in the same way that he did, to tell Mikey of Leo and Raph, to tell Raph of Leo and Mikey none of it would end well. None of it. They would fight each other, hate each other and it would be his fault. It would all be his fault.

"Guys leave 'em alone." Raph said as he walked in the dojo. "Seriously, get'en something otta him is like try'en to break into Fort Knox." he gave his shy brother a smile but Donnie just turned away, looking back to the patterns on the floor. That pissed him off, but he had to calm himself. "Chill Donnie."

Gray eyes narrowed as they watched the other. Leo could feel Donnie tense up as Raph entered the room. He could see the avoidance and wanting to leave. This enraged Leo but he dare not show it. He was defensive of his chosen mate and he would get to the bottom of it if it killed him.

"How surprising to see you all up and ready." Splinter said, watching his sons closely. Though he did not know for sure what was going on, he knew enough to take a well educated guess at it. "Now, before we begin, Donatello." said turtle jumped and stepped forward. "You have been practicing all morning am I correct?" he asked and was given a nod. "Good, then you would not mind showing us how you have improved by facing Leonardo."

~/-*-\~

Donnie lay there under his eldest brother the swords on both sides of his head. His bo lay in two pieces off to the side of them, cut perfectly by the ninjato blades. Gray eyes stared into brown, locking in and searching them. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that their clever brother was half-hearted into the match. It was hard to watch, all he did was dodge and avoid, not once attacking.

Raph sat by, as calmly as he could, and watched as their leader, the fearless ideal son beat the hell out of their gentle brother. Anger rippled though him, his emerald eyes narrowed and his hands balled on his legs. He knew Donnie wasn't into it, that he couldn't keep up because of what he did. Raph wanted nothing more then to step in and stop the one sided fight. Yet, to do so he would have to explain that he had asked their brother to be his mate, that he had forced a kiss on him. He tightened his jaw as Leo sent a kick to Donnie's head knocking him to the ground.

"Yame!" Splinter stood up and shook his head. "Donatello." Said turtle moved before him, head bowed and his face slightly bruised. "I though I have told you to not allow your opponent to gain the chance to strike a fatal blow." he stroked his beard, and looked at him. His purple banded son kept his head down, his eyes looking toward his brothers and to Leo who looked at him with concern.

Leo had not meant to hurt him nor show him up. He had simply tried to get Donnie to fight back, to attack him instead of dodging alone. He never meant to kick him in the face, the move was so easy to counter or avoid he had thought his brother would have. He never meant to hurt him despite the glare Raph was giving him.

"Answer me my son, why do you still refuse to fight your enemy?" he asked. While he had said earlier that Donatello was commendable for it, he did not want that to be the only thing he did. It was a problem needing to be worked out and he would get to the bottom of it.

"Forgive me master, but Leo is not my enemy." he whispered softly. "Nor is Raph or Mikey or you." he kept his head low, respectful of his master and his teachings. "I can not bring myself to fight my brothers, even in practice."

Splinter narrowed his eyes at his son. "The three of you are dismissed. Donatello and I have much to discuss." he said firmly, leaving no room for argument. The others stood slowly, waiting a moment before reluctantly leaving. He waited a moment before twitching his ear. "I know you can hear me, do you wish for a round of Rondori after this discussion?" he asked. Three pairs of feet echoed in the lair. His eyes turned back to his son.

"Donatello, you do remember what I had said the other day correct."

"Hai, sensei."

He slowly circled him. "Then you know that with the knowledge of an enemies ability to take control of your brothers that they too can and will be your enemy, correct?"

"Hai, sensei."

He stopped and sighed. "What will you do when they give you a chance to end it?"

"I would withdraw and search for a better solution, violence is not the answer." His voice was low.

"You are ninja, my son. Though I have thought you violence is not the key it is necessary to use it when it is appropriate."

Donatello looked up at his master. his eyes large and chocolate brown, reminding him of his beloved Tang Shen. "I understand, but I would not take the fatal blow against my brothers."

"What if they were willing to kill you?"

A sad smile crossed his lips. "Then that is my end."

Another sigh. "You would let your blood stain their hands before fighting back? You would let them carry that burden until death?"

The young turtle shook his head. "No, I would let them know it was my choice to die so they could live. I made that choice not them, so the guilt would not rest with them but me."

"My son, you fail to see the lesson I am trying to convey to you. Live is a precious gift, do not give it up without a fight." he sighed heavily. "You are kind hearted, too much so that I fear for you. After all, those who care the least once cared the most."

He was taken back by this. Did sensei say that because of his love, he may cease to care for his brothers one day? How could that be? How many hours haves he slaved away in his lab all night to make their lives better? How many times had he fixed Mikey's game system, mended Leo's swords and patched Raph up? How could he ever stop loving his brothers, even for a moment? "There is no way I could stop loving them, not even if they broke my heart I could never hate them." He stood then and bowed his head. "I'm sorry master, but I have work to be done, winter is coming and we need the heaters ready." Yes, the heaters needed to be repaired.

With that he walked from the Dojo just as April was walking in. He gave her a shy smile and bowed his head. "Hey."

"Hey, you. How are you feeling?" she asked, her face full of concern. She fully regretted their arguments after her father was mutated. How she hated them so much, Donnie especially. He was the one who always made things better, the one who prevented bad things from happening to her. When her father was mutated...he had failed her. She lost her reassurance and that hurt.

"I'm fine, I can manage with the millions of things I need to fix." He said softly, his brown eyes looking at her with hope. "Worst thing is worrying." he said looking out at his brothers who were chatting with Casey over the pizza they brought. "Is the money enough? If not I could always work more and..."

She placed her hand on his. "It's enough Donnie. The apartment is fine, I'm eating, your brothers have food but you..." she looked him up and down before frowning. "You're not eating enough." she worried for him.

He smiled brightly, showing off that gap tooth of his. "I have enough, trust me." he said hoping to appease her. "Besides, how's Casey? It's been what a month now?" he asked shifting the conversation.

"A month and two days actually. " she giggled and blushed. "Some girls at school are jealous. They even dyed their hair red to get his attention!" she could always count on Donnie to make her smile. After all he was he best friend. "Oh! Guess what!" she asked excitedly.

"You're dumping Casey and marrying Bigfoot?" he said joking as he walked toward his lab instead of toward the kitchen.. This did not go unnoticed.

April gave him a playful smack. "No! I found some mutagen! I found it in an alley on my way over!" she said excitedly. "It's a full vial so you have plenty to work with." she opened her bag and set it in his hand. She watched as he examined the container and smiled. "Hopefully, I can have my dad back soon."

He gave her a reassuring smile and opened his lab door. "I know you will." he said as he held his hand up so Timothy could see. "Look, April brought us a gift."

"Don...nie...make...cure." he said softy at first. "Don...nie...cure!"

April put her hands on her hips. "You need to relax. It's your fault you're like that. Donnie tried to warn you but you didn't listen!" she frowned. "Leave him be! He needs some time to rest you know!"

"A...pril...mean!"

"Timothy mean!"

Donnie sighed. "Come on April, he's having a hard time."

She turned to look at him with concerned eyes. "But Donnie, it isn't right to..."

He placed his large hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, I'll be fine. Besides, I got a lot to do today anyway and so do you and Casey."

She smacked her head and groaned. "We're suppose to train with sensei! We are soooooo late!" she said running from the room and grabbing Casey. "No time!" She said when Raph tried to speak. Sensei was not patient when it came to tardiness of his students.

Donnie just laughed as he turned back to his lab only to come face to face with his younger brother. Mikey was looking at him with a stern look unbefitting of him. "Bro, don't make me say it." he warned. Donnie knew what he meant, his eyes narrowing. "Don't make me use my awesome-fu on you." he did a quick kata to express his point.

"Okay okay I'm going, you're too awesome for me to fight, I have no hope of beating you master of awesome-fu." He said throwing his hands up in surrender and walked toward the kitchen. "I was only going to do one or two things before..."

Mikey jabbed him with the nunchuk. "No talk, just eat." he said throwing a slice in front of him. "Better yet..." he tossed on two more. "It's your favorite."

"No, this is Casey's favorite." he said smiling as he took a bite. God was pizza always this good? He shrugged and took another bite. It was then he realized how starved he was. He tried to remember when he ate last and found it harder then he thought. Just how long ago was it?

"Told ya." he heard Raph say as he placed his hand on Donnie's shoulder. He instantly tensed, recalling what had happened the night before. The slice in his hand, half eaten, slid and fell on the plate as Donnie tried to block out the memory. 'Raph wasn't in his right mind...' he told himself.

'Raph wasn't in his right mind.' he chanted like a prayer.

Once more Leo picked up on the tension between his middle brothers. Something was going on, he had to know what it was that Raph had done to upset his mate. Though Donnie did not decide yet, he had already had the feeling of his answer. After all, he was the best. He was skilled beyond them, he was practically a mini Splinter and being leader helped alot. There was no reason he could think of that Donnie would say no to. He was obviously the best choice, he had more to offer him then anyone else.

Though he would never admit it, he was jealous of Donnie's affection toward April. He knew it would never work between them, that April being a human (somewhat anyway) and Donnie being well a mutant turtle things would never last. He couldn't give April the life she deserved, because he was a mutant, he could never see the light of day and stand among the humans as an equal. So when Donnie finally decided to let her go, he was a little too happy about it and it felt morally wrong but his heart was so elated.

Auburn eyes looked around before he moved from his brother's grasp. "Sorry...I..I have things to do, with that new mutagen...I..." he backed away, refusing to look at his immediate elder brother. Why couldn't he bring himself to look at his brother? It was just Raphael, his hot tempered, over protective elder brother he had known all his life, right?

He backed away holding himself tightly, the returning feeling of the night's events coming back ten fold as it replayed in his head as if stuck on an endless loop. "We need ya Donnie." warm lips pressed against his own, dominating him and refusing to let him go. He could feel the want, the need, the utter lust behind it but also the love and raw passion behind it as well. "What the fuck Donnie?!" He could see the rage, see the anger yet also the hurt, the heartbreak behind the rage and the inability to process his emotions. He wanted to understand. He truly did. "I..I can't help it any more. All I do is thinka you. Day and night, night 'en day...I'm go'en nutz Donnie." He was desperate to please, to try and make his point, to show that all his words uttered until then were true and pure. Donnie could see that, all of it in Raph's actions and that's not what he feared. No, he, Hamato Donatello, was afraid of the others knowing. Afraid that they would be hurt and angry and that he, Hamato Donatello, would drive a wedge between the brothers he would give his world for.

"What the hell Raphael! What did you do to him?!" Leo barked, demanding an answer to the question. The other tsked, rolled his eyes and moved toward their younger brother, toward HIS mate. A low growl emitted from his chest. He moved between them, blocking the opposing male from his distraught mate.

"Back off Leo, this doesn't concern ya!" Emerald eyes narrowed darkly as his path was blocked. How dare he get in between him and his beloved! What right did he have? "I ain't done noth'en wrong!" he growled, sizing up to the elder male.

Leo pointed to his mate. "You were the last with him before this happened! What the hell happened Raphael?! This isn't like him!" his hand twitched, wanting to grab the Ninjato's on his back.

Raph balled his fist, wanting to beat the shit out of the bastard blocking his path. "It. Don't. Concern. Ya." He breath out, stressing each word. His temper was teetering on a dangerous level. God how he wanted to rip the prick's throat out!

"It does concern me! He's my brother..."

"And what am I chopped liva?" Raph ran for Donnie, ducking down to avoid Leo's arm. He made it past, moving toward his distracted brother when something made him stop.

Leo yanked him back by the shell, throwing him down to the ground. "STAY AWAY FROM MY MATE!" he growled, pointing his ninjato at the opposing male as a warning, much like a wolf bares his teeth.

Raph stared blankly at him, trying to process his words. Mate? Donnie was already mated to Leo? No...that's not right. Donnie had said that once mated they smell like one another, claim by scent, and Donnie sure as hell didn't smell like Leo! Leo was lying, he had to be. "You're mate?! He's mine! I kissed him last night! He's mine to claim!" He jumped up and drew his sai's.

Never had Leo experienced this much rage before in his life. His eyes turned white, all other things blocked out as Raph taunted him. Telling him that he claimed Donnie's virgin lips. How many nights were plagued by the very thought of those olive green lips? He grit his teeth, Raph didn't deserve that honor! Raph didn't deserve kind, sweet, understanding, intelligent Donnie! He ran at him, his ninjatos against twin sais.

Raph swung at him, missing his face by mere centimeters. His eyes narrowed as he ducked just in time to avoid the sharp blades. He spun on his shell, kicking off the wall and went for Leo's legs. The elder jumped spinning in the air and landing with his blades to Raph's neck. The other growled, dropping down and pivoting on his hands to send a kick straight into his jaw. Leo stumbled back, his eyes narrowed and saw the smirk on the other's face. He let out a roar and ran toward him.

Both males ran at each other, intent to kill in their eyes neither backing down until the ground was stained red.

"STOP!" A yell was heard, but their reactions too late as sais and ninjato clashed against a third shell, flesh ripping and blood splattered to the ground. Neither could understand it, how the olive skinned turtle had managed to move so quickly and why it was his blood that stained the ground.

"DONNIE!"


	6. Rivals

Both Raph and Leo were stunned, their bodies frozen where they stood. Neither dared to move, dared to react as their minds processed what had happened. There, between them stood the object of their hate, their pure anger toward one another. Between them stood Donatello, the intelligent and kind brother, standing there with a broom in his hands.

The upper half of the broom held the ninjatos at bay, keeping them from Raph's head by embedding them in the wood. It was sad to say that his olive green arm was not spared and was bleeding badly.

The lower half of the broom was fending off the sais that would have come up and struck Leo's heart. Those found their way into the upper thigh of the defender of the group, those bleeding as well.

Donatello didn't need to look at them, their actions alone proved that they were understanding what was going on and what they had done wrong. He flexed his wrist, shifting the broom so that the ninjatos and the sais were pulled from his body in one quick and swift action. He stood there as his brothers backed away. His stoic form just standing, the broom in his hand. Blood slowly ran down the length of his arm and to his finger tips where they pooled slightly before dripping to the floor. Slowly, his eyes opened, turning and looking sadly from one brother to the other. The only look he held was self loathing. He had done this.

"D!" the worrisome voice of his younger brother broke the trance that had captured the three brothers. He jumped from the balcony where the rooms lay down to the kitchen comic book in hand, the very reason he had left. "Dude what happened?!" he asked as he looked at the wounds his brother held, then to the weapons that his elder brothers just stared at, both sets stained in blood. His eyes narrowed darkly. "What the fuck is going on?" he yelled, defensive of his kind hearted brother.

"Language Mikey." Donnie spoke softly. "Relax, just some training gone wrong." he didn't want Mikey to get overly concerned. He needed one brother to remain the same, to stay the innocent younger brother that he needed right now. "I wasn't quick enough."

"Bull roar! If it was training you'd be in the dojo." he eyes Raph, knowing it may have been him who initiated a fight between Leo and once again Donnie was caught in the middle. It happened before, when the fights were really bad and got physical. Donnie would step between them, take the hit and just blow it off like nothing. The simple fact that they had hurt their innocent brother was enough to make them stop their stupid argument and get over whatever it was to begin with. Yet, this time it seemed weapons were involved, meaning it was something worse then anything else.

"Don't lie to me D! I ain't no kid any more so stop trying to protect me!" he snapped at his brother when he went to speak. He didn't want to be seen as a weak and helpless child, not if he was to prove himself as a mate. Donnie had to know that Mikey could protect him, could be there for him should he chose to be his mate. He didn't back down as he looked at his brother sternly, wanting the truth.

The purple banded turtle opened his mouth as if to speak but shut it just as suddenly. There was nothing he could say to that, nothing he could do to help out. He said nothing as he shook his head sadly. He was at a loss. No one cared about what they used to be. The competition was there now, the secret known. They will do what ever they could to best the others, to win his affections and his choice as a mate. This is what Donnie did not want, why he had not spoken of their confessions.

Leo took a step forward. "It would seem that both Raphael and I had the same plans for mating season." he began, head held high and glaring at said aggressive turtle from the corner of his eyes. "Both of us thought to ask Donnie as our mate."

Donatello noted the familiar way he spoke his name and how he addressed Raph formally by speaking his full name. Leo was distancing himself from Raph, from his rival. He winced slightly from the pain in his thigh when he tried to walk.

"Seriously?!" Mikey's voice rolled off the stone walls. "That makes three then." he stood glaring at his brothers, no his rivals for the affections of his beloved. Donnie meant too much to him to let them have him. Leo was too self entitled, his words were to be laws and he didn't care much for Donnie's inventions. Raph was too rough with his gentle brother, always trying to instigate fights when Leo wasn't around and he cared not to even listen to what Donnie was saying.

Emerald glared into Silver and Baby Blue, Silver glared into Emerald and Baby Blue, Baby Blue glared into Silver and Emerald, all while rusty brown looked on.

"Oh yeh? Well if it ain't the bebe of da family! What makes ya think ya can hold up ta us?! This ain't no kid's game Mikey!" Raph pointed his sai at him. "This ain't worth ya time."

"I'm not a baby! I'm a little younger then you, ten seconds tops!" his glare hardened. He really hated it when they treated him like a child, like he was clueless.

"Enough." Donnie raised his voice slightly, everyone looked to him then. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I am not going to do this, I am not going to have you guys fighting over me and acting like I'm some prize to be won." he took a step back and looked at them pitifully. "I don't want to be the cause of all this..."

Leo shrugged. "Either way Donatello, you said yourself we have no control over this, that you called us...what was it Alpha males?" he turned to Raph who reluctantly nodded. "And you said yourself that male Alphas would fight one another like we did last mating season. That was, unless we found a mate. Yet, as you said we would not find another Alpha a suitable mate. We know that Raphael and I are such, and by the looks of it so is Michelangelo. There fore, the only conclusion is that the only turtle that is considered a suitable mate for us is you. You are the only one not lusting for anyone. Donnie you're going to have to chose one of us before mating season, it's the only way."

"What about the others? If I pick one of you then what of the other two? I'm not as willing to hurt the others like three seem to be." He sighed and turned toward his lab. "I'm not doing this."

"Donnie-boy, listen ta me..." Raph stepped forward. "Either way ya gonna have ta chose. Know'en now that each of us is after ya..." he narrowed his eyes. "Mate'en season is gonna be dangerous for us, ya most of all! Who knows what we're capable of? Donnie ya gonna have ta, for us."

Donnie stood there, thinking it over. Maybe Raph had a point. Maybe not. He wasn't sure. Nothing was certain, not when it came to them. Everything was just an experiment. Perhaps the key to ending the fighting during mating season was to chose... He turned back to them, noting the hopeful looks in their eyes. He couldn't look at them, knowing what those looks meant. This was important to them. Far more them learning new ninjitsu skills from master Splinter. So, before he knew it, he spoke the words that would seal his fate. "I will need time to decide."

~LRDM~

He finished the taping of his bandages. His mind running over those six words that he regretted so much. What was he to do? Who was he to chose?

Mikey was childish, rarely taking things seriously. His jokes were witty and his battle cry creative. That's what he had to say of him, that he was creative. Mikey wasn't a fool, he wasn't as stupid as most would believe him to be. The baby of the family had such hope, such kindness for the world they live in. He was quite intelligent, Donnie knew that because he had sat there and taught him. Just on the off chance something happened to him, Mikey needed to take his place as the family doctor.

Raph was brash, crude, and frankly rude as hell. Yet, he was also gentle and caring when he wanted to be. Raph was only pushing them hard because he wanted them to be the best they could. To be able to defend themselves. He knew he wouldn't always be there to protect them, that was why he drove them on, yelling at them, berating them. It was just Raph's way. That is why Donnie took the time to teach Raph how to weld, how to fix machines and use his computer for security and the safety of his brothers. Should anything happen to him, Raph knew how to use the computer and Metalhead could guide and help him.

Leo was so caught up in his image, so caught up in being the glorious leader that their father wanted him to be that he often times forgot about how to be a teenager. Though, he was also worried for them and their well being. His heart was so lost to worry and grief that it was amazing how he was able to roll out of bed in the mornings. The only way he could function was with Donnie there to guide him. That was why he taught the eldest brother to be compassionate, to be understanding of the other two and not to place the burden of their lives alone. If something were to happen to him, Leo was to be the heart of the family.

He held his throbbing arm and sighed. Who in the world would he chose? What in the world was he to do? Standing up slowly. He walked as best he could into the kitchen to finish up the cleaning. His blood still stained the floor and was starting to dry up. He had to clean it. Drench it in bleach so that their master would not smell it. When he got there, it was already cleaned. His eyes turned to look at his youngest brother. "Otooto..." he whispered. Mikey just smiled as he set the mop aside.

"Donnie, I'm sorry I snapped...It's just...since I confesses to you...I thought you wouldn't take me seriously. I...I wanted to show you I can be serious bro. I'm not a kid and I can take care of you." he looked his brother in the eyes. "I love ya Don. Not like brotherly love, no it's the love April and Casey have." His smile faded. "Tell me bro, do I stand a chance? I mean, look at me." he gestured to his entire self. "I'm childish, I'm ignorant...I cant hold a candle to those two and Raph is right, I'm probably wasting my time with this..."

Donatello was taken back by this. Mikey was afraid that he didn't have a chance? Between the others, Donnie could see why he would feel like that, hell if the rolls were reversed he would have thought the same. Yet, that is neither here nor there and Mikey look like he seriously thought he had not even crossed his mind. Mikey, he was close to him, closer then the others. When Raph and Leo fight, it's him who takes Mikey aside and reassures him. When they get split up, the so called B-Team end up making up games while on patrol. It made the task easer to bare.

The purple clad turtle smiled at his brother. He did not like this, how his confident brother just recoiled like this. How he thought himself unworthy of him? No, this didn't sit well with Donatello. He wanted his Mikey back, the confident, fun loving goofball that he adored so. "Mikey, I'm considering you all. And what ever you do Otooto-kun, just remember to never let anyone or anything change who you are. I don't like you like this, it isn't you. You're too confident and cheery to be like that."

Mikey gave him a big hug. "That's why I love you so much D." With a goofy grin on his face, the orange ninja bounced his way to the t.v to catch up on some of his games. It had taken the techy turtle weeks to repair the X-box but it had made an awesome gift on their birthday. Raph had gotten the stealth-cycle and Leo had received a new training dummy made to attack back, needless to say it is on his to repair list.

A cold shiver ran down his spine. It was getting colder down here. The heaters needed to be fixed soon. He wasted no time to as he made his way to his lab to collect the necessary tools. This would take up most of his day and push back his retromutagen experiments but it would be worth it. Making his way to the first heater, one of three, which lay in the Dojo he found that the task would be harder now that he was injured. He just shrugged it off and continued to go about his business as if nothing happened. As if his brothers did not just force him into this.

He let all other thoughts leave him and just decided to focus on how to repair the heaters. Mikey had them over heated last year, complaining it was too cold. Yet, Donnie had taken a closer look at their brother to find he had a high fever. He spent the better part of two weeks nursing him back to health and forcing him to drink Sensei's green tea. They didn't finally die until the end of winter, since then he had wanted to repair them but sad to say that it had to be put off. After all, it was this year they went to the surface for the first time, they meet the Shredder, he fell in love with April, he let her go to Casey, Slash was created...by him and so much more.

His arm spasmed and he lost his grip on the wrench. He clutched his arm and hoped that it would stop soon. There wasn't any nerve damage and it wasn't that deep but still it hurt like hell. He let out a sigh as it ended, shaking his head at his own stupidity. "I should have done this sooner..." he grumbled.

"Yeah, you should have." The voice made him jump, nearly falling off the ladder until said owner of voice steadied him. "Guess I should have thought that through. But then again that's your thing isn't it?" Leo asked as he handed him back the wrench, his eyes fixated on the wound to his arm, the one that he had caused. He was beating himself up for caring so much more about mating then the harm he had done to his intended. Yet, being so close to the other two...rivals? Was that a good word? Yes, the other rivals that he could not think straight. It upset him to no end, because as the Leader he should know better. He should have known better!

"Says the turtle who asked me to fix the stove so he could make green tea. That took a week tops because the parts were so hard to find." He continued his work without saying anything else. There was too much to do then to continue with idle chatter.

Leo sat on his legs below him, his eyes focused on his hands. The hands that had turned weapons upon his brothers and the innocent one was hurt. "I should have known better..." he muttered.

The sound of one tool being put away as another was picked up rang out in the silence of the Dojo. "It's not your fault. Your mind, like ours, is taking a primal turn for the worst. Truth be told, you guys are right. I need to decide what I'm going to do. If you are like this outside of mating season, then I don't want to know what will happen once we reach that month." he frowned when he saw how disorganized his tool box had become. "If I am the only one here who isn't...going out of my mind, I will be at a disadvantage. Your strength is increasing, your senses are heightened...if I am the object of your lust, you will stop at nothing until I am yours. It's how mating season works." he stopped and looked to his brother. "But...that's not why you came in here is it Aniki-san." Yes, he could read Leo well enough.

Aniki-san...Donnie only called him that when he was afraid or when he wanted him to tell the truth. As rare as it was. His eyes narrowed slightly, he really hated how intelligent his brother was. How he was able to read him as well as his father. "No...you're right Donnie. I came for another reason." He stood up and looked his brother in the eyes. "Why did you let Raph kiss you?"


	7. Message

Donnie didn't say a word as he continued his work. He wasn't in the mood for Leo's jealousy and need to be over controlling of him and his brothers. Though Mikey and Raph usually didn't listen to Leo often enough, challenging him at every turn, it was Donnie who listened, obeyed his brother and talked the others into listening for the sake of their leader. At several turns there was darkness in their leader's eyes. Donnie could see it, how Leo was getting a bit more aggressive when he attacked their enemies. How they drove from him to face the staff wielder. Donnie wouldn't admit to it, but Leo was starting to slip under the stress of his leadership and that scared him.

He recalled the times Leo had come to him when they were younger, crying because of his nightmare. Always of him losing the family and to a six year old that was horrifying. He had said he didn't want Raph to see him, that he would laugh in his face because Leo was afraid and that Mikey would tease him. He had hid in the sewers crying his eyes out when Donnie had found him. He was half expected to be teased by their intelligent brother, to be called a crybaby and ridiculed. Yet, all he received was a soft smile and a gentle hug. Since then Leo would wake Donnie up when he had a nightmare only to talk. Thus, became the start of Donnie's inability to sleep.

The roar of the heater starting brought a smile to his face as he could feel the heat beginning to radiate in the room. He moved his eyes to the pile of tools setting to organize them. He would need them for the next heater and it was already late. Climbing down from the ladder he moved toward the main lair where the second heater was. That one was going to be hell to fix. It needed the new part that he had scavenged from the junk yard the day he was nearly captured.

"Donnie, I asked you a question." Leo narrowed his eyes when his brother just went to move on, ignoring him. No, this wasn't going to happen, he just wasn't going to be ignored by his intended. When he was chosen he was going to be sure to fix that. "Donnie!" he grabbed his arm and spun him around, slamming him into the wall of the Dojo. A soft grunt escaped him. Leo pressed his body against his younger brother's, his hot breath on the purple clad turtle's ear slit. "I have asked you a question, I expect my subordinate to obey his leader." he took a deep breath, relishing in the scent of his younger brother. He moved his free hand down the olive skinned cheek, ignoring the hurt look that his intended was giving him. "So beautiful...not even a single scar..."

"Leonardo..." Don could see that his eldest brother was stressing, that he was afraid that he would lose him to one of the others and that he was terrified. He wanted him, wanted to be loved by him as much as he loved him. But, Donnie wasn't sure if he was able to love any of them like that. Not so soon after letting go of April. He still loved her, cared for her and valued her opinion above everyone else's. She was still so beautiful in his eyes, an angel so perfect that no one could compare to her. The way she laughed when he whistled though his gap, the way she would smile when she got a Kata right, her victory dance when she was able to put Raph on his ass. He remembered the day he told Casey that he had given up, how he was okay that they could date and he wouldn't mind so long as she was happy. Casey was unsure. He enjoyed the friendly rivalry for her affections but still, they were friends and it just didn't seem right to do that to him. Yet, once again Donnie was able to convince him that it was okay. He still loved her so much, but he had to let her go, to ensure her own happiness above his own. She deserved to bask in the sun shine, while he was confine to the shadows. Yet, this was not the time to dwell on such matters for that would not matter now.

Leo's grip tightened as he moved his free hand down his brother's plastron. Feeling the texture of his shell, finding it to be just as smooth as his skin, save the small scratches from where blades had scraped into it. They were small enough that one could barely notice them. He knew he was stronger then Donnie, knew he could over power him physically, mentally and even through their rank. Leo was the leader, the eldest brother and he deserved some happiness. All the shit he put up with, the fights with Raph, the inability to control Mikey's endless energy...that's why he needed Don. He needed him to help with the others. Needed him to calm Raph down like only Donnie could. He needed him to focus Mikey's energy such as only Donnie could. That was why Don was his second in command, his right hand and the only other he trusted other then Splinter and he wasn't going to lose him to Raph or Mikey. No Donnie was his and his alone.

He laid his head on the taller turtle's shoulder and sighed. "Did you enjoy it? The kiss he gave you?" he moved again when his brother said nothing. He looked on noticing that his brother was looking away, refusing to meet his gaze. No he wouldn't have that, not now not ever. He roughly gripped his chin and forced him to look at him. To show him those large rusty brown eyes that held so much kindness, so much intelligence, so much love for the world that would only reject him. "Watashi wo mitekudasai." he said softly. He had asked nicely, formally. He of course was ignored. This did not sit well with him. He was the leader and he was to be obeyed. "Watashi wo mite!" this time it was an order, he even went as far as to press his body closer to him.

Donnie never disobeyed a direct order. Now was no different. Rusty brown eyes slowly turned to him. There was so much confusion and uncertainty in his eyes. So much sorrow and heart break for one so innocent and pure. Donnie could handle anything, from bombs to high tech security system, but when it came to issues of the heart he was lost. "Aishiteru...Otooto-kun..." he said softly, watching as his brother's bottom lip quaked under the fear.

"Aniki..." he could feel the hot breath of the other ghost across his lips. Fear and confusion winning out once more as he tried to make sense of this. It's wasn't Leo's fault, it wasn't him, it wasn't him. His brother was out of his mind, driven by the increase of testosterone pumping through his body due to his sexual maturity and drive to continue his bloodline through any means. It was nature's design, it's way to ensure the survival of each species in the world. Donnie understood that. He knew that their only real purpose on this world was to breed. Yet, his mind was still rational, unlike his brother's. The more the days went by and the more the others got closer to him, the more anger and rivalry they felt. Donnie was the prize though he could not say how or why. "Aniki..."

Leo could hold out no longer, his lips crashed against the other's, claiming him and forcing out Raph's scent and taste with his own. Kami-sama be praised! His Otooto was so perfect, so sweet and warm.

Donnie went to push him away, to tell him that this was wrong and that none of this was right if he was to make a fair decision. Yet, once Leo growled all attempts were halted. Something inside, deep with in Donnie had told him to obey or face the consequences. But this was Leo, this was his brother who would never intentionally hurt him...right? He tried to disobey the feelings, but it didn't work, he was frozen in place until something truly terrifying happened.

No longer able to contain his excitement, the dominant turtle moved the other to the ground. He would not be satified with just a kiss. No he wanted more, needed more. Positioning him on all fours, ready and waiting for him. He heard a low curr as he tried to stand, he was only pushed back down, another body pressed against his own. "Anata wa watashi no yuiitsu munidearu, Watashi wa setsubōtsu dake ga, yuiitsu no watashi wa watashi no chīmumeito o motsu koto ni narimasu." his hand moved down, ghosting between his thighs spreading them apart in order to get better access to him. "Watashi wa kyōsei-teki ni motte iru baai demo, anata wa watashi o aishite iru..." he positioned himself, ignoring his brother's cries for him to stop, for him to reconsider and let him go. "Anata wa watashi no mono ni narimasu." he thrust in, ripping a scream from his once silent brother's lips.

~LRDM~

Leo let out a scream as he sat up in his bed. His breathing was heavy and his heart beat so rapidly in his chest that it hurt. His hands shook as he looked around the room. It was his room, he was safe, Donnie was safe. It was just a nightmare. He closed his eyes.

" Anata wa watashi no yuiitsu munidearu, Watashi wa setsubōtsu dake ga, yuiitsu no watashi wa watashi no chīmumeito o motsu koto ni narimasu."

"You are my one and only. The only one I will take as my mate." the words replayed in his head.

" Watashi wa kyōsei-teki ni motte iru baai demo, anata wa watashi o aishite iru..."

"One way or another i will have you..."

"Anata wa watashi no mono ni narimasu."

"Even if I have to force you." Tears streamed down his face. Was he truly willing to force himself on Donnie just to so the others couldn't have him? Or was it out of pure love and not his hormones flying out of whack? He couldn't be sure but he knew something had to be done. Donnie needed to make his decision fast or else one of them would end up...he dare not use that word when he thought of his kind hearted brother.

A knock at his door only stressed him out more. Raph had most likely heard him scream and as a result wanted to poke fun at him and berate him. He was in no mood for that and was about to tell his brother to politely go away when the door opened to reveal the one turtle he wished would not have come. At the door stood a very concerned Donatello holding a hot cup of green tea.

"I heard you crying out. I figured that you would need this when you woke up." he said softly a warm smile on his face. "Was it the nightmare about Shredder again?" he asked as he moved to his elder brother, tea cup in hand. "Or were you reliving the fungus scenario?" He sat beside him, holding out the cup.

Leo looked at his brother, unsure if he should tell him the truth or not. What would he think of him dreaming about such things? How would that look in his brother's eyes? No, he could not tell him the truth, Donnie didn't need to know Leo was having raping dreams about him. He rubbed his arm and looked at the cup in his hands. "I smell lemon..." he whispered.

"Lemon to calm your nerves, the tea to calm your spirit." he placed it in his elder brother's hands and gave him a small smile. "Wanna talk about it?" he asked. Leo needed to talk things through, to understand and confirm what he truly needed in his life and to help them in theirs.

He looked to Donnie, looked at his deep brown eyes and gulped. Why was he imagining him pinned to his bed, belt hanging off his shoulder, face twisted in pleasure as he screamed his name? His eyes turned away. He couldn't force him. He wouldn't force a bond. This was Donnie, his beloved brother.

"It's about me isn't it? About mating season?" his voice was so eerily calm.

Leo shot his eyes to him, examining his brother's face only to find it as unreadable as a Noh mask. It scared the hell out of him, just how smart his brother was. "Nani?"

Donnie's red brown eyes looked into his, emotionlessly. "If we were still turtles, before the mutation, as we grew and got older and our bodies matured we would seek relief in what we had around us. It is not uncommon for turtles, for most species outside of humans, to be okay with incest. If it's what there was, then life will find away. Male turtles have been known to mate with other males, no different from fireflies attracting one another with their lights." He looked down at his hands. "Even so, if your fear is that they will force this on me, that Raph will take control and force me to mate..." he looked him in the eyes again, with those horrifyingly calm reddish brown eyes. "Or perhaps it is that you fear what you yourself will do, then don't worry about me. It is common, it is needed, it is nature, it is life for us. We may live as humans, we may pretend we are and forget about being turtles by emerging ourselves in their culture and civilized thinking but in the end Leo, we were simply four silly little turtles." He stood up then and headed toward the door. "I maybe the smartest of us but Leo," he looked back one last time. "I know that this is nature taking hold of us. I would not blame any of you for what may happen. I could never hate any of you, it's not in me to do so. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, that I am accepting of what may come, but it is what you needed to hear. Try as we may to forget and pretend to be humans, each spring comes a harsh reminder of what we really are. So don't blame anyone for their actions. Now is where our bond as brothers is needed most."

Leo sat there, dumbfounded by his brother's words and acceptance of his fate...

~LRDM~

Donatello silently worked on the heater just outside of the lair where the Shellraiser was parked. This was the last heater and it was well past 4 am. It has been three hours ago that he had heard Leo's cries. He picked up a wrench and set to finish what he had started. As much as he hated the idea of giving in and accepting his fate he knew he had to. If his brothers were to do something they would regret it was up to Donnie to be sure they knew it wasn't their fault. That he would never blame them for nature and her sick jokes. No, he knew it would drive them down into a darkness he dare not tread.

Yet, the idea of a possible forced mating was horrifying to say the least, add on that they are the three you grew up with and known all your life, called your brothers...his stomach turned at the thought. Either way he would have to be strong for them. They couldn't control it he knew that, he could see that.

"Raph! Mikey! Come on!" Leo's voice broke the silence of the lair. Donnie climbed down from the ladder and moved to the main entrance near the turnstile. He watched as his brothers ran for the dojo, most likely to collect their weapons. Donnie just stood there, knowing that he couldn't go with them. That he couldn't help them. He was useless, utterly and ridiculously useless.

They came out, weapons at the ready. "Donnie, there's another Kraang attack, this time at a sports store. April says they are taking a bunch of canisters out." Leo said quickly informing him of what they were headed to do. "Any ideas as to why?"

"If the Kraang want them then it's not good." he said softly, knowing they were after the Co2 containers for a possible bomb. "Try not to break them, they are dangerous." he warned.

Yet, something didn't feel right. Something deep down told him not to let the go, to keep them near him. Something bad was going to happen and he feared he would never see them again. "Guys wait!" they halted. "Please, something isn't right...Don't go. Co2...it seems too low even for the Kraang. Guys please listen to me and stay here."

"Relax Donnie, we can handle this." Leo gave his leader smile.

Mikey gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Check it bro, we'll be back before breakfast!"

"Chill Donnie-boy, we'll beat 'em to a bloody pulp." With that he watched as they left, leaving him behind once again to worry. This time, with a menacing feeling as well.

~LRDM~

It was an hour later when he was working in his lab to try and reorganize his notes that his fears were realized. The Kraang communication orb lit up, indicating a message. Slowly, fearfully he picked it up and held his breath.

A Kraang droid appeared before him in a small hologram.

"To the turtle known as Donatello Kraang sends what is known as a message. The turtle know as Donatello is required by Kraang to do the thing known as surrender. If the turtle known as Donatello refuses Kraang, Kraang will have no choice but to do what is known as eliminate the other turtles." The image cut out for a moment before he saw his brothers bound, beaten and screaming at him.

"Donnie stay home! Don't worry about us!"

"Dude they totally aren't gonna do it!"

"Donnie-boy, if yous so much as thinka com'en here you are in a world of hurt!"

He held the ball tighter as he watched them pistol whip Raph. "You have what is known as one earth hour to comply or we will start with the turtle known as Michelangelo." He heard the shouts from his brother before it cut out.

His choice did not need to be mulled over nor thought through. He knew what he had to do. He grabbed his naginata and a picture of all of them, April and Casey included. Running to the exit, he took one last look around the lair before give a soft smile, "Wareware wa futatabi au made, watashi wa sayonara o iu koto wa arimasen." and disappeared down the tunnel.


	8. Sacrifice

Leo tried to keep his mind focused on the rode ahead of them. He had a mission to fulfill and his brothers to lead and protect. He couldn't get distracted now, not when things were going to be difficult. Without Donnie, there was no way for them to know exactly what the Kraang were up to. He had to stay focused, he had to keep a calm and level head despite his raising hormone level. Yet, he couldn't. His mind was too focused on his brother's words. Donnie was willing to accept his fate. So willing to try please them that he would accept what could possibly happen to him. He loved his brothers, loved them so much that it scared him shitless none the less, just how much his intelligent brother meant. How much that he wanted to protect him regardless of anything else, or anyone.

It was that simple fact that scared him to no end. A fact that kept him up late into the nights since they saved April for the first time. Donnie had a kind and caring heart, a gentle soul and it was his down fall. He cared too much. Far too much and it terrified him. He was too kind for his own good. Far too caring. Hell, he was trying to make retro-mutagen not only for April's father but for their enemies as well. What good would it due to change them back? It's not like they would be grateful. No, men like that were never grateful.

Sharp silver eyes glanced back at the emerald rival. He had already tasted his intended, already sampled his sweet innocence and he was far beyond jealous. The olive turtle was his and his alone. Mind, soul and body he was his intended, his beloved. No one would have him, no one would take Leo's happiness away from him and he sure as hell was not going to lose him to Raph. He would not treat him well, he would not be attentive to his mate's needs and wants. He was a fool, a brutal and harsh fool who would sooner break his mate in half then admit he was neglectful. Raph was too brash of a turtle, he would hurt the poor thing, tear him from the inside out and make him cry. No, he didn't trust Raphael with the care of Donnie, not in that way. If Donnie did pick Raph, if he did decide that he was to be the mate he chose to be with for life, Leo was going to issue a challenge. He would take him from Raph's cruel and loveless arms into his warm and loving embrace. After all, Raphael was only second best.

Knowing emerald eyes turned to sharp silver. Raph had been awakened by Leo's cries. He knew something was up and before he could get to his elder brother their younger brother had entered the room first. Despite his best judgment, he waited in his room, shell resting against the wall with his arms crossed, listening to their conversation. Should Leo try anything, he could beat him to a bloody pulp. As he listened he felt himself laugh at Leo's suffering, how he cried like a little bitch. Then he heard it. "Even so, if your fear is that they will force this on me, that Raph will take control and force me to mate..." he balled his fists, trying to hold himself back. Is that what Leo's fear really was? That he would go as far as to fucking rape his brother? Was that what he thought of him? That he was some kind of mindless beast that he would stoop so low as to take something as precious as Donnie's virginity. How dare that bastard! He had been ready to leave and pound their fearless bastard when Donnie's voice stopped him again. "I know that this is nature taking hold of us. I would not blame any of you for what may happen. I could never hate any of you, it's not in me to do so. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, that I am accepting of what may come, but it is what you needed to hear. Try as we may to forget and pretend to be humans, with each spring comes the harsh reminder of what we really are. So don't blame anyone for their actions. Now is where our bond as brothers is needed most."

He smashed his hand against the wall of his room. Why the fuck did Donnie have to say that? Why did he had to be the kindhearted one? Hell if it was Raph who had been in his place he would hate if one of them would have done something like that to him. To take something so precious, something that could never be taken back. Donnie, he wasn't like them. He was too forgiving for his own damn good. Far too kind hearted for this cruel in justice of the world they lived in. Hell he was pissed that Casey started to date April. Casey knew how Donnie felt, he fucking knew it and yet he asked her out anyway, IN FRONT OF DONNIE NONE THE LESS! What the hell kind of person does that? He knew the hurt look in Donnie's eyes despite not showing anything other then a smile. He had lost so much respect for them both. They knew. They both fucking knew and it didn't make the pain in his brothers eyes any less apparent. When asked about it Donnie said he had allowed Casey to ask her out. That wasn't good enough for Raph. He needed more information then that. "Really? That's it? Ya gonna give her up with outta fight? I'd of started to plot my revenge..."

"And what will that do but bring back the past, bring back the pain and suffering? Have you learned nothing from Master Splinter's teachings? Revenge is not how to live one's life, nor is feuding over a girl with your friend." He looked out at the starry sky, having ran to the rooftops to be alone. Raph had followed him after noting him secretly slip out. "It's better this way, she deserves some happiness." He turned to his brother and gave him that dorky smile, the one that showed off his gap. "He can give her everything she deserves, a normal life outside the sewers." The pain was clear in his voice, he loved her, truly loved her and he would do anything and everything he could for her without a moments hesitation.

Yet, time had passed. He was over her. Wasn't he? He was not going to pursue and waist his life on the hopelessness of such a longing, such a desire because it would never happen. She was a young, beautiful human girl and Donnie...he was a young and handsome mutant turtle. They could never be together, even if they had wished it with all their hearts. It just couldn't be.

A large part of Raph had enjoyed this fact. That April was out of reach for his brother and that she was now with another. That left him open to pursue, being mateless and all. He wanted Donnie, craved him late into the night when the others had fallen asleep, save him and Donnie. He knew the genius would not sleep, not when there were things to fix. It was in the late nights like those that he found himself thinking of those long Olive colored legs snapped shut with modesty, bare of any gear and dripping wet from a refreshing shower. His brother's face, tinted a shade of red he never knew to exist as he refused to make eye contact. The olive terrapin was biting his lower lip as he tried to cover himself, to hide from the shame. His brother was easily embarrassed, so quick to blush at the cheesiest innuendos. Yet, in his imagination, he hovered over him. His green eyes narrowed in love and lust, his emerald hand massaging his pale thighs to try and coax them to open. He would fight him at first, choosing his modesty over pleasure but Raph would change that.

His mind would run on with "and then's"...his hand stroking his exposed cock, imagining his brother's virgin lips doing the work. His head would be thrown back as he imagined him mount his brother, their eyes locked as he slid into him for the first time, Donnie's face twisted in love and lust...he never lasted long after that. Oh man was Donnie going to be his. Hell or high water, he was going to mate their genius brother.

Mikey just narrowed his eyes. He knew how competitive his brothers were and he feared that the issue with Donnie choosing a mate would only make matters worse. Donnie, of course, would be the one to pay. He didn't like that and it upset him greatly that they couldn't think of anything besides getting laid by their genius brother. "So, whose like, gonna tell me the fucking truth?" he blurted out, breaking the silence.

That got their attention. Their eyes all met and for the first time, they didn't feel like brothers.

"Listen Mikey, ya are going through ya first mat'en season this year. Until yous actually know what it's like to have a rag'en boner 24/7 for a full fuck'en month ta the point ya start to lose ya mind because all yous can think about is how yous gonna bust a nut if ya don't fuck something, don't come ta us act'en like we're da bad guys." Raph snorted and shook his head. "It ain't no walk in da park there shell for brains."

"You don't have to put it so crassly Raph." Leo reprimanded. He rolled his eyes. "But yes, it is not the same until you experience it for yourself. Trust me, you won't like it one bit, Mikey. During that time...you're just not yourself and it's terrifying."

"I don't care about all that, I still wanna know why the heck you both keep stressing out D. He's got alot a stuff to worry about already and you're going to fight over him? He isn't some princess you have to save, you know." he puffed out his cheeks. Really his older brothers could be such cheese heads! "No wonder why D keeps himself locked up in his lab..." he mumbled.

Before either of the others could retort, they arrived. "Ninja, stealth." Leo ordered. Raph rolled his eyes and Mikey simply nodded his head. They really needed to focus. The mission was more important then their feud over who would mate their genius brother. Each assuming that he would be the one to do so.

The moved silently around the building until they came to the window. Leo raised his hand to halt them, assuring them that they need not go any further until he checked the area first. Slowly and quietly he removed his ninjato from the sheath on his shell and slipped it in watching the reflection, tilting it in different angles (something Donnie had showed him how to do.) There was no signs of movement, so it was deemed safe to enter from that way.

Leo entered first followed by Mikey with Raph covering their rear. Each moving as silent as death with in the shadows. Weapons drawn, they moved about the shop with relative ease. Something didn't sit right with them. This was where April had told them to meet, where they were told to go but the place seemed empty, undisturbed by alien activity.

"Someth'en ain't right Leo..." Raph's whisper reached his brother's ears just quick enough for him to dodge a blast from a Kraang blaster. Then silence, no movement, no sound. Jut the silence of shadows. Raph raised his hand where Leo had stepped and there was another blast.

"A sensor?" Mikey moved toward the weapon, inspecting it from all angles. It just seemed like the standard Kraang weapon that was hooked up to a sensory laser thingy. He shrugged. Finding that there was no Kraang droid there to fight. His brothers were looking around finding that there was nothing out of the ordinary. Not even a sign of the Kraang's usual activities. Something was off about this whole situation and it made them all uneasy. The Kraang had something planned.

Leo felt something brush against his foot. Looking down, he slowly touched the thin wire that ran across the floor. He looked at it curiously before following it to the center of the room. To the center, where the gun as held. The center where, Mikey was about to touch the Kraang weapon. Realization shot through him as he ran at his brother. "Mikey no!" he cried but it was too late. The moment he touched the gun, thick purple force field beams shot up, enclosing the three turtles in. It was all a trap. A trap set for them, a trap to lure out Donnie. A trap they had stupidly fallen for!

"Kuso!" Raph breath out as he tried to attack the sides of the barrier. He wasn't going to be bait! He wasn't going to let them get Donnie because they were too stupid to see what was so obviously there.

"Raph stop it! You're only going to hurt yourself!" Mikey ran a him, trying to prevent him from hurting himself further.

He refused. "Damn it! They are ganna use us! They are gonna use us ta get ta Donnie!" he slashed at the barrier with his sai's but nothing worked. They were trapped.

"Kraang, tell Kraang that Kraang has successfully done that which is known as, capture the other turtles." A droid appeared, gun drawn and turned to look at them.

"Kraang, Kraang wishes to know if the turtle known as Donatello is within the force field."

"Negative, the turtle known as Donatello is not with the ones known as the other turtles."

More Kraang came out of the darkness and examined them. "Kraang, secure the ones known as the other turtles. Kraang will use them to do what is known as bait the turtle known as Donatello." The barrier began to shrink around them, closing in until they were all shell to shell before it stopped. A few types from one of their gadgets and the barrier now enclosed around them like ropes, securing each one of them in tight binds. They were pushed forward, toward the out side and into a portal which brought them to the rooftop. That is where they stood. "Kraang wishes to know that which is known as the location where the turtle known as Donatello is in the location of."

"I ain't tell'en you boltheads a damn thing!" of course Raph would do act macho. Try to show them up. His temper was going to be his down fall! "Like we would give ya our brother on a silver platter." he growled lowly when they began to approach them.

"Kraang, this is the turtle known as Raphael. The one known as the turtle known as Raphael, give to Kraang the information that is that of the location where the turtle known as Donatello is in the location of." the gun was pointed at him and charged.

"Kraang! Kraang is not to harm the ones known as the other turtles." he hit him on the back of the head. "Kraang, retrieve that which is known as the communication orb."

Leo's eyes widened. "They know we have one...they are going to message Donnie!" he fought his restraints. "If the message gets through you know he will come!" His fighting was fruitless, the binds on them held fast and he knew that the Kraang had planned this well. They wanted Donnie, more then anything else they had taken and they knew just how to get him. "Why do you want him?! What does Donnie have that you want so badly?!" he barked, wanting an explanation. What was Donnie to them?

The Kraang stopped. "The turtle known as Donatello has the knowledge that is the knowledge which is the knowledge that Kraang seeks." That was it. He continued to mess with the orb until it lit up.

"Donnie, bro please...don't pick it up..." Mikey crossed his fingers as he wished more then he had anything that his brother would be out of the lab, that he would not pick up the orb out of curiosity. "Come on D..."

An image of their brother appeared. "To the turtle known as Donatello Kraang sends what is known as a message. The turtle know as Donatello is required by Kraang to do the thing known as surrender. If the turtle known as Donatello refuses Kraang, Kraang will have no choice but to do what is known as eliminate the other turtles." it stepped aside and moved closer to them

"Donnie stay home! Don't worry about us!"

"Dude they totally aren't gonna do it!"

"Donnie-boy, if yous so much as thinka com'en here you are in a world of hurt!"

They were frantic, trying to keep him safe. To keep him away for his own safety. But they could see in his eyes that he was planning. That he was silently observing them with his calculating eyes. They could see the anger and rage build inside of him when they pistol whipped Raph, causing his mouth to bleed. It had taken so much out of him to not call out and retaliate. "You have what is known as one earth hour to comply or we will start with the turtle known as Michelangelo." they called out more to him, screaming at him not to come when it was cut off.

The Kraang activated the timer. "The thing known as countdown has started."

~LRDM~

Donnie had been worrying about the feeling in his gut. The feeling that told him something bad was going to happen. It was hard to focus on what he was doing. Harder to understand what he was trying to do. Once more, Timothy had talked him into trying to create retro-mutagen again. He sighed and took a deep breath. He had to focus...focus..."I am ninja...nin meaning patients and perseverance..." he told himself, trying to calm his nerves.

"Don-nie!"

He jumped when the silence was shattered and knocked over the container he had spilling it all over his papers and the microscope and the sample he had there. He frowned and sighed. "Yes, Timothy?"

"Hun-gry." he whined.

Donnie looked at his clock on the wall. It was a little early but it wouldn't hurt him. He stood up and walked to his small fridge and pulled out a few slices of pizza. "Here you go buddy. Hope you enjoy it." he smiled at him gently before he walked over to clean the desk. He would have to start over, redo his notes and try again. Nothing seemed to work out for him lately. Perhaps due to his anxiety or lack of sleep, he couldn't be sure but it was far more difficult.

As he was cleaning his notes. He noticed something odd. A small orange spot that stood out in the sea of teal. Curiosity over came him and he looked into the microscope at the sample that was placed there. Adjusting the scope to clear the view he watched as the sample changed, nullifying the mutant gene he was working on. He froze, unsure if what he saw was true or not. What was in that sample again? He looked at the number on the slot, 24-36. He moved quickly through his notes. "24-36...24-36..." he searched through them until finally finding it and smiling brightly, whatever the sample was it held the key to retro-mutagen. "Sample 24-36, sample containing human DNA of...April O'Neil..." the papers fell from his hands as the smile was wiped from his face.

How cruel was this world he lived in? The only way to create retro-mutagen was to use April's blood like anti-venom. His hand shook. She was in danger, should anyone other then him find out. They would milk her blood, they would destroy her...cage her and use her. He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell them, he could tell no one. It would be easy for him to take small samples, for him to say he was just trying to test her blood to find out what made her special, she trusted him. That was why he could not fail her. He would take it to his grave before he let anyone know that the key to the mutagen cure was the blood of his beloved April.

"Don-nie, cure?" he asked, wanting to know what was going on.

"Not sure yet, need-needs to be tested." he said softly as he moved to the second case of the teal formula that he had and pulled out some of April's blood. He mixed them together until the same orange color appeared. He stuck himself with a needle and drew his own blood. Dropping it into a slide and inspected it. It of course looked like mutant DNA. Taking a eye dropped and adding a singe drop of the orange liquid, he looked back under the scope. The results were verified. He had done it. He had created and successfully tested the Retro-mutagen.

He wrote down the formula, labeling the key ingredient as Chemical X after the stuff from that TV show that Mikey watched with the super hero little girls. No one would know and he hid the formula in a secret place. he moved far from Timothy and undid a lose block, well hidden by himself, and placed the formula there before sliding it back into place. He said nothing as he looked over his notes, organizing them and jotting down his findings.

Then the Kraang communication orb went off...

Before he left, he took the orange liquid and poured it into a clean mutagen container. He placed it on the far desk with a small note attached to it. He then left the lair, focusing on his brothers.

~LRDM~

So here he was, over looking the rooftop where his brothers were held captive. There were high probabilities of this going many ways, but one stood out the highest. He jumped down, sliding on the metal wires that connected the rooftops.

There he stood, naginata in hand and eyes white. He was ready for anything, ready for the fight that had a 45% chance of happening. The other 55% was that they would ask him to lower his weapon and surrender, wanting him unharmed if possible. none of the droids moved. So, it was the 55%. Donnie had the advantage.

"I'm here, let them go." he called out.

Raph growled. "Ya fuking stupid?! Get outta here brainiac!" he barked, earning another hit with the butt of the gun.

"Shut it Raph." he glared at him, warning him not to compromise his plan. "I am here as promised."

"Kraang wishes for the turtle known as Donatello to drop his weapon. once the turtle known as Donatello is secured by Kraang, Kraang will then release the ones known as, the other turtles." It stepped forward and moved toward him. "Theses terms are non-negotiable. Kraang has what is known as the upper hand."

"Don't do it D!" Mikey cried out.

"A ninja never drops his weapon!" Leo called out.

Donnie stood tall. His grip on his weapon tightening before going lax in his hand. Narrowing his eyes, he tossed the weapon to the side far from his reach. His hands raised in the air in surrender. "I'm yours." he said softly.

"DONNIE!" the three brother's called out as a net was shot out at him. Yet, once he was touched, he exploded into a thick fog of purple smoke, blanketing the rooftops. They coughed roughly but took the chance to move, standing up and running from the rooftop despite being blinded.

Moving silently, Donnie gathered his brothers by running between them until they were safe several blocks over. He took out his gourd and poured the water over their eyes one by one, each greeted with a smile. "I guess I need to make a new hologram transmitter." he joked as he pressed a device to their binds, short circuiting the energy beams, freeing his brothers.

He was gripped roughly by the arm, yanked up by Leo whose eyes were narrowed. "You disobeyed a direct order!" he snapped. His grip tightening as he looked deeply into his eyes. "You of all turtles should know better."

"Leo, I had to!" he cried, panic raising for upsetting him. "If I didn't they would have hurt you...they threatened Mikey's life and pistol whipped Raph twice..." he was yanked again.

"They could have killed you! They could have captured you and done god knows what to you!" he pulled him closer. "Don't you see we could have lost you..." he hugged him tightly, holding him and never wanting to let him go. "We could have lost you..."

Raph intervened once his eyes were clear enough to see. He grabbed Donnie away from his elder brother growling. "Back off Leo, I don't want him stink'en of ya." his hand twitched, wanting to reach for his sai's.

"Raph stop okay, not right now!" Donnie ran between them, his arms held up trying to separate them. "We still need to get off the..."

Raph's eyes turned white with rage as he looked at the growing bruise in the shape of the rival's hand. A deep threatening growl emitted from him. "Ya son of a bitch!" he snapped, drawing his sai's and attacking him. What right had he to harm his intended? How dare he lay his hands on what was not his?!

"Leonardo, Raphael stop it now!" Donnie ran at his brothers, his wounds reopening but he didn't care. "Stop this now! There isn't any time for this we have to leave before..."

' Donnie could barely make out the figure of Mikey running in front of him, of him grunting softly. His eyes widening as he ran to his brother. He hunched over, pulling a small vial from his shoulder. "Don't worry D, I...I'll be al...right..." his legs gave out and he fell into his brother's arms. "They want you, just leave me Bra...run..." he closed his eyes.

"Kuso..." Raph growled out as he moved over to them, ignoring Leo. "Da same shit they hit ya with." he said after examining the vial.

"Raph you have to carry him, we got to get out of here now!" Donnie stood up, spinning his naginata an blocking the rush of blow darts. "Move!" he cried out. Leo Helped Raph put Mikey on his back before running off. Donnie followed them quickly, watching carefully for the Kraang. Raph was ahead of them, the others trailing him and observing their surroundings.

A partial beam shot out between them, destroying the building and separating them. Raph and Mikey made for a small building where he hid in the shadows. Donnie and Leo pulled into another doing the same.

"This is bad..." Donnie said softly, there was only a 4% chance of that happening. "Leo, if we move quickly we could make it to them and..." he moved to make his way there but Leo held him back, pushing him into the wall. "Leo?"

"Shhhh." he pressed his finger to Donnie's lips. He pressed his body closer to him as a Kraang robot moved past them, scanning the area. Once gone, he refused to move, his eyes looking deeply into rich chocolate.

"Thanks, but we have to get going..." he tried to move but he couldn't. Leo held him fast. His breath hot and sticky on his skin. "Leo.."

His eyes narrowed. "You're going to chose him aren't you?" his grip on him tightened again. "Because you gave him a taste...you let him taste you..."

"Leo this isn't the time for this! We have to get Mikey out of here and..." a hand gripped his chin roughly, forcing him to look at him.

"I'm not going to let him have you...he's taken enough from me...I won't let him have you..." he moved toward him, his lips hovering only a few centimeters from his, warm breath cascading his trembling lips. "I will have my happiness...my piece of heaven..." He pressed his lips roughly against his. His eyes closed and his hand moving behind the other's head, deepening the kiss. The gasp of shock was all it took for him to slip his tongue inside the mouth, forcing his way in and claiming what was claimed. He would not let a single ounce of that bastard stay on his beloved's lips. He was his to claim. He was his to take.

Donnie tried to push him away. Tried to focus on what was going on and to get to their brothers. He didn't want this. He didn't want to feel so helpless, so used by his brothers. He let out a whimper, hoping his brother would stop. Mating season was not going to end well this year...Not when his elder brother, the one who would give his life for his brothers cared more for his dick then them. No, this wasn't Leo. Leo was not like this. It was the raise in hormones. Leo couldn't resist them, couldn't fight his natural instincts. Leo was not to blame for his actions, he knew this, but the pain did not lessen with this fact.

A sharp pain filled his arm causing Leo to pull away and pull the offending piece of glass from his upper arm and looked at it. He was a fool. He growled deeply as he looked up at his intended. "Leave me..." he said, falling to his knees before him. "...They don't want...me...go...I'll just...slow you down..." How could he have been so naive?

Donnie extended his blade and sliced the robot and watched him fall. He threw his brother's arm over his shoulder and slowly made his way toward the area he had seen Raph take Mikey. He was moving slow. Too slow to continue safely. "Raph!" he called out, he couldn't do this alone. He couldn't help them, not while carrying his brother.

Said terrapin came out, his speed slightly hindered by the added weight of their youngest brother. "Da fuk?" he rolled his eyes. "What happened?"

"H..He didn't see the robot..." he lowered his head. 85%.

"Give 'em ta me. Ya too weak to carry 'em." He shifted Mikey to the side, allowing for Leo to be placed on his back. Donnie giving up his naginata, to ease Raph's burden. "What now? Ya the next in command." he said, knowing that Donnie was the unofficial second in command.

Donnie frowned as he looked around. He never liked the idea of being the second in command. He didn't want it, but he would do what he had to. It was since the incident with Snakeweed that he was chosen instead of Raph. He had saved them with his quick thinking where Raph had froze up, nearly killing Mikey in the process. "Come on, there is a man hole near here..." he said pointing him into the direction and following behind him holding Leo's ninjato as his weapon, deflecting with much difficulty the darts with the foreign weapon.

Raph, ran as fast as he could, running toward the man hole cover Donnie had motioned to. He knew it would be difficult to get there. He knew he had to make sure his brothers were secure while also watching out for Donnie, who was in the most danger. He tried not to look back, he tried so hard to stop himself and to trust his brother, his intended but he couldn't. Like that Orpheus guy Donnie told them about long ago during story time when they were tots, he could not trust that his beloved was following him.

A rush of pain shot through his leg, a familiar pain that brought him to his knee. The shot had grazed him, an obvious attempt to slow their progress. The Kraang were not fools. They knew that Donatello would not leave his brothers behind, that he would stay with them. He tried to stand, gritting his teeth before lowering himself back to his knee. Their weight was too much for him. He just couldn't do it while he was injured. He looked up at Donnie and shook his head slowly, indicating he just could not physically do it.

Donnie knew there wasn't much he could do. Raph couldn't fight while carrying Leo and Mikey. There was only so much that he could do with a hurt leg, Raph was not superman, despite how he felt. He looked around the area, calculating probabilities and looking over the layout for a plan. They were so close to the man hole. Just a little further...He knew what he had to do. "Come on Raph, just follow my lead!" he darted in the direction he needed, throwing egg bombs as he did, timing them just perfectly for the plan to work. "You can do it! I know you can!" he called out, dodging more darts and deflecting them away from Raph and his brothers. Raph could see the man hole through the smoke, he was a few feet away. He let his rage build inside of him, imagining what Leo would say to him if he were to fail now. He made it to his feet with the help of Donnie, and made his way to the man hole, toward their salvation.

Once there Donatello threw a hand full of egg bombs down and tore off the manhole cover ignoring his bleeding wounds. He motioned for Raph to go down first. The hot head was hesitant. "I'll lower them down, we got no time!" he yelled. Raph didn't argue, Donnie was the leader now. As soon as Raph was down he lowered Mikey slowly into his brother's arms. Once he was safe he moved to lower Leo down. Kraang droids were not far off. He could hear them clanking as they drew near. He had to move quickly. In his haste his injured arm gave out and Leo slipped from his grasp. Thankfully Raph caught him, easing his fears.

Raph looked up, his arms out and waiting for Donnie to join them. All he got in return was a melancholy look just before a sad smile a sad smile. "Donnie-boy...don't..." he growled out. He moved to climb the ladder but was stopped.

"Take care of them Raphie, get them home safely." he gave him a dorky laugh. "I'm going to be grounded for life when I get home..." 92.3333%...

"Donnie don't ya do it!" he yelled as rare tears formed in his eyes. "Don't do dis...not for us...we ain't worth it!"

The selfless turtle looked down with the softest smile he had ever seen. "You are all my everything, you're all worth my single life. The needs of the many out weigh the few... We are brothers. We are brothers." with that he closed the manhole and looked up at the clearing smoke. He had to lead them away, he had to distract them long enough. He threw some shuriken to be sure they knew he was there. He ran, ensuring all would follow. They wanted him, and they would go through his brother's to get to him. Donatello's one weakness, his whole world, his three beloved brothers.

He ran, ignoring the pain in his arm and leg as he ran for the rooftops. He knew he would not out run them, he just had to get them as far away as possible. The feeling returned to his gut. A feeling of deep dread as he ran on the rooftops. A feeling that he would never see his brother's again. He tried to quicken his pace, running as fast and hard as he could to get away. He suddenly dropped down an alley, fooling most of the Kraang droids and ships too slow in turning to catch up. This gained him time as he ran through the back allies. He turned to look back, to see if he was being perused when his body smacked into something else.

The purple clad turtle stumbled back, slightly disoriented as he struggled to quickly gain his focus. His eyes narrowed as they met the yellow silted eyes of the one mutant he named. "Newtralizer..." he whispered backing away. The larger amphibious mutant stood erect, looming over him with curious eyes. Donnie was in deep shit. He really did not need him right now. Not in addition to the Kraang. 95.76%...

The mutant's tail moved slightly, dragging the white blade across the concrete and causing small sparks. A grin played out on his face as he stepped forward toward the lone turtle. He said nothing, not a single word as he reached for him. That was, until a Kraang droid shot at him. His yellow eyes diverted their gaze from the turtle to the Kraang, a more hated enemy then the turtles. He let out his trademark cry before he ran at the Kraang blaster drawn.

Donnie didn't waste this chance, he ran off toward the opposite direction, running as fast as he can toward the next man hole he knew about. He couldn't waste time! He couldn't take a chance at running into any more of their enemies while open and exposed, alone and carrying his brother's weapon. He couldn't risk it. He stopped a brief moment to look around, his breath coming in heavy pants. There...There just a short run away...A smile found it's way to his face. Perhaps his gut feeling was wrong? He ran for the man hole, running with all his might to get there. Just a few feet away...

A dull pain hit the side of his neck. Freezing him in place. He stood there a moment before he began to move again. Another pain, this time in his leg. Once more he froze, falling to his knees. He was so close...he crawled toward his salvation, eyes blurring as he reached toward the cold metal. "Guys..." he whispered as he felt another dull pain in his arm. His head began to swim, mind fading, heartbeat slowing. "...'m sorry..." he gave into the toxin. Giving into the bliss of darkness. He had failed.

100%...His chance of capture, rose with each folly from his brothers, diverging him from his plan. At the start, his chance of capture rested at a rough 12%.


	9. Reveal

Baby blue eyes fluttered open. At first he couldn't make anything out, just blurry lines and smears across his vision. His head was pounding and his mouth was dry. He felt like that moment between sleep and awake, that hazy weak feeling that he hated so much. He felt like he was in water, the sounds were muffled but he knew somehow that they were familiar. He turned his head slowly, softly to the side. His stomach turned and bubbled threatening to come up if he didn't focus. Yet, when the foul odor of vomit hit him as well as the sound of another releasing his stomach he could no longer hold back. He emptied his nourishment luckily into a bowl that had been placed below him. He didn't take the time to care for who held the bowl nor who was rubbing his shell soothingly. His tear covered face lurched as he released the disgusting cocktail from his body.

"D..Dude...pizza...not so good the...second time...Donnie...I feel like shit..." he said softly, his voice hoarse from vomiting. He noted how the hand on his shell stopped moving, how it was removed slowly. "Awwwww D...I think I got some bad piz..." once more he lurched forward.

"Let it out, Michelangelo." Splinter moved and sat next to him, rubbing his youngest shell. He looked to Leonardo, his eyes so sharp and observant watched as his eldest was comforted and handled by April and Casey. His ears were lowered, his thoughts far gone as he tried to be there for his other sons. Neither Leonardo nor Michelangelo knew that their brother did not come home. That their temperamental brother had not left the dojo since his wound had been wrapped.

Try as he may the Japanese descendant could not get the image from his mind. The image of his rage filled son limping heavily into the dojo with one brother on his shell and the other in his arms. How he had managed it was not in a way he would approve of. In his eyes was nothing but pure rage. Rage like he had never seen before.

He had been searching the lair for his intelligent son. After returning home from a food run he had found that the lair held no sounds that notified him that any were home. No clanking in the lab nor beating heart. Fury built in him as he thought of the lecture and punishment that his intelligent son, who at this moment did not seem so, would receive upon his return. He took a deep breath trying to calm his growing rage born of fear.

Donatello did not disobey him without reason. He was one who would think things through before rushing off. The few times he had found that he did openly disobey him as when April O'Neil was involved in anyway. It was truly hard to convince him to leave her alone, to let her have her distance to cool down after the mutation of her father. His son, so paranoid at the thought of her out there alone while still being hunted by the Kraang was too much to bear. He was just unable to do it. So he would head out alone to watch over her. To make sure she was safe despite her hatred of them. As long as he could, Donatello would always protect her. He would go to such drastic lengths to protect his loved ones at any cost. It was just the gentle nature of his son.

When he heard the turnstile, he opened his eyes but did not look at him. "Young man, do you know how much trouble you are..." the smell of blood disturbed his thoughts. He turned quickly to see Raphael breathing heavily, his brothers tightly secured in his arms. The wound on his leg was bleeding, but not at a dangerous rate. He ran to him, taking Leonardo from his shell and placed him on one of the couches. After he was sure he was comfortable he moved to take his youngest from his brother's arms. "What happened?" he asked as he looked them over. They were just as Donatello was.

Raphael fell into the chair, grunting softly when his leg was hit. His body hunched over and his head resting in his hand. "I wasn't strong enough." he said softly, his voice trailing off as he was lost to his own thoughts.

"My son, what has happened? I need to know so I may better help your brothers." He looked around, noting quickly the absence of his intelligent son. Where is Donatello?" he placed his hand on his son's shoulder before began to clean and wrap his wound, something that was Donatello's duty. "Please my son..."

Raph's temper flared. "I wasn't strong enough!" he growled out. "We got caught, we was to careless and Donnie paid for it! He came ta bust us out afta them damn bots messaged 'em. We told the fucker ta stay away but Donnie..." he shook his head and fought the tears. "Da bastard is too stubborn. He just wouldn't stay away...he lead 'em off, lead 'em away." he couldn't fight them back anymore. he let them flow freely. "I waited...I waited so long and he...he didn't come back...He gave us a chance. He let 'em take him...to save us..." his whole body shook.

Splinter placed a kind hand on his son's shoulder to calm him. It worked slightly, the shivers still remained. "I am sure you have done all in your power Raphael. Your brother is a honorable ninja. You must remember that. He will not break so easily my son, he is as you say, stubborn so much so that it is risky." he stood then after tying off the bandages. "He will fair as well as he can until the time comes. Be it he who escapes or your brothers and yourself who set him free, he will persevere as what Nin means."

Though he was saddened greatly by this, he knew he had to care for his three sons that remained. No different then when Leonardo had been captured by the foot bots. He sighed as he stood.

"Dad..." he broke from his thoughts and turned to his youngest. Tear stained blue eyes looked up at him above freckled cheeks. "...did D make this?" he asked softly, motioning to the tea in his hands. "It taste like piss."

"Language Michelangelo..." he chastised, though his voice was flat, lacking in the authority he usually held. His ears lowered. Of all his sons, the bond between Donatello and Michelangelo was as unique as it was strong. Stronger then most. Michelangelo idolized his elder brother, questioning him to gain knowledge and to learn. With energy such as his, it was hard to keep his attention and most lost their patients with the hyper turtle, all but Donatello. He had found ways to help him learn, to help him keep focus by offering treats and rewards if he was able to focus and learn. Donatello loved his baby brother, his only younger brother. There was no doubt in his mind that Donatello held a special place in his heart for his younger brother. Michelangelo loved his older brother, giving him the shortest nickname of them all to show the closeness and comfort he felt around the patient turtle.

How does one tell such a child that his beloved brother was not there?

"My son...I fear that...I have grave news..." he turned to the bright eyes of his son, watching them fade to a dull blue just before he looked around and back up to him, trying so desperately to hide the panic that was growing.

"Oto-san...where is Donnie?"

~LRDM~

His arms hurt. His legs hurt. His back hurt. Yet, mostly his head hurt. It felt like it was splitting in two, a splitting pain pounding against his head. He wanted to vomit, to empty what little he had. Did he even eat recently? He scuffed and slowly opened his eyes. The lighting was dim, tinted in the Kraang pink. He could see the single door, holding a small window.

Donnie tried to move but his wrists and ankles were bound tightly, ensuring that he would not escape. Why go through such lengths? What good was he to them? He narrowed his eyes as pain shot through once more. They over killed it on the tranquilizers too. One was potent enough so why use three? He didn't dwell on it. No instead he had to get out.

His head was spinning, so he tried not to move so much. He tried to hinder the nausea that was growing. Closing his eyes he tried to focus and will the raising bile from being expelled. He really did not want to let them know he was awake. A wave of pain shot through him, causing him to grit his teeth to hold back any sound that may come. Focusing his breathing, just like his master had taught him, he was able to over come it and relax until it subsided.

Slowly he maneuvered his hands, reaching his fingers toward his belt to reach the hidden razor he kept just incase of such scenarios. They were easy to hide and sharp enough to cut through most ropes fairly swiftly. It took him time, body slowed and mind hazed by the drug. Once he found it, he wasted no time in sawing through the ropes. It was a slow process, trying to maneuver his three large fingers in just the right way to gain enough leverage to saw through the thick ropes behind your back while slightly nauseated and dizzy...it was far from programming his first "Hello World". If anything, Hamato Donatello was determined.

Determination is his key quality, so he himself thought. It had been years that he had been exposed to and focused on his studies. While his brothers goofed off and trained, he was studying his books and learning what he could to better their lives, to keep them safe. All those years, he declined his brothers invitations to play, to join in on their goofball antics. No, while they were playing Buck Buck he was studying how to fight infections and handle wounds that have festered. While he was learning complex calculus and advance computer programming, they were enjoying the heat lamps he had made for them. No, Donnie had to stay determined. He could not let his wants and needs be placed above what the needs of the clan were. Donnie needed to be the doctor, the computer specialist, the engineer, and the scientist. The clan needed all of that and only he could give it to them. He had to remain determined, in order to help the clan survive, or else they would have lost Mikey to food poisoning, Raph to an infection, Leo to a severe fever or Splinter to pneumonia. If it had not been for his knowledge...he would have lost them.

Snap.

He let out a soft sigh as he felt the ropes go slack. His hands were free but he was not out of the woods yet. He still had to unbind his legs, escape the cell, sneak past the guards and security system, and escape the compound somehow getting back to his brothers.

His brows furrowed. "I'm not going to let him have you...he's taken enough from me...I won't let him have you..." he moved toward him, his lips hovering only a few centimeters from his, warm breath cascading his trembling lips. "I will have my happiness...my piece of heaven..." He pressed his lips roughly against his. His eyes closed and his hand moving behind the other's head, deepening the kiss. The gasp of shock was all it took for him to slip his tongue inside the mouth, forcing his way in and claiming what was claimed. He would not let a single ounce of that bastard stay on his beloved's lips. He was his to claim. He was his to take. What did Leo mean by "taken enough from me"? What had Raph taken from him? "I will have my happiness...my piece of heaven..." Was Leo truly unhappy with his life? Was being leader that stressful and unsatisfying that he has to seek out comfort from another in such away? Perhaps, as brothers, they did not know each other as well as they had thought? His heart filled with overwhelming sadness at this thought. Why did they have to experience mating season?! Why couldn't they just live as humans? Or as closely to them where they did not have such a drive to procreate? How he wished so that they were human...that they could walk among the sun and not be tied to darkness and his demons that dug into them with their claws.

He slowly opened his eyes, keeping them narrowed into slits as not to alert the Kraang guards as to what he was doing. Slowly, little by little, he moved his hands to his legs, slowly at a pace he himself grew aggravated at. He was careful though, so very careful, even when he heard the door open just after the rope snapped off his legs. He paused his breathing, relaxed his muscles and readied his plan.

"Kraang has ordered Kraang to bring the turtle known as Donatello to the place that is the place where Plan X is to be carried out. The turtle known as Donatello is to do for Kraang what is known as stabilize the mutagen."


	10. Escape

White eyes watched carefully as the droids passed by. Slowly, silently, he pushed his shell agenst the wall. His eyes searched from the shadows, looking for the way out, the way that would lead him safely to freedom and back home to his family. Once the clanking of the alien droids had passed out of ear shot he made his decent back to the floor, moving as silently as possible. 'Be like a snake...' he heard his master say. 'Be flexiable, yet silent, know your surroundings at all times. Remain hidden, and in the shadows.' He did just that. Moving and bending to remain in the shadows of the halls and corridors.

A small ting rang out like an alarm in the empty halls. The metal pipe he found was heavier then his staff but it would have to do. Even so, the ting was due to the pipe hitting on another pipe. He pressed himself against the walls, waiting for any sign that he had been heard. After what seemed like hours, nothing approched him or made it's way down the corridor.

The two droids sent to collect him were easy enough to wipe out without them alerting the others. Needless to say it was still a matter of time before they would be found and him missing. They wanted him to stabolize the mutagen. Yet, how could he? Mutagen was unpredictable and each batch was not the same as the last. Besides, he only just invented retromutagen afew hours ago, so how could he possibly be expected to stabolize something as unpredictable as mutagen?

He sighed and moved on, looking and searching for any sort of exit be it a window or door he didn't care as long as it lead to freedom, to his family. He knew once he got back he would recive a long lecture from both Sensei and Leo. Raph would yell at him for leaving them, for being so stupid. Mikey would just be glad he was back safely. He left a small smile escape his lips. Mikey was the most understanding when Donnie disobayed orders. After all, it was Mikey who covered for him when he was watching over April dispite her not wanting to see them.

April...His smile faded. Even the mention of her name made his heart ache. Yet, he knew he made the right choice. April was too good for him and he knew it from day one, he just didn't want to believe it. No, he wanted to believe that they could have a life together. That she would love him as much as he loved her. It wasn't until Casey came into the picture that he realised that he was only dreaming the impossible. The more he watched them, the more he could see their love blossom and his love die. From the shy glances to the nervious hair twirling to the small blushes he knew that she was never going to love him. Why would she? He was a disgusting mutant turtle and she an angel in disguse.

He frowned as he made his way down the corridor and moved quickly down to the door that was there. He did a quick check of the area before moving to hack the system and open the door without setting off the alarm. He removed the panel, silently as possible, and began to servey the layout of the wires. 'Simple enough.' he thought, it was just a basic layout of any door setting. The bright red one would set off the alarm, best to avoid that one.

As he continued to work through the wires he constantly checked over his shoulder for any sign of the Kraang. He really didn't want to deal with them. He could barely move through the compound without pain from his head or wounds.

The wounds. The look of pure rage that ran through his brothers. How they couldn't tell between him and eachother. Knowing only that they wanted the other dead so they could claim him. His hands shook as he tried to focus on the task at hand. He couldn't focus on how Raph had pushed him against the wall of his lab and stold his first kiss that he had saved for April nor how Leo had thought more for him by taking from him what Raph had instead of trying to help their brothers.

~LRDM~

Leatherhead emerged from Donnie's lab with some viles in his hand. His friends were not well as the dose used on the was twice that of the dose used on Donatello. Needless to say the intellegant turtle was one who thought things through to the end. "My friends, I have good news." he began as he walked to the first turtle to give him any form of kindness. "Your brother has created a cure for the Kraang drugs. No doubt knowing that this would happen again." he handed the vial to each of the affected turtles before moving toward the human girl.

"Awww, man this taste like rotten moldy milk..." Mikey whined but drank the liquid down none the less.

"I...do feel much better..." Leo said, finding his stomach finally settling.

"There was another find in his lab, one that i can not be sure is what i believe it to be." He said looking to April. He moved his tail, placing the strange glowing object into his webbed hands before looking to her. "It is addressed to you in Donatello's hand." The mutant gator knew the feelings that Donatello held for the human female. He talked about her often when he found the urge to talk at all. How just the mention of her would make him grin, how the sight of her would cause him to fumble whatever project he was on. It was plain as day to the large mutant, and he feared that the human female simply ignored his advances, favoring the human male. As upsetting as it was to watch, he found new respect for the gentle turtle upon knowing that he had given her up for her own happiness.

April took the vial and the small note attached to it. Casey stood beside her, looking over the vial of orange goo. "What's it say Red?" His voice bringing over the others as well. All gathered around her, all waiting to hear what Donatello had to say.

She looked at them all, noting the absence of red amung them. She sighed, he refused to leave the dojo, refused to eat or rest his wounded leg. Opening the note labled so delicately "To April" she took a deep breath before reading it out loud.

April,

If you are getting this then it means I wasn't able to escape the Kraang...I made a vow to you long ago when we so foolishly spread mutagen across the city and took away someone you loved dearly. I vowed to find a cure and change him back, to change them all back. I have finally done so. For you, I created the retromutagen that will bring your father back...

April covered her mouth, trying to stifal the cry that was threatening to escape her lips. He had done it! He had found a way to make it! He saved her father!

...I wish i could be there to see your face...I know the others will be upset that I disobeyed them and went to rescue them. Yet, isn't that what brothers are for? Reguardless, they will be upset so please help them through this. It is my fault...I'm sorry...

"Go on, read more. Come on April please!" Mikey begged as he pulled on her arm like a frightened toddler.

"That's it Mikey...there's nothing more..." she said softly as she looked at the retromutagen. How many sleepless days had he spent researching to find the cure? How many failures did he have to endure before he finally gotten the results they had been waiting for? She looked the note over more trying to find some secret meaning in his words.

She lowered her eyes and looked to Leo. He didn't seem too happy. It was like he could read more into the letter then she chould. Something was written between the lines, Donnie was clever like that. So when Leo stood up abrouptly and moved toward his room without a word, she knew something was seriously wrong.

She had seen it. How Leo would watch Donnie as he worked. How he would stay awake to besure Donnie was okay in the late nights that he worked in his lab. He would talk to her. Ask her advice on how to get Donnie to sleep more and eat more. She tried to help. Brought him books and articles on how to combat what she thought was insomnia. Deep down it was her fault, because she pushed him. Forcing him to find a cure as quickly as he could.

"How do you know when you love someone? I mean really love them?" he once asked her. Naturally she assumed he was speaking of Karai. Yet, now she could tell that he was speaking of someone she thought she knew quite well. Donnie. What could she do to help him? Clearly, Leo was upset by the fact that he could not save Donnie from being captured. Yet, he did not express that until the letter was shown. Was it something to do with her? Or was he upset that she recived his final words instead?

~LRDM~

Leo slammed the books into the table, his eyes lost to rage. After all this time, he still loved her! She didn't care about him. That was made clear when Casey asked her out infront of him. She did not love him so why waist his time on her? What was so special about her anyway? Well, besides the fact that she was whatever Donnie said she was to the Kraang. He was beyond pissed that he would do so much for her and she just blow him off. Yet, what truely topped it off was that she lead him on with her chaste kisses and flirts. She lead him around like a dog on a leash and he allowed it. When she needed help on her homework who did she go to? Who dropped everything to help her? Donnie was too kind fo his own good and it drove Leo mad.

He plopped on his bed, lowing his his head. Donnie was just too much for this world. A big beautiful cinnomon roll that was too good for everyone around him. How his olive skin shown so brightly in the silver light of the moon. His lovely red eyes radiating in the darkness, shinning brightly with wonder and admoration for the wide world around him. Always questioning, always seeking answers in this world. He was always there for them, any of them even Casey.

"Leo..." he called looking up into the night sky throught the grates in the sewer. "I know what you're goign to say but..." he bit his lip. "I had to see it, for myself." he never looked away from the sky. Leo had come to find him after waking up to find him gone from their room. He didn't want him to get in trouble with sensei so he went out looking for him. Here he found him, looking out at the star filled sky.

"Donnie you know the rules..." he began but Donnie raised a finger to silence him. He watched his brother, staring at him through the moon's light that shown through the grates. As if god was shining a silver light down on him, illuminating his light skin giving him a celestial look about him.

Donnie smiled. "Leo...come here quickly." Leo moved to his younger brother. Moving beside him and looking at him questionly. Without looking at him, Donnie pointed up. "Look..."

Leo could see nothing. Nothing but tall buildings and a can of Coke that sat the end of the grate. "Donnie I only see the st..." it was then that he saw the stars shoot across the sky. "Shooting stars!"

"Meteors...they are caught in our atmosphere and will burn up before they plumit to the earth no size then a grain of sand." he gave a soft smile. "But none the less.." he turned to look at Leo, eyes so bright and full of endles wonder. "...this world is amazing."

"I'm such a fool..."

~LRDM~

Mikey held the picture of the family in his hand. Donnie was in the back because he was the tallest, smiling brightly with his arm wrapped around his shoulder. Leo was doing that half smile of his and Raph had his back to him, looking at the younger two. Donnie...

"Yo Donnie bro, come out of your lab and chillax with me! Play some vid games and see if you can beat my high score dawg!" he called from the lab door. From what he could see Donnie was writing things down and searching for something on the computer.

The moment he began to speak, Donnie quickly finished what he was writting and turned to him with a soft smile. "I'm not sure Mikey, I need to get this done..." he could see the want in his brother's eyes, like there was a need for him to come. Donnie looked to the empty cup of coffee and stood up looking out toward his brother. "A quick game, while the coffee brews."

Mikey's smile grew brightly. "Sure thing D!" he ran off to get the system ready as Donnie moved out to make the coffee. He was happy he had agreed to come out. After all Leo wwas out with Splinter and Raph was out with Casey and April. So Donnie and him were left home alone. He had been asked to join the four of them, but he needed to stay home. There was something he needed to talk to Donnie about.

"Okay Mikey, the pot is set. What game are we playing?" the eldest asked as he took a seat on the couch. Was is always this soft? He shrugged and picked up the controller.

Mikey jumped at the sound of his brother's voice. He had been so lost in thought. "Oh...ugh...we're gonna play Mario Kart. You like that one right?" he asked as he suddenly forgot which was his brother's favorite game. He moved to stand up and fumbled the case. "Wooops..."

Donnie smiled softly as he watched his younger brother. "I love that game. As long as I get to be Luigi." he said as he noted the smell of coffee in the air. "Now then, one quick round and then I head back to work."

"Y...Yeah sure." he said sitting next to him on the couch, suddenly finding sitting next to the taller turtle to be ackward. He watched the opening sequence of the game, humming along with the music. "Which track do you want?" he wondered. His eyes locked on the screen.

"Toad's Factory is good with me or Luigi's Mansion." he said as he looked at him out of the corner of his eye. Something was off with Mikey, what he could not say. Yet, recently everything has been turned upside down with the recent proposals from Leo and Raph. It weighed heavily on him. So much so that he hadn't really left his lab in the past three days. It was good that Mikey was still the same. Still the rambuxious teen he was.

"Sounds good to me." he said softly. He moved the controller to Luigi's Mansion and they waited for the map to load. Usually he would banter, tell Donnie how he was going down and how he would whip the floor with his shell. Yet, now did not seem like the right time. Not when there was something he wanted to say, to ask.

First match to Mikey.

Second to Donnie.

Third to Mikey.

Fourth to Mikey.

Fifth to Donnie.

"Awww yeah! I win again!" he said, jumping up on the couch. "In your face!" old habits died hard. He looked at the clock. "D! Your coffee!" two hours had gone by, the coffee was far beyond cold by now.

"It's okay Mikey. I was having fun." he said with a small smile on his face as he looked forward at the screen. "Besides...there is something you want to talk about." this time he turned to look at him.

Mikey looked at him with wide eyes. Wondering how he was able to tell that just by a few short hours with him. "D, how did you..."

"I'm your older brother. I know you well enough Mikey." he said setting down the controller and moved to position himself to face him. "What is wrong Mikey? You can talk to me."

Mikey sat back down, following suit and setting the controller on the table next to Donnie's. He wasn't sure how to go about it, nor what the right words to say. "Donnie...I...I have been feeling weird lately..." he said as he fiddled with his thumbs. "Like...my body is changing...and...i've been feeling really weird like...way differnet then anything else..."

Donnie held his soft smile but inside he was panicking. Mikey was hitting sexual maturity. He was sure he knew where this was leading. What this was going to lead to. Just like the last few days. 'No...not Mikey too...'

"Donnie...it sounds like what Raph and Leo went through..." he looked to him. "I...I'm able to smell you...you smell so...amazing." he blushed brightly. "Donnie...I'm going to start my mating season...like they did..." he took his hand in his and looked him in the eyes. "I don't want to end up like them..." he said. "I need a mate and...well..." he was so lost. His words falling short. How was he to do this? "I...I would like...if you would be my mate."

Mikey recalled what he said after. That it was too sudden and he needed time. Time to think it over and to decide. Truly, Mikey could understand why he had choosen to do that. Yet, he was still hurt by that. Of anyone he wanted Donnie. He wanted a kind and caring mate. One who would be there and who he could trust. Donnie was that mate. There has been no time he could recall that Donnie wasn't there for him.

He set the picture down on the nightstand and laid back on his bed. Yet, now he wasn't here for him. He chose to lead the enemy away to keep them safe. Donnie knew that he wouldn't make it back. He knew that it was a no return type mission and yet he still went. He went and risked everything for them and what did Raph and Leo do? They fought! They fought over something so strupid that it lead to Donnie's capture. They were to blame for this. He closed his baby blue eyes and tried to imagine his brother there with him.

~LRDM~

Punch.

Jab.

Kick.

Jab. Jab.

Punch.

Roundhouse.

Raph grit his teeth as his injured leg was used to deliver the round house. His eyes narrowing as he fought to keep his body going. His rage only grew as he continued to punch. kick and jab at the punchingbag. His muscels screamed for him to stop. Begging him to rest his body so he could heal. He moved back as he delivered a nother punch.

It was all Leo's fault. He had to act all high and mighty by lecturing Donnie for disobeying him for the sake of saving them. The way he looked at their brother. As if he were a possession and not a person. He tightly he gripped his arm dispite they younger crying out that he was hurting him. Leo just didn't care for him the way he should.

Donnie was meant to be treated like a delicate flower. One that could break at any moment. He needed love, kindness and most of all someone who cares deeply about him. It was everything Raph could give him and so much more. Anything Donnie could ever need from their home. Donnie was pretty set on everything he could ever want or need if he chose Raph.

Leo felt intitled to Donnie. Being the eldest and the leader of the group, he felt that anything went to him. That the desired mate was his to take without compitition. This was by far from true. Raph wasn't going to let Leo have everything he wanted just because he was the eldest. Another punch and the bag broke off the chain and flew into the wall. Nothing else could be heard but the panting of his breath. Leo didn't deserve Donnie.

He feel to one knee, too exhausted to continue any longer. Donnie wouldn't like it when he heard he was practicing with a hurt leg. Yet, he was doing as Donnie once told him to when he was angry. 'Take it out on something that can't get hurt.' That's just what Raph had done. Taken all of his emotions. all of his rage, his fear, his sorrow, his loneliness out on the punchingbag. He felt much better but his anger toward the eldest was still present. Leo was not to be underetimated. He knew that first hand. Leo was better then them. Stronger, tatical, analyzing everything and looking for the opening that will bring you down.

It was his fault. If only he had been stronger. If only he was smarter he could have thought of a solution instead of Donnie having to runn off to god only knows where when he was finally captured. He slammed his fist on the ground. "Why ya have ta be da smart one?" he muttered to himself. Sometimes he wished Donnie wasn't so smart. It only lead to trouble in the end. Like that time they were exploring the tunnels. When Raph saw that toy car. How Donnie fell into the roaring waters. How Leo was able to bring Splinter just in time to save him. Donnie got really sick after that. Splinter had prepared them all for the worst.

The incident with Snakeweed came to mind. How he had been reckless and nearly gotten all three of them killed, Mikey expecially. If it hadn't been for Donnie's quick thinking...Reguardless, Leo's leacture after had made his feelings for him quite clear.

"What the hell were you thinking?! You could have gotten them killed!" Leo glared darkly at him. "It wasn't enough that you almost killed Donnie when we were tots, but you go out and pull this stunt! Really is there any brain cells in your head to knock together?"

He groweled. He already regrets what happened when they were tots. Seeing Donnie sick in bed, too weak to even swollow broth. His skin, so pale and his thin body looking as if he were just bone. His small frame, wheezing for each breath. He was in pain but even for one so young, each time he saw his brothers he always had a smile for them.

"I ain't talk'en ta no one!" he groweled as he turned to glare at Casey.

"Ya know, everyone is worried about him too. Red hasn't stopped crying, Mikey is in his room probibly doing the same, Leo is doing god knows what and Splinter...he hasn't stopped meditating." He nearrowed his eyes at his best friend. "You're not the only one who misses him!"

"Ya could a fooled me!" he snapped.

Casey looked at him dumbfoundedly. "What do you mean? Raph you're not making much sense." he moved forward, toward his friend.

Raph puched the ground. "Yeah, sure ya don't! It's not like ya asked da girl he's loved out or anything WHILE HE WAS IN DA SAME ROOM!" he still couldn't believe Casey had done that. What would have possessed him to do such was beyond him.

The human teen blushed as he looked away. "You don't know anything. None of you do." he looked to Raph again. "Just don't worry about me 'n Red! Expecially when it comes ta Donnie!" with that he left the Dojo.

Really, no one knew anything. No one would. Donnie had made that quite clear that no one was to know what they spoke about because it didn't affect any of them, no one truly save for the kindhearted Donatello.

~LRDM~

He stalked through the sewers, his tail swaying from side to side, clanging the sharp metal ax against the bricks that were dripping with water. He moved slowly through, counting softly to himself the tunnels that he passed before comming to the 34th. This was his home. This was where he resided wirh his brother. He entered the large area, housing a couch, t.v and a stove. A few tunnels moved off to the side, serving as their rooms. "I'm home, Rakka, rakka, rakka, rakka!" he called out as he tossed some pizza onto the table. "You would not believe who I had seen while I was out on my run." he began to to take off his gear, clicking it off and setting it on the table.

A larger figure emerged from the one bed room. He moved slowly toward the table. "It's almost done." he mumbled to himself before taking a seat at the table. He looked at the pizza and frowned. "Those people had no taste."

"It was easy to get." he snickered. "They practically threw it at me." he grabbed a slice. "But none the less you'll be interested to know who I saw tonight."

The large turtle looked at him. "Raphael?" he asked. "It's not that much of a surprise to see him..."

He laughed loudly. "No. Someone of more interest to you. Long legs, eyes the color of a buring flame of passion, soft olive skin..." he looked at him, face blushing darker with each discription. "Almost nabbed him too if it weren't for the Kraang."

"Wh..What? The Kraang? What were they after?" he asked standing up and knocking his chair over. "What happened to him?"

He shrugged. "Last I saw, the Kraang dragged him off."

"They what?! And you did nothing to stop them?!" he yelled. His eyes glaring down at him.

"I was out numbered and out gunned. There was no way to get to him." he took another piece and leaned back tampering with his wrist gun. "I know where they took him, when we get the chance we'll get him."

Slash groweled. "Why are you so hell bent on bringing him here?" his brothr didn't care for much outside of hating the Kraang and their bond as brothers.

Newtralizer stood up slowly, taking another slice with him as he made his way to his room. "Your season is coming. My brother deserves a mate. Expecially one desires."

He frowned. "He won't want me." he stalked away off to the side of the tunnel. "He's been after that girl."

The Newt mutant stopped. "He doesn't have to be willing."

"I don't want to hear that!" he roared. "He's worth more then that! Deserves better then that!" he stormed over to his room. He wasn't going to treat Donatello that way. The welding torch fired up, he began to work once more. He had to have it done and renfored before his season hit. He didn't want to hurt anyone, expecially the turtles. They meant so much to him, they were his family, perhaps Donatello even more...he sighed as he took a step back and over looked his work. Iron bars lined his room, inside and out. It was the only way...to keep everyone safe. Donatello would never have him. He made it quite clear that he didn't like him. After all, he did try to kill them, all but him that was.


	11. Voices

The clanking of Kraang druids moved past, one stopping to notice the missing panel on the door, wires hanging loose. It moved closer to inspect the panel, looking at the wires and moving them with its gun. "Kraang, was Kraang doing what is known as scheduled maintenance to the thing that is known as panel?"

Another Kraang stepped forward, looking and inspecting the panel as well. "Kraang must have forgotten." It said, picking up the panel and screwing it back together. "Kraang, let Kraang go to what is known as, training." With that they left with the panel fully intact.

Once gone, Donnie slowly lowered himself to the level of the panel. His eyes narrowed as he set to redo what he had done before. Slowly he unscrewed the panel again and set to open the door while looking over his shoulder. Something didn't really sit right. The fact that none of the Kraang realized he was missing yet raised questions. What were they doing? Wasn't he needed when he was able to get free of them? He wasn't sure and right now he couldn't focus on that. It was best to escape first and make it back home.

"Mikey, will ya stop ya blabber'en an' listen?"

Donnie froze. There was no way. Could they really have found him? How long was he out? No no he must be hearing things. Perhaps it was a side effect of the drug? He shook his head, trying to clear it. He had to focus on escaping. The sooner he got back the better. There was still the matter of him choosing a mate but...he could sort that out later. Yet, what if this only makes them pressure him more? Claiming that his mate could protect him or that he was not to leave the sight of any of them or some bull like that?

He disobeyed a direct order and he would have to pay the consequences for that. He could handle that. It would only be the repetition of Katas or a a round of Rondori with Sensei. Nothing he had not suffered through before when Mikey or Raph got them all in trouble. They were a team and so if one was punished they all were.

"Dude, come on! I wanna find Donnie just as much as you!"

Okay he really heard that one. They were here. They were trying to save him. Silently he moved the panel back into place and moved slowly toward the low voices. Everything seemed to echo in the empty halls so it made tracking them that much more difficult.

"Mikey, keep it down, do you want them to hear you?" This stopped Donnie in his tracks. April? They brought April to a Kraang detention facility?! What are they thinking? How could they be so reckless when it came to her safety? Whatever they have planned for her, Donnie wasn't going to let it happen.

Though she wasn't weak, having been committing to her training with Master Splinter, she was becoming a strong Kunoichi. She had been doing well, able to keep up with them for a while but her endurance was lacking. This is what Master splinter was working on at the time, to push her body to the limit and beyond. Going a little more each day until she was able to stand as their equal. He believed in her. She was strong and confident in her own abilities and the look on her face when she took Raph down...he would remember it for the rest of his life. Taking Raph down was no easy feat, he himself could attest to that.

Oh he was not going to stay quite about this. They were all going to have a piece of his mind and he will not spare their feelings. April was the one thing the Kraang wanted the most and they had foolishly brought her here. What they truly planed to do to her he had no idea but he sure as hell was not going to find out. He would face the whole of the Kraang army before he let them get to her again. It didn't help either that they had teamed up with the Shredder. It only made things more difficult. Another reason he was up late into the nights, worrying to no end that she was in trouble or that she was calling out his name and he wasn't there to help. It left Donnie in a state of unending paranoia and panic that he constantly checked in on April during the night as she slept on the couch under the impression that he was getting more coffee. That was, until he kept waking her up and she insisted he move the coffee pot into his lab.

In those nights he began to leave the door to his lab open, working on his projects while keeping a close eye on her. Too terrified of losing her. Even if she grew annoyed and ask he keep the door closed because the light was too bright for her to sleep, he kept at it through a different mean. Soon he had to make a new camera from the living room. Though he was not satisfied at all by the compromise he took it. As long as he was able to make sure she was safe, Donnie could care less.

"April, please calm yourself. Getting upset will not solve anything."

Splinter? He never left for battle unless something was too much for them to handle. Was his situation worse then he thought? He slowed down, becoming more aware of what he was doing and where he was going. If Splinter was involved then this was serious. His eyes scanned the area carefully before he made his next move. With Splinter there he was more at ease. His father would never let harm come to April and he was ten times as strong as him.

He stalked in the shadows following the voices, now slightly louder then before. They were slowing down. He had to relax, he had to be sure that he was able to join them without compromising their position, that is if they had not done so already. It was only a matter of time before Mikey blew their cover one way or another. A soft smile made it's way to Donnie's lips. His foolish otootokun.

"I am trying to stay calm Sensei but I cant sense him. I usually could but..." Her voice was low and filled with worry. Donnie felt bad that he had caused her to panic. That he was causing her grief in any way. He had swore the day he failed to protect her father that he would never fail her again. Yet here he was, causing her pain.

"Relax Red, I'm sure that geek is planning his great escape as we speak." Casey...Donnie had mixed feelings about him. Casey was a good person at heart, rough around the edges and crude but he did have his strong points, and gods did he have his moments. There had been a time he did not like the boy. How his flirts with April really got to his nerves. Yet, when he truly got to know him, the more Donnie felt it best that he let April go.

'What's up gap tooth? Where are the others?' he looked around. 'Where are the others?'

Donnie stood on the rooftop not entirely sure about this. He was apprehensive, fearful of what he was doing. Yet, it had to be done. Donnie reminded himself of the future she would have with him. Of the sewers and lack of life. She was a lovely flower that needed to bloom in the sun. 'At the lair...I want to talk.'

Casey threw his hands up. 'Hey I wasn't the only one messing around in your lab! I followed Mikey in there to get Ice cream Kitty and...'

'Not about that...' Donnie didn't even know about that one, he would have to question Mikey later. 'It's about April...' gods this was awkward.

Casey stood up straight. 'What about her?' his voice was low, questioning what she had to do with them.

'You like her...a lot don't you?' there was a small amount of pain in his voice. Though Donnie covered it well. 'I know you do and it's okay, really.' He forced a smile.

'Yeah...and so do you.' He pointed out, lifting up his mask for a better look. 'What's all this about Don?'

The turtle's smile faded. 'Why don't you ask her out?' once the words left his lips it felt as if Leo had shoved his ninjato through his heart.

Casey crossed his arms and glared at him. 'What kinda bum do you take me for? Why would I ask her out when it's clear how you feel about her?' Casey didn't mind openly flirting with her. That was just how he was. It hurt to think Donnie would think he would do so behind his back.

Donnie didn't know how to process that. Casey held back because of him, even though he was such a jerk to him. He gulped. 'It's fine really. I see the way you look at eachother...the way she looks at you...' the way he wished she looked at him. 'It's cool, really. It's not like she would be interested in a life in the sewers.' He raised his hands up and tried to laugh it off.

The other was not buying the act. 'It wouldn't be about that to her. April isn't like that, and you know it.' He skated over to him. 'Donnie, what's really going on?'

There was a loud crash that pulled Donnie from his thoughts. He pressed hard against the shadows and waited for the source of the sound to pass. A single Kraang droid had fumbled one of the communicators and sent one rolling. He closed his eyes and waited.

"I bet Donnie-boy is on his way as we sit here." Raph said. Donnie noted that they were in the next room. When the Kraang disappeared down the hall, Donnie took that chance to sneak into the room. A smile graced his face, fully ready to see his family's relieved faces. Yet he was greeted with a sight far more horrifying. There in the center of the room was a communicator. From the communicator came the holograms of his family, speaking in their lair.

"I agree with Raph, Donnie will try everything in his power to get home." Leo reassured them.

"They were listening to us...all this time..." he narrowed his eyes. No they couldn't have been. The orb was inactive and only transmitted when activated and so...the orb was only recently activated. When he picked it up. He cursed himself for forgetting to shut it down. He had foolishly risked their lives.

Donnie moved to the chair, his hands quickly going to work against the tech, moving to erase the information. He had risked their lives because he was so stupid! He could not have taken the time to shut it off he had to write that note...Shaking his head, Donnie focused on the task at hand. The image of them talking faltered before it froze. Donnie turned to look at his family once more before erasing the data. Flicking that off to the side he set to search for more information.

The data base easy to go through, finding plans they had foiled and plans yet to be set into motion. Yet the one plan that stuck out was that of April. He opened the file and began to read. The beginning was basic stuff, things she liked, dislikes, height, weight and so on. He moved to the next page, a discription of what she was. He paused, not wanting to know so he could deny her such knowledge. Yet if such could be used to help her...Donnie decided there was no time. He had to delete the files while he had the chance. Slowly but surely he made his way through the files.

The door opened then, there standing 20 Kraang druids all holding guns. Donnie abandoned the computer, stratified by how much he had destroyed. Slowly he backed up toward the second door. His eyes locked on the Kraang who seemed to be waiting on orders, when suddenly to computer screen light up brightly with the image of Kraang Prime. "The turtle whom is known as Donatello..." Donnie glanced at the screen from the corner of his eye. "Do what is known as surrender."

"What exactly am I surrendering to?" he asked, wanting to know why they had exerted the effort to try and capture him in the first place. The more information he received the more he could determine his value to them.

"The turtle known as Donatello will do what is known as, stabilize the mutagen." It said, a wide smile on its face. "Kraang has seen what is known as, Slash. Kraang knows the turtle known as Slash made from stabilized mutagen from the one known as Donatello."

Donnie was still missing some pieces to this puzzle. How had they known he mutated Slash, even if it was accidental? Could they have deduced that he, being the intelligent one, was collecting mutagen to test and stabilize it? Or had they found out from a different source? Were they paying closer attention then they had ever thought or did one of the other slip up?

"The turtle known as Donatello is what is known as, Scientist. The turtle known as Donatello is proven to Kraang that the one known as Donatello is what is known as, collecting mutagen." Kraang prime vanished and the screen lit up with him and his brothers collecting mutagen throughout the city. Image after image that passed of them collecting all the mutagen, he could see how they concluded that. Then the video of Slash on the rooftop appeared, the one where he beat him and tormented him. His eyes narrowed. "The turtle known as Donatello did what is known as, stabilize the mutagen. The turtle known as Donatello will do for Kraang what is know as, stabilize the mutagen."

Donnie gripped his staff tighter when he heard a click behind him. So they wanted him to stabilize the mutagen. They wanted him to help them create monsters and Terra-form the Earth into a new Dimension X. No he would not be apart of this. He refused to. He would not be the fall of the world. "No, I refuse to."

Kraang Prime was not thrilled. "The turtle known as Donatello will do what is known as..." he cut the alien overlord off.

"No, I will not!" he extended the metal pipe. "There is no way I would work for you, help you, or be associated with you. I am not The Shredder nor do I intend to ever be!" He ran at the Kraang, bashing at their robotic legs and arms.

"Kraang! Do not do what is known as, harm! Do what is known as, capture!" Kraang Prime boomed.

Donatello gave a smirk. They were not going to hurt him. He became more aggressive as he pushed through the lines of Kraang. One by one they tried to grab him, one by one they lost their robotic appendages. He had to escape, he had to get out. They were waiting for him. They were counting on him. He could not let them down.

He broke past them, running as fast as he could down the halls as the alarms blared overhead. The turtle skid as he rounded a corner, tearing his leg wound open again as he took off running. There were no shots fired at him, only the clanging of metal against...stone? Donnie was not sure, he just kept running. Donnie looked at the signs upon the wall.

In his spare time, he had used the Kraang tech to translate pages on the Internet into Kraang. He was able to put an alphabet together and even piece together some grammar. It came in use when he was able to hack the computers. Even a few moments ago, he was able to tell just what it was he was reading. Late hours were spent on his white board practicing and testing. He would look up a passage he knew by heart. Word for word he would used the Kraang alphabet and rewrite it. When he finished, he would translate it using the Kraang tech to see how close he had gotten. It was repeated a dozen times over until he got his basic understanding. All and all it was easier then learning French.

He pushed on despite the pain toward the way marked exit. There he could see the door, he could see light from the sun and it had never brought him more comfort then now as he gripped the door handle and went to push is open. Once more he was stopped, his eyes looking out at the "sun". He had failed to assess the possibility that he was not on Earth.

Outside was another dimension, one that was not his nor the Kraang's. It was another, one that seemed like a mix of the two. Donnie was intrigued but he did not want to stay to investigate. He had to bolt back down the hall and search for the portal room. He would be able to open a portal to Earth from there.

Moving swiftly he knocked a few druids down before bolting to the room. His leg hurt but he had to persevere. He had to get home. He had to tell watch that horror movie marathon with Mikey. He had to help Raph work on the Stealthshell. He had to practice his katas with Leo. He had to help April study for that trigonometry test she had on Friday. He had to help Casey work on his rocket skates. He had to have his Saturday night tea with Splinter. He had...

There was a sharp pain in his back and arm. Half expecting to pull out darts, he turned to remove the objects. Before he could process what happened, a pulse of energy shot through him. His muscles tensed, causing him to fall to the ground with a hard thud. The metal in his hands only added to the pain. As much as he willed his hands to release it they would not obey. He sufferered through for what seemed like minutes before it stopped and he dropped the bar, his body twitching uncontrollably. His hands did not seem like his own, they were numb and moving of their own accord.

A Kraang droid appeared before him. "Will the turtle known as Donatello do what is known as, surrender?" it asked, hand on the trigger.

He lay there twitching, mouth moving with each harsh pant. "No." Another jolt of electricity shot through him. His breathing halted, his muscles tightened and he clenched his teeth, trying to keep from screaming out. It hurt, much like when he touched the Kraang power cell for the first time. It halted and he was able to breath again.

"Will the turtle known as Donatello do what is known as, surrender?"

A profound NO, was his response. Another jolt. Same question. Same answer. Same response.

~LRDM~

Raph sat off to the side of the group, still not feeling like he should join them after he let Donnie get captured. He was to blame, because he didn't make sure Donnie was the first one in the sewer. He should have known from the start what he was planning to do.

Mikey was on the couch, trying to reassure April that Donnie would come home safely. Casey had gone to get a few things and would be back. So he was in charge of comforting her.

Splinter came up, calling silently for their attention. Leo was at his side, clearly their talks have lead up to this point and the meeting would commence.

"Mikey, will ya stop ya blabber'en an' listen?" Raph snapped at him when he spoke to April over hearing what Splinter had to say. He was already in a bad mood. He wanted Donnie found no matter the cost. Kami only knew what they were doing to him.

"Dude, come on! I wanna find Donnie just as much as you!" Mikey shot back. He was tired of Raph acting all pissy. He wasn't the only one that missed and worried about Donnie. Hell, given how him and Leo treated him he wouldn't be surprised if Donnie stayed missing.

"Mikey, keep it down, do you want them to hear you?" she covered her ears. Really did Mikey have to yell so loud while next to her? Shoot she was not deaf, not yet anyway. She was also slightly irritated at how they were all acting after Donnie was taken. Sure she expected them to be upset but...there seemed to be hostility between them, like there was something more to it then that.

"April, please calm yourself. Getting upset will not solve anything." Splinter Informed. She had been the loudest of them and he needed her to stay calm. If she began to panic it could set off a chain reaction among the others. He was worried about them all, Donatello mostly but...like April...he sensed something more was afoot between them.

"I am trying to stay calm Sensei but I can't sense him. I usually could but..." She had been trying since he disappeared. She had an idea as to why this might be happening but she did not want to scare the others. What if Donnie was not on Earth any more?

"Relax Red, I'm sure that geek is planning his great escape as we speak." Casey walked in carrying a bunch of supplies. Most notably a few pizza boxes. He set them down on the table before looking at them. They all seemed even more upset then they had when he walked in. Before he asked, he looked down at the pizza before realizing he ordered Donnie's favorite.

"I bet Donnie-boy is on his way as we sit here." Raph felt like he needed to help. Casey didn't mean to upset them. It was Donnie's turn for choice toppings. He forced a smile at them, not believing his own words as much as he had hoped.

"I agree with Raph, Donnie will try everything in his power to get home." He said piggy backing on the other two as he tried to cheer them all up. It seemed to work with the three of them believing such to be true. It was reassuring. "Heck he even broke into the Kraang detention center to break out Mr O'Neil!"

April laughed, tears pricking the side of her eyes. "The idiot! He could have gotten himself killed..." she wiped her tears away as she felt strong arms wrap around her. "Casey..." she buried her head in his neck. She was grateful to have him, grateful that he had asked her out because he made her happy.

~LRDM~

Slash wiped his brow as he looked at his masterpiece. The iron bars were double reinforced, ensuring the strength. He did not want all this hard work to go to waste if he managed to get out. Mating season was not a matter to take lightly. He feared hurting his brother, hurting some random person, hurting Raph or....

He swallowed hard. He recalled when he was just a turtle. The way Raph described him, making him seem like the most beautiful being in the world. Olive green skin, so soft and smooth, long legs that seemed to go on forever leading to hips that seemed for more profound then his shell allowed to be seen. The cute chubby tail that would wag happily when April walked in.

Yet perhaps the greatest memory he had was of how delicate his hands were while treating him. It was back when Raph had first gotten his Sais. He was so excited that he practiced in his room for hours on end. That was, until he tripped over his skateboard. The sai slipped from his grasp and cut the smaller turtle on his front claw. Never had he seen Raph so devastated in his life.

The young turtle scooped him up and immediately took him to Donatello. The olive tween smiled softly as he ordered his brother to set Spike on the table. He was not sure what he was doing until he came back with an armful of supplies. He delicately took the claw into his hand and poured some water over it. Softly he dabbed away the blood all the while reassuring the panicking Raph that it was not as bad as it looked. It wasn't. Only a scratch but it bled a great deal. Once Donnie was satisfied, he added some gunk to his claw all the while doing that cute thing with his tongue. He finished up by placing a square cloth on the cut and wrapped it up.

Slash shivered, his hormones spiking. The sudden urge to have the smaller turtle near again was over whelming. How he longed to bend him over and...a deep blush came to his cheeks as he opened the iron door to his room and walked in. He needed to cool off. Getting himself worked up over underage Donatello was not something that sat well with him. Children were not attractive, not in THAT way.

Slash was older then the turtles, by a few decades but to a turtle that was nothing. Spike was already thirty-eight when Raph found him at age three. He set his welding gun down and laid on the bed made of to king sized mattresses. He needed to think things through. It wasn't like he could pursue him. His beast friend was after him. Since he was quite young. Yet, the more he tried to forget the more he found it harder and harder to resist.

"Hey buddy...come to see me test a theory?" a small pet on his head before a wide gaptooth smile.

Slash tried hard to resist remembering but all he seemed to be able to do was just that, remember all the things that he remembered about the turtle.

Olive fell hard as emerald pressed the sai to his neck. Spike had a great view of Olive's spread legs.

He felt his blood boiling as his body stirred to life.

Olive looked out the door at the sleeping girl. "I'm worried about her." He said sullenly. "What if I'm not smart enough to make a retromutagen?" he turned to Spike, reddish eyes looking into his. They were so sad, so beautiful.

He heard a small pop as his appendage was exposed. He blushed deeper as he took hold of it. It was large, nearly his body length. It was ridged with small bumps, compliments of the mutagen. He bit his lip as he began to pump.

Emerald had taken Spike into the shower. Olive was there, letting the water wash over him. Bare of gear and even his mask. Emerald would sneak glances, even talking sea foam into playing a prank and adding more soap when he was not playing attention just to prolong the sight.

His breaths came out in pants, shallow and quick. His eyes were closed as he worked the tip.

Olive had a Popsicle. It was a hot afternoon as he worked endlessly to fix the AC. Spkie watched as Olive's tongue wrapped around the tip, collecting the melting juice before it escaped.

He imagined that tongue, warm, wet and sinful wrapping around his tip mimicking the same movements. He bit back a moan, his body breaking into a sweat.

Olive was holding him. He had ended up too close to mutagen while observing him. "Here you go buddy. Raph would kill me if anything happened to you." He scratched under Spike's chin.

The speed increased as a pool of warmth filled his belly. A deep blush when he started to move his hips as well.

Olive's head and hands were lying on the table. He was passed out after another late night. Spike was there, moving closer and closer to him. Slowly he nuzzled his hand, relishing in the warmth and softness of it, his tongue coming out and licking him for a taste.

"Donatello..." With a shutter and a grunt, his seed spilled forth, shooting up his plastron and even hitting his face. Several spurts later he was covered in his recent activity. He reached over to grab his towel he had cleaned the night before. Wiping himself down he felt ashamed of himself for using his memories like that.

Closing his eyes he faced the reality that he would never have a shot at loving him. That he had blown that the moment the mutagen corrupted his mind and he attacked the terrapin. Slash would not forgive himself, so how could he ask that of Donnie?

~LRDM~

The Newtralizer was outside his room listening in. His brother deserved a mate. He was already a good chunk through his life and he should have what he wanted. He wanted Donatello, that smart-aleck whom named him. The name wasn't bad he had to admit. He even adopted it.

He looked at his watch and gave a small smile. It was time to move. If his calculations were right and the Kraang had taken the turtle THERE, then he would return right on time.

Walking slowly from the room lair he opened up a portal and stepped through. He only hoped that they had not harmed him too much. After all, he would need to be in decent shape for what he had planned for him.


	12. Taken

He watched the burner as the chemicals mixed, making sure they were doing so properly. He did not want a repeat of when he had first done so in his own home. That ended in an explosion. Once it turned blue he took it off the heat and set it in ice to cool, thus changing it to a purple-ish pink color.

Kraang droids stood around watching him closely, making sure he did not fudge it up or try anything funny. If he needed something he had to ask them for it and explain why. Most times they did not understand but brought him the items anyway. It was comical really, how easily they gave in to him because they simply did not understand, much like his brothers. They moved about, looking and watching him closely. He knew they were trying to gain the formula for stabilizing the mutagen, to which he was sure there were cameras in the room. He was not at all pleased to be watched but he had to keep it up. Donnie would pretend to add a little of this and that, never actually adding the chemicals but throwing them off.

If they stabilized the mutagen...he did not want to think of it. Donnie had to stay focused. Losing his focus now would do nothing to help anyone. Knowing that he was no longer on earth, he knew it was unlikely his brothers would find him. They had stumbled upon portals before but the majority of them lead to Dimension X and not...where ever this place was.

He took a moment to wipe his brow. Since he had been there they had not offered to feed or give him water even. A Kraang droid stepped forward, pushing him. "The turtle known as Donatello will do what is known as, get back to work!"

He sighed. "May I have some water at least? I need it to stay hydrated." He could tell they did not understand. "If I do not get water, I will die." That seemed to register with them. It was a while before some was given to him, a few bottles that were set off to the side. He was sure they did not pay for them. Yet he had to take what he could get. Opening the bottle, he drank half of the bottle before setting it down. He felt much better as he turned to get back to work.

Yes after sometime Donnie had broke and agreed to stabilize the mutagen. Yet, it was all according to plan. Once Donnie found he was not on earth he had but two options. Try to find a portal while being pursued, or refused before giving in only to use them. The Kraang had access to unlimited amounts of mutagen, if he could set it up where all he would need was a single drop of April's blood...he could create enough retro-mutagen to revert everyone back. No more Stockmanfly, no more Rahzar, no more Fishface...they would all be turned back into humans. Timothy would be over joyed to be able to walk again. Yet...his sensei...he would be reunited with his blood daughter, and live a normal life with Miwa.

The young turtle closed his eyes. They owed their father so much. A man whom lost everything, whom tried to start a new life and was mutated into a giant rat...he did not have to take care of 4 baby mutants. He did not have to teach them his art, to raise them as his own. For that Donatello was eternally grateful. That is why the retro-mutagen was just as important to have for his sake as much as April's.

He would never tell the others, but he was working on a controlled mutation to turn them human. So they could live normal lives outside of the sewers and even perhaps...he shook his head. By the time he perfected it, if at all possible, it would be too late for him and April. She would be too far out of his reach.

"The turtle known s Donatello is requested by Kraang to do what is known as hurry up." One of them said as he pushed him with the gun.

"You fool! One misstep and BOOM!" he narrowed his eyes. He would not die because they wanted him to finish in a rush. "These chemicals need to break down over time. You cant just rush the process." He was not lying. They needed to sit for at least 6 months before they were safe to use, at least in his research. He was not going to cut corners; it could mean another mutation, or worse. He had to repeat what he had done almost exactly as before. "You demanded me to do it, so let me do so!" The Kraang backed off and went back to his place near the door.

"What is this about Donnie?" Casey crossed his arms. He could not wrap his head around Donnie asking him to do something so...so heartless.

Donnie just gave a soft smile. "I know she isn't like that, it's only of the many things I admire about her." He blushed softly. "Yet, it would never work. Fate will not allow it." He felt the tears pricking at his eyes.

"Dude, what do you mean? I'm sure a brainiack like yourself would not believe in mumbo jumbo like fate and destiny." He laughed it off, not wanting to see him cry. He could only imagine how Donnie felt. Falling in love with someone who is a whole other species.

"Normally, no but...I made a new discovery. One I don't want the others to know." He rubbed his arm and looked away. "It just isn't possible, not until I can figure how to reverse it. It's better that she is happy, she deserves it after everything that has happened to her."

"Donnie what are you talking about?" he skated over to him. "Come on, I know we don't get along well. The jock and the nerd never really do but I'm not heartless. Tell me what's going on?" He grinned.

The mutant looked up only to show a tear trailing down his cheek. It was concerning to him. What was Donnie so upset about?

He was not prepared for the answer.

He finished on batch and marked the date on it before starting the next. He was running low on supplies. After doing a quick inventory he wrote down a list of items he would need. "Here," he said to one of them. "I need this for the next 9 batches." The Kraang took the list and looked it over. "I can validate use for each item that list if you need. All components are in the finalized one but there is more to be done over time." He rubbed his shoulder. "The ones below are things I need for stage 2, I can validate them as well."

"Kraang will do what is known as, collect supplies." It turned to another droid. "Kraang, do for Kraang what is known as, validate the components." With that it walked out as the other waked over to him. "The turtle known as Donatello will do what is known as, validate the components." Donnie sighed softly as he sat down in the metal chair they provided him with. It was a very long and extensive line of bullshit, but very convincing.

Casey swallowed hard. So...that was why. It made a lot of sense really if you thought about it but still he could not wrap his head around it. "Donnie..." he tried to comfort him.

"Master Splinter always told me that I was a bit more different then the others. He found then easily with splatters of mutagen upon them. I unfortunately was submerged in the canister on my shell." He tried to play it off like nothing but clearly he was disturbed by it, Casey could tell. "I was sick a lot when I was younger, Master fearing I would not make it. The prolonged exposure caused a change in me, one I wish I did not know about." He slammed his hand against the wall. "It was an accent, like most great discoveries..."

Casey listened; though he didn't want to he knew Donnie would never tell the others, at least not yet. He trusted Casey, even if this was to convince him to make April happy he knew it meant Donnie had a great deal of trust in him.

"There is no point in pursuing someone when you cant grow old together." He looked up at he, giving his dorky smile. "I just want her to be happy, no matter what."

Casey balled his fist. Donnie was the freaken nicest guy he knew. For someone so different even among his brothers, he just kept putting everyone before himself. It was admirable. So much So that Casey almost failed to ask an important question. "Are you going to tell them?"

A shake of his head. "It's better if they don't know. I don't want things to change and you and I both know they will. No matter what I do..." he sighed. "I'd rather the memories be real."

"I get that Donnie, I really do but what kind of memories will they have, you in your lab starving yourself, depriving yourself of sleep just to create a retro-mutagen? I get that you are doing it for Red, that you made her a promise but...you need to think of them, of your family as well. They are worried about you so much to the point Raph asked me to buy a thick chain and 3 combination locks to keep you out of the lab."

Donnie rolled his eyes. "He knows I can crack any lock..."

"It is not the point Donnie. You are working yourself too hard and it is starting to scare everyone, even April." He didn't want to play that card but he was running out of options.

"I am doing all of this because I am the only one who can." Man Casey wished he had that kinda confidence. The Kraang could not even stabilize the mutagen and Donnie felt he was the only one who could cure it.

"I get that but..."

Donnie shook his head. "I am not going to age..." he let another tear fall. "I will out live you, my brothers, my father even Ap..." his voice cracked. "Even April. There is no reason to pursue what I cannot have. I want to make my memories of all of you happy ones..." he looked to him. "So will you do it? Not for me but for her?"

Casey had no real choice but to agree.

Casey stood on the rooftop that he and Donnie had their little chat. Donnie had asked that he ask her out in front of him because he wanted to see her face when he asked. Needless to say, it was not a good idea, just as Casey had said it wouldn't. Raph was pissed at him, but what could he say? He made a promise to Donnie, that he would not tell them. It hurt that a wedge was driven between them but then again, it was worth it, just to see a real smile form the purple clad turtle. April had been happy, excited even when he asked, more so then she ever had been.

Yeah she kisses Donnie's cheek and hugs him, but both know it is no different when his sister kissed him. Donnie was friend zoned hard and he knew that he would remain there.

From what he heard from Raph, the only reason they got involved with the Kraang and were discovered by The Shredhead was because Donatello went after April. He had fallen for her hard and when she and her father were being kidnapped it was thanks to him that she was safe and they even met. He had to admire that. Despite knowing what his master and father had told him, he still disobeyed to help a stranger in need.

He scuffed. "Why can't you just tell them?" he muttered as he kicked a rock across the roof. His hand balled into a fist. There was something else Donnie was hiding, something more because he spoke of how he did not want things to change between everyone but...the way he seemed so hesitant around his brothers...something more was going on.

"Casey, I didn't know you were out here!" Mikey ran over to him followed by the others, including April. "Dude we were just about to call too! One of the Kraang bots cracked!" he could not contain his excitement. It was the first lead they got.

"Really?! Where is he?" Casey tried not to seem overly excited.

Raph held his arm, it was bleeding but nothing too serious. "A warehouse of 7th street. Says he'd be there but we aint so sure." He looked to Leo.

"I know but...what other option do we have? It is the first lead we have gotten since..."

April rolled her eyes. "I am with Leo, I think it's a trap. The Kraang snapped before you did anything to him." She crossed her arms. "Think before you rush in Raph."

He turned on her. "What do ya care? S'not like ya really care about 'em." He narrowed his eye. Yes, she was the cause of his pain. If it weren't for her and her father, Donnie would still be home.

"What does that mean?!" she snapped back. Really his attitude toward her was getting piss poor lately. What did she do to him to deserve this?

Leo stepped between them. "Back off Raph. April has nothing to do with this."

The Red clad turtle scuffed. "Oh yeh? Donnie would be here if he wasn't fool'en around with that retro-mutagen! He would still be home if it weren't for her!"

Casey stepped in. "Knock it off Raph! Seriously, Donnie made his choice and..." that was not smart.

"Just like ya made yours?" He stormed over to him. "Ya didn't care about him neither! Ya always talken about bro code and what not but ya sling'en shit all over da place!"

The human balled his fist. What more can he say without giving in? What could he possibly do but take it with a grain of salt? "Some things are best left alone." He looked into Raph's eyes unwavering. "Let it go."

"Hey hey come on! Fighting will get us no where! Donnie needs us and so far..." he counted the party really fast. "The six of us need to stick together!"

They all looked at each other. "Six?"

Mikey rolled his eyes. "Leo, Raph," he held up his fingers. "Me, Casey, April and Karai."

All eyes turned to her. She was sitting on the water tower swinging her legs back and forth. "My my seems like a domestic dispute, perhaps I should call the police?" She smirked.

"Not now Karai!" Raph snapped ready to run at her before Leo held out his arm and stopped him.

She smirked. "Neat trick, can you make him roll over too?" she mused. The red one growled as Leo approached her. She looked around. "What's the matter? Geek boy got another project?"

Raph jerked forward but was held back by Leo. How dare she say anything against Donnie! Oh he was gonna enjoy making her regret her life choices. "What do ya know?! Why not go back 'n blow da Shredhead!"

She stood then, eyes narrowed. "Watch your mouth! Else I seal it permanently for you!" she spun her weapon pointing it at him. "I will kill you Raphael, the only reason I don't is because you are mildly amusing."

Leo pushed Raph back, glaring at him to back down. The other glared back before storming off. Slowly he turned back to Karai. Maybe...just maybe she knew something. "Karai..."

"Better keep your pet dog on a tighter leash Leo, I'm not going to hold back next time!" she jumped down, landing with a soft crunch of the fresh snow, blade pressed to his neck. "Got it?"

He stood there a moment before she moved the blade away. "Karai please, we need your help." He hoped so much that she would hear them out. He knew they tended to ally themselves with the Kraang from time to time and right now he could only hope she could tell him something.

She was taken back by this, backing away a bit to put her small blade back. "What kind of help? I'm not telling you where our base is." He shifted her weight to one hip, arms crossed over her chest.

Leo shook his head. "Donnie was taken." He said softly. "Without him we don't know where to start. The Kraang were his specialty and we are not sure how to find him." He looked at her pleadingly.

She listened, thinking a moment. She could help them, her father wanted to destroy them all at once so helping them would be helping her father...that was if she knew where to look. Karai could not be sure but her father had some plan or another about how to eradicate them and their master. Yet, Karai was not heartless. She knows what it is like to lose someone. Best they all die together.

"There was something said by the Kraang, something about a package that had been taken off dimension, I assumed they were talking about mutagen." She looked to them, all-waiting for her to go on. "Shredder far more interested in it then I could understand, now I can only guess they were talking about your brother." She was actually concerned now that she thought of it. Donatello was the one who made all the items they used to continuously defeat them. "Why would they take him?"

Mikey shrugged. "That's what we want to know. They used us to lore him out, took him while me and Leo were out. Raph couldn't carry us and fight, Donnie covered him until he got hurt...then he lead them away..." his voice was uncharacteristically low.

"If they wanted him that bad it can't be good." Karai noted the looks on their faces. "What, if I wanted one of you that bad it's what I would do." She rolled her eyes. "The facts are he is most likely off dimension. There could be hundreds if not thousands of them, the only way to find him is to know which one they took him to. Unfortunately they never said, at least not while I was in the room."

"That would explain why I cant sense him. Donnie has been in a different dimension and we have no clue which!" April balled her fist. "What about Dimension X? Wouldn't they have taken him there?"

"Doubtful, mutagen is unstable, would wanna blow up your home." Karai smirked. "Nearly forgot you were a thing." She waved to her. "Surprized you came out now that your boyfriend is missing. Whose gonna stick their neck out for you now?"

Casey scuffed. "Hey, her boyfriend is right here!" He glared at the kunoichi. "She is a trained ninja, she doesn't need anyone to stick their head out for her."

"Awwww, you broke up, how tragic, no wonder he looked so depressed." She deflected a shuriken. "I warned you Raphael!" she growled as she threw it back.

"The fuck ya talk'en about?" he yelled. "The fuck do ya know about 'em?!"

Karai threw it back. "More then you I guess. I've been tracking his movements in the junk yard for a few months, figured he would take me to your hideout but he is too clever." She shrugged. "You know he mutters to himself when he's troubled. Kinda cute really." Her eyes turned toward the moon. "It's been a good month since I seen him there. Though you three I see quite often, I always figured he was busy helping you stay ahead of the game. Just imagine if a genius like him here on our side...wanna trade for Lord of the Useless?" They all looked dumbfounded. Times like this she wished the olive turtle was there. He would have got it.

"Is there anyway you can get more information? Please, if you give it to us I will be in your debt. Any favor asked within reason and I shall do it!" he took his sword from the sheath, holding it to his heart as he knelt before her. "I make this scared vow here and now."

She rolled her eyes and motioned for him to stand. "Gosh and here I was expecting a ring." A smirk. "I will see what I can dig up. No promises, Shredder is planning something big. Not quite sure what it is though but he is not telling many people. Not even Rahzar knows." She waved them off. "Tata for now." With that she ran off, leaving them all in a state of confusion.

~LRDM~

Donnie finished the last of the ten batches. Now he had to prep stage two. Well under the watch of the Kraang he had gone most of the day without eating and it was starting to show. His hands were becoming shakier and his vision was starting to blur. Setting the vial down he turned to the Kraang. "I need food. To validate it, I need it to keep up my strength, focus and survive." Now that Donnie thought about it, shouldn't it be his turn to pick the toppings?

"The turtle knows as Danatello, Kraang wishes to know what it is that the turtle know as Donatello needs to do what is known as eat."

Clearly they did not know. Donnie wondered if they would bring him a pizza. He shrugged, worth a try. "I would need a pizza with pepperoni, olives, pineapples, and mushrooms." He said trying not to smirk and give it away.

"Kraang," it turned to the other Kraang. "Go do for Kraang what it known as, get food for the turtle known as Donatello." The droid nodded before clanking off.

Donnie could not believe they bought it. They were seriously getting him a pizza and it had to be one of the coolest things in the world. Yet he had no time to enjoy it as they pushed for him to get back to work. Once he was done he wasn't sure what they would do to him.

Working consumed him, mixing the chemicals, heating them before mixing them some more. Donnie set the first batch of Stage two down to double check the base batch. If any turned green he had to get rid of it and try again, this is why he created ten batches. To ensure more then one was going to make it. Three were no good, he informed the Kraang to dispose of them, even going as far as telling them how to do so. Going back he started three more base batches before finishing the stage two batched.

The smell of pizza filled the air, causing his mouth to water. How long had it been since he last ate? He was not sure but he was hungry. Setting the work down, he moved to grab a slice. Absent mindedly he thanked the Kraang. It was the perfect pizza, at least to his hungry tummy. A small smile as he reached for a second slice. He had to eat while he could, he was not sure when his next meal would be, if he even got another reached his limit with three slices though, his malnourished body just could not handle the greasy food. Yawning slightly, he stretched and moved to go back to work.

In a few hours he had the base batches, all ten, set and ready. Stage two, all ten batches set and ready. He was currently on stage 3 prep when he heard the Kraang alert. Many of the Kraang left the room, leaving two to guard him and two to move the batches. "The turtle known as Donatell will do for Kraang what is known as, follow." His arms were tied behind his back with odd-looking cuffs before he was shoved. Walking behind the two Kraang, he wondered if his brothers really had made it, if they were here to rescue him.

Shots were heard off into the distance as he was pushed one time too many. Kicking his leg up, he was able to knock the gun from one Kraang's hands before kicking him into the other, knocking both out of commission. Not wanting to waste this chance, he ran through the compound looking for the portal room. Every one of the Kraang lairs had one.

He slid to a halt and hid down a corridor as Kraang droids ran past heading toward the gunfire. The fact he had not heard his brothers only confirmed the fact that they were not present. This was someone else they were fighting; by his guess one of their mutant experiments gone wrong.

Once they were gone, Donnie took off running down the corridor. He came to a fork and had to chose. He could see the shots to the right hitting the back wall. So he decided to go left. Running as fast as he could with his arms bound. Attempting a second escape was foolish enough, to do so with your hands behind your back...that was just stupid. He was just happy his brothers were not there, his reputation would not survive.

Donnie halted, his breath coming in pants. The compound was eerily quite now. The alarm had stopped and the shooting ended. He wondered if the Kraang subdued the beast. If so he had to move quickly. Turning down the hall he realized too late that it was a dead end used for storage of old Kraang droids. He cursed softly to himself as he peeked around the corner. No sign of movement...so he moved back, ready to sprint at a moment's notice. Counting in his head, 3...2...1...he ducked out of the way as a blade struck the wall. He rolled once before moving into a kneeling position. His eyes locked on a sight he really didn't need right now.

Newtralizer stood there, tail in the wall seemingly to smile at him. "So you were here. I knew they would take you to Dimension D." he crossed his arms as he pulled his tail from the wall. "By the looks of things in the other room you were quite busy." He uncrossed his arms and moved forward.

Donnie rose to his feet, backing away as best he could. "I don't know what you are talking about." He didn't need him knowing what he was upto. "Back off! I'm leaving." He moved to leave and the other whipped his tail, wrapping it around Donnie's neck.

Lifting him into the air he examined him. From his marks left by the Kraang to his hips and down to his tail. The way his eyes wandered was enough to make him uneasy. He smirked before throwing him into the useless Kraang Droids. His body slowly moving toward the now disoriented turtle as he tried to gain his bearings. He took out a capsule and inserted it in his wristband. "Now, take a nice deep breath for me." He waited for the click and raised his arm, allowing a spray to pour out over the turtle.

Donnie held his breath as soon as he heard him. Knock out gas. He had little time to worry about what the Newtralizer wanted, as he tried to run past him. His head was already spinning as he rose to his feet. His mind was sluggish as he tried to walk past him. He was stopped by the amphibian's arm, clearly the gas taking effect.

The newt mutant did not have to wait long. The gas soaked through the skin and eyes. Telling him to take a deep breath was just so he could limit his movements. The turtle was slowly leaning all his weight on his arm, proving to him that he was sub coming to the toxin.

Noting that he would no longer put up a struggle, Newtralizer threw the surprisingly light turtle over his shoulder. "Rakrakrak! My brother will be extremely pleased." He allowed himself to smile as he opened a portal to Earth and stepped through.


	13. Loss of Innocence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains non-consensual sex aka non-con

Donnie was silent most of the trip, mostly due to the toxin that the damn amphibian used on him. His eyes were focused on the ground, watching it change as he was carried deeper and deeper through the sewers. Yes, Donnie was home and the sewers were unmistakable...yet he could not recognize these ones. They had not been here before.

Newtrazier rolled his eyes. "I know you are awake." He looked back. "Your starting to gain immunity against the Kraang toxin. Just how many times were you struck?" he was curious. It had taken two dozen before he was immune.

Donnie said nothing as his head bounced slightly with each step. He was not sure but he did notice that this time he was able to stay awake. He was even sure he could talk if he tried. He would play it off for now, see if he could get any information as to why Newtralizer would risk his neck to capture him. Did he want Donnie to stabilize the mutagen? No, why would mutagen be of a concern to him?

"I bet you are trying to figure out the why." He stopped and set him down against the wall. It was still a ways to go and he needed a small rest. The newt made sure that he kept the Kraang cuffs on, ensuring he would not be difficult to contain. "Lets just say time is not on your side."

At that Donnie furrowed his brow. Now he was confused. "What does time have to do with this?" he asked, raising his head with much difficulty. "I do not understand you..." his voice trailed off.

The dark amphibian laughed. "It has everything to do with it." He moved toward him, wrapping his tail around him and lifting him into the air. Their eyes meet, something that made a shiver run down Donnie's spine. "It amazes me how intelligent you are but yet you can not see what is so plainly in your face." He crossed his arms. "I do not see what makes you so...desired." He scuffed and turned the other's head from one side to the other. "You are not bad on the eyes..." his gaze lowered to his hips. "You're too thin in my opinion, as if starved." He growled before turning him around to inspect his tail, a wide grin on his face. "Ahhh, so that is why."

Donnie blushed as the other spoke. Had he been okay he would have bit him. Yet here he was, helpless and to the mercy of the other. When he was turned over so the other could see his backside, he struggled a little, noting he was able to move again, if only slightly. "What are yo..." Donnie froze as the other touched his tail. His heart began to pound in his chest.

A wicked grin played on his lips. "Why so silent Donatello..." he pulled him upright, stroking his tail slowly. The olive turtle bit his lip trying to focus on the pain and not how good it felt. The newt licked his lips. Teasing him was just too fun. "I did not know you turtles were so..." he leaned in next to his ear hole. "Sensitive."

The purple clad turtle could not take it. He threw his head back cracking it on the Newtralizer's. The tail that held him released him and he fell to the ground with a harsh thud. Enraged, the newt rose to his feet quickly, pulling him to his feet only to smack him hard with the back of his claw. "I did not want to harm that pretty little face but I am sure my brother will forgive me!" He wrapped his tail around his middle, ensuring he could not escape. He would take satisfaction on what happened to the turtle later.

His head recoiled when he was struck. The hot burn where his skin contacted with the other had not registered until he felt the sting. His eyes glared at him in the darkness, shining a nearly demonic red that caused the amphibian to take a step or two back. A low growl resonated in his chest. "If you ever...ever touch me like that again..." his voice low, deep and clam. "I will remove your hand from your body!"

The black mutant glared back. "I will not be the one to deal with you." He threw him over his shoulder again, continuing down the sewer line. "Big talk from a pacifist. Even had me believing it for a moment, but we both know you don't mean it, that is more Raphael's MO."

Donnie was not sure how to process this information. It just did not make sense to him. How could he know so much about them? Who was this so called brother and why did he seem to desire him? Was his brother another mutant Newt? If so why had they not seen him? Was he another mutant they knew? Did they form and odd little family like the Turtles themselves had?

They turned a corner and an overwhelming scent hit him. The scent of thick yet pleasant musk filled the air. His body reacted, sending a cool shiver down his spine and to his belly where it made a warm pool. He became restless, fearful of advancing ahead but drawn to it. He closed his eyes and held his breath, trying o subdue the effect that the scent was having on him. What was going on?

"Foul stench!" he growled, wrinkling his nose at the putrid stench. He had not expected it to smell like this...horridness. No he had thought that it would just cause a small waft in the air. He looked to the other, noting the reaction and finding it interesting. His pupils were dilated, his scent changing to a pleasantly sweet smell. He was sure there would be minor changes, given the time difference. Had the young turtle been there he would have been affected as well. "Nearly home."

~LRDM~

Casey brought the large bag full of supplies. The lair was silent as he entered, noting that Master Splinter was in the kitchen waiting for him. The rat mutant said nothing as he walked to him. His eyes were cast down in his cup of tea. Casey was worried yes, but he could not imagine what it was like to be a father.

"How are they?" he asked setting the bag down and unloading the fresh food. Donnie gave them quite a bit of money to sustain them, now was only right to return what they could for them, until Donnie was returned.

He raised his head. "Things are going as expected. They are much calmer now but...it is still best if April remain safely away from here." He rose from his chair and walked to him. "I do not think it best for you to be here either but...given that I dread to lose another son I am grateful to you for helping us." He flashed him a smile and moved to the fresh fruits.

"Hey it's the least I can do. You guys are like my second family." He smiled brightly.

Splinter shook his head. "I think it is best Donatello was not here." He looked toward the lab. "Last time, he had not left the lab until they came to their senses. He was working endlessly on trying to help them." He headed up the stairs toward the rooms. Casey followed closely behind.

"I heard that they attacked him once." Casey bit into an apple, he had to skip breakfast in order to make it in time.

The old rat nodded. "They had, though why I can not say. There was always something different about my intelligent son that made him...stand out." He moved to the first door, Mikey's. The door was bolted shut and a plastic window added with a food slot, Donnie's handy work, done to all the bedroom doors. "It is best you stay back." He waited for the teen to move to the railing as he opened the small door to set the fruit in.

It was dark in the room, save for the pair of white eyes narrowed in anger. A deep feral growl radiated for a moment before going silent. In an instant, a sea foam green arm was reaching out trying to grab what it could. Casey drew back, his heart pounding in his chest at the sudden aggression shown from the happy go lucky turtle. Splinter stepped back, out of his reach as he waited patiently for the arm to retract. The moment it did he pressed the door shut and locked it.

"T...This is what they are like? They are nothing more...more then..."

"Beasts?" the rat asked. "While they seem more human then animal, you must always remember that they were born turtles. Aggression during this time is common. They seek to mate and further their bloodlines. They are aggressive by nature, view other males as rivals."

Raph's room was trashed. Splinter did not even get to the door before he was ramming it. Yells and growls rang in the hollow halls. His nostrils flared with each heavy pant. He seemed more demon the beast and his eyes...they showed only rage and hate. He eyed Casey, looking as if he got a hold of him that he would rip him apart piece by piece. "R...Raph?"

"They can not understand you. They are gone to their nature until they satisfy their urges or the season has come to a close." He passed the fruit through the slot and quickly locked it. "My sons....how troubled you must be."

"Is this what they will be like every year?" Casey wasn't sure why none of them ever said anything before. "I could only imagine Donnie like this...considering how even tempered he is..." He just could not see it.

"I have not seen him like this." A confused look was on the boy's face. "I am not sure why but Donatello does not seem affected by this season as the others. If given time I am sure he could come up with a reason as to why. Yet I believe it has to do with his unhealthy habits." He rubbed his beard. "If one is not healthy, one will not have the drive to reproduce. Donatello drives himself each day to do what he can in the short hours in each day. It is not uncommon for him to shut himself away and not know that three days have passed." He moved toward Leo's room. "It has become rarer that I see my intelligent son since the discovery of April and the mutation of her father."

Everyone knew about his promise to her. That he would discover the cure to mutation and reunite her with her father. Donnie had done just that. He had created a cure and they were able to reunite her with her father. Yet in the process, Stokmanfly, Fishface and Rahzar all know the retro-mutagen exists.

During one of the power struggles, Shredder had set a trap for them, luring them with Karai who had been discovered helping them. She had planned to betray them, lead her father to their hide out when Splinter exposed he the truth of whom she was. Things fell apart from there. She had left to kill Shredder but hesitated. In her hesitation he captured her and set the trap. He planed to use mutagen to change his sons into snake mutants hoping to have them destroy his enemy. Sadly, Karai had fallen instead.

She was mutated, changed into a feral serpent and fled the warehouse. Two children had gone missing, two children he had failed. He looked to his eldest son, how he seemed more beast then the skillful warrior he had trained, far from the wise son he raised. "They are halfway through the season,..." he said softly as he slipped the fruit in.

He seemed to wait, sizing the males up and deciding it not worth it to attack. There was no need to, he was on the other side and they were no threat. No female was present and he would need his strength when one appeared. He took his food and sniffed it, making sure Brown did not tamper with it. Deeming it safe he took a bite and moved swiftly to his hidden treasure. A small purple cloth, a torn fragment of the old mask no larger the size of his palm. It belonged to Purple, the turtle he was waiting for.

He took a deep breath of it, taking in the scent. He felt his blood boil. Blue would have Purple. Purple was Blue's. Red and Orange wanted Purple but they can not have what is Blue's. He nuzzled it. Purple was meant for Blue, fit perfect. Blue would make hatchlings with Purple. He chirped at the thought. Many many hatchlings.

Spliter sat in the center of the room, relaxing into the couch as he thought of what to do. Shredder's timing could not have been any worse. He was unable to look for her given their season starting. He had known when Raphael lunged at Leonardo over him just walking into the room that the season was at a start. While they still had some coherent thought left, he had sent them all to their rooms and sealed them in. It broke his heart to do but in this state they felt little pain, only driven by their need to further their bloodline and state their natural hunger for flesh.

~LRDM~

Newtralizer stood in front of a large steel door. It looked much like one of those doors he had seen in the movies that took place on a ship. With the haze in his mind he could not recall the name. The captor set his captive down and pulled it open. Immediately he drew back, wrinkling his nose. "Foul stench!" he spat out. His eyes turned to the turtle, "Welcome home." A crude smile sent shivers down his mind. He was pulled up by his shell and pushed inside. He stumbled a bit before the door was closed and sealed behind them.

His eyes scanned the area, nearly as big as their set up in the lair but full of Kraang tech, clearly the work of his big amphibian friend. There were rooms up above, 3 in total, lead by a single staircase. His eyes wandered to the kitchen, a new fridge and appliances were present. He frowned knowing they were stolen.

Donnie was soon drawn by a pleasant scent. Closing his eyes he could feel it wrap around him, drawing him like a silent siren leading him to his doom. He looked toward the large blackened room, barred with 2 layers of intertwined iron, clearly made to keep someone in. He was pushed toward those bars, past the common room where a large t.v sat. It held no interest to him. No instead he wanted to try and understand what it was that made the pleasant smell and why it was affecting him so.

"Brother, I have brought you a gift." He reached in his armor and pulled out the spare key. "One I know you are dying for! RAKKA RAKKA RAKKA!" he cried out as he pushed the smaller turtle in. The door slammed shut and was quickly locked. "Enjoy, Donatello." He moved back, content with watching his brother find satisfaction in the other.

Donnie turned, nearly falling when he was pushed. Why his arms were still bound he could not say but he needed to calm his racing heart. Something did not sit well. Something deep rooted bubbled to the surface, warning him to run away, to get out, to escape. Moving slowly, he backed away, toward the door.

There was movement, a large shadow slowly rose before his yellow eyes were seen. Donnie could feel his legs getting weaker, how they were refusing to move because of the impudent scent that clouded him mind. He tried to stay focused but the toxin was still affecting him. Stepping back, he looked up at the larger turtle.

His eyes widened. "Spike..." he could not believe this. "Spike are you okay?" he took a step forward only to see him sniffing the air. A deep content sigh escaped the mammoth turtle as he moved to the smaller one. "Spike what are you..." the look in his eyes...it was familiar. That was the look of a feral animal, the very look his brothers had given when mating season hit. His eyes narrowed...he was only gone a three days...

Of course! How could he have forgotten when Mikey went into Dimention X, when they went in three seconds behind him and 3 months had passed? Three days had passed for him, yet nearly 4 months had passed for them. A chill shot threw him. What had happened to them in those months he was not there? Did April get her father back? Who was watching his lab? Who made sure that Raph and Leo did not kill each other? How was Mikey handling his first season? He was so scared...

~LRDM~

"Hey D, can we talk?" Mikey seemed strangely out of character, but then again since his confession...he had been slightly odd. He closed the door, assuming his brother would listen as he always did. It was odd, talking to his brother, his intended mate no doubt about such embarrassing things as his body changing.

Donnie set the experiment aside and gave a small smile. Leo had left not long ago, he had been pressing him for an answer. He was distracting himself, trying to seem far busier then what he was to prolong his time. "What's up, Mikey?" he asked, standing up for the first time in hours and heard nearly every bone in his body snap back into place. He needed more coffee anyway.

He bit his lip. "Wh...what am I to expect...given that this is my first season?" He asked. He knew he would be on par with the others, that he would be aggressive and attack any and all he deemed a rival. He had seen mating season affect the oldest brothers and he feared so much what would happen when a third turtle was introduced.

"I don't want to hurt the others, I don't want to come out of it knowing I killed one of the others and had no control over it..." he was getting more upset with each word he spoke. His pace quickened and his breaths coming shorter. He was close to hyperventilating when Donnie wrapped his arms around him.

"Mikey calm down okay?" he said softly. "You wont kill anyone." He cooed, trying his bet to calm him down. It never sat well with him if his only little brother was like this. It was not his way, just as it was not Donnie's to turn him away.

Tear stained baby blues looked up at him, kami-sama how they broke his heart each time. "But Raph nearly killed Leo last time..."

"Leo was not ready, nor were we. The fact Leo hit maturity before us shows that he is the eldest. Since we were not mature there was no threat, thus Leo was not as aggressive." He rubbed his brother's head knowing it called him down a lot. "When Raph hit his, Leo was already mature, thus Leo was a threat and Raph acted accordingly."

"But what about me...what about you?" he asked. "When we hit wont we be worse?" he asked, figuring things only escalated with more rivals.

"It will be fine. As long as we are sealed in our rooms at the first signs." He hugged his brother tightly. "Don't worry, no one will do anything they regret."

Donnie moved out of the way, dodging the arm that reached for him. He ducked out of the way, trying to keep his balance with the heavy metal shackles binding his arms behind his back. He nearly lost his balance, falling to on knee in order to stay upright.

Slash was behind him, Looking at his empty hand before growling. Black wanted Purple. Purple smelled wonderful, made Black's blood boil. Black wanted Purple, needed Purple. Black reached for Purple but Purple moved away. Black was mad, made angry sound and tried again. Purple kept moving, dodging. Black was not playing any more.

Slash nearly grabbed him. Donnie stumbled back, tripping over the corner of the mattress and falling on his shell. A small curse escaped his lips. Slash was getting closer. Shifting his weight using his legs, Donnie pivoted, rocking until he was able to flip his legs over his shell. He felt the breeze from Slash's hand as he just narrowly escaped his grasp once more.

Newtralizer clapped. "Bravo, I thought he had you there." A smirk. "Though I doubt you could keep at this much longer. The effects of the toxin are starting to ware you down." He kept his distance, not wanting his brother to see him as an enemy for his mate. "My brother has suffered enough by the Kraang, by your family. So I give him you as my gift. The olive skinned terrapin with legs that run on forever."

Donnie was disturbed by him banter, deeply so. What had they done to Slash that he had suffered? Slash had turned on them, had tried to kill them all one by one starting with himself. What had they done to him to warrant such hate? He kicked off the wall, sliding on his shell past the larger turtle. He was getting slower. Soon he would not be able to keep up.

"Before I came for you, he pleasured himself to the thought of you, just as his old master had." Donnie turned his yes to him. In the dim lit, lit by the few candles in the area, Donnie's eyes glew red looking nearly demonic in origin. The Newt took a step back, finding that even he could fear those eyes, those eyes that seemed to show the hidden hatred for the world.

The turtle glared at him. Oh how he did not expect the fear from the other. When had anyone feared the gentle turtle? He could not be sure but he did not like it. He tried to move and dodge the incoming hand but his wounded leg gave out. His leg buckled, ensuring he could not escape when the large hand gripped his shell.

Black did it! Black had captured Purple. A satisfied chirp was heard as he dragged the smaller turtle back. Black sat upon the soft mound, his legs Indian style as he set Purple in the center. Purple fought, but attempts were weak. Black was bigger, stronger, a dominate alpha male. Black touched Purple's skin, it was soft, much to his delight. His eyes scanning, searching each part of the smaller form, only finding pleasure in the look.

Donnie's fighting was useless. With his arms bound behind his shell, he had no leverage to gain in this position. He was to the mercy of the other. He closed his eyes, trying not to focus on what was to come. What he knew was inevitable. He could feel Slash touching him, tracing his skin lightly. Donnie knew what he was trying to do and the little he had eaten began to raise in his belly. "Spike...please..." He looked up, hoping that some how Raph's beast friend and his confidant was still there.

Black did not understand. Black knew nothing but what was to come. A soft chirp and he leaned in, nuzzling his beloved. Black could feel him trembling. Black could hear his heart racing. A coo. His beak nuzzled the other's. A large hand placed behind his head, cupping it and keeping it in place. His dark beady eyes looked on into those the color of rubies. Black knew the look. Black knew fear. Purple was afraid. Purple did not have to be afraid. Closing his eyes, Black placed his beak on Purple's, pressing them together dispite the moaning protest. Like this Purple could not speak. Arms wrapped tighter around him, pulling him tightly against him.

Once again his lips were taken by force. Yet, he knew it would not take long before...he let the tears build in his eyes. This was nothing like he had dreamed it. How long had he imagined taking April to a lovely beach to let her bask in the sun? How long had he dreamt of kissing her outside of their chaste pecks? How he wished only to see her in a pure white Kimono, walking beside her father down the isle where he stood waiting for her...

The lips pulled away and he could feel the result of it against his thigh. A deep fear embedded in him as he looked at the size of it. The fact there were many bumps and ridges did not ease his worries any. He would be torn apart and there was nothing he could do about it. His body shifted, changed by the lager mutant. He was flipped on his belly, raising his hips in the air. His breathing hitched as he felt the other move above him, one hand on each side of his head. His breaths shallow and quick, his heart was pounding like a war drum in his chest.

He knew it was not Spike's fault. That this was just nature taking it's course, just as he had told his brothers. That he would not blame them if they had taken him by force. That he would see it as nothing more then nature trying to secure it's place. 'I know this is nature taking hold of us. I would not blame any of you for what may happen. I could never hate any of you, it is not in me to do so. I know it is not what you wanted to hear, that I am accepting of what may come, but it is what you need to hear.' He tried to ease their fears, their worry. Yet deep down inside he feared them. He feared what they would do to each other, what they would do to him. Donnie's kind heart could not tell them of his fear for it would bring them no comfort. He would never be able to stand before April again. He would never be what she needed him to be. He was not human, he was born a turtle, he could not change that. 'Try as we may to pretend to be humans, each spring comes the harsh reminder of what we really are. So do not blame anyone for their actions.' He could feel the appendage at his opening as the other turtle lined up. 'This is where our bond as brothers is needed most.'

A harsh thrust forward, the horrifying scream that was ripped from the once silent lips.

Donatello never felt such pain in his life. Even being just a hair from death. Tears fell freely from his eyes as he was pushed into. His thrusts were deep and forceful. Each thrust brought a new wave of pain. The smell of iron hung heavily in the air. The crimson marred the olive of his thighs. There was no pleasure, no joy, nothing but pain and violation. Olive lips moved, uttering the elements in the periodic table in order, mass, atomic weight and who discovered them.

Black felt amazing. Black felt wonderful! Each thrust drove them closer and closer. Black leaned forward, gaining a new position and nuzzled his beak into his mate's neck. Black chirped, wanting his mate to know how he felt. Such joy, such pleasure raced through his heart that he thought he would burst. The pace quickened, his release was coming.

He could feel Spike nuzzling his neck. This was not a cruel beast taking him. Simply one turtle trying to for fill an instinct embedded into them millions of years ago. He clenched his teeth, trying not to cry out again. Spike could not help himself. Just like his brothers couldn't. When the pace quickened, Donnie felt light headed. He did not think he would last much longer. He wanted it to end. He wanted it to be over.

Black could feel it! His thrusts came harder, faster as he gripped his mate's hips with bruising force, his long sharp nails piercing the soft flesh of his thighs causing small trails of crimson to flow. Black grunted with the effort, his eyes turning white as he slammed into him like a feral beast.

Donnie's whimpers turned into pain filled moans. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to bare the pain a little longer. His wrists were pulling at the restrains causing it to dig into his skin. He tried to relax, to focus, to do anything but...it couldn't be helped. He was at the mercy of the other.

Black thrust forward harshly, his seed spilling into his smaller mate. He pumped, ensuring all of it was expelled into his mate. He remained in the blissful after glow for a time before pulling out. His mate was sad. Why he could not say but he pulled him up and into his arms, nuzzling him and licking away his salty tears. Black was happy. It would not belong now before they had hatchlings. Black could not wait.

The olive turtle just lay there, limp and lost to his thoughts. What had just happened to him...he did not know how to process it. For once in his life he did not know where to start. Psychology was a tricky thing, one that was good to use on yourself. If he was counseling someone about it sure he had all the answers yet, one could not counsel themselves. He felt the nuzzle, followed by the affection. Slash was no more then an animal and he could read him like an open book. Nuzzle for love/affection, a lick for forgiveness, chirping for contentment...Donnie knew that Slash could not be held at fault. He did was his body was programmed to and that was the best he could do. Yet, even if all the science can prove to him that there was nothing more he could do, he still felt as if...he were at fault.

Donnie was weak. Unable to dodge toxins, unable to do more then run...he was nothing, he was useless. Even with all that he did, all of it meant nothing. Perhaps his only use was this. This...used body that could not break free of restraint. 'Useless...If only you had been born a female...perhaps then you would be of use to them.' Slash's words rang in his mind. It only made him feel worse. That the only used he would ever have to his brothers now is if he laid back on his shell.

Newtralizer was pleased. His brother seemed quite satisfied and was even affectionate to the smaller turtle. A very small part of him felt a twinge of guilt at the fact he had sent him in not knowing it was his first time. Yet, he figured it was for the best in the end. His brother wanted a mate, deserved a mate and he desired the very turtle he now held so lovingly in his arms. Though he had fought to keep his virtue, they both knew the end result. There was fight in the turtle, a thing he admired greatly. He was looking forward to spending time with him, given that he was his brother's mate and now the Newt's brother as well, they would be spending a lot more time together.

Slash would not be pleased when he came to, but it would not matter. By then it would be too late. The season was barely half over, there was still plenty of time left and he would mate him quite a few times each day, given he is the only option. With in that time his seed should take. Part of him wondered if the boy even knew. Judging by how he act, chances are he didn't. That was fine too, it meant for a fun exchange when he discovered it. He was sure Slash had no idea either. How valuable the light skinned turtle was.

The newt mutant moved, allowing them to be alone as he made his way down the lair to his room. He was jealous to say the least. That his brother was able to have someone like him. It made him fell quite lonesome. Though he would adore a little firefly of his own, he would be happy with what he had done. After all, brothers share.

~LRDM~

Casey rubbed the back of his neck as he stalked through the apartment. Though they now have Mr. O'Neil living in the apartment, Casey came by to check in every now and then. As expected, the middle-aged man opened the door only a crack to see who was there. He was frightened and paranoid, but then again who wouldn't with what he went though. "Casey..." he said looking down each end of the hall. The door shut for a moment and a billion locks were undone before he allowed him in.

April was making dinner as she turned and waved to him. "Hey Red." He smiled as he watched her. Such grace and charm. She may not be as smart as Donnie but damn could she fight!

"Casey, how are they?" she asked as she wiped her hands on the apron she wore. "I'm really worried given that Donnie is not there to help them..." she bit her lip. She wanted to go but no one would let her. For her own good she was sure. Should one of them get out...

He gave her a hug and heard the last of the locks click shut. "Splinter is not doing well. He seems so much older now..." he pulled away, a small frown on his face. "It's bad. They are out of their minds, like feral dogs." He rubbed his arm. "I don't like seeing them like that."

"With Donnie off dimension...I only hope they don't hurt themselves. Yet, even if Donnie was there he would go through the same..." April was cut off.

Casey shook his head. "Splinter does not think Donnie is going through his season. He says Donnie is not healthy enough."

"It's true." They turned to Mr. O'Neil. "When he came to rescue me for the first time...Donatello seemed much smaller then his brothers, given his height and weight." He peeked out the window after hearing the trashcan fall. "The rules of nature promote well being verse procreation. Meaning that his drive is to survive, instead of reproduce."

"It's not like they can reproduce. There are no female turtles. So knowing that what will they do?" she asked, moving back to mix the pasta and sauce.

"Well in the wild, turtles would fight for dominance. Younger, smaller males are at risk for..." he trailed off not wanting to continue. He did not want his daughter thinking about what could be happening to her friends.

She stopped and looked at her father. "Risk for what?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

Kirby was taken back, noting just how much she looked like her mother when doing that. "I...well...they...they will find satisfaction in them."

A deep blush reached her cheeks. "So they would...with each other.." she bit her lip. No wonder Donnie sealed the doors, to be sure no one got hurt.

"This is assuming a female was not present." The elder male moved into the kitchen past the baffled teens.

"What do you mean assuming a female is not? There are no chicks among them." Casey said. He figured the old man lost his marbles.

"No, there is. I mean it's obvious when you look at it but then again he prefers to be called him." He pulled out some milk and poured a glass. He looked to them and narrowed his eyes. "You mean you don't know?" The teens shook their heads. "I thought...given how close you all were that he would have told you that..." he set the milk down. "He shows all the evidence of a female turtle. From his short chubby tail to his larger height."

"Who?" April was hesitant to ask. She did not want to know the answer but she knew that she had no choice but to know. To help him, which ever turtle it was.

Kirby said nothing for sometime before he looked up at them. "I have every reason to suspect that Donatello was born a female. Seeing what I have while with the Kraang I know that mutagen reacts to outside variables, such as why the turtles mutated through human DNA. It is possible that before his mutation, he was a she. Yet, when surrounded by male hormones from 4 other sources, it is possible that it mutated her into a male." He checked to be sure he did not lose them. "Did he not tell you?"

"So you are saying...Donnie could...is...was...a female?!" April felt a bit sick. She kissed a girl! Everything seemed so broken now. The look on Casey's face.

"The fact remains he may not even know himself. I am curious to know which parts he has...." That gained him a dark glare. "What? He may still have to ability to produce eggs. If so, their family will be getting far larger should he be caught in their mating season. During this time...they are animals. It is why Splinter and I agreed it best you do not see them." As much as it hurt to speak this way about the boy who protected his only child when he could not, he had to be sure she understood what was happening and why. "They were born turtles. That is what they are and what they shall always be."

April sighed. Part of her had hoped there was a way the mutagen could be used to turn them human. To cancel out their turtle DNA, but there wasn't. Donnie had been quite clear on that. "What would happen...if he was ever caught by one of them?"

~LRDM~

He tried to focus his breathing. Tried to relax, to ease the pain what little he could. Yet it did nothing to help him. All it did was serve as proof to him that he was noting. From sharp pain, to the weight of the tortoise upon his shell, to the numerous times he had been taken, Donnie could not see straight. The room reeked of musk, sweat and semen. He had lost his fight some time ago. He had fought him, when he went back for a second time soon after the first. He had been sore and broken. Blood and semen ran down his legs. It was a sickening feel, one that made his stomach churn.

The other shifted position, bucking into him and forcing out a pain filled moan. He was relentless, his appetite unending. He felt so much pain from his used and abused body that it was starting to feel numb. It would not be long, the way he was thrusting. He was going to release in him again. Filling him with the sickening reality that he was claimed.

I know this is nature taking hold of us. I would not blame any of you for what may happen. I could never hate any of you, it is not in me to do so. I know it is not what you wanted to hear, that I am accepting of what may come, but it is what you need to hear. Try as we may to pretend to be humans, each spring comes the harsh reminder of what we really are. So do not blame anyone for their actions.' He had said this because he did not want them blaming themselves if they had...with him. They would not have been his brothers then, just mindless beasts. Yet, when his brothers returned he would need to ensure that they did not stress over what had happened. It would weigh on them greatly and tear the family apart. It was best if he just tried to move past it.

A grand idea in theory.

Yet in reality...

He could not easily over come the helplessness, the hopelessness, the over whelming feeling of being used. He knew it had been a few days, though the candles always seemed to remain the same height. As if each time he rested, they were replaced again. He would not put it past Newtralizer to do such a thing. Distorting his sense of time. Recently had his hands been freed, his wrists, raw and marked from the constant rubbing and strain. It did not help much to have his hands freed, the stronger male would pin his sore wrists to the cold ground and have his way. His legs were spread further then he could bare, the other's larger form taking no mercy upon him as he thrust into him. This time he was on his shell, making it easier for Slash to see his face. Donnie could not look him in the eyes. He kept his head turned, refusing to see him as anything more then a feral beast.

Even through all of this there was a single bright side to his fate. His brothers were spared from doing this. Had any of them taken him, Donnie was sure he would not be able to handle it. He would lose himself to the harshest pain he could imagine. Betrayal.

The dark skinned reptile pressed his head into the soft pale neck of his mate. A few more thrusts and his seed was released once more. His hips continued to move, ensuring all of it was expelled into his mate where it belonged. He was exhausted, having taken him quite a few times this day. Yet, he remained inside of him, seeking comfort in him. His scent, his skin, his eyes. Slash loved them all. He was not back to himself, not yet. His need to mate was still the one item in his mind, ensuring that he would father hatchlings when his mate formed an egg.

It took sometime but his breathing returned to normal, relaxed and calculated to keep himself calm. He had to wait this out. Reasoning with him would not work, not until the season had passed. Slash would return and hopefully he could reason with him. Then again there was a strong chance Slash would not want his mate to leave his side. Until Donnie mated again, with another, he was Slash's mate, by the Laws of Nature at least. Would they up hold them given that they are mutants? Or would they side with the laws of humans instead?

His head ached as he felt the other removed himself. A soft sickening pop was heard, ensuring that it was over, for the time being. Once he felt the hands disappear he sat up. A soft hiss, feeling the pain from their...activities. He lowered his head, keeping it down as he brought back the blank expression he dawned since being taken here.

Slash rose on his two legs before moving to gather his mate. In one motion he had him gathered in his arms and carried him over to the bed to rest. He laid Donnie down on his side and took his place behind him. From here he pulled him in closely, resting his large arm over his belly, rubbing it absent mindedly in his sleep.

Donnie could not sleep.

He was afraid.

Afraid that no matter what...

He was never going to see his brothers again.


	14. Father to Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains non-consensual sex, aka non-con

"I don't understand how you could take this so easily." Casey said, baffled by how the old rat was able to just take the information so lightly. He had brought along Kirby to back him with evidence proving what Donatello was. They had been hesitant at first, fearful of how the information would be taken by the old rat but they figured it was best to do so where the others could not hear, given their current state.

"Casey, it does not matter how I feel about this discovery. In the end, the one most affected would be my son." Splinter continued his preparation of his tea. His supply was low, with Donatello not there to restock it. He would not trouble the others in getting something so trivial.

"Well he is actually a she." Kirby said. Shuffling through papers and even some of Donnie's extra notes on mutagen kindly taken from his lab. As long as they were returned Splinter was sure his son would not mind it. "Here is a female Trachemys Scrupta Elegans, the species Donatello has noted that they were before their mutation." Before Casey could ask he turned to him. "The red eared slider." He looked back to the old rat. "It would explain why she is larger then the others. Why her tail is shorter, and why Leonardo and Raphael seemed to go after her during mating season. Deep down, instinctively, they know what she is. Even if they can not process it consciously."

Splinter nodded his head. "Even so, I would prefer you refer to my son as a he. Since he was a child he had shown no aspect of femininity. He identifies as a male and I shall respect such." He placed the leaves in the hot water and allowed the used leaves to flavor the water as much as possible. "He is my son and regardless of what he is I shall love him as I do all my children." The amber eyes looked to the other man. "I am sure you understand Mr. O'Neil, having a child of your own."

Kirby could not deny that. No matter what April did he would always love her. The fact Donatello had done so much for her, had protected her raised his suspicion as to his true intentions but after hearing about April dating Casey, a fact he still did not enjoy much. "I understand completely. I only came to tell you that..." he turned back to Casey. "Would you give us some privacy please? We need to speak father to father. One day you will understand."

This upset Casey but he did understand. He looked to Splinter who simply nodded. Getting up he left the Dojo and went to chill on the couch to play one of the many games Donnie had downloaded on the system.

Kirby waited until he was sure Casey had left before turning back to Splinter. "I only came here to warn you, for Donatello's sake. From what I hear from April, it is him I have to thank for fixing me and protecting her when I could not." He balled his fist, hating the fact he could do nothing to stop them from hurting her. That is was thanks to a mutant teenager. "He is not safe around his brothers. During mating season they will see him as the only option for reproduction. Their aggression will mount and be turned toward each other far worse then it is now. They will kill if they deem it necessary to ensure that they can breed." He bit his lip. "I know they are not blood related, but it would not have mattered if they were...." He sighed. "I want to help him, to repay him for all he had done for my little girl. He didn't have to help us that night, he didn't have to urge the others to help and be pulled into this mess..."

A calm hand was placed on his shoulder.

"There is a reason they left that night. A reason they were lead to that rooftop where he seen you. We were meant to be involved. We were meant to help and protect the world as best as we could." He removed his hand and rose from the ground. He moved to the photo of his family. "If I had not lost everything, I would not have started over in America. I would not have raised my sons who had given me a new purpose." He picked up the photo. "My daughter, Miwa...I had lost her to anger and hatred once more. Yet I must remain strong. My sons need me." He set the photo down and walked over to him. "Fate and repetition of the past go hand in hand. I do not regret my choices. I am sure he does not regret his." He sat back down and poured the tea for his guest.

"It is not about regretting. This is about him. If he is exposed to them then your sons will fight to the death and he will get caught in the crossfire! Do you not see that if he returns home it will be the end of your family?" It was hard for him to tell a father it was best to keep his child from him. Kirby knew this feeling. Even as a monster he knew it was best if she stayed away from him, for her own sake.

Splinter narrowed his eyes. "Your concern for my family is appreciated but I shall not abandoned any of my children. I am sure that there is a way for them to coexist. Nature is not so cruel that she would allow such horror to exist. I will handle it when the time comes. I shall not let my child suffer!"

Kirby was taken back by the sudden outburst of the last statement. He could see something ominous in those old amber eyes but...what he could not say and it terrified him. He hoped it was not what he thought he had planned. Something unspeakable..."Very well...I have done my part." He stood collecting his notes and such. "I can only pray that he is prepared to know what he truly is." With that, Kirby left.

~LRDM~

They stood in the throne room before their dark master. Their fear of him was great, their loyalty based solely on surviving. Rahzar, Fishface and Stockman-Fly all bowed in unison to their lord, The Shredder.

He stood calmly, looking out at the city's glowing lights. His eyes narrowed and his anger well hidden. Yet, he knew they all could understand the rage he felt. His daughter, their ally was mutated into a horrifying monster. He wanted her back at all cost and he would not rest until she was returned to him as she was. "Well?" he said in his deep voice.

Each of the flinched, looking to each other for one of them to go and chose what to do. None of them were brave enough to insight his wrath upon them alone. The Shredder was particularly harsh to them now that his daughter had been mutated all thanks to the turtles.

His eyes narrowed again, waiting was not his strong suit. With out warning he threw a kunai at them. It embedded in the ground before the fish mutant. "You try my patients."

He gulped before standing up. "We do not know where she is. We have combed the city in search of her. We have tracked her, following her scales and shedding skin but still each time she eludes us." He was thrown across the room and slammed into the stonewall.

"Stockman..." he turned to the coward of the group. "How is the antidote coming?" He had put him in charge of it since he Karai had been mutated. His eyes glared at the smaller male. He was the most scientific of the group, the only reason he still breath air.

A cowardly buzz was heard as he twitched about. "Well...I have come very close but...you see...something is missing and..." Shredder raised his hand to punish him when he blurted it out. "But I know where to find the mizzzzzzzzzzzing ingredient!" he covered his body with his hands waiting for the assault. When it did not come he slowly relaxed, questioning the Shredder.

"And where exactly can we find the missing ingredient?" He stood before him at full height, intimidating the smaller male. He took some satisfaction in his cowering.

The fly mutant buzzed about nervously. They had all made a pact that they would remain silent to the Shredder about the fact retro-mutagen existed. That when they ever ran into Donatello again they would force him to create more. Yet, here and now he feared for his life. Screw them, he wanted to live. "The retro-mutagen already exizzzzztzzzz." He could see the Japanese male wanted more. "The turtles...the one called Donatello..."

"The purple one?" he asked. Yes he noted that that turtle seemed to be the intelligent one of the group. Weak and foolish but his mind was something even he had to respect. "He has not been spotted for months..." he crossed his arms. "How can I be sure this is even true?"

Rahzar stepped in. Perhaps now he could get Shredder to back them and snatch the cure for himself. "Master, I have heard that the Turtles have been searching for him. I did not think much of it at the time but now it would seem the timing could not be more perfect given that we could capture him ourselves."

"It does not seem as though he would have simply left. Find out where he is and..." before Shredder could finish he was interrupted once more.

"Whoooh! You don't have ta look too far there! Me and RedRhino here were able to dig that info up about a week ago!" The Warthog mutant stepped in, wanting in on the cure as well. "Seems ta me like we can strike a bargain." He was not going to be a disgusting pig for the rest of his life. "We will tell you where he is if you swear once the cure is made that we get some too! We don't work for free!"

"Is true!" the Rhino mutant crossed his arms. "We will be wanting cure. If we get Donatello we want become human." He looked to the other. They were close since their mutation. It was sad really, that they were resorting to aiding the Shredder.

The dark master narrowed his eyes. "Very well then. To the ones whom bring me him alive and unharmed, they will be second to have the cure." He pulled Stockman to his feet. "You will watch closely to what he does. Make every note of every move he makes! Once we are able to recreate the cure, we will eliminate him and the others!" he threw him to the ground. "Am I clear?"

"Transparently!" they all said in unison.

He turned to the others. "So, where is he?"

Bebop smirked. "Rumor has it that our buddies the Kraang had him. Wanted him to do some funky stuff with the mutagen. Yet, before he could finish, some giant Lizard..."

"Comrade, Newt is amphibian. Is common mistake." Rocksteady corrected as he tapped his shoulder.

"Alright, Amphiniantie. Anyway, he busted up the joint and tore into the Kraang, decided to drag mister Turtle off and is somewhere in the sewers." He tilt his head to the side. "Where he is we don't know exactly but all we gotta do is check all the sewers north of Seventh Street. He was last seen jacking a pizza near the area."

"Is this information reliable?" it seemed a bit farfetched.

Rocksteady nodded and threw a Kraang droid before them, a beaten Kraang inside of it. "Tell him." He cracked his knuckles.

"The turtle known as Donatello was to do for Kraang what is known as stabilize the mutagen for Kraang's use. Before the turtle known as Donatello could complete his task, the one known as Newtralizer came and took him from Kraang." His eyes shifted about and he screeched.

"Where are they now?" Shredder exposed the blades on his gauntlets and pressed them to the Kraang's face.

"The turtle known as Donatello's location is unknown to Kraang. The one Known as Newtralizer is one of Kraang's failed mutations." He screeched again. "Kraang Prime has asked of Kraang to offer aid to the one known as The Shredder. Kraang Prime urges the one known as The Shredder to assist in what is known as capturing the turtle known as Donatello for the Kraang."

"Why should I help you? What is there to gain from all of this?" He cut the Kraang's cheek. "What guarantee do I have you will not stab me in the back?"

"Kraang has what the one known as The Shredder wants. Kraang has the one known as Karai."

~LRDM~

He had had enough. The large tortoise had been watching him as he moved about the room a few hours after their last rutt. His eyes constantly following him, watching closely that he did not do anything he did not approve of. Donnie had not wanted to do anything but stay as far from him as possible and move about. He was tired of laying down, he needed to move.

Yet, no matter what he did, the other's eyes bore into him. Even his innocent tapping on the metal bars brought a stern look. Though he was testing the metal, noting it was a fine substance made to be strong to keep him trapped. Donnie could not be sure what he had done to cause the spur of lust. He had followed the bars and found a weak link within the welding. The seam had snapped due to tension near the front of the cage, near the table.

While he was inspecting it, he felt the other looming behind him. He turned to see what was going on only to have the large hands turn him back and press him into the table. Donnie fought off the hands, moving to turn around and face him again. Once more the larger hands returned trying to turn him back. Donnie smacked them away, eyes narrowing. "No." he said sternly. He was tired, tired of being used by him. Yet, again the hands returned, rougher this time. The smaller turtle was able to kick him back, flip around and place a hard smack across the face of the other with enough force to turn his head. He soon regretted it when he heard the deep rumbling growl emitted from him.

It happened so fast. Donnie did not know he could move so quickly given his size, yet he had.

Donnie gasped for air that just would not come. The large tight hand around his small thin throat was the cause. He clawed at it, trying to force him to release his throat so he could breathe. Slash had him pinned to the table on his shell, legs spread as he rutted into him. His mind was growing cloudy, hazy as his attempts became more desperate as time passed.

His mind wandered to his brothers. What would they do? What would they say if they seen him like this? So weak, so vulnerable? Leo would lecture him, tell him he needed to practice more on his training rather then the lab and his experiments. Raph would be livid. He would beat Slash half to death before yelling at Donnie for even letting it happen. Mikey...Mikey would not understand. His kind heart just would not process something so terrible. Tears stained his eyes as darkness began to close in. He was going to die like this. Having been used one last time. Never seeing his brothers again.

Air suddenly rushed into his lungs, causing him to cough and choke on it. The darkness was banished as he felt the familiar sickening feeling of being filled. His eyes widened, somehow feeling as if this time it was different then the others. Something...was off.

Slash gave a satisfied snort, having got his way and shown his mate that there was not such a thing as no. He moved to gather his mate only to find him cowering away from him. Oh he did not like that. The black turtle gripped olive's ankle and yanked it hard. This caused a small pop followed by the grinding of shell against wood. He gathered his mate whom squirmed and pushed, stopping it with a deep growl, the same as before. Donnie ceased all attempts at escape. Fearing that he really would kill him next time.

The large reptile laid him in the bed once more, ensuring now he got proper rest. They had been at it for over a week and he knew that he was carrying by now. It was only a matter of time before it showed. He nuzzled his mate, showing affection and trying to apologize for the dark marred skin around his neck. He could smell the distress upon his mate and it upset him to no end. Stress caused soft eggs. Soft eggs would never survive. He knew why he was stressed. Given that Slash had lost his temper after being disrespected by the smaller turtle when he was taking what was his. He should not have choked him. Yet, now he could see that the olive skinned terrapin was submitting to him.

He began to inspect his mate's belly. Wondering just how many hatchlings they were to expect. He was hoping for many hatchlings to secure his bloodline. Oh, he could not wait. He ran his beak along his belly, chirping softly as he took in the new scent. He was satisfied.

Donnie just lay there on his shell, fearful to do anything else and cause another surge of hormones. Recently he had not been feeling well. Given that he refused most meals and the multiple times they had...done their activities it was no surprise that he was feeling down. Donnie was unsure why the other had such an obsession with his belly. It was not like he was going to become impregnated. Being a male such was impossible. He just figured the other could not tell or did not care. Simply put the feral reptile knew what the end cause was and acted as if it were a fact. He could only hope with how he was acting that he could cease his attempts at procreation. Part of Donatello felt bad for Slash. Driven by instinct to reproduce and believing so much that he had...

Don't get him wrong, Donnie wanted children. He wanted to be a father and raise little ones all his own. He always had a weakness for them. Truth be told in the late nights he spent working and tinkering he had thought of what his and April's children would be like. It always brought a blush to his cheeks when he thought children with her eye color. How beautiful they would be? He never recalled imagining any of the children with his eye color. Donnie was never a fan of how red his eyes looked. Always finding them far more sinister then anything else.

Slash churred, placing his hand on the plastron above his belly. A hatchling...after all these years he would have them, beautiful little hatchlings with their mama's light soft skin. He laid down, resting next to him and cooing. Donnie would have mistaken it for singing if he didn't know any better.

He began to growl softly, letting Donnie know the Newtralizer was there, more then likely bringing their meal. One sniff and he felt sick. He hoped their...activities had not left him ill...


	15. When Seasons End

Newtralizer stood there before them. His eyes locked on Donnie with an odd fascination that made him uneasy. As if he knew something Donnie did not. It made him very uneasy to have the mutant looking at him...as if he were some sort of experiment. He shuttered.

For once he was grateful for Slash being there, for he seemed to pick up on Donnie's unease and stood between them, eyes dark and a deep, feral growl emitted from his chest. He stood there, defensive of his mate. This only served to amuse him more. Without warning Slash ran for the mutant, uncaring of the thick iron that stood between them. The amphibian stepped back as the iron bowed under his strength. Quickly he injected him with a syringe, pouring some unknown green liquid within him.

Slash pulled away, glaring at him as he took weak steps toward Donatello. He was growing weaker, his vision distorted, walking in stumbled steps. He tripped over the blanket, falling only a foot from where his mate lay watching. His dark hand, reaching out to him. Donnie could see the worry in his eyes. The worry to ensure that he was safe, that he was unharmed. He felt for him. Knowing the kind of worry he felt. With a soft sigh, Donnie took his large hand and nuzzled it. A sign to show his gratitude and to reassure the larger mutant that he would be okay. Slash smiled slightly, happy to finally receive affection from his chosen mate. His eyes closed and hand went limp.

"That was a powerful dose." He said as he set his hand gently down on the floor. His eyes looked to the other whom opened the door. He stepped inside cautiously, careful not to wake the giant.

"It needed to be done. Had I tried to remove you without it, I would not be standing here." He scuffed as he threw a metal bar around Donnie's neck. The cold metal wrapped around his throat until it locked together. A small green light indicating that it was active. "That collar will ensure you do not escape our little home. The moment you try to leave, it will deliver a painful shock, causing you to lose consciousness, once you do the collar will shut off. The process will then repeat until I stop it." He smirked. "Best to behave little turtle."

Donnie narrowed his eyes. How could he argue with that? "What do you want?" he asked. His voice low and displeased. He was not sure what to make of this. The mutant was too hard to read.

He motioned for him to follow. Against his better judgment he did. Slowly rising to his feet he followed behind him. He had not been out of the cell since he was brought here. That, according to him, was weeks ago. Slowly he emerged to look about. The Newt had been busy. There were new wires flowing from the ceiling, every so often a light blinked green. It was Kraang tech of sure. Most likely stolen from their maker. "Insurance." He told him as he walked toward a large pair of doors. A towel was placed in his hands. "Bathe. You need it, I assure you that." He let him enter alone and shut the door behind him.

It was a make shift bathroom, tiles had been placed in a small circle under the spout. Here he could see that it turned one way, unfortunately not the way he would have preferred. It was sealed off, no way of escape for all the walls were made with thick cement. It was bear for the most part. Just a small metal table, rusty from the water, which held a few bottles of soap. It looked much like their shower area before he began work on it at the young age of 13. It took him nearly a year to finish, but he was finally able to add hot water for them. Needless to say he was praised for that. He swore Mikey bathed everyday for a week after.

He allowed himself to smile though he soon felt an uneasy pressure on his belly. The turtle was not sure why but he held his tummy and tried to calm his nerves. That's all it was. Nerves. He was captured by the enemy...subjected to...torment. He closed his eyes. Trying to ignore the pressure. Instead he moved toward the make shift shower to rinse himself of weeks worth of filth.

He turned the rusty lever and out poured brown rusty water. He did not turn away in disgust. It was no different then what they had before he learned how to correct it. He watched it pour out and down the drain.

It took quite some time before the water was clear. He stepped into the water, not caring to test it. It was ice cold, as if it was coming from the frozen river. Donnie was grateful for that. Ice would numb his pain, ease the sore muscles and calm his mind. He looked down. Watching as the water to the drain turned a sick green before mixing with other foul colors. Pink was the one that stood out, left over blood from the rough assault upon him. He brought his hand up and to his throat. The skin was still tender but the cold water saw to it that he did not feel pain for long. The metal had long ago turned cold as ice.

He reached for the soap. Slowly scrubbing himself clean. He was not sure how long he was in there or how long he spent scrubbing his body but so he was covered in several angry red marks from where he scrubbed too hard or too long. Subconsciously trying to rid himself of the filth. Part of him knew he would never be able to rid himself of the filth. It was bound to him now, forever until he passed into the next world and even then.

His hand trembled. Not from the cold, but from what his brothers would do when they found out? What would they do? What would they say? He worried. Worried for them now that they were in their heat, alone and far from where he could help them. He only hoped that Splinter was taking care of them as best he could but that would never be enough.

~LRDM~

There was nothing but silence and darkness. Only the sound of soft echoing feet could be heard. So much different from the loud and rambunctious home only a few months before. How quickly things change. She stopped and looked around. Her eyes turning to the lab. The light was still on. No one turned it off. It was...a small comfort to them. As if Donnie was still in there working on small projects. She could see him, as she often did. Working silently on some project or gift for her. She held out the shell cell. It was the first one he made. With her in mind he worked hard to make it like one of the ones you could buy. He had been so proud of it with his dorky grin wide with a small blush on his face.

April cared for him. Deeper then the others he...was her best friend. If it had not been for him...she and her father would still be captured by the Kraang. He went out of his way to help her. To make her feel at home. She knew his feelings for her. She was no fool. Yet, she did not feel that way toward him. She cared for him and loved him but...not the way he would hope. April thought she had made that clear to him.

The lab was as he had left it. Papers scattered about in an organized chaos that only he understood. A small hand moved over the notes she could never hope to understand. Stopping at the hand written schedule he had set up for work. She felt sorry for him. Working to resolve people's problems for ten or more hours a day while working on his own projects. All to pay for them all. Seven people he payed for alone, working late into the night and early morning so they could have a better life. Always with a smile on his face when the others entered the room.

He was tired. So often struggling to keep pace with his brothers. Trying all he could to stock Mr. O'Neil's bank account with money for them all to live on. Her father had set up a second account where he transferred their money for safe keeping. He had not known all Donnie had done for her. She set the paper down. How could they all be so blind to him. To everything he had done for them?

She sat in his chair. Looking over the Lab he had put together with his own bare hands. Everything gathered from the junkyard and put back together. Tears filled her eyes. He was amazing. How he was able to do so much with what little he had. Had he been a human...Donnie could have done so much good for the world. "Donnie..." she rose quickly from the chair, knocking it back and into another table. A thump was heard as a book fell open upon the floor. April ran to it, hoping she did not hurt it. She looked down at the handwriting she knew so well.

"It's been 3 days since I was allowed back into training. Leo is hesitant to allow me back since I could barely stand before. Raph, you know him, he blew a fit and started an argument with Leo. Mikey was concerned but encouraged them to let me train again..."

April closed it. This was personal to Donnie. It was his thoughts...his dreams...his inner most feelings. She should not pry into them...yet...

"I am weaker then them. I know this and so do they. I am sure, given my symptoms; it is a severe case of Asthma. I know it is hard for them to understand. When I train I can feel my airways tighten and my chest burn. They don't see the signs. Not until I collapse and begin my coughing fits. What good am I to them if I cant even last long in training?"

She flipped some pages. "I've done it! I have studied enough to make my own medication and it seems to work! My test run worked well, they think I have out grown it. I tend to keep it that way."

"I seen an Angel today. Hair as red as the setting sun. Eyes as blue and welcoming as the summer sky. A voice as soft as a mother's song. I never knew someone like her could exist. Her laugh makes my heart soar, ringing like bells in my ear. Oh and her smile...Mona Lisa is put to shame." She began to blush. Is this how he saw her?

"April! Her name is April! My Angel has been named and what a lovely name it is! She is staying with us! Until her father is found. I vow I will not rest until he is safe again."

She flipped some more pages. "I want to die." Tears began to pour from her eyes as she read on. "She hates me. How could I have been so foolish?! I let mutagen fall on her father and now...now she wont even look at me. She looked at me like I was a monster...like the rest of the humans look at us. I want to die so badly! I can not stand the pain! I cant get the look out of my mind! I failed her!" she could see tear stains on the paper. "I have to live on. I need to because no matter what I do I have to protect her. Even if she does not want to ever see me again. I vow to make it up to her! I will bring her father back!"

"I see the way they look at each other. She looks at him the way I look at her. Casey...I don't hate him...not really but...he will take her from me. All my efforts...all the times I helped her...and she looks at him the way I long for her to look at me. Please...don't take her from me..."

"I know now...after sensei dropped me to the ground a thousand times over. There is nothing I can do to make her look at me like she looks at him. All I want is for her to be happy. Even if it is not with me. She loves him. I can see it. She could have a life with him. What more could she get from me but a place in the sewer, hidden in the shadows far from the light. She deserves to shine. All I want is to make her happy...Even if it is not me who is doing it."

She felt the tears falling from her eyes. "I thought I could do this. I thought I could handle her being with him. I can't...it hurts too much...the pain, the tears, the hopeless false smiles, I had to sound proof the lab to keep my pathetic cries from them. I want to die. To end this suffering."

She closed the book. She could not read any more. Never did she think that he feel this much toward her. April had only though he was crushing on her, the only human female he ever seen. Yet...she was wrong about him. How could she have been so blind? All he had ever done was love her and care about her and she tossed him away and lead him on, never out right saying that she did not feel that way for him.

There was a soft bang coming from the upstairs. Slowly but surely, she made her way to the stairs. She was hesitant, fearful of what she would find. There was more soft noise as she moved closer. She was in front of Raph's room. A soft knocking was heard and there was a heavy scent of musk. Her nose wrinkled, it was foul. Oh was it a horrid stench, worse than Mikey not bathing for a week.

She moved toward the door, toward the small metal door. The rasping grew louder, like someone knocking on the door. Hesitantly, hand trembling, she reached it out. The metal scraped against each other as it slid open. The rasping stopped. The door was fully opened as she lowered herself down to look through, moving closer to see into the dark room.

"APRIL!"

She screeched in surprise and flew back, tripping over the rail and falling toward the ground. Lucky as she was, she never hit it. Strong and familiar arms held her as green eyes glazed up at a very disappointed Rat face. "April, what are you doing here?! DO you not know how dangerous this time of year is? For you most of all?!"

Tears welled in her eyes. "I know Sensei I know it's just...I...I was so worried and...Donnie isn't here to make sure they are okay like last year...Casey told me how aggressive they were and Raph..." her eyes widened. "Raph spoke! He said my name!" She scrambled out of the Rat's arms. Flying up the stairs to him. "Raph?"

"April are ya okay?" he asked, a worried look on what she could see of his face through the door. "Man ya shouldn't be down heres. Ya know what we're going through..."

"Yes but you wouldn't be able to talk if it were still happening." She smiled, happy to hear one of their voices again. "How do you feel?"

"Honest or gumdrops?"

"Honest." She wanted to know.

"Horny as fuck." He sighed. "But not enough to fight anyone. I thinks I'm coming down. How bout the others?" he grumbled. "Shit, how is Mikey? It was his first season..." he wasn't so little anymore.

Splinter looked inside the younger's door through the slit. There was sniffling and a bit of crying but he was fine. It was a difficult thing to get used to and the first was always the hardest to overcome. Yet he had done it. He was fine just as the others.

One by one the doors were opened and the horrid stench grew far worse. Splinter escorted her to the dojo and ordered the boys to clean themselves. All 3 went to the showers, cleaned their rooms, and scrubbed everything down until it was bearable again.

They met in the dojo a few hours later, April was practicing her Katas. Each of them seemed so nervous. Mikey looked like he was going to cry again. It was sad.

"Is there any more news of Donnie? Of Karai?" Leo asked, there was hope in his voice. As if he expected Donnie to just walk out and surprise them with Karai. He knew it was impossible to wish for such a thing, yet still he could hope.

"There is nothing." April's voice was quite low now. Sorrow filled her as she tried to recall anything that would help in the past few months. "Casey and I have been searching none stop for something, anything but...we cant find anything of Karai but sightings and scales."

"Donnie?" Mikey's small voice asked. He was more withdrawn then normal. Staying back and not speaking loudly.

"No one knows." She bit her lip, wanting to be hopeful but...it had been three months.

"Get that look off'a ya face!" Raph snapped. "Donnie aint dead! He aint gonna be dumb enough ta be dead!" Donnie would survive. That's what he was, a survivor. He overcame his illness years ago.

"I agree with Raph." Leo spoke up. "Donnie is not going to go down that easily. He is a trained ninja and just as deadly as we are." He needed to reassure them. "Suit up, we leave in ten. Our goal is to find anything we can and this time..." his eyes turned white. "We do not hold back!"

~LRDM~

The water was turned off. There was only so much cold a turtle could take and his movements were slowed because of it. He needed to rest, warm up before he could think of even doing anything that would remotely help him. It sucked to be a reptile. A deep sighed left him as he tried to wrap as much of himself as he could in the towel and make his way to the door. Yet, he was stopped by the mirror.

The image was...not of himself. The turtle's sink was paler looking whiter then green. The shell was far to large for his thin form and the eyes. The eyes seemed to shine much redder then he ever seen before. Though...there was still an unusual glow about him. Something he could not place that made him...different.

A shadow moved behind him. His slowed movements cause delay and he was unable to block the tail from wrapping around his neck. The newt mutant slowly moved forward. His eyes narrowed and a sly grin was on his face. "I thought you would have suspected something. Being as intelligent as you are." He slammed him into the wall, cracking his head against it. "Let alone take a cold shower, which would have impaired your movements." The mutant grabbed his arms, easily able to manipulate them. "Depleted your straight..." His body pressed against Donnie, and the turtle's eyes widened. "Now just getting it? I guess the cold slows your mind as well." His free hand, gripped his hip, hoisting him into the air just high enough. "I did not get you just for him. You are not like the others..." he made their eyes meet, looking into the ruby eyes of the mate he would have for his own season.

He could not go thorough this again. He would not be use again by this...this bastard. Spike did not know what he was doing. Donnie can forgive him for that. Yet, Newtralizer...he knew exactly what he was doing, what he had planned. Donnie had not taken this into consideration. That he was here for more than one reason. "Don't..." his voice coked out. He couldn't handle it. "Please..." something deep down told him to fight it. To do whatever he could to stop this.

"Begging..." his lips pressed against Donnie's, tongue slipping past and prodding within his mouth. Claiming everything and sensing the scent of Slash from him. His own cock, emerged. Pressing against the terrapin's leg. There was a gasp and a weak struggle but in the end the amphibian won out. "Beg me more..."

Donnie shuttered. This thing...he didn't care about him. He got off from his begging his misery. These type of beings...there was no reasoning. There was a thought. Deep down within him. Something primal, something awakening within him. Chirp. So Donnie did. He chirped. Ignoring the other's call for silence, Donnie chirped louder and louder. He was not sure what he was doing or why it was necessary. He just followed his instincts and let them guide him.

The tail around his neck tightened. Eyes now narrow as he slammed him to the ground. "Silence your damn chirping!" he raised his hips, lined himself with the turtle. "No one is going to..." a large black and engulfed his head, lifting him from Donatello.

"You forgot to lock the door...brother." The deep voice snarled as he threw him into the wall, effectively knocking him unconscious. White eyes turned to look down at him. Donatello immediately looked away, exposing his neck to him. Slash sighed and lowered his head. "I smell myself on you..." there was pain in his voice.

"It is not your fault...you didn't know what you were doing..." a growl silenced him.

"Let's go. I do not wish to stay here." Slash rose, holding out his hand for Donnie to take. The smaller turtle refused it. Standing on his own and looking toward the amphibian. He was breathing normally, possibly would wake up with a concussion but he would be fine. Slash took hold of the collar around his neck, breaking it in two without much effort.

He rubbed his neck and gave a soft thank you. "I will be sure to let the others know what you did for me..."

"Others?" Slash glared at him. "There will be no others. You are mine now Donatello. You're not going home." He loomed over him. Making it clear that he was to call the shots.

"I am not yours! I belong to no one!" He snapped. Sizing him up and knowing he could not go against him and win. Still he felt the need to lash out. He was prisoner far too long and he would be damned if he was prisoner again to the being who...

"You are my mate! I claimed you and I will decide what you can and can not do!" He snarled and Donnie fell to his knees, neck exposed once more to him. "Look at you...How far do you think you would get like that?"

"I want to go home..."

"I am your home now." He rose to his feet. Grabbing the smaller turtle by his arm and pulled him along gently toward the door and out into the sewers. There were plenty there to make a home. With Donnie's help, it would be perfect.


	16. Reunion

He was pulled behind him like a toddler. His legs struggled to keep up, breaths coming in gentle pants as he struggled to keep up. Each step falling short, the larger male yanking him along just as he took the next step. Pain shot through him, with each movement and motion. His lungs began to burn until he just couldn't take another step. Exhaustion hit him, causing him to stumble and start to fall.

Slash grabbed him, catching him before any damage could be done and set him off to the side. Panting and coughing horridly as if sick. He placed his hand on his forehead, no fever. "Are you feeling well?" he asked. Coughs now a gentle wheezing. He was starting to worry.

Donnie did not speak to him. Just turned his head away, trying to get his breathing under control. It had been months since he had taken his pills to keep his condition in check. Now he had no way to get to them and he was not going to let Slash know his weakness . He would exploit it, use it against him.

A deep growl emitted from him, Slash slammed his fist against the wall. "Damn it, Donatello!" he snapped. "I did not ask for you to be thrown in that cage! I didn't ask to...to rape you!"

"DON'T!" he hugged himself, making himself look so much smaller. "Don't say that..." he didn't want to hear it. Didn't want to look at it that way. Slash didn't mean to...he didn't know...it wasn't under his control... "You were not yourself...it wasn't you." His voice was low, rough from the coughing.

He sighed, so unsure of what to do or say to him to make it better. Slash was at a loss. What could he do? What the fuck could he do to help? "Donatello..." his voice was low, sweet even as he knelt down to him. "I made that cage to keep from hurting anyone. I never intended it for a prison..."

"Yet you have the choice now..." he spoke softly. "I want to go home..." he looked up at him, eyes glazed with tears as he tried so hard to keep them from falling. "Spike...please..."

"I cant." He scooped him into his arms. "We will make a new home for ourselves. On the east end, an abandoned station that I had planned to tell my brother about." He began to walk, carrying his mate bridal style through the sewers. "It will need some work, but there is an old train there, it will be a good place to sleep, bend a few of the seats..."

He went on about the plans he had. Too much for him to just be thinking of the top of his head. Donnie could tell this though had crossed his mind frequently, with him in the equation each time. Slash...cared about him. That much he could tell. Yet the fact he would not let him go home was unnerving. He belonged at home. Belonged with his family. Why couldn't he just let him go home?

"...There is plenty of room, just needs to be cleared out, find a tv and maybe even an old mattress...knock down the wall that divides the two rooms upstairs and make it one large one..." Slash smiled. "We can be happy..."

'We can be happy...'

"Put me down..." he whispered. When the other had made no attempt to do so he squirmed. "Put me down please!" Slash obeyed, putting him down just in time for him to vomit into the pool of sewage. Letting out the little bits of food he had consumed. Frame trembling with the force of it. Eyes pouring out tears and his arms wrapped around his belly.

Slash rubbed the back of his shell, comforting him and trying to ensure he was okay. "Donatello...are you sick?" perhaps nerves? Illness? Something more?

When there was nothing left to expel from his stomach he broke into sobs. Covering his mouth trying to stifle the soft cries. He didn't want a life with him. Alone with the tortoise whom...constantly reliving the days in that cell...He wanted his father. Wanted his Brothers to hold him and tell him it was okay. That he would be fine and it was all just a horrid dream. He wanted to go home.

~LRDM~

Leo moved closely to her, she was cornered, eyes glaring at him as he tried to keep her calm. Karai...she was far gone but she had called him by name. "Karai please..." They had tracked her this far, following shed skin and scales. She had been relaxing in the sun just under the alley when they approached her.

"Leo..." her voice was soft, raspy as she nudged her nose against his hand. Smiling softly at him and the others. "Where were you?" She had been searching for them. Searching for Donatello since she learned of the cure for mutagen.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well...mating season hit..." she snickered at him. "Come on Karai please..." a blush made its way to his cheeks. He had hoped to spend the time with Donnie...

She looked to them. All of them could understand what she was going through, how people screamed when they saw her. All but April and Casey that was. "I have not ssssseen him...but he isssssss no longer with the Kraang."

"I knew it! Donnie escaped!" Mikey cheered before he was hit in the head by Raph.

"If he got out why aint he home?" Raph pointed out. Clearly not please to know that Donnie was out there somewhere on his own. Somewhere they had no fucking clue about. Needless to say he had deeply hoped that Donnie would have made it back to them after mating season.

She curled her tail, moving toward Raph. "He wasssss taken by sssssomeone elsssse." She turned back to Leo. "Ssssshredder Knowssss. He placed a bounty on Donatello'ssssss capture. He knowsssss he created the Retromutagen." Her eyes looked hopeful, that Donatello could cure her too. "He alone knowsssss how to cure usssss. Thossssse afflicted by the mutagen. He issss the underground'sssssss mosssst wanted."

The brothers looked at eachother, worry clearly written on their faces. If everyone was after Donnie...their jobs were that much harder. That much more difficult to find him and keep him safe.

"I only had the one canister...we went to find my father and we were attacked..." April spoke up, biting her lip. "I...If I had only had more...or knew it took only a single drop...I would have saved it for you..."

Casey took her hand. "I doubt even Donnie knew it would take one drop..."

Karai slithered over to her, placing a snake head on her. "I know you would have." She gave a small smile before looking back to Leo.

"Can you tell us anything about who took him?" Mikey wanted to know, needed to know. If Donnie was out there...he had to find his older brother!

She sighed softly. "I'm afraid I can not. There wasssss no mention of who took him. Only that he wasssss not with the Kraang." Karai looked to Mikey with sorrowful eyes. "I wisssssh I knew more."

"You have helped enough." Leo said softly. Wishing she would come home. She refused. Stating she was too much of a threat to them like this. That it was better this way.

"I ssssshall keep visual. I know Sssssshredder'sssssss favorite placesssss. I will provide more information when I can."

"Be safe Karai."

"Asssss you."

~LRDM~

"What do we do now?" Raph asked. "Everyone is looking for 'im. The Kraang, Shredder and his Goons, Han and his Purple Dragons wanting Shredder's reward..." He threw a rock across the roof top. "Da fuck do we do Leo?! We don't even know who da hell has 'im!"

"I don't know Raph..." He wished Donnie were here. He would be able to tell them what to do, how to do it, where to go from there. What to do, where to start. He felt useless, hopeless. What kind of leader didn't even know how to lead his brothers?!

A hand was placed on his shoulder. "Relax Fearless, I aint gonna hurt ya." Raph was being gentle but serious. "Donnie is out there, alone 'n fighting for his life. None of us have been gone dat long. Ever. We need ya to keep calm and think. I aint smart, we all know that. None one here is smarter then Donnie. We gotta put dat aside cuz Donnie aint here. Now come on, let's head home and plan."

Leo smiled, feeling for once in months that Raph was finally backing him on this. That he was supporting him. "Right, everyone back to the lair for pizza. We have information and we need to tell Splinter." He looked around and noticed a face missing. "Where is Mikey?"

~LRDM~

He ran as fast as his feet could carry him. Jumping over the trash as he made his way through the sewers. He heard him! He heard Donnie! The younger turtle stopped, breathing heavily as he strained to hear him again. Faintly he heard the echoes. He knew that voice anywhere. It was him! It was Donnie! He knew it he just knew Donnie would get away from them! He was hiding that was all. Perhaps he got lost in the sewers, it was common that they did that from time to time.

Rounding the corner with a bright smile on his face he cried out. "Donnie!" Yet that was all that was heard. His face dropped in horror as he looked to the turtle before him. He was...small. Of all their brother's Donnie had always been the tallest but...he looked...so damn small. His shell fat too big, almost as if he was starved half to death. His eyes...they were so tired. So exhausted as they looked to him. Dull and brown as mud. Yet his skin....his skin was not olive green but a pasty green. "Donnie..." tears filled his eyes as he ran to the cage that held him, reaching his hand in and taking one of his brother's.

"Mikey!" Donnie wanted to cry from sheer joy. His baby brother was okay, looking as healthy as ever! His hand cupped the freckled cheek. He never felt so happy to see him. To know they had been looking for him. Tears welled in his eyes as he held his brother as best he could through the bars, cooing softly as his brother rubbed their beaks together."What are you doing here?" the horror soon set in. What was he doing here? Alone? "Mikey you have to go." He looked around, worried.

"No way D! I am not leaving without you!" He snapped. "We've been looking everywhere for you!" The younger turtle leaned into the touch. Cuddling that had as if it were the most precious thing in the world. "We're going home Donnie."

"You don't understand...he will be back any second..." his voice was urgent, terrified as he tried to push him away. "Mikey go, you have to!" He looked around again. "Mikey go!" Slash would kill him if he seen him there. He had already warned Donnie about going home. That he knew where they lived and would not hesitate to get him back. No matter whom stood in his way.

"No way! Who is it Donnie?" the sea green turtle would not stand for this. He wanted to know who the hell was keeping his brother captive. He would fight him and win. Bring Donnie home where he belonged.

His shell was yanked back, a large black and across his throat as pressure was applied. Angry dark eyes met his as a deep threatening snarl was heard. "Slash don't! Please don't hurt him!" Donnie cried out, standing in the cage and slamming his hands on the bars. Mikey was gasping for air, clawing at the hand that held him in the air. "SLASH!"

"I can smell him..." his beak wrinkled. "An Alpha just like the others...like me..." the grip tightened and panic ensued. "I warned you..."

"You said if I went to them! I didn't!" he stopped, tears in his eyes as he looked up. "Slash! Please let him go! Let my baby brother go!" He grit his teeth, fearful and helpless from his cell. Slash had left him there to try and find some soup for him. To settle his stomach and get something in his system. He was so terrified; his belly began to hurt. Sharp pains shot through him as he tried to think of something he could do or say. He fell to his knees, holding his belly with both arms. A single chirp left him, small and quite.

Slash stiffened, eyes for the first time looking at his mate. Donnie was hurting, overly stressed and holding his belly. "Donatello..." concern laced his voice. Another chirp and he glared at Mikey, half conscious in his grip. His mate needed him. Cried out to him and called to him. He had to finish him off quickly.

Another chirp, this one...normal then before...sweet in tone. He looked over. Eyes on his mate as he laid on his shell. Legs spread and tail wagging slowly. It was a hard sight to resists. The grip on the small turtle loosened, Mikey took a deep breath. Another chirp, mate being suggestive in his movements.

Despite the pain he felt, Donnie had no choice but to try and draw him away from Mikey. Chirping had worked once. Had drawn his attention before. So, Donnie did what he thought was good enough to draw him in. He appealed to his inner desires, providing a willing mate rather than one he had to control and manipulate.

It worked. Slash was taken by the display, hormones racing with in him to take and claim. Breed the smaller male as his and his alone. The smaller alpha was of no concern. He was already shown to be weaker, less attractive to his mate. There was no need to take his life. Slash had already won the prize.

~LRDM~

She leaned against the wall of the building, they were told to stay there incase Mikey came back. Yet, all April could do was recall what she read in that notebook. How he felt when he wrote it...how she made him feel by pushing him aside like that and never truly KNOWING how he felt toward her. To him she was everything and yet to her...what was he? An admirer certainly, a friend, a teacher...she bit her lip and hugged herself. Donnie had done so much for her. More than the others and she pushed him aside, blew him off and dismissed his feelings as a juvenile crush while she pursued his brother's best friend so openly.

"How you are holding up, red?" Casey noticed the change. That she had been quite quiet recently. Lost in thought and blaming herself for things beyond her control. He worried for her. She wasn't...herself. As if she blames herself for what had happened to Donnie. When in reality, it was no one's fault. "You wanna talk?"

"No...yes?" She shook her head not knowing well enough. "I...Donnie only had the one canister made...what if I blew it by trying to save my father? We went through those notes a thousand times Casey, there was nothing about the retro-mutagen in there. Like he committed it to memory!" Tears welled in her eyes. 'I saw an angel today...' her breaths shuddered. 'I want to die.'

"You know Don, he wouldn't put all his eggs in one basket. He only had time to do the one when he got the call from the Kraang." He smiled at her, brushing his gloved hand against her cheek. "Trust me when I say I know he wouldn't want to see you like this." He knew Don enough to know that. While they had not gotten along well he had made a promise, if anything happened to him, that Casey would look after her.

She sighed softly. "I owe so much to him. If he didn't step in to save us...the turtles would never have started to save the world. I was the reason. He saw how frightened I was and acted." She felt him hug her. Surprised at first but...she soon melted into the touch. "I was so mean to him..."

~LRDM~

Slash dropped Mikey to the ground with a hard thud. Said turtle sat on the ground, coughing roughly as he gasped for air that just would not enter his lungs fast enough. Watery eyes followed the path the large tortoise walked toward his brother. A dark ring was around his neck, bruised and painful to look at. Though his eyes locked with his brother. The cage opened, opened so that Slash could pull him out.

Mikey rose to his feel, hands on the nunchakus. Fully intent on attacking him, on getting his brother out of there and away from that monster. The only thing that stopped him was when he realized what Slash was doing to him. Flipping him over on his hands and knees, head down and ass in the air. Rage over came him, eyes turned white as he started to swing the nunchaku.

Donnie motioned to him to leave, to run and get the others. Yet his brother was still advancing on them. Eyes narrowed, glaring at him darkly to go, to run while Donnie gave himself over to Slash. Something he didn't want Mikey to see. He motioned again for him to leave, this time it earned his head being pressed into the cold stone below them. Slash narrowed his eyes at the sea green turtle, a low growl as a warning. He spared him once, in exchange for his mate to be willing to breed. He would not be so kind again.

Baby blues returned, filled with worry as he looked to Donnie. The olive turtle just smiled softly, letting him know it was okay. That he would be fine and endure. Balling his fists, he placed he weapon in their place and took off down the sewers. Knowing it had to be done. He was no match for Slash and Donnie was in too bad of a shape to defend himself let alone fend off Slash. Mikey ran from them. Ran from the scene just as Slash pushed into Donnie. Tears burned his eyes. Donnie had done that for him. He allowed himself to be taken, despite being terrified of him just moments before. Donnie was doing it to protect him, to keep him safe from being hurt. He was still protecting him and putting Mikey before everything else.


	17. Confrontation

Leo looked around, eyes searching the area for any sign of what happened. Trying to find evidence that what Mikey had said was not true. That their brother was not...he couldn't have been. Not Donnie. He traced the foot print, undoubtly his brother's who was clearly dragged away. Finding him now was near impossible, to track them in the sewers when he could see that Slash had moved through the gray water to cover their tracks. So far from the rage filled turtle he had been so long ago. Back when the mutagen first claimed him.

Raph was checking the makeshift cage that the youngest had said held Donnie. Looking over the bars and testing them. There was no way Donnie got out of them himself. Slash had to pry them open. Even so, to think his pet had...with his brother just to protect Mikey. It was too much to bear and frankly, bothered him to no end. When had Slash shown any kind of love or affection toward Donnie?

Mikey shivered as he leaned against the stone wall, trying hard to get the image out of his mind. Donnie giving himself up for his sake. Obviously doing something he didn't want to which meant...he covered his mouth and moved up the sewer a bit to release his stomach. Feeling so sick at this point but mostly with himself. He did nothing to help his brother. Nothing to stop Slash from...from raping him for his sake.

April and Casey moved to the youngest. Recalling how distraught he was when he came to find them. No one was able to make out anything save for Donnie. That was all they needed to know as they followed him here. Finding the place empty. According to Leo and Raph, they could smell two scents, both familiar. Donnie had been there...and so had Slash. A small pool of sticky white liquid lay on the dirty stone. Reeking, as Raph put it, of fresh jizz. Only then did they look to Mikey, his baby blue eyes welling with tears as he told them what had happened and what he had seen. That Donnie had seduced Slash to save his life. Protecting him the only way he could when words failed him.

There were no words of comfort. No way to divert blame. Mikey was already angry with himself for being so weak. Even admitting that he wished for just that moment when he seen Slash force himself into their brother that he had been Raph. There was nothing they could do. So little they could do now that they lost the scent.

"I'll fuck'en kill'em!" Raph slammed his fist against the metal cage that had held his brother. His whole body shaking with rage. Turning to Mikey with darkened eyes. "Why did you fuck'en go alone?! If ya would have called us we could have been here! We coulda saved him!" he moved toward him.

"I...I..." what was he to say? All he wanted to do was see his brother again, he was too impatient to wait for the others. "What if it was too late?" he asked he stepped back, afraid of what Raph would do. "He isn't yours Raph!"

"Like hell he aint! I marked 'em first! I was waiting for his answer when all this shit happened." He moved toward him again only to have Casey run between them. "Get outta my way prick!"

"Raph enough!" Casey tried to calm them down.

"You weren't the only one waiting for his answer!" Mikey yelled. "we all asked him and I doubt he was gonna actually chose! We may have wanted him but if you fucking thought with your head instead of your dick maybe you would see how he was avoiding us!"

"He wasn't avoiding anyone. He already gave me his answer." Leo rolled his eyes. Standing up he looked at his brothers, keeping his rage well hidden from the others. Slash was going to die for sure. He had tainted his innocent and pure mate. He crossed his arms and shifted his weight. "He chose me." It wasn't a lie. He was the best out of them all. It was clear, given how close they were, how well they worked together.

"Ya full of it!" Raph spat now turning to look at him. "Ya would have been gloating this whole time that he was yours!"

Leo scuffed. "Really? I'm not four, unlike you." He walked toward the exit. "He told me his choice when we were alone. Right before he was captured. Donnie wanted someone mature, someone who wouldn't treat him roughly or be little his interests." He stopped and turned around. "We even sealed it with a kiss."

Raph grit his teeth. He was lying. The fucker had to be lying because Donnie wouldn't...not if they were underattack...

"Will you all just stop?!" April snarled. "I am so tired of you guys fighting over him! He isn't here to confirm or deny shit!" he turned to Raph. "Shut up and get over your inferiority complex!" she turned to Mikey. "It is not your fault so relax." She then glared at Leo. "Stop pissing them off! You are the leader so fucking lead!"

Casey blushed brightly. Red was a force to be reckoned with. She was strong and beautiful...he was glad he had his face paint on, no one could see how bright his face was. Maybe later she would be up for grabbing some dinner with him...

"One good thing can come of this." Leo says. Drawing all eyes to him in that moment to hear what if any good could come of Donnie being raped. "We know he is here, who has him..." his eyes narrowed. "We will find him and bring him home." He vowed. Walking past them in the direction of home. Knowing they would follow. He would speak with their father. He would make plans. They would find Donnie.

-LRDM-

It was the first time in so long he was able to see the moon. This night it was the phase Waxing Crescent. As time passes after new moon, the Moon-orbiting counterclockwise around the Earth-moves away from the Sun toward the east from the vantage point, traveling about 12 degrees per day toward the left, as seen from Earth's northern hemisphere. Two or three days after new moon, a waxing crescent can be seen just to the east of the Sun. It is most easily seen just after sunset, following the Sun closely down toward the western horizon. Notice that the "horns" of a crescent moon always point away from the Sun. Also, since the Moon in a crescent phase-either waxing or waning-is close to the Sun on the sky, it can't be above the horizon at night unless it's shortly after sunset or before sunrise.  
How many times as a child did he dream of seeing it just as Neal Armstrong had? Stepping foot upon the surface and exploring the vastness of space? How he had drawn himself in broken crayon, riding a rocket to the moon in a purple spacesuit? It made him smile slightly, at the fondness of the memories. Even as the other began to push him along the rooftops. His eyes remained in the bright sky, fixated upon the moon.

"Is your head always in the damn clouds?" the larger male grumbled, pushing him forward. They had to leave the sewers. The turtles were there. He didn't need to be bothered by them. Outnumbered and surely he would be out matched. He wasn't about to lose Donatello so soon. Not when they were starting to become closer.

"My mind never stops." He muttered, turning to face the other. Not an ounce of anger on his face. No resentment nor fury, just a hollow mask. "You tend to value things you think you would never see again. Things so trivial to others and yet...so beautiful." He looked back up, gazing up like a child in wonder.

"If only you focused more on training as you did with your head in the clouds you would have easily surpassed Leonardo in skill and combat." He scuffed. Pushing him more. Wanting him to move faster then what he was. This was...Not good. To be so open and have Donatello feeling sick, he worried greatly. Hoping that they would get to the safe haven he mentioned earlier. There they would be safe. They could start a life.

He heard a laugh. It was Donatello. "If I only had a nickel for every time I heard that." He muttered. It seemed seeing his brother had placed him in a good mood. Perhaps because he was able to confirm that they were doing well without him. It made him jealous, wanting the look on the olive turtle's face to be directed for him and him alone.

Perhaps...if he did something nice for him...A smile made it's way to his face. Perhaps once they get settled in their new home he could have a nice dinner for them? Flowers and even a clean mattress, he could easily acquire one from a store at night. He was sure his mate would love that. To have a soft place to sleep at night, with plush pillows and a heat lap to keep them warm on cold nights.

He could even bring his mate things to tinker with. Piles of rubbish from the dump, a room to work in and another to...he hummed. Thinking of just the place to place their eggs, a place to keep an eye on them and raise the young. As charming a thought, was Donatello even capable of laying eggs? This made his face sour. Looking to the small turtle, it didn't look as if he could carry in his condition. No matter, he would confine him to bed rest and force him to eat. Once he was healthier, he was sure that they could have young.

Young would help, Donatello was cross with him now but he was sure that he would grow to love him if only he was given the chance. He was upset about what happened, he wanted to go home but the mere thought of him going back to his brothers pissed him off. It wasn't going to happen, it wasn't going to fucking happen if he could help it.

While he was lost in thought, he felt his legs get kicked from under him. He fell back hard and saw Donatello above him, pipe in his arms. Anger rose again, he had been betrayed yet again and now... The sound of metal catching metal was heard, shuriken fell to the side near him, baring the foot clan symbol. He had not betrayed him, but saved him.

A sickening snap was heard, as the ninja whom threw the star at the purple clad turtle now laid before their feet. "I told you! We want him alive!" Rahzar snarled. "Don't care about the other one, bring the short one alive." He grabbed the fallen clan member and tossed him off the roof to make his point.

"Rahzar..." Donnie held his position, waiting for Slash to get ready. There were several foot ninja there, in addition to Fishface and StockmanFly. "I would say it's nice to see you all but...that would be a lie."

"Can it Turtle." Fishface snapped. "We want it, the cure for the mutations!" He moved forward playing with his butterfly knife. "Do not deny it, we know you have it and if you hand it over I am sure we may find it in our hearts to kill you slowly."

Donnie narrowed his eyes, knowing that they would put up far more of a fight then before. They know about the retromutagen and they knew it was he who had discovered it. This...was not good. "I don't have it." He took a step back. "And if you kill me what would happen if you mutate again? Rahzar can attest to that possibility."

The mutant smirked. "I always liked you Donatello, always so clever." Rahzar moved forward. "Tell you what. Come quietly and we wont hurt your little friend there." It made him wonder though, if Donatello did have the retromutagen, why did he not use it on that mutant turtle with him? Yet he knew it worked, they all had seen it work. He and all the others would keep him safe from Shredder. For now they wanted to capture him, hide him and wait til they are no longer mutants before handing him over to Shredder. His fucking daughter wasn't even his but the child of his enemy, why should they give a rat's ass if she was still mutated?

"Not assssss clever asssss he thinkssssss." Stockmanfly buzzed. He was the weakest of them but he was extremely smart, almost rivaling the teen turtle. It was his idea to keep Donatello to themselves for a time, he who gathered all the basic chemicals and supplies to aid in the creation of retromutagen.

"Are you sure?" he asked, tilting his head slightly. "Maybe I have been holding back all this time." He glanced quickly at Slash.

He was still on the ground, calculating. There were many enemies here. Far too many for him to protect his mate. The chance of him actually being able to pull this off...he growled. Donnatello was in danger. He was going to have to keep him close.

Rahzar laughed loudly. "Cute." He muttered. "Real cute coming from the weakest of you." He walked forward, getting too close that the second turtle shot up, standing between him and Donatello. White eyes glaring and his beak twisted in a snarl. "Did you make this one too?" he could admire how he was built, tall and strong, dark skin perfect for hiding. Clearly a beast that would undoubly cause them trouble when trying to capture the purple turtle. No matter, once they have Donatello they maybe able to leverage him into adding this beast to their ranks. Surely The Shredder would be very pleased with them.

"Man Red Rhino, how long do we gotta wait? I got a clear shot?!" Bebop scuffed, tapping his fingers on the net gun they had been given. The others were decoys, wanting to distract them so they would not notice the two on opposite rooftops from where the group of mutants stood. He tapped his headset when he got no response. "Hello can you even hear me?"

"I hear and choose to ignore." He huffed. Rocksteady was already tired of the pig's shit. He could not wait to change back to a human and be on his way. He hated this life and hated having to answer to the Shredder. "We wait for chance. When turtle is alone we grab him.“


	18. Ethereal

April wasn't sure how to respond to all of this. That each of the brothers had gone to Donatello and confessed their feelings and desire to...breed with him. It was so wired and like one of those fucked up omegaverse fanfictions she read once in a while. While it was interesting to think about she found the real life equivalent to be...less then glorifying.

What is worse is that Splinter had asked that they not tell the others the truth about Donnie. That he was actually a female and still had female anatomy. Even worse is that the turtles had asked that they not tell Splinter about their confessions to their brother, wanting to keep him from knowing that there was incest within his family. Yet was it truly incest? Donnie had said they were all from different clutches. That's at least what the diary said.

She bit her lip. What would they say if they knew she was reading something so privet? Even after she swore she wouldn't? In it she could see his true feelings. So much different than how he acted with everyone else.

He felt inferior to the others, feeling he could never catch up to them. He had been sick a lot when they were younger. Having to sit out of training or take on less active tasks such as repeating katas while he watched his brothers work with weapons. That he would never be as stong as Raph or as quick as Mikey...yet it was clear he idolized Leo. Seeing him as the ideal turtle that he wished he could be. Stong, smart, skillful...he was even envious of the relationship he had with their father.

'I snuck out tonight, alone. I know in my condition I shouldn't have. I know that if I was caught I would be denied training, yet I had to see it...I don't know when it will ever happen again and I didn't want to miss it.' She turned the page, having borrowed it from his lab. She was still in his youth, still within his childhood. She had found so many of them, listed by the years hidden away from the others. 'Leo caught me, I should have suspected he would. He didn't yell at me as I had thought. He sat beside me, looking up at the shooting stars by my side, letting me see the one thing I wanted to do enough to disobey father who refused to let me. I have never been so close to him, Leo...He is the greatest!' she turned the page. Nothing really, just what they did, what they learned and the katas they performed.

She set it down and picked up his early teens. 'I found my purpose! I can build and fix things that we need! Mikey brought home a cat cookie jar. It was broken and he wanted to make it meow. Master tried but couldn't get it to work, I gave it a try and it worked!'

A few months later. 'I was finally able to give us hot water. With the help of the others, I got a hot water tank from the dump and was able to hook it up. Master was so pleased to finally have a hot bath to relax his body. I really could see it in his eyes when he told me how proud of me he was. For the first time ever, I earned such praise!'

'I got a heater, all of us crowded into father's room. We were able to keep warm in the winter nights. Father was so proud!'

She smiled as she was able to read how he made break throughs. There were brilliant sketches of so many things, some of them quite familiar as they were fully functioning in the lair. 'I swear if I have to fix that toaster again! I honestly don't understand how it keeps getting broken. Ughhh I have other things to research! I want to finish the medical template for our anatomy...'

She grew bored with his findings, grabbing the book that mentioned her. 'I don't think she likes me. She heardly knows me and is keeping me are arms length away, as if I would hurt her. I would never dream of laying a finger upon her that she did not ask for. Does she think me o desperate? No, perhaps it is because of how I act. I cant help it. When I see her my heart melts. When I look in her eyes I dream of the sun. When I smell her perfume as she walks by I crave a field of flowers. My mind goes numb and I utter foolishness. Can she not see what she does to me? If she can what cruel games she plays.'

'Why does she look at him like that? Why does she look at him as I do her? Why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel as if the very breath I breathe grow heavier to longer I look at you? Why is it that when you are in love that you look your most beautiful, even when it is not with me?' she bit her lip. He was such a dork. A cheesy hopless romantic.

'We will never be together.' She closed her eyes, turning away. 'I know that. No matter how I try to deny it, I am not human. She deserves so much more than me and what I can give her. A life in the sewers? No, she deserves the world and I can never give it to her. I am only a mutant and not even the strongest of my kind. It is better...I know what I need to do.'

'It hurts. It hurts too much! I thought I could handle it but I can't. I feel like I am dying. Locked away in my lab burying myself in my work and research to try and distract me, but it is hopeless. Watching them kiss...I felt as if my very life was draining from my body, that my heart was ripped from my chest still beating but broken. Why would love exist if this is what it feels like to lose the one you love so dearly? Perhaps it was a mistake to push Casey into asking her out...'

April narrowed her eyes. "Donnie...what did you do?" she clenched her teeth. Did he tell Casey to ask her out? Was their relationship simply to let Donnie live out some sick fantasy of them being together? Or was Casey reporting to Donnie about what they did?

She pulled out her phone only to see that Mikey was calling her. "Hey Mikey." She was barely able to get that out before she heard him.

"April...It's about Donnie..." she didn't hesitate, she got up and left, grabbing her bag and the book she had and headed out the door.

~LRDM~

Donnie panted as he blocked Rahzar's claws with the pipe. "Why so silent Donatello?" he asked, pressing harder with his claws. "Out of shape? We have only begun!" he kicked the turtle back and swung his other claws. The others were taking care of the big one. Keeping him distracted as he slowly moved him away, getting him in the perfect position to launch the net. Once he was caught, it would be Rahzar who carried him off, handing him over to Rocksteady and escape to the hideout where everything was waiting.

The purple turtle stumbled back, barely dodging the claws that came his way. He was not prepared for this. The pipe in his hand felt too heavy. His legs felt like jello. This was not good. There was no way to fend him off long. He had to get to Slash, they had to get out of there. Rahzar stopped, stepping back. This was confusing, why would he back off if he clearly had the advantage?

A net wrapped around the pipe as he threw it, falling with a heavy thump just before them. He looked at it before he saw Bebop on the other rooftop.

"Fool!" Rahzar snarled as he ran at the unarmed turtle.

Donnie struggled to dodge Rahzar. Clearly they had this planned for some time. Orders from Shredder, no doubt. Yet why would Shredder care about them being mutants? Even so, how did they know about the retromutagen? He thought a moment before his eyes widened. The only way they could know was that April got her father back! There was no other way they could have known! His brother's must have gotten the retromutagen and restored her father!

"Why are you smiling?! We clearly have the upper hand, why don't you give up!" he snapped. "We will let the other turtle go if you come quietly."

The smaller turtle looked to Slash, he was struggling against Fishface, Stockmanfly and the dozens of foot ninja. It was clear they didn't want to hurt him but they were not holding back when it came to Slash. How was he going to make things right if he lost Slash? No, he had to hold out. Slash could do it! Slash was stronger than them! Wasn't he?

The large turtle growled as he threw another foot ninja off the roof. There were about ten more not including the mutants. He gasped for breath, this was too much too fast and he couldn't focus on them if he was worrying about Donatello. There was too much shit for him to deal with right now. "You're fast for your size!" the mutant fish ran at him, robotic leg out. He wasn't able to dodge. It hit him hard and he fell to the ground hard. They were being overrun and he couldn't protect himself let alone Donatello.

"Slash!" Donnie cried out. He looked around, thinking of away they could get out of that mess. That's when he saw the water tower. A chirp escaped him, they locked eyes and he motioned for him to go to a different roof. Donnie lead Rahzar to the water tower on the roof, effectively causing him to slice it open. Water spilled forth, knocking the other mutants away from the larger turtle.

Slash took the chance, jumping to the other rooftop as he looked on at his mate. "Donatello! Hurry!" he cried out, watching as his mate took two of the shuriken that had been thrown before and severed the power line just as he jumped to the other rooftop.

His heart raced, beating in his chest like a drum as the wire hit the water and caused all on the to become electrocuted. With the other shuriken, he severed the other side of the wire, stopping the electrical assault. No one on the roof would die, but it was enough to knock them out of commission.

Donnie landed on the edge of the roof, looking back at Slash, smiling softly. They had done it. Against all odds they had defeated their enemies and were able to escape. Slash stood up, smiling back as he made his way to him. God how he looked beautiful in the moonlight, as if he himself were glowing, as if he were ethereal.

"We need to..." he couldn't finish. A thick heavy chain net wrapped around him, the weights in it pulling back on him. He reached out his hand, trying to grab for Slash. Yet try as he may, the dark turtle was not fast enough.

It happened so slowly. He could see Slash the whole way down, surrounded by the bright stars and even the moonlight. Slowly he fell, watching as Slash got smaller and smaller. Something in him panicked. Something told him he couldn't die, not now. A strange feeling that warned him that if he passed...something else would go with him. Tear filled his eyes. Would this be the end? Would he never see his brothers again? "I'm sorry..."

Slash watched him fall, helpless to stop it. It had happened so fucking fast! He was so close to catching him! If he had been but a second quicker! If only he were faster! "DONATELLO!" he screamed, watching in a panic as his mate fell from the building. He could see the other mouth the words 'I'm sorry...' why? Why was he sorry when he had done nothing wrong?!

There was a sickening crash as the shell of his mate hit the car below. His breath quickened. "No..." he wasted no more time and made his way to him, not recalling much of the decent, only when he was near his beloved.

Donatello laid on his back. One are out stretched and the other across his body, one leg folded behind him and the other bent back. His lovely eyes were closed and head lulled to the side off the car. The thick metal had cut into much of the skin it touched. Slowly he removed the net. Careful not to hurt him any more then what he was. He gently lift him up, removing the net for good.

His mate was not responding, he was barely breathing and he was scared. He was terrified that he was going to lose him because...blood was oozing from a crack in his shell. It was diagonal across the Carapace shell, covering his hands in the thick warm liquid. His brows furrowed in pain and agony. Terror soon set in, his bottom beak quaked as he looked around. Where was he to go? Who could help them...He grit his teeth, there was only one place they could go...He had no choice, if he wanted him to live.


	19. A Father’s Rage

"For once in your life will you listen to me?!" Leo was done with Raph and his childish bullshit. Their fighting had caused their father to send them on patrol together to work their issues out. Clearly he was unaware of why they were at odds. That they were fighting over Donatello and not the authority of the team.

Raph continued walking a head of him, fuming. "I aint gonna listen ta ya shit! You already got the leadership of da team, why ya gotta take Donnie!" he scuffed. He hated this. When their father sent them out to work on their relationship he knew thee fucking golden child was gonna try to work shit out. He wanted nothing more than to punch him in his perfect face.

The eldest scuffed. "You think you are better fit? That you can keep him safe? You did such a good job when you were eight, he nearly drowned! Oh and again when you were put in charge of leading the team and almost got him AND Mikey killed!" oh he could see the pure rage in his eyes. There was something satisfying about it. "Or when you were fucking around with shit in his lab and caused an explosion? Perhaps even when you took the mutagen to your room and created Slash, the very bastard that rap..."

Raph's eyes went white as he pressed Leo against the wall, sai drawn and pressing against the leaf green neck of the perfect child. "Ya lucky we are broth'as." His voice was eerily calm. It sent shivers down Leo's spine. "I aint gonna say this shit twice, so fuck'en listen ta me the first time." He pressed the sai harder against his neck. "I aint responsible for what he did! I turned on 'em the moment I found out what he did ta all of ya. So don't fucking use the R word when ya directing it at meh." He let him go, his eyes change back to their emerald color. "I also aint gonna believe he chose ya until I hear it from his lips myself."

Silver eyes narrowed darkly at him. Oh what he wanted to do to him for that. Leo may be far more skilled the Raph but when it came to brute strength, none compared. He was a worthy opponent, even for the love and affection of Donatello. Who really would have guessed that all three of them had asked him the same question? Hell Mikey wasn't even much of a thought, chance of him being selected as Donnie's mate were so slim it was near transparent. "You think you are so badass don't you? That you are on top of the fucking world well there are plenty of people who put you on your ass!"

"An' plenty who knocked ya ass off that pedestal! Donnie being one of 'em!" Raph shot back. "Ya don't appreciate 'em! You want him like some kinda status symbol! Like a...Trophy Bride or some shit." He threw his hands in the air. "God damn it Leo, this is our brotha we are talking about! Mikey was fuck'en there when he was bent over with his ass in da..." he felt sick. "Donnie deserved bett'a then what he got! We know he didn't consent to it..." He walked further down the sewer tunnel. "He was so scared when I kissed 'em. He went into a panic attack...I forced it and...the look on his face..." he didn't want to cry in front of Leo but...this was too much for him. "Could you imagine how scared he was...how terrified..."

The anger nearly drained from the eldest. Seeing Raph in a different light. He wasn't so mad at him as he was with himself. With Slash and the fact he had forcibly taken their brother. That the kind hearted turtle would possibly see him in the same light as he viewed his rapest. It only made him think of their first kiss. How rushed and forceful it had been. How at the time he could think of nothing he wanted more then to taste him. Taking what he wanted with no regards for what was best for Donnie, or what he had wanted. It filled his own heart with deep regrets. Donnie deserved the world he so cherished.

"I often dreamt of it..." Leo began, eyes avoiding Raph. "How it should have been done right." He bit his lip. "Walking in on him working...his tongue sticking out as he was deep in concentration..." he smiled. How he missed that.

"Disrupt'en 'em with a gentle caress of yer hand on his arm..." Raph joined in. It was a relief it wasn't just him having these thoughts, these dreams and desires. "He jumps slightly in yer arms, heart pounding but as soon as he sees ya he looks up at ya..."

"And smiles with a smile that goes all the way to his eyes..." That made Raph smile. "They sparkle with a look that you know was yours alone. A look that spoke far louder than any words ever could." He cooed.

"Ya hand slowly caresses his cheek and move under his chin, ensur'en he cant shy away was ya lean in, slowly to place a gentle kiss on his beak..." it was making him feel better. That even Leo could have such thoughts that were near identical to his own.

Their thoughts were distracted by the sound of running feet. No one should be down here. No one should be this close to the fucking lair. They made sure of this, made sure that anyone would be redirected elsewhere should they come close, that was miles away. Both readied their weapons, getting in position to fight whatever or whoever turned that corner. Neither was in the mood and whoever it was going to feel their unbridled fury.

Yet, they were not prepared for just who it was.

~LRDM~

Mikey was so tired of Leo and Raph's fighting, always arguing about this and that but all Mikey heard was my dick is bigger than yours. It was so irritating and immature and that was coming from him! He was grateful when their father sent them out to work shit through. Maybe they would get along, maybe they would kill each other who the hell knew. He was just grateful for the quiet in the lair...all of five minutes. The youngest never really hated the quiet. It made him uneasy and to combat that he called out to his buddy Leatherhead.

The gator was happy to come by, adoring his little friend and ready to try some of his delicious food. He was over more often given the absence of Donatello, acting as the medic for the clueless turtles. Anyone could see that the tensions were high and Donatello was like the glue that held them together. As he was arriving he could hear the arguing of the elder turtle. Ducking his head down he slipped into the lair without being seen by them, content by avoiding the conflict that was sure to erupt if they had seen him.

Mikey happily greeted his friend with a hug to his long snout and a pat on his head. The large mutant gator wagged his tail happily. "Hey big guy! It's good to see you!" he pulled back and smiled brightly at him. "Yo, come on, I have a new treat you can try! Know the spinach puffs? I tried making chocolate pizza puffs!" he set the item down before him. It was thick greasy puff with chocolate and marinara sauce oozing out of it.

"It looks very delectable my friend." He picked one up, causing the cheese to goop out. He smiled and ate it whole. Looking down at his tiny friend, whose baby blues stared up at him with hope. "Far better then I would have imagined." he ate more. Though not his favorite, it was far better then what he could scavenge in the sewers.

"At least someone appreciates it." He muttered, setting more down for him that his own family turned down.

Leatherhead tilt his head to the side. "Are they still fighting about Donatello?" he asked.

The small turtle nodded. "I saw Donnie..." he spoke lowly.

The gator stood up smiling. "This is great news! It means he is not in another dimension!" He moved so he was standing before him. "Where is Donatello? I would like to discuss many things..."

"Donnie aint here!" Mikey snapped, throwing his creation on the floor in a fit of rage. Leatherhead was taken back by this. It was rare he showed this kind of anger. "I had my chance and...and..." he looked up at his friend. Tears flowing freely down his cheeks. "It was Slash...I found Donnie and he was in some kinda cage...I was trying to get him out when I was grabbed..." he rubbed at his eyes fiercely, causing his light skin to become irritated. "He was gonna kill me I know he was...but Donnie...Donnie called him over and it's like he lost interest in me...I...I...He...." He fell to his knees crying hysterically. "I wasn't strong enough! I couldn't help Donnie and I ran off like a little worthless pussy!"

The elder mutant knelt beside his friend. It broke him to see him like this, the kind and hopeful child. "Michelangelo, you are not at fault for the action of others." He nuzzled him, trying to get him to look into his eyes. "Your brother Donatello did what he did because to him you are not a worthless pussy!" This brought eye contact. "You do not understand just how much he adores you. Late into the nights when we collaborate our knowledge and skill he talks of you as if you are the most precious thing in his life!" he didn't have the heart to tell him he spoke of April and the others as well. He wanted him to feel special.

Mikey sniffled as he wiped the tears and snot from his face. "You mean it?" his voice cracked. His baby blues shining with that hopeful look once again. "You aren't just saying that?"

"I would never dream to lie to you. You are my friend." He smiled, helping him stand up. "Your brother is a strong individual." He turned to the mess on the floor. "I am sure even he would have loved your... what were these called again?"

"Cocoazza Puffs!" he snickered. "I'll have to make them for Donnie when he gets home." He started to clean the mess. Humming softly because Donnie Adored him! He loved him best and both Leo and Raph could take their toxic masculinity and shove it so far up their ass! "Hey LH, after we clean this up do you wanna watch a new movie? I got that Deadpool one with that actor in that Shitty Green Lantern Movie."

Before the mutant could respond, Leonardo and Raphael could be heard shouting at each other as they moved quickly through the tunnels. His mood was now soured as they would no doubt cause Michelangelo's mood to drop. He was not going to let their fighting distress the already fragile nature of his friend.

"I don't care! We can worry about him later!" Leo yelled as he ran through the Lair and past Mikey to the dojo. It wasn't long before he and their father were running to the door.

"Leo what's going on?!" Mikey ran after them only to stop dead a few feet from the entrance. There he stood, staring down the bastard that had taken his brother! The fucker that had raped him in exchange for his life! "Leo stay back it's..." His eyes grew wide, noting the olive skinned bundle in his arms...covered in deep crimson.

"Donatello! My son!" Splinter ran to him. Looking him over from head to toe. He was hardly breathing. It was labored and pained. He ignored the other turtle. "Take him to the lab, on the bed!" they all moved to the area Donnie had deemed the med bay. Once he was laid down he turned to Leatherhead. "Can you help him?"

All eyes looked to the gator mutant. All hope and fear laid on him. He stepped back, unsure if he could. That was until he saw those hopeful baby blues. All it took was that fearful please from him and he nodded, pushing past the others, glaring darkly at the black skinned turtle. "I need space...everyone out." He heard arguments.

"I will not leave my mate!" Slash Growled with a deep guttural rumble.

Leo and Raph stood defensively infront of Donnie. "He aint yer's! Ya can just leave!"

"We do not allow rapest in our home!"

Slash roared! Slamming his fist against the ground. "I will not leave him! He is mine!"

Splinter hit all three with his staff. "I want all of you out, NOW!" Leo and Raph obeyed. Slash turned to him, eyes white. "You brought him here for help did you not?! Do as we say and exit the room!"

"I. Will. Not."

"I will not hesitate to kill you if I deem you a threat to the well being of my child!" The old rat hissed. "Do not take my threat lightly! How well can you protect him if you are dead?!"

Slash knew better. Master Splinter was not a force to toy with, especially when it involved his children. The massive beast looked back at his mate, currently being touched and examined by the gator. He deemed him none threatening. He was not even their species. "Fine, but I stay in the lair."

"Very well." He turned to his three sons. "He is to be treated as a guest." Before they could argue he slammed his cane down. "I will not be disobeyed! You will do as I say for the sake of your brother!" he turned to Leatherhead. "If there is anything..." he began.

"I will be sure to let you know. Donatello has much stocked up. His late nights were not used in vein." He smiled at the father. "I am sorry but I need to focus. Please close the doors."

The old rat nodded. Looking once more to his poor son as the oxygen mask was placed upon his lips and the IV was placed into his arm. He had a flash back to his wife. How his whole world came undone when they said she could not be saved. Splinter needed to make his way to the room and meditate. "You will remain quite. If I have to come out here you will all rue it!"

All of them watched him leave. Once they heard the Fusuma door close, they all looked to Slash. Rage and anger built in them as they saw him stained with their brother's blood. Yet before they could do anything he rose from his place.

"Where do you think you are going?!" Leo snapped.

"To shower, unless you like seeing me covered in his blood." He scuffed, pushing past Raph and slammed the door shut.

Raph growled and ran to his punching bag, beating the shit out of it repeatedly.

Leo sighed and took off to the Dojo, he needed to meditate.

Mikey did the only thing he could think of. "April...It's about Donnie..."


	20. Examination

The hot water ran down his body, smoothing his tense muscles but did little to calm his rage. He knew the moment he ran into the two eldest brothers in the sewers this was a mistake. The way they looked at him, with a deep hatred in their heart, even his former best friend, Raphael. He had never see such rage from him before, perhaps he thought he himself had caused Donatello harm.

Neither dared to attack him, even as the purple banded turtle lay bleeding in his arms. Too afraid to cause more harm to him then was needed. "Slash..." the deep unforgiving growl of Raphael broke his thoughts. "Give meh my brother." He moved closer, only causing Slash to step back, returning the growl.

"I will not leave MY mate." He snarled, making an emphasis on the possessiveness. "We ran into the foot, they were looking for him..." he held him tighter in his arms. "We do not have time for this." He turned to Leonardo, the calmer one of the two and leader of their team. "I came here because you are the only ones I trust with his care. Even if you are rival alpha's, I value his life far more then such trivial things. I have already made my claim to his body, you can not deny it."

"I can if we kill you for allowing him to get hurt." His voice was calm, the threat well received. "Stand down Raph, Donnie needs us more than this bastard needs to die." He scuffed and turned to the hot head before he could protect. "We will handle this later!"he watched as the other closed his mouth, knowing he was right. "Just our luck, Mikey has Leatherhead over." He turned toward the lair. "Stay close." He darted off.

Raph looked up at him. "This isn't over." He spat, turning and running off, knowing he would not be far behind.

He watched as the blood swirled down the drain. He could hear Raphael and Michelangelo talking. The orange turtle hand already called the others, more to outnumber him. The Leatherhead could match his strength; he wasn't sure it was such a good idea to be here but where else was he to take him? His brother would be pissed. No doubt he would take it out on Donatello, blaming him for all of this.

Donatello deserved better. He deserved to walk in the sun.

Even as he was falling all he could say was he was sorry. What was he sorry for? He did nothing wrong. Hell if it were not for his quick thinking they would have lost against the foot. Donatello would have been taken and used for the retromutagen, no doubt once they got what they wanted they would have killed him.

His fist clenched. He had been so fucking careless.

Grabbing the nearest towel he dried off, making his way to the door before stopping. He had to get his rage under control. He had to, for Donatello's sake. If he were to hurt any of his brother's or friends he would have no chance of winning his mate's affection. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. "I vow, for you my mate, my Donatello, I shall not hurt anyone you care for." He opened his eyes and opened the door.

All had gone silent. All eyes on him, even those of the two humans. He snarled in disgust and walked to the couch that was currently unoccupied. He said nothing but by the looks on their faces it was going to be a shit storm of questions. Clearly the past few months Donatello was absent was unclear to them. Only knowing he had been taken to another dimension by the Kraang.

It wasn't so much as the stares that angered him, but the godforsaken silence and tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. He chose to speak first, to break the silence. "Any word on Donatello?"

"Nothing you need to be concerned about." Leonardo made his way out of the Dojo. He walked infront of him, slamming his hands on the coffee table. "You have no reason to be here. Get out or we will throw you out."

"I will not leave him." He spoke calmly, trying to keep his vow.

"We all know what ya did ta 'im." Raphael stood behind Leonardo, hand griping the handle of his Sais tightly. "Yous even tried ta kill Mikey!" He could tell that it was taking every ounce of self control he had not to tear into him. Poor Raphael, how badly did he want to end his life in the most grueling way possible? "Why should we even give 'im a chance ta walk?"

"Same reason I am not ripping your throat out now." He raised his eyes to glare into emerald eyes. "A shame you chose them over me, isn't it Raphael. Or is it that you are more upset that he didn't choose you?"

He moved toward him, Sai drawn before being stopped by Leonardo. "Don't take his bait Raph. I am sure Master Splinter will send him out." He backed up, silver eyes just as sharp as the blades upon his back. "After all, the only thing keeping you alive right now is that Donnie told Leatherhead not to let you leave."

Slash rose then, his eyes widened. "He is awake?" he stepped forward prompting Leonardo and Raphael to step back. "Is he okay?! I want to see him!" he moved toward the lab only to be cut off by his three brothers. "Get out of my way!"

"He isn't awake!" Mikey snapped, braver now that his brothers were here with him. "He wasn't awake long either, none of us got to talk to him!" he was uncharacteristically angry. It didn't suit him, having always been the friendly type of turtle.

April stepped in, eyeing him up and down as if to find something. "After what you did to him I am shocked that he cared enough to mention you before passing back out." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "We all know what you did! Leatherhead is mortified by the damage that was done to him and he didn't even begin to examine him fully yet!"

"I've met some real monsters..." Casey thought to his own father, of what he used to do to him. "Gotta say though, you take the fucking cake." How could what LH said be so horrifying to the point that the turtle brothers would dare let this...beast live? Even if Donnie wished it?

Slash growled, a deep guttural rumble, a warning to those who surrounded him. "You all act like you know everything. Like you have me pegged down and figured out..." he backed up, standing at his full height. "You all are so foolish, none of you are worthy of him."

"Ya think you are?!" Raphael pushed past Leonardo. Not caring to stop when his brother placed his hand on his shoulder, he only shrugged it away. "You who kidnapped him?! Who Raped meh little brotha?" he clenched his fist around the handle of the Sais. "You who was meh best friend?"

The dark skinned turtle snapped then. "I NEVER MEANT TO!" he fell to his knees, all eyes looking down at him in shock and confusion. "I never wanted to hurt him...I cared too much for him to want that..." he was letting his guard down, even as they passed judgmental eyes he only wanted them to know and understand that he truly did love Donatello.

"How could you not mean to?!" April asked. She didn't understand it. Not until they heard the sound of metal falling against stone.

All eyes then turned to the hot head. His emerald orbs so wide with the realization. "Da timeline...Its wrong Leo." He looked to his brother, feeling sick to his stomach. "Slash...you...yous got to him during mating season...didn't ya?"

The look on the other's faces only confirmed their worst fears, which they all came to understand now, why Donatello was so easily able to ask for him to stay. The very reason he had told them all over and over again. Slash couldn't help it. Nature took hold and drove him to insanity with a single thought. To blame him would do nothing for they would have to think if they were to have found him during that time. Would they not desire forgiveness from the others?

"I sealed myself in a steel cage at the start of my season...when I came to...it was too late..."

~LRDM~

Leatherhead was greatful Donatello had long ago installed soundproofing within the lab. The screams were muffled and hardly heard. Perfect for patients to sleep stress free. Something Donatello never seemed to do.

The mutant gator cleaned each wound carefully, ensuring he would not get an infection. In some of the wounds were small shards of glass he collected in a nearby tray. Others were old wounds, such as a bruise around his neck that was barely visible. He was malnourished, weak and barely able to breathe on his own. Luckily, the IV drip will help replenish what was lost, providing him with precious nutrients. He knew Donatello would be upset that it was used, stuff like that was very hard to come by but he was sure the others would want him to have the best care the gator could give.

Ringing out the rag, he made his way to his legs. There was no doubt the right leg was broken as it was already discolored and swollen. He would have to set it later after he cleaned him up and disinfected the wounds. Most were small and would not scar. As for his leg, that will take quite some time to heal. There was no doubt in his mind that the olive skinned turtle was going to have a rough road ahead of him.

As he was cleaning his legs, he got far too close to the young turtle's...He blushed brightly and moved his hands away quickly. Trembling slightly as he thought of what Mikey would say...of what Raph would do...Yet he was quite curious. Not in the way most would think. He wanted to know more about the turtle's anatomy to better aid him, scientifically of course. How else could he if he did not see for himself? They would understand right? He spent some time battling himself before he was convinced the proper thing to do would be to check ALL of his patient. After all, Mikey had told him what that beast had done to him. What if he had internal bleeding or damage from such a thing? It would only be the right thing to do.

He grabbed the magnified glass and the custom made speculum, one that the genius turtle had prepared to check their...unique physiology. It took some toying but the light was finally good enough to see everything he needed to. Right off the bat, he noted that his tail was quite small compared to the others and much fatter, odd thing but perhaps just a small influence of the mutation. Using the handle, he was able to spread the opening large enough he could see into it. This earned a small moan of disapproval from his patient. Looking into the walls, his hand shook and he had no choice but to turn away. His eyes narrowed to slits with his growing rage as he tried to get his breathing under control.

The clawed hand trembled as he moved to his detailed notes and began to write his findings. Describing just what was seen upon the inside of his friend's body, using a cotton swab to take samples and even a blood sample just to be sure. He removed the device and continued to clean the wounds.

He set the samples in the machines and let them run, waiting for the results by grabbing casting cloth. It was time to set the broken leg. The larger mutant was grateful that he was asleep. That he would not fell much of what he was going to do. Feeling the swollen appendage, he found where the break was and snapped it back into place, once again earning another moan that was louder than the last. There was little time after he wrapped the wound for him to wait for it to harden.

He took another swab and placed it on the glass slide to examine under the microscope. "As I had feared." He lowered his head. "Unknown internal substance is semen, taken from within patient's cloaca. The sample contains live semen." This meant the last time he was...physical with another was less than 48 hours ago. Further confirming what Michelangelo had said.

Leatherhead sighed as he turned back to wrap the other more severe wounds. As he did, he was greeted with the look of dull coffee brown eyes. "Donatello..." he moved to grab the hand that he was trying to raise. The poor thing was trying to speak, struggling through pain and shallow breathing. "S...S...Sl.." was all he could manage before he grit his teeth in pain.

"You must rest my friend, I will take care of you but you need to rest. You are badly injured..." he could feel him trying weakly to pull him closer.

"Sl..Slash...K..Keep...h...hh...here..." He began to cough, crying out as the motion caused stress and strain upon his shell. It wasn't long before it was too much. His eyes became dim before he lost consciousness again. Sighing he knew what needed to be done.

Standing up he walked to the lab door, opening it only enough for him to walk through with the bucket of bloody water. All eyes turned to him as he walked to the drain and poured it out. Moving to the fresh water pool Donatello created for the lair almost like a well. "He is not in good shape." He looked around to see the mutant that had caused the purple turtle such pain was not present.

"What do you mean?" the small voice came from Michelangelo.

"He has a broken right leg, several cuts cause from the metal net and glass. The break in his shell will heal but it will take much time." He sighed. "There was active semen found in his body and evidence of forceful insemination."

"I'll fucking kill 'im!" Raphael grabbed his Sais and ran toward the bathroom.

Leatherhead was quick to cut him off. "No!" he grabbed his friend by the arm. "Donatello woke only briefly and asked that he stay. I believe he wants you to allow him to be here in peace until he awakens and is fully able to deal with what is going on."

"Why would he..." he grit his teeth and backed down. "Only until Donnie wakes so's we can sort this shit out."

"Was there anything else he said?" Leonardo asked, moving closer with a look of concern on his face that matched the others.

"I am afraid not. I have only begun to examine him. While there is much on the three of you in his medical files there is very little on him." He turned to April. "Even you have far more information in your medical records he keeps." This was possibly due to the fact the others were not medically trained or even knew how or what to look for. "I wish to do all I can to fill in the blanks."

"Forceful...Insemination?" the orange banded turtle thought hard on what that meant. "LH what is..."

"It means he was...not willing to...mate." Leonardo tried to put it gently.

"HE RAPED HIM?!" Those baby blues began to tear up, his lower lip trembled.

"Yes." Leatherhead spoke softly. "I will not know the extent of the damage until I do a full evaluation. Yet from what I see...Donatello put up a fight." He walked to the bucket and picked it up on his way back into the Lab. "Keep Slash here...it's all he asked."


	21. Eggsposed

Positive.

The very word kept blinking on the screen. What he could not bring himself to believe, had it not been the 3rd time he had tested the sample. No. No this could not be right, it couldn't be. It was a mistake by Donatello's system, a flaw in his own understanding or perhaps he had tested it incorrectly.

He growled as he stood up. Taking the sample and tossing it with the other two. He would do it again. There was no way this was possibly. No way he could even dream such a reality. The machine was simply on the fritz. Donatello had to fix it. He had to. Obviously it had gone horribly unmaintained in his absence. Perhaps his brothers had gotten to it? Had they changed something to give this reading?

The mutant Gator shook his head and grabbed another sample, larger than the last, of the unconscious mutant's blood. As he drew the sample a thought dawned on him. Perhaps a physical exam was in order? It could clarify the results, give an alternative process and perhaps the results he hoped for.

Moving to the file, he read threw the overly complex words again. Noting log ago that his brothers medical files were easier to understand, using simple words but Donatello's own file was small and complex. Several times he had to search the meaning of the words and still they made little sense to him. It was clear he found something in himself that the others lacked. What he could not say, but he was trying to hide it.

"You have been suppressing your hormones with this..." he read into the results of the pills that the young turtle kept in his side drawer. "While they aid in your lung strength, allowing you to keep up with your brothers given your severe asthma, the side effect it suppressing your hormones." The other did not respond. He still lay unconscious, breaths fogging up the oxygen mask that covered his beak. He scratched his head with his claws. "It may explain why you are as unaffected by mating season as your brothers...then again..." he looked back to the sample he was running again.

His tail thumped against the floor as he thought. So much did not make sense. Even Donatello's scent was different from when they last had met before his capture. Could it be because he was mated? The gator shook his head. No, he did not smell much like Slash. It was a much sweeter scent, almost delicious smelling to be truthful. "What are you trying to hide my friend?

~LRDM~

"I do not care what you want to know or have to say." Slash was becoming more and more irritated by the second with their barrage of stupid questions and prodding. He had nothing to tell them, not that he wanted to say anything anyway. All of this was between him and his mate. "I have no obligation to tell anyone anything." He could see the look of anger and frustration in their eyes, part of him was satisfied.

"You need to tell us." Leo was trying to stay calm but it was very clear that he was struggling with containing his rage. "Any information you can give us would be beneficial to know just what happened during the time Donnie was missing. We have nearly four months to piece together. Do you even know how long he was with you during the mating season?"

"I fail to see how knowing that is beneficial to you." He crossed his arms, periodically looking to the lab door. "Seems as though it is pretty personal. Perhaps you are just trying to figure out how many times I could possibly have bred him..."

Raph got in his face, pushing his finger into his plastron. "One more fuck'en out burst like dat and I don't give a fuck what Master Splinter said, I will rearrange your fuck'en ugly ass mug!" He was pissed off at this...thing that he would dare to speak so vilely about such a thing. He didn't want to think of them doing... that!

"Big word coming from you, or did you forget I was there when you used to tell me what you wanted to do with him?" his cheeks turned as red as his bandana. Seems he didn't know Slash still had all of Spike's memories. This was kinda fun. "My favorite would be wanting to pin him against Leonard's door as he slept. Telling him to keep it down as you..."

"Are you kidding me Raph?!" there was a crack in Leo's voice. Clearly he was getting turned on by the idea, his own face was blushing as he turned his eyes away. "You really had to tell him something like THAT?!"

The red clad turtle pulled away. Uncharacteristically, silent now. "I didn't fuck'en think he would turn into a mutant..." he muttered under his breath before his eyes turned back to Slash. "How much do ya remember?" he scuffed.

His beak curled into a wicked grin. "Everything."

Emerald eyes stared at him with complete mortification.

"Raph you're sick, you know that!" Mikey pouted. He didn't want to hear this. Not form him and not about Raph and Donnie...doing perverted thing. Though, why hadn't he thought of that? Hell most of his fantasies revolved around Donnie and him holding hands and kissing. Man was he wanting to give that a try.

Slash looked to Mikey. "I remember a lot about you too." The younger turtle flinched and looked to him as if the ask what. "How does his gear smell?"

All eyes turned to him in bewilderment. Mikey rolled his eyes. "Doesn't mean much, I sniff a lot of things."

"And you call Raph sick..." Leo shook his head. "Glad I don't..."

The tortoise smirked even wider. "Such nasty things Leonardo...do you really think your father wouldn't know that it happened in his room?" Oh this was just too fun. Making them uneasy and bringing everything out to light.

"In Master Splinter's room?! Really Leo?!" Raph threw his hands up. Damn this family was fucking perverted. Then again what did he expect from a male dominant house hold?

Casey and April just stared at each other. Unsure how to act given the fact they were now imagining things they really really REALLY wish they hadn't. Even so, it was nice to see them relaxing even a little. Even if embarrassed they were laughing at the other's thoughts. April wondered how they would react if they knew what Donnie really was. "I want to tell them..." she said out loud.

"Splinter said he didn't want them to know. Not until he was sure that is what Donnie wanted. We don't even know if Donnie knows himself." Casey squeezed her hand, reassuring her it was for the best. From day one she wanted to tell them. Warn them that Donnie was much more then what they believed. "Donnie is home now. All we have to do is wait and see."

She looked to him. "Do you think he will be okay?" she asked. Recalling how he looked when she glanced at the open door to the Lab earlier. "He looked so hurt..."

"You try falling off a roof and look good." He chuckled but there was no humor behind it. "Leatherhead said he didn't think there was any immediate danger. Even the crack to his shell wasn't too bad, that it would heal."

She shook her head. "I'm not just talking physically..."

"Oh..." Of course it would be obvious to her, Donnie was going to need help. He was going to bottle it all in and put on a brave face. "I know you have plans to talk to him...but I don't think you are the best one to do that."

She shot her eyes around, almost taking it as an offense. "What do you mean? That I would only end up making him feel worse?"

He held his hands up. "Calm down Red, I don't mean it the way you think...it's just..." he didn't want to expose Donnie. He had been handling it well enough that she didn't have to know.

"Then how do you mean it?" she asked. Sometimes Casey was bad with his words, bad with explaining even the simplest things.

He took a deep breath. "He still loves you." he looked her reaction over and was shocked to find she didn't seem too surprised by it.

"I know." She spoke lowly. "I don't know why though..." she looked away. She knew why. Her hand gripped the string to her book bag. Should she tell him? Could she tell him? That all this time she was reading Donnie's personal thoughts in his Diary?

"I just don't think he will open up to you like you hope he would. He is going to struggle to open upto anyone and we all know that. It's Donnie." He could see in her eyes that she was not telling him something. "What's wrong April?" he asked.

She stiffened. "Wrong? Me? Nothing is wrong why?" she pulled the bag close and sat it on her lap. "What do you know?"

"I know you are acting weird and it's because of something in your bag." He raised a brow. This was defiantly new for her.

She sighed. If she couldn't trust her boyfriend then who could she trust? Slowly she opened the bag and pulled out one of the books. "I happened upon them when I was in his lab...I didn't meant to but..." she looked him in the eyes. "Casey, he doesn't know. He knows he's different and Splinter said that he was found upside down and submerged in the mutagen. He doesn't realize that..." she bit her lip.

He looked at it, just the outside was enough to tell him what it was and that she shouldn't have looked in it. Weren't girls like...super protective of diaries? Or was it only their own? "Red you shouldn't have read this..." he looked in the bag and saw more. "You read them all?" he was glad the others were at the other end of the lair, bickering loud enough to drown their soft voices out. "You shouldn't have done that..."

"I didn't mean to...but I found out so much about him! Stuff I am sure even his brothers don't know." Somehow knowing all of it made her feel...special. "Reading it...I don't think Donnie is okay...even before all of this...what he wrote sometimes...it's so sad...so dark..." her eyes shown with compassion.

He took the book and put it back in the bag. "It wasn't for you to read. April, I know you meant well but those are Donnie's thoughts. If you know he still loves you how do you think he will fell knowing you invaded his privacy like this?"

She felt tears swell in her eyes. "He said he wanted to die because I didn't love him..."

Casey froze...looking at her and not knowing what to do. How did she feel about that? And if she had read the diaries did she know about their deal? "Shhh..." he held her closed. "He is talking because he is hurt. He was venting and he knows that you care about him and love him." He pet her head softly. "We can talk about those later. Just relax okay."

She held him tightly. He was such a good boyfriend. A fool sometimes...but...he wasn't very romantic...the things Donnie said...it was as if she were truly a princess in a fairytale. Why couldn't he have said such before, the way it was written in the diary?

"I love you April." He smiled and gave her a soft kiss.

"I love you too." She smiled, but there was little joy in it.

~LRDM~

Positive.

There was no denying it now, even as he finished the physical exam the results were the same. He sighed and turned to the small turtle with sorrow and pity in his eyes. Leatherhead rose from the stool and moved to the door.

The moment he opened it the bickering stopped and they looked to him. He looked to the youngest. "Could you bring Splinter to me?" he asked. Everyone exchanged concerned looks. "It is nothing bad I assure you...I just need to know a few things." That seemed to relieve them of their fears.

The old rat came in no time. He never looked at the others as he entered the lab with him, they shut and locked the doors. Leatherhead turned on some music to ensure none would hear what he had to say.

"Tell me, what news do you have?" the old rat was quite worried. You could see it in his face as he looked over his son, gently petting his head.

The gator was not sure how to say this. Given everything that had happened he wasn't even sure he wanted to believe it, but there was no way to deny it. Not after 4 blood tests and a physical exam.

"Donatello...He..." his lower jaw clenched as he struggled to find the strength. "He is..." he wasn't sure he could come out and say it. No matter how hard he tried. Even as he looked into those old yet hopeful eyes. "You are going to be a grandfather."

For the first time in Hamato Yoshi's life...he could see nothing but red.


	22. Fury

There was no mercy for them. Not a single one as the Shredder beat each and last one of his subordinates for their inexcusable failure. The vial pig was his current obsession, the bastard that he was told could have possibly killed the turtle he needed, having shot his net when the foolish mutant reptile was on the edge of the building.

"Please Master Shredder!" he was currently bleeding from his arm, enough blood to be concerned with, if he even gave a shit. "I don't think that turtle is dead! Hurt maybe but..." that did nothing to quell the Lord's anger. All the others were scattered across the room, beaten, broken and bloody. None wishing to trade places with the pig.

"And is that to make me feel better?!" he pointed to the large cage where his daughter laid captive. Even after many days she still was fighting to break free. The battle to get her from the Kraang had been quick; having set the trap for them that went flawlessly. "I will have your head for this..." He raised his blades above his head fully intent on making the other pay with his life.

"Wait!" the Rhino mutant stood up, holding his bleeding face. "I saw them go in sewer. I have reason to suspect they are hiding, yes? Will it not do to place trap for other turtles? Draw them out and try to confirm if desired turtle is dead?" he asked. Offering anything he can to save his friend. "Maybe if lucky, we grab another turtle or human girl and offer trade?"

Shredder growled. The bastard made sense. It was possible to do so but they would need time to set the trap. Even if they can confirm the other turtle was alive then there was still hope to capture him. "One last chance." He kicked the pig across the room and into the Rhino mutant. "If you fail me again, heads will roll!"

~LRDM~

Leatherhead knew he shouldn't have told him. He knew he should have remained silent and told Donatello instead. Yet, another part of him knew better. There was still a chance that they could...

Splinter had to calm his rage. His mind circled through any excuse he could find that this was not and could not be true. Yet Mr. O'Neal's discovery came to his mind. There was a possibility that this was a mistake. It had to be. Perhaps Leatherhead was not aware how Donatello's machines worked?

"Are you sure...are you absolutely sure?" the father looked at him with hopeful eyes, hoping that this was a mistake.

"I have tested his blood 4 times and did a physical exam..." he walked over to the unconscious turtle, pointing to the lower half of his plastron. "You can see its raising...and..."he lowered his claw to the small turtle's legs before he withdrew them. "Needless to say I am sure."

Splinter's eyes narrowed as he turned from the room, offering a soft thank you before he opened the door. Calmly, he searched the faces for the one who had done such a thing to his son. Slowly, he moved to the beast, ignoring all the questions being asked by his other sons. It took every ounce or restraint he had not to snap the beast's neck. Hooking the cane into the plastron of the large tortoise, he yanked him down to his height, locking eyes with him.

"YOU will follow me to the dojo." He snapped. He could see the fear in the beast's eyes. Good, he should fear him. "He looked to his speechless sons and their human friends. "YOU will NOT follow. Whomever I catch near the dojo will regret disobeying me!" he looked at all their faces. "Am I clear?!" everyone was quick to respond in the affirmative.

He did not release the dark skinned beast, just dragged him along by his shell to the dojo as he felt the eyes of the others burn into his back. Once they were close enough, he whirled the cane around, throwing the fool in the dojo in one swift motion before using his tail to knock his feet from under him. He slammed the door to the dojo, before having never been used, behind him.

"Listen, I already told them, I am not leaving my..." the rat was on him in a heartbeat, cane pressed hard against his throat.

"If would be wise to chose your words quite carefully! I am not one to be as forgiving as my sons." He pressed harder, wanting to keep it there until the bastard stopped moving. "You will listen to me, you will answer me, or so help you I will ensure you will never see MY son again!" he removed the cane and backed off.

Slash coughed as the pressure was released. Damn, he always thought the turtles just took it easy on the old man but hell he could fucking see why they had a hard timed. "I really can't bring myself to care about what you have to say." He could see the rage building. "Won't change the fact that he is mine...."

The Ninja master was not even seen moving when he flew back and hit the tree. Once again the old rat was on him before he could blink. "I warned you to be wise with your words. He is not yours and if you keep foolishly assuming you will leave this dojo alive I will ensure your end is anything but peaceful!" he backed up, kicking the larger mutant to his knees. "I have said once before, I will not hesitate to kill you if I deem you a threat to the well being of MY child!" he had lost his Miwa, he would not lose Donatello as well.

The younger mutant gulped. He was clearly no match for irate father. How could he be, the rat was once a highly trained human, being a rat only heighted his senses. "No promises." He scuffed. He wasn't sure what the rat had to say, but he knew it pertained to Donatello.

A small victory. Yoshi remained standing, putting himself higher than the fool that dared to cause so much trouble for him and his son. "You claim you and he are mated. It is mutual?" he wanted to know if Donatello was a willing participant. That perhaps there was something more between the two in the time he had been missing.

Slash growled. So the bastard didn't know. Why would he? He had been held up in the dojo the whole time meditating. "Does it make a difference?" he shot back. Not the best idea as it earned him a smack to the side of his head with the cane. It was powerful, but he could tell the rat was holding back.

"I will not repeat myself!" he slammed the cane down upon the tatami mats. His voice booming louder then Slash had ever heard. "Did you force yourself on my son?!"

"Yes."

That one simple word and he was seeing red again. The child was not conceived of love. There was possibility that Donatello would resent the child, living as a constant reminder of what had happened to him. He could not fathom what it would be like for his son when he wakes. To find out such news when he himself did not know that he could even carry life within him.

Using his cane, he pulled on the beast's neck forcing his head down to the mats below. "You dare to force such a thing upon my son and claim he is yours?! Give me one good reason I should even least you continue to exist upon this earth let alone within my home?!"

"Because your son wants me here." He spoke with a slight crack in his voice. "I came here because you are the only ones I trust to help him. I knew the risk it would bring and I came anyway." He didn't fight it. What would he fight his mate's father? He was clearly outmatched, and if he did it would not be favorable to winning his mate's affection.

"And I am to believe that is to make up for keeping him from us?" he wrapped his tail around the thick wrist, bending it back at an uncomfortable angle. "How long have you had him?"

The large mutant grit his teeth. "A little over a month!" he growled out. "I didn't even take him from the Kraang! I was locked up in a cage!"

"By the Kraang?" Last month was mating season for his sons, perhaps this one had such a thing as well.

He shook his head. "I was in the sewers with my brother...the one Michelangelo calls Newtralizer." Trying to pry the tail from his wrist with his other hand, he continued to spill all he knew. "He went to the Kraang facility where Donatello was kept and brought him back...He said I deserved as mate but I wasn't in my right mind. I was primal...I built the cage so I wouldn't hurt anyone..." the tail pulled harder. "Gahhh! The moment I came to I took Donnatello away from my brother! He wanted to come home but I wanted to keep him away from the rival mates!"

"My sons?" He raised a brow. Rival mates? Was it possible that given Donatello's...uniqueness, that even his brothers had such an interest in him? He stroked his beard in though.

"Yes! Even I seen how Leonardo cooed when he had Donatello during his first season! You cant tell me you didn't suspect such a thing..." his eyes went wide. "You had no clue did you?"

The old rat jerked the wrist back before letting it go. He said nothing, only took a deep breath to calm himself. If what he said was true, then that is perhaps why Donatello did not wish to blame him. Even the old rat knew what his own sons were like during that time, even enough to keep April away. He had thought that they would only seek out females. Yet, given Mr. O'Neal's observation and the child now growing within his son...it is clear to him now that he should have been far more observant.

He turned again to the large mutant, wondering why he did not fight back once. "Do you have feelings for my child?" he asked. He wanted honesty. It was clear that he thought of Donatello as a possession. Were there true feelings behind it or just motivation of lust and instinct.

"I...care." He said. Would he call it love? Did he want love? Hell he was a fucking tortoise before he was mutated. An animal. He didn't feel love. He only felt attraction and the need to procreate.

The ninjutsu master could not help be see the parallels between him and Raphael. "To care is not enough." He slammed the cane down. "Until my son wakes, you will be welcome here. As long as he wills it, you may remain. Should he refuse your company, I will personally see to it you never set foot in my home again! Am I clear?!"

Slash could tell something rattled the old bastard, something having to do with why that gator called him into the room. "Only if you tell me what the gator mutant told you." Oh he wanted answers too.

Splinter stiffened but a moment and he knew the other had seen it. There was no denying those keen eyes of his. Even so, this beast was indeed the father of the child he had a right to know. "Donatello is carrying a new life." He watched the reaction, watching it closely for how the tortoise truly felt for his son.

The large mutant furrowed his brows for a moment. Trying to contemplate what was just said to him. New life...His eyes widened and he shot to his feet. "We are going to have hatchlings?!" there was no hiding the smile on his face, the sheer and utter joy he felt. "I am going to be a father!"


	23. Three Brothers and a Sister

The dojo was eerily silent.

It was unnerving to the point Mikey was squirming in his seat. Even he could sense how distraught their father was. Just staring at his back as he looked at the image of his departed wife Tang Shen and daughter Miwa, they knew the news was life changing. While they could hear little of what was said while Slash was in the room, seeing him leave covered in bruises but in a far better mood made them quite curious...and fearful.

"My sons..." Splinter turned to them, sorrow in his eyes though he tried so very hard to keep his strength. "We have much to speak of. I will ask that none of you speak until I have finished all I have said. Promise me you will understand my judgment and that you will not act rashly."

Leonardo stared at his father, unsure of what to make of anything that had been going on. It all was happening so fast and by the looks of it, Slash had spilled certain details to him that they had wanted to keep under wraps. The boys had long ago agreed, when they found out the others had requested Donnie as their mate, to forgo telling their father. They did not wish to upset him and were unsure if he would ever approve of such. Splinter was a traditional man, one that would bar such relationships under his roof. Yet, Leo longed to have his father's blessing on his relationship, especially if it was with Donnie. It would have made things cleaner when, heaven forbid it anytime soon, Splinter passed and Leo took over as head of the clan. He wanted to have Donnie close at his side. Even now as he watched him, he never before seen him look so...old.

Raphael was fuming. How dare his former best friend think he could take and lay claim to his mate? He was the first to kiss him, he knew that. Hell even April never dared to touch his virgin lips, no matter how hard Don had wished it. He was grateful to her for that, it kept his brother's lips pure for him. Though, as he looked at his father, there was an odd sense of dread. Something he could not put his finger on. Even now as he watched him, he never before seen him look so...old. He wanted nothing more than for the family to be safe and happy, but he could tell that his father would never get his wish. Something in those old eyes told him that Splinter knew about them and what they wanted from Donnie.

Michelangelo could not sit still. No matter how hard he tried. He wanted to talk, to tell his father everything that was going on, about their agreements, about his confession to Donnie, about everything. He felt dirty keeping it a secret and no matter how awkward it would be for him to confess to his father that he wanted to sleep with his elder brother, he felt it had to be known. Even now as he watched him, he never before seen him look so...old. It made him even more fearful of telling his father anything. Donnie often said Splinter did not need such stress, especially after last winter, when they thought they were going to lose him. Donnie had found away to help, though he never explained how.

None of them knew what was going on nor how to comprehend it. Things were happing fast, too fast for their liking. They heard the beating Slash was given, the raised angry voice of their father that made them wince. They were fearful. Fearful of what Slash would do to him, given that their father was quite old. Though part of them beamed with pride when Slash left the dojo covered in bruises but concerned when they seen him smiling.

"Do you all agree?"

"Hai Sensei." They spoke in unison. Though each knew it was going to be a hard task to remain silent.

He wished he didn't have to be the one to break the news to them but it was better coming from him. "I have...unexpected news." He was not sure if he should call it delightful or sorrowful. He had yet to know if Donatello would think of this as either or if he would want to keep and raise the child. "We will have a new member of the clan soon..."

"Ya mean he is gonna marry Donnie?!" Raphael stood up, anger flashing in his eyes. "Ya can't be serious! He raped him!"

Leonardo nodded in agreement. "I do not think it would be wise sensei..."

Michelangelo kept crying no.

He slammed his cane down. "I have asked you to remain silent until I have finished speaking!" his voice boomed. They sat up straight and silenced their complaints. Even Raphael sat back down. "I would never agree to such without consulting your brother first. Donatello is in no condition to agree to anything." He sighed heavily. "Slash is to remain here until Donatello requests that he leave. Given the current situation...I cannot say what the future will bring until I speak with your brother."

He could see the confusion in their eyes. None of them quite understanding his choice, they must have figured he would cast Slash out now that they have Donatello. "In order for you to fully understand I will have to start at the beginning." He went to the mutagen container that his youngest called mom. "When I came to, you three were splattered with mutagen crawling around near me...Donatello..." he closed his eyes, recalling the image so vividly.

The shattered glass floated near him, yet the small turtle's beautifully colored jade skin slowly began to grow lighter. He was upside down, unable to turn over in the small confines of the container and submerged in the odd liquid. He set the others in a small empty box he found and moved to help the last. Hands shaking as he poured the container out, gently flipping the tot on his plastron. He was not moving, was not breathing and felt far too cold to the touch.

He had panicked. Quickly patting the turtle on the back, hoping to rid it of what was inhaled. After a time the tot indeed coughed up quite a sum of the glowing green goo, much to the newly mutated rat's relief.

"He was once a vibrant jade in color, one of the many reasons I had chosen him at the pet shop. Yet, I have now come to know the salesman in that shop had been mistaken when he sold me four male turtles." He turned to him, eyes looking on at each of his sons. "One was a female."

The brothers looked at each other in confusions as if to suspect it was one of them before almost at once it clicked. "Donnie..." The old rat nodded. "It has come to my attention since your brother's absence that he was born a female. By some strange mutation, he never showed the characteristics of such before." He stroked his beard. He could see they wished to talk and ask questions, perhaps now would be perfect time to do so. "I will allow questions..."

Mikey was hinking hard, trying to understand everything that had just been thrown at them. "So you're telling us Donnie is actually our sister?" Mikey blurted out. "All this time he was a she?!" he was trying to process that, wanting to understand that he had heard it correctly.

"Yeah, numbskull." Raph smacked him in the back of the head. "Aint ya heard a word he said?" even so he could hardly believe it himself. "All dis time...it would explain a lot."

Leo was silent, thinking on this new information before looking at his father. "Was she aware?" If so, why had Donnie found a need to hide this?

The master shook his head. "I do not believe so. As I have said, he has never show signs until recently. Moreover, I would advise to call him by the male pronouns. He maybe biologically female but he still believes himself male." He could see that they understood that. "I want to make sure you are also understood this will be of a great shock to him. It will cause him stress to know this and it is not good for him in the condition he is in. I want you all to give him space and not cause any further unneeded stress. For this I will be limiting your visiting hours with him once he wakes..." He was slammed with an onslaught of complaints but one glare and they were quelled.

"He will need his rest and regardless of your wants and desires his recovery will be our top priority." He knew that they were not going to put themselves before their injured brother, but he wanted to make such clear. "Now, to continue. I am sure we are well aware of what...transpired during mating season between Slash and Donatello." He did not want to say such a word. "It would seem he was with Slash for nearly the whole of Mating Season. Given this time Slash was likely not aware of his actions, given that you three were also not aware of your own. We cannot fully blame him, as he advises that his brother Newtralizer was the one whom brought Donatello to him. Once your brother awakes I shall ask him to confirm this story, until then we will believe him and welcome him." There was sharpness to his voice, a warning that he was not to be disobeyed.

There was enough going on right now and the less stress on Donatello the better. There was no telling what the future will bring nor how well his intelligent son will face it. He will need help, guidance, and lots of support. No matter what his choice was.

"It is with all of this in consideration, that I have...more news." He wasn't sure how they would take it. If they would think it good like Slash or perhaps they would take it to heart and reject the child. He hoped in the bottom of his heart they would embrace it. "I am aware you all have been attempting to court your brother."

The sheer look of mortification on their faces proved beyond a doubt that this was correct. None of them could make eye contact with him now, each showing signs of shame in their actions. What had they done to him that caused them to feel this way? Why had Donatello never come to him if his brothers had gotten so out of line? Splinter sighed and sat before them, knees tucked under him and cane to the side.

"I am not upset by this." All three looked to him in disbelief. "Slash has brought it to my attention that you were never human, so you would not think nor act as a human would. It also reminds me of what your brother had told me, back when Leonard had his first season. Where my human side is dominant, yours is recessive. It is a secondary trait as you were born turtles. I cannot fault you nor deny your biology no more than I can fault the sun for giving into the moon." He stroked his beard. "It is also well known according to Donatello that your species of turtle is not monogamous..."

Mikey raised his hand, once their father looked at him and nodded he timidly asked his question. "What is...monogamious?"

"Monogamous means to have one partner. Like swans they mate for life, turtles do not." Splinter said softly. He could see his sons looking about at each other. Perhaps they had not taken such into consideration before, even if they had he did not want them pressuring Donatello into anything. "I want you all to be well aware that I am going to consult your brother, Leatherhead and even Slash on this. We will discuss more on it in the future and..."

Raph raised his hand now. "Master, why consult Slash? He's da one who fucked everything up." He flinched at the glare he got for using such foul language. There was no hesitation in bowing his head as he asked forgiveness.

"Slash..." Splinter held up a file taken from Donatello's cabinet of villains as his youngest had put it. Each file details important information about each of their enemies and even allies, they are of course in a different cabinet. "According to his notes, you all were mutated because you had human DNA upon you. Let's say that makes you 50% human. Since Slash was last touched by Raphael before he mutated, he is 25% human, making him more animalistic then you, my sons." He could see that they understood, perhaps Donatello had told them as well. "He also remembers what it was like as a turtle, you my sons do know remember such before your mutation. This is why I will be consulting with him as well."

Leo raised his hand now. "Master, forgive me for speaking out of turn but, I fail to see how any of that truly pertains to Donnie. I feel as if you are hiding something from us." He tilt his head to the side.

He let a small smile form on his lips, ever the perceptive one. "You are right. There is more to all of this, though I question if you are ready to hear it." His smile faded as he shook his head. His sons were nearly adults. He could not shelter them forever, they need to know and understand what was happening, he had to tell them now. "I am sure not even your brother is aware of this, given the events of the past month. I myself am finding it difficult to process this..." he cleared his throat, sat up straight and stared at his sons. "Donatello will be welcoming a new Hamato to the clan."

Mikey scuffed. "Master Splinter you already told us Slash maybe staying..." he was cut off by the sound of Raph's angry roar, one he had never heard before. He turned to his brother, noting him already being held back by Leo. It scared him, never had he seen Raph so angry before.

"Raphael, you will calm yourself at once!" Splinter was on his feet, trying to assist his eldest in holding him back. He never expected this. His son was far beyond his ability to reach him, having let go or reason and take on the full power of his rage.

Leo struggled to hold him back. Raph maybe on the shorter side but he was nothing but muscle and power. "I don't understand! Master, what do you mean? Why is Raph wigging out?!" He heard the same thing, understanding it just as Mikey had.

Splinter grit his teeth, finally able to subdue Raphael enough to elaborate. "Donatello is going to have a child." The look on his eldest's face was something he never seen before nor wished to ever see again. IT was there but a moment, but that was enough to allow Raphael to slip past their grip and take off out of the dojo, sais drawn.

All that could be heard was April's screams for him to stop.


	24. Strong Enough

April screamed as she was pushed behind Casey. He took a defensive stance before her, willing to protect her with his life. Both had been taken back by the sudden roar from the Dojo soon followed by a murderous turtle darting out and at the tortoise. In the process of reaching his desired target he almost knocked April over.

Slash was caught off guard, now having his former friend clinging to his back as he yelled and cursed him, punching him where he could reach. The black skinned tortoise was able to grab hold of him, throwing him off but never taking a stand against him, even if he wanted to. He would remain true to his vow, he would not hurt his mate's brothers.

Raph was able to recover quickly, landing on his feet as he skid across the lair. "I'LL FUCK"EN KILL YA!" he shouted, running back at him with the full intent to murder him. He could not hear the shouts from his family nor see them. His eyes were locked and fixated on the bastard that had hurt his brother, his chosen mate. "I HATE YOU!" No matter what he did the other only blocked, pushed and defended. He never once launched a blow at him, only further enraging him.

"RAPHAEL!" Splinter's own voice boomed but his son was lost to his rage. Tears filled the old rat's eyes as he could see the same anger and rage that had befallen his own brother and friend so long ago. "I have failed you my son..." Try as he may, a part of him always knew his hot tempered son would lose to the rage in his heart.

Leo watched, half hoping Raph would kill the bastard. Yet upon seeing his father's tears he knew he needed to take action. "Mikey..." he turned to see the horror in his little brother's eyes. "Come on, I need you to help Master Splinter..." He snapped him out of it, Mikey took their father and kept him back away from the fight. Leo ran in, trying to keep Raph from getting hurt either by himself or the bastard. "Raph stop it! You are tearing this family apart!"

Oh those only made him angrier. The red banded turtle turned his white eyes to the fearless leader. "DON'T FUCK'EN DEFEND 'EM!" He went back to attacking the beast, hoping to tear him a new asshole but only managed minor cuts. He tried harder to sever something vital, knowing he would relish in watching him bleed out.

"Raph STOP IT!" Mikey cried, tears flowing freely from his eyes as he held tighter to their father. He hated this. Hated what the family was becoming. He wanted it to go back, back before Donnie went missing. He wanted his brothers back, when they joked and had fun, not like this. Not divided and fighting.

The blue clad brother narrowed his eyes. Already the child was causing issues within the family. Causing trouble and dividing them. Gritting his teeth, he tried to think of anything he could do to help. Leatherhead...he was strong, possibly strong enough to hold an enrage Raph. Without hesitating he opened the lab door, clearly startling the gator. "I need your help to control Raph, he didn't take the news well!"

Leatherhead stood abruptly, seeing the chaos outside before he wasted no time in running to help, driven by the cries of his orange clad friend. The lair was pretty trashed by then, he had to navigate through the broken dishes, appliances and he wasn't quite sure what else.

They each took a chance at grabbing hold of him. Each found it far harder than they had thought. He was strong like this, yet they knew in no time he would burn himself out, expelling too much energy to keep it going long.

Slash wasn't helping him at all. Joining in on the insults, slinging the shit right back at him. "Are you angry that I had him first?! Or pissed because it's my hatchling and not yours?!" Oh he knew he was going to pay for this, but he said he wouldn't hurt them. He didn't count his wounded pride. "I never used his mouth, maybe I will use it once he wakes up, just to be sure you don't get the chance!"

"BASTARD!" he charged at him, locking his sais in his spiked shell, he swung back and forth, punching him in the head as he tried to throw him off. He got a few good hits before Slash grabbed him and threw him hard across the lair, through the open door of the lab and toward Donatello. Raph was able to use his sais to dig into the stone floor, stopping himself just before hitting the resting turtle.

Everyone had held their breath, watching as Raphael was thrown toward Donnie, each so afraid that he would hurt him even more. Slash moved toward them, wanting to handle his mate should he be injured but Leo stopped him, warning him if he come any closer he would not hesitate to use his ninjatos against him.

"YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT HIM!" he grit his teeth. "NONE OF YOU CARE ABOUT HIM! IF YOU DID YOU WOULDN'T LET THAT BASTARD STAY HERE!" he readied the attack, hoping that this time...this time he would finally end it.

A gentle touch to his hand, Raph shot his white eyes to his own hand, following the arm to the injured turtle. "Raphie..." his voice was so small as he spoke, so weak and tired. So kind. His rage died as quickly as it came, he dropped the sais and held both his hands to his brother's.

Reddish brown eyes sparkled as a small sweet smile graced his lips. "Raphie...don't be mad...you scare Mikey when you get like that." Donnie watched as his elder brother buried his tear filled eyes in his hand. "Raphie...what's wrong?"

So many emotions ran through him. Anger, hate, sorrow, relief, pain. The use of his old nickname from when they were kids made him recall thing he rather leave buried. Of when they were tots. How he almost got Donnie killed. He nuzzled the gentle hand of his ever concerned brother. The brother that was too good for any of them. As he was fighting, Don was worried about him and how he was making Mikey cry. "I hate myself..." he finally muttered. He fell to his knees looking at his brother with sorrowful emerald eyes. "It's meh fault." He choked back a sob. "If I hadn't blamed ya...if I had taken better care of da mutagen...Spike would never have become Slash...none of dis would have happened to ya." He tightened his grip on the olive skinned hand. "I'm sorry Don...so fucken sorry..."

"It's not your fault Raphie..." Donnie spoke, tears in his eyes not from the pain his body was in but for how broken Raph was because of him. "You didn't do this to me. Spike didn't do this to me..." he laughed softly, lightheartedly. "I'm the one who left the lair. I'm the one who ran off and got caught." The weak turtle tried to sit up.

Raph was quick to try and push him back down but the stubborn turtle refused. So he helped him up. He could see all the bandages, all the wounds that had been inflicted on his brother during his fight with the Kraang, Newtralizer, Slash and the whole of Shredder's mutant army. "Donnie..."

Said turtle leaned on Raph's shoulder, using it for support. "I missed you." He took off the oxygen mask. "I missed all of you...and...I'm so happy to be home." The poor turtle's breaths were shallow and quick, never once complaining of pain as he listened to him.

Donnie always felt safe with Raphie when they were younger, even now he felt comfort in having him close. Raphie always seemed so warm to him, despite his cold personality at times, he always had a soft spot for him. Something that Donnie was grateful for, happy even that this did not change. That he still had Raphie to keep him safe and warm.

The older turtle smiled then. Wiping away his younger brother's tears. "We know ya are. Relax...aint no one..." he looked to Slash, he wanted to move, to get him off his mate but he held back. "Aint no one gonna take you away from here. Not now not ever again." He moved from Donnie, laying him down just a moment before walking to the lab door.

"RAPH!" Leo darted at the door, knowing what he would do. "Don't!" It was too late. The Lab door was slammed shut and locked. He pounded on it, banging it with his fists. Yet he knew it was no use. Donnie had made it a shelter; near impenetrable from the outside, hell he even reinforced the...Leo took off, running past the turnstiles toward the garage door. Again he was too late. He was just able to see Raph's feet as he slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Raphie?" the weak voice drew him back. It sounded pitiful, but he really didn't want to be alone. He was afraid to be alone right now because of all that had happened when his brothers were not there.

"I'm here Donnie..." he began. Fist in tight balls. "I wanna talk..." He turned to him. Slowly he walked back, his eyes red and swollen from crying as he grabbed a stool and set it down by the table that Donnie was laying on his side.

The soft hand reached for his face, his thumb wiping the tears away. "You must be so pent up...without me here to help you..." Donnie shook his head. "I never meant to leave...I was scared to lose you all..."

"Shhhh..." he could hear them banging, but the sound was muffled. "I know ya didn't wanna. It's been hard around here, with fearless act'en all high and mighty. I cant talk to 'em or Mikey...not even ta Splinter..." He put his hand over his brother's as it remained on his face. "I don't know how ya do it Don, but ya always calm me down. Ya know just what ta say ta make it better." He looked so weak, so tired, there was no way Donnie would be strong enough to push that kid out.

He chuckled. "Does that mean I'm...your favorite?" he was joking of course. Yet it made Raph smile. That's all that mattered. "Go on...tell me all about...what I missed."

"Don't think ya like it Don...Ya want gumdrops er Honesty?" He already knew what Donnie would want. Whenever they had their little therapy sessions, he always pushed him to be honest about how he felt. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away from him.

"Honesty." Hell his voice was so weak and small for him. He hated it. Hated how small he sounded and how small he felt. How he couldn't help himself, but he could at least lay there and listen to his brother. To help him in any way possible.

Raph smiled more. "Alright. Honesty it is."

~LRDM~

"It's no use, we can't get in!" April sighed as she sat beside Casey. "Donnie made sure we would survive an apocalypse in there." She had helped him build it, piece by piece, ensuring that if the foot ever did come down there, they would be safe. Hell there was even a hidden vault of nonperishable food and dozens of bottles of water if they needed to stay in there for a long period of time.

Slash growled, just imagining Raphael and what he could be doing in there made him enraged. Perhaps it was a mistake to bring him here after all. He should have taken his chances with his own brother, he doubted he would try something like he had again, but still...what more could he do?

"It's your fault!" Leo snapped as he tried to pick the outer lock. "Damn it Donnie..." he muttered as he broke yet another pick. He only had three and this was his last chance to try and get in.

"My fault? He's the one that ran out like some demon hell bent on ripping my throat out!" He snarled, slamming his fist into the wall.

Mikey shot up, moving toward the far larger tortoise with his arms crossed. "You're that one who got Donnie's eggo preggo! You're also the one who encouraged Raph by saying those sexual things about Donnie! AND you're the one who threw him in there in the first place!" he huffed.

"Wait..." Casey looked at all of them. "Donnie is pregnant?! Since when?!" Oh shit this was way messed up. "So tall dark ad gruesome here is the dad?!"

"Got a problem with that meat stick?" Slash snorted.

"I wanna see a paternity test." April muttered, hoping that Donnie wasn't going to be bound to that monster for the rest of his life.

He turned to the girl. The one person he still considered a true threat. Anyone could see that Donatello still had feelings for her. "You will never know how lucky you are." He walked toward her, prompting Casey to stand between them. "All he ever cared about was you. Those late nights in the lab, countless explosions trying to create retromutagen after you walked out on him, after you said you hated him." He lowered himself to her height. "Do you really care about him? Or are you more preoccupied with yourselfish desires?"

"Hey back off her!" Casey pushed him back with his hockey stick. He wasn't afraid to take him on. "You don't know shit about them or what the fuck is going on."

"Don't I?" he asked. "I know far more then you think." He leaned forward, looking her in the eyes. "Do you just like to play games with him? Small kisses as reward for when he does something for you?" he scuffed. "Nothing more than a tease."

Casey pushed him back. "What the fuck is your problem?! Do you get off on pissing people off?!" He pushed him again. "You need to just stay away from her you hear me?!" He smacked his shell hard with the hockey stick, shattering it. Casey didn't care, he only wanted to make his point.

"Pathetic." He grumbled, moving to look at Leatherhead who was speaking with Splinter.

"I am sure that Donatello will be fine without me to oversee him. He is very stable and I am sure will make it through. The crack in his shell will heal in time but it is unknown if it will scar or not." The mutant gator spoke soft yet reassuring words to the old father.

Splinter nodded. "Thank you, for everything." He turned from the scene. "Raphael will not hurt Donatello, give him time and I am sure he will come out." He slowly walked to the dojo. "I need to meditate..."

"Damn it!" Leo broke the last pick. Clearly they were not getting in there until Raph opened the door. Who knew how long that would take? He leaned his shell against the wall and sighed. That bastard was going to be in a world of shit when he got out.

"Leo..." Mikey sat next to him. "Don't be hard on Raph when he comes out." There was no joy in his voice. Even now it was far too serious of a situation to take lightly. "I know what he did wasn't right, but...he hasn't been able to talk to anyone about stuff...ya know like he can with Donnie." Mikey already knew why Raph sealed himself in there. Why he needed time to talk with Donnie.

"Why cant he open up to me or you or even Master Splinter?" He was frustrated. If he was the leader why did everyone go to Donnie for everything? Was it because the hated him? Lately he had been feeling the pressure as well, building up because he couldn't vent without Donnie, perhaps Raph was more so.

"Those therapy sessions work for him...and besides you know why he cant talk to you about it." Mikey smiled and pushed him. "Most of them are about you!" he chuckled softly. "Even so, I know Raph wont hurt him. He always had a soft spot for Donnie. Ever since..." his voice was low.

The eldest sighed. "I thought he left that in the past. They were just kids..."

"Raph is still upset about it. Donnie came so close to no longer being with us." Mikey sighed and stood up. "Chill out on him bro, Raph will be just fine when he comes out, you'll see." He gave a smile before turning to April and Casey. "So whose turn is it to pick the pizza anyway?"

~LRDM~

"And I never felt so angry in meh life then when we found out ya were taken by Slash..." Raph pulled the blanket up, ensuring to keep Donnie warm. "I never thought I could get so mad, until just a bit ago..." it felt so much better then bottling everything up. To just let it flow out like a flood gate.

"You need...to remember your...breathing." Donnie's eyes were half lidded. He was tired but he knew Raph needed to vent or another violent outburst was sure to happen. "Whenever...you feel...upset...in through...your nose...out through...your mouth...slowly..."

"I know Don, but it aint always as easy as ya make it." He squeezed his hand again. Having told him nothing of their recent revelations, he just couldn't bring himself to tell him. "I don't see how ya always follow Fearless. Hell even Mikey don't always listen to 'em."

The younger turtle smiled. "Because...he needs...someone to..." he closed his eyes, wanting a moment to think clearly. "Leo...is under a lot...of pressure...pressure you would...understand..." he opened his eyes. "Like you...he talks...to me...about it..." he looked his brother in the eyes.

Raph sighed. "Yeah but I still don't get why he made ya his second. I've got a good idea why..." he was sure it was to try and win favor with Donnie. "But..." he was cut off by his brother.

"He...didn't...Master Splinter...did..." Raphie's eyes widened, clearly he never thought of that possibility. "Leo...originally...wanted you..." he shifted slightly on the hard metal bed, gritting his teeth as he felt the pain shoot through him.

"What are ya talking about?" Master Splinter told Leo no? Why did Splinter choose Don over him? "Why Donnie boy?"

He frowned. "You...let anger...guide you...just like today...you didn't...care about...those around you...just...blindly charged in..."

"He raped ya Donnie, what was I supposta do?! As ya big brother? I'm supposta protect ya." Raph felt like a failure. Felt like he had let Donnie down because he wasn't there, he didn't stop it. "I shoulda been there...I shoulda stopped ya from running off that day...I shoulda been stronger..." he couldn't hide the tears as they fell from his eyes. He failed him.

"Raphie..." Donnie reached his hand up and gently thumbed his tears away. "It is not...your fault...it is not...Spike's fault..." He watched as his strong brother looked at him, eyes so pitiful and filled with sorrow all because of him. It broke his heart. "I ran off...I thought I...could out run...them...could of...gotten...away..." he tried to hide the pain in his voice. "Newtralizer...he took me...from the...Kraang...Spike...was locked...in a cage...it was...Mating Season..." his hand trembled. "I was gone...three days...here passed...three months...gone so long..."

Raph lowered himself to Donnie. Pressing his forehead against the other's. "I wont let it happen again. Donnie boy ya hear me? Aint no one gonna touch you like that again...Not Slash, not Leo, nor Mikey...Nor me." He held his head between his hands, his eyes looking into his brother's. "I'm gonna protect ya...I will be strong enough ta keep ya safe, ta keep all of ya safe."


	25. Raphie

Tensions were high as it was nearing an hour that Raphael had sealed himself inside the lab with Donatello. Pizza had been ordered, arrived and nearly cold by this time. Sadly, there was little anyone could do but wait for the other to finally open the door. The air was thick with gloom and distress. All wanting to speak to the injured turtle, all silently hoping Raph would not break the new to him.

Who would break such news? Would it be easier coming from one of his brothers? Perhaps Splinter was the best choice; he was after all his father and the head of the clan. Yet would Donnie accept it? Perhaps he needed to hear it from a mind just as grand as his own. The one who was able to find the truth to begin with, perhaps it should be Leatherhead?

Everyone racked their brain but all agreed such news was best not heard by April. Hell many of them thought it best she leave but none dare tell her, not wanting to be the one to tell Donnie why she wasn't there when he was returned home. It would make it seem like she didn't care, when in fact she did. She was here wasn't she? She had to care somewhat right?

April wasn't feeling very welcome in the lair, not anymore. She was clearly seen as someone who hurt Donnie because she chose to be with Casey. Hell, Donnie had told her to follow her heart and to do what she felt was right. A week or two after Casey asked her out. She had followed his advice and was very happy with Casey. He was rough around the edges but...Casey was a great boy friend. She had never been happier but...her happiness came at the price of Donatello's. How could she had been so blind before not to see through to him? That he had indeed still harbored feelings for her all this time. Even the bastard Slash could see it, so how the hell had she missed it? Perhaps she didn't want to see it.

After Casey had asked her out, she was congratulated by Donnie who took her hands in his own. His smile was just as sweet as always and she could tell he was sincere when he said he was happy for her. Donatello was the one who believed in her most.

When she began to train as a kunoichi, the others had laughed but it was Donnie who stayed back and worked with her and teach her the complex kata. In during so he had fallen behind in work to the point Leo had taken over her tutoring. Even though she knew Donnie enjoyed their time together for training, she could tell he put his family's needs above his own desires. It was one thing she admired about him.

Yet here she was, reading his privet thoughts, thoughts about how he wanted to die because he felt so much pain by her rejection. Was she that meaningful in his life that he could not go on without her? No, if that were the case he wouldn't be able to continue with working like he does. She could not be the ONLY reason he continued to live for. He had to be living for his family. He cared far too much about them, she knew this without a doubt because he had talked to her about them and what he really did, which was an amazingly massive list, and why he needed her to go to the library for him so often. In exchange he tutored her in whatever subject she needed.

Donatello is a very shy, awkward yet overly kind soul. Never wanting to hurt anyone and it made her wonder how this could be. Even if they make fun of his inventions, call him a nerd and joke about his crush on her, he would show annoyance but always happily go about creating, fixing and even working for their sake. She had read once that those who smile the most and try all they can to make others feel better, often are the ones that need help the most. She could see this in the diaries.

The shy, awkward, kind turtle felt deep pain and remorse for so much in the world and took every wrong deed and mistake to heart. She had recalled what he said about the mutagen. In saving his brothers he had let it fall to the streets, causing people, animals and plants to become mutants. That he had been the cause of the mutation to her father. Even she recalled how horrible she was to him. How she had blamed him and him alone for not saving her father. That she hated him.

Hate. There was so much rage and pain attached to the four letter word that it made her shudder. Donnie never said he hated anyone, in fact she could recall how hurt he had been when she used it on him. A word she was sure that shatter his very being. She had seen it in his eyes. Eyes that seemed to know only love and understanding. How they had broken before her own. She had not cared then to hear his voice, to accept his apology or even his vow to restore her father.

His promise that now put his life in danger, the promise of retromutagen.

I wish I could see your face.

She pulled his note to her from her pocket and looked it over for the millionth time. She should have known he still loved her. She should have known that it pained him to see her with Casey. She should have cared more for his feelings, then her own selfish desires.

"I'm a horrible person." She hugged her knees to her chest, trying to fight away the tears.

"Don't listen to that spiny prick. He is just pissed because Donnie cares more about you then him." He brushed the hair from her face and offered a smile. Please, take care of her. You have something so precious that I only dreamed I could ever have. Don't break her heart Casey. He loved her. He really honestly did and he was aware that Donnie could see this. That Donnie was able to tell that the two harbored feelings for each other. That he had known they were waiting for the other to make the first real move. Being the amazing friend he was, he helped them along. Playing both sides to finally reach out for what they desired.

Yet the cost was more than they were willing to pay.

Casey wasn't as foolish as many believed him to be. He could see how Don had started backing off. How he came to the dinner table less and less. How he buried himself in his work, obsessing over trying to fulfill his vow and promise to April. The turtle was working himself too hard and when he confronted the others on it they simply said it was how he was. When he wanted to fix something he was going to do it no matter the cost.

"He is right though." She leaned into his hand, seeking comfort. "I am selfish. I had been doing everything for myself, helping them, because they were helping me with getting my father back. I never did anything for them without expecting something back. I'm nothing like Donnie so how can he care about me enough to fucking love me?" She let her tears flow freely. "Im horrible..."

Casey held her face in her own. "Listen April, there is no way you can ever be like Donnie. I am not dating him, I am dating you. If you want to be more like him go head, but know I fell in love with a beautiful, strong and amazing girl! I care about you for you and not that you are more like Donnie or Raph...please don't ever be like Raph...but still you can only ever be the best you not like anyone else. I fucking hate when my parents compare me to my siblings." He wrinkled his nose. "It isn't healthy and I want to see you smile." He gave her a kiss. "Come on, I know you wanna."

She couldn't help but smile. "Jerk!" she gave him a playful push.

"You know you love me." He bounced his eyebrows up and down, further making her giggle. I can never give her the sun.

~LRDM~

"I aint thinking I can Donnie boy, aint like forgiv'en one of yous but ta forgive Slash..." Raph wasn't sure he could. After all that bastard did even after he was first transformed...how he attacked Donnie and Mikey...what he had done to him now...

The younger turtle smiled and rubbed his thumb against the darker hand. "Are you...sure you are...angry with him?" he asked. Donnie wanted peace. He knew both Spike and Raph missed the other but were just too stubborn and jaded to admit it. Spike wasn't going to give him up easily, he knew that. Yet if Spike was demanding to be in his life then he wanted him to befriend his brothers.

"Yeah I know I am! Why do ya ask?" sometime Don could be just as confusing as splinter or even that Iroh guy from the weird cartoon Mikey obsessed about, the one where the kid with the arrow on his face had to fight the dude with the scar. Mikey had told him the Iroh fellow reminded him of their father.

"Sometimes when we...claim to hate...we are trying...to shift that hate...from ourselves." Donnie smiled. "I do not...think you hate him...as much as you say..." he could feel Raph's hand tense, telling him all he needed to know. "Perhaps...you hate what happened...to him...that you feel you....are the reason...you blame yourself...and turn it toward Slash...you do...not see Slash as Spike...they are separate...but...I assure you...they are the same." Donnie looked up at him and frowned, deeply concerned. "I also fear...you maybe...blaming yourself...for what he did to me."

Raph had never thought of it like that. Perhaps he was doing just that. That he was blaming himself deep down for what had happened to his beloved friend and pet. The because of him that Donnie was raped and pregnant. He grit his teeth. How the fuck could Donnie see what he himself could not? That it was all his fault.

"I can see it..." he reached his weak hand to touch his brother's cheek. "Your eyes...they are your tell...I can read them like...an open book..." he could hardly hold back his emotions. Raph was not to blame. "I have...learned since...you started...confiding in me..." he was tired, in pain and wanting sleep but he needed to be sure Raph was going to be okay. That he had his fill of talking this through. His emotions were hard for him to understand and he needed him there to guide him. "You...are angry...you...feel you...cause his...mutation...and so..." he shook his head. Wanting to make things right again. "You only...did that...to protect him..."

The red banded turtle pulled the other closer, careful not to hurt him. "I hate how yous always have the right answer..." he grumbled, nuzzling his beak to his brother's. "I shoulda waited...never should have stole ya kiss..." he spoke lowly, eyes looking away from him. His thumb moved over his beak, gently stroking it. "Was it ya first?" he asked. Raph was changing the subject. He turned back to him, looking down at the lovely olive green lips. Why did he crave to taste them once more. "Honesty Donnie."

Donnie's eyes softened. He could see it was eating Raphie. That he was once again blaming himself. Even as he felt that strong finger move with a gentleness only Raphie knew. A kind of tenderness he only seemed to show him. He couldn't look at him as he spoke, ashamed of himself. "Yes." He had always hoped his first kiss would have been with April. How he always imagined her lips against his own.

"I'm fuck'en stupid, impulsive..." he threw his sai into the wall, causing it to stick. "I'm just as fucked up as Slash...tak'en what wasn't mine..." his hand pulled away from Donnie but was stopped when the other held it with his own. This surprised him, why would Donnie do this? Why would he want to have him here if he stole his first kiss? Something so precious and special...

"Raphie..." his voice cracked, his hand tightening around his brother's. "Please...Don't talk like...that..." he nuzzled his hand, trying to hide his tears. "Raphie...you kissed me...because you...love me right?" he looked up at him. "What you did...you did because...you are passionate...loving...caring..." It hurt him more to see his brother suffer like this. If he could take the weight off his shoulder...to bare the blame...perhaps he could ease his suffering.

He chuckled softly, nuzzling his darker beak to his light skinned brother. "Ya really can read me like a open book Donnie boy..." he stroked his lower lip again, shaking as he tried to resist wanting to take those lips again, so entranced by his every movement. Hell Donnie was glowing right now. So beautiful even now, no doubt from the babe he was carrying. Raph didn't care if it was Slash's kid. He would protect the kid, after all it would be Donnie's little one, a part of him and their family.

The younger turtle could feel the desire in his brother's heart. He could see it in his eyes just what Raphie wanted to do more then anything. He wanted to kiss him again, yet this time he won't unless Donnie himself allowed it. Raphie was holding back for his sake. The nuzzling of their beaks was proof enough of this. The purple banded terrapin closed his eyes. He didn't desire it, yet perhaps Raphie needed it more. "Raphie...if you...desire...I...wont be...upset."

Emerald eyes widened. Donnie gave him permission...he was giving him permission... to kiss him? "D...Donnie are ya sure?" he wanted to know if he was serious.

The soft skinned turtle nodded his head slightly. "You took...my first one...you desire...another chance..." Raphie needed this. Even if Donnie didn't want it, he knew he needed it.

"Donnie..." he cupped his cheek, stroking his cheek with his thumb. "I love ya so fuck'en much..." he leaned in, taking his lips into his own. He pulled him closer, tightening his hold on him because he would never let go again. He wanted this moment to last forever, a life time if he could help it. Tears flowed freely from his eyes. It was as if a dream came true. All he ever wanted was to be with Donnie.

Said turtle was not doing as well. He half expected him to just peck him on the lips, something small. Yet Raphie seemed to enjoy taking far more. Donnie couldn't stop him, he had okayed him to kiss him, it was he whom failed to say how. So he accepted the kiss, far to weak anyway to fight back, yet he could feel the tenderness in Raphie. The anger and rage, the self hatred all seemed to die down because of him, because of the kiss.

He could feel Raphie exploring every bit of his mouth, claiming all he could and more. Those rough hands, calloused after years of training in ninjutsu, explored his body. From his shoulder, slowly down to his plastron and lower to his belly. That was when all actions froze, even the kiss. Raphie pulled away, staring at his belly where the hand was. "Raphie?" he called out, worried that maybe he had done something to upset him.

Raph turned with a gentle smile on his face. "Relax Donnie boy, and thanks a million. I feel so much better." He nuzzeled their beaks again before standing up. "Fearless is gonna wanna talk to ya, do ya want me ta throw 'im out?"

Donnie shook his head. "If he wants to talk let him. You cant be selfish." He cooed. He watched as his brother turned away, only then did the smile fade from his lips. What happened that he changed? What was it he was hiding from him? Donnie knew...Oh he knew he would find out sooner or later.


	26. The Leader in Blue

Leo was the first to the door when it opened. Raph stood before him with a much calmer aura about him. Internally Leo was panicking, wondering just what Raph had done in there, what had he done to Donnie. Yet, Leo also knew he needed to constrain himself. He had to make changes because the turtle he was before only seemed to frighten Donnie. So he wanted to be a better turtle. The perfect turtle. "How is he?"

Raph was fully expecting a fight. For Leo to jump down his throat and tear him a new asshole for being reckless, stupid and letting his emotions get the better of him. He had worked out what he was gonna say well before he opened the door. Leo surprised him. "He's tired. Needs something ta help with da pain but wont ask fer it. We only got so much of it 'n he wants ta save it fer one of us." Donnie was always silent when it came to his own pain. He said he was able to manage it, having been shocked countless times, thrown across a room by his face among other things.

The leader in blue nodded. Placed his hand on Raph's shoulder and gave a warm smile. "Okay, thank you. See if Mikey can get some water for Donnie and see if Leatherhead can provide him with anything to help him with the pain." Raph was hesitant but left to do as he was bid. When the hot head left, he could see Donnie had been watching. Good. He walked in the room, leaving the door open, for now. He sat on the stool next to the bed and checked him his bandages to ensure they didn't bleed through. "How are you feeling Donnie?"

The other turtle had bit his lip as his eldest brother checked the bandages. Trying not to let the pain show too much. There was a limited supply of pain killers and morphine. It was hard to get for sure but he didn't want to waste it on himself. The others were less tolerant to excessive pain. "Like I fell..from a rooftop." He tried to laugh but it came out raspy and lead to a coughing fit.

Leo was on him in a heartbeat, helping him sit up so he could let it out easier. "Let it out little brother." He gently rubbed his shell, much like he had when they were younger, when Donnie was sicker. After a while the younger turtle calmed the coughing. By then Mikey had given him the water. He could see that he wanted to speak with Donnie. "Go on Mikey."

The blue banded turtle opened the flood gate to a million and one questions. Donnie smiled, answered each as best he could. All were pretty basic. How are you? Where had you been? Are you in pain? Did you kick some Kraang ass? How did you guys escape Shredder's men? What do you want to eat?

After about ten minutes of the Q&A session Leo came back after speaking with Leatherhead. There was little they could do for the pain given he was pregnant. They did not wish to risk the eggs as they were unsure of what would happen. To their knowledge there had not been a pregnant mutant and frankly they didn't know how it even worked given that Slash was a different species. There were too many risks right now and they needed to focus on what was best for Donnie AND the babies.

Leo thanked Leatherhead, bowed to him before going to Mikey to shoo him off. They youngest of them frowned, complained that Raph had far longer with their brother then him. "It isn't fair Leo! I wanna spend time with D too and you cant push me away!" he sat on the floor of the lab. Refusing to move.

Before the eldest had a chance, Donnie spoke up. "Leo is making...me go to sleep now. I took some...pills to help me." He gave a small smile at the fib. "Why do you...think he needed...water?" He pretended to take some pills and put them in his mouth. Leo got the hint and placed the straw in his mouth. After he drank, he gave Mikey a smile. "It's late...I will talk to you...all you want tomorrow."

"Swearsies?" Everyone knew if you swore on Swearsies with Mikey you better hold your end of the barging. Last time Raph fell through, his sais went missing for 4 days. All the places he knew to look had notes calling him a fool or idiot.

Donnie held out his pinky. When Mikey took it, he swore to him. Satified, they youngest of them bounced out of the room. "Hey LH, lets go get the cots for Casey and April. Slash can sleep on the pull out couch..." The noise was too loud.

Leo stood to close the door, meeting with Slash at the entrance. "He needs to rest..."

"And you plan to watch over him?" He snorted. Looking at the useless leader before turning to his mate. "I can do that." He took a step in only for Leo to block him. "Back off..."

"I don't want to fight you. I just want to do what is best for Donnie." He stood his ground but tried to seem standoffish. "You can see him tomorrow. It is late and I think we are all tired. Given everything that has happened I think the best thing to do is rest. I am going to take first watch given I can see how exhausted you are." There was no deny it, not even Slash could. "I want to ensure he will not need immediate help. As he told Mikey he will be sleeping."

"Leo...let him...come for a moment." Donnie sat up on his arm. As much as Leo didn't want to, he let Slash in on his brother's behest. He kept a close eye on him, he even felt Raph watching him.

Slash knelt before Donnie, nuzzling against his neck. "I smell Raphael on you..." he growled lowly. He didn't like it. That prick's scent was masking his mate's.

"We hugged." Donnie sighed. "They are my...brothers. They had...not seen me...in months..." Donnie was tense. Yet he had to keep things civil. "Rest...we can talk more...tomorrow." He was nuzzled again, a show of passiveness and care to the others.

"Fine, but if they hurt you..." he glared at them. Donnie turned him back using his free hand. "You said...you wouldn't come...here. You did..." He gave him a kind smile. "Thank you."

Slash's eyes widened. Donatello had never looked at him like that let alone thanked him. Was this all it took? Was for him to be close to his family? Gods did that look make him happy beyond words. Perhaps there was a way to win his mate over. Far more than just words and actions alone could ever do. Perhaps he should listen to him more. He himself smiled as he nuzzled his mate again. "I will be outside the door if you need me." His tail wagged as he rose to his feet. Kissing the palm of his mate's had that had turned his head earlier. He walked past Leo, smiling at him as he did. "Take care of him." He would sleep alone tonight, but he knew it was best that his mate be safe.

Leo and Raph locked eyes for a moment before they shrugged. Leo closed the door to keep the noise out, just catching a glimpse of Casey and April making their beds on the other side of the lair, Casey slipping between Slash and April to keep an eye on him no doubt.

~LRDM~

Casey watched as Leo closed the door and Slash walked toward Raph, they exchanged a few words before Raph went to his room and Slash laid on the bed facing the lab. He set his bed up between the beast and April wanting to ensure that he wouldn't hurt her in the night. After all he could see the hostility he had for her, most likey given that even he could see Donnie still had feelings for her.

He had always been a light sleeper. Casey had to be because those nights when his father came home drunk he had to ensure that he keep him from hurting his siblings. Both his little brother and sister were too young to fully understand, but he knew and he could sleep easily because his dad was currently in jail and his siblings were at his aunts. That gave him the freedom to stray over to help with Donnie if needed.

"I want to see him...I want to apologize to him..." April looked to the closed door and frowned. There was just so much that she wanted to say to him. She knew it may not be the best time for her to see him and she wasn't sure what would happen if she did see him again. She wanted more than anything to thank him. His hard work had paid off and he created retromutagen, yet in doing so he also put a huge target on his shell. How was she going to help with that?

"Chill Red, I know you will be able to talk to him soon enough. Just give him time to rest and be with his brothers. You know how much family means to them, Donnie most of all." He gave her a smile and handed her the fluffier of the two pillows. "Now I think the best thing we can do is get some rest. No doubt Donnie will be really feeling those injuries tomorrow." He gave her a reassuring smile.

~LRDM~

Leo checked on the IV drip, something Donnie had taught him when Raph had been hurt badly by the Shredder. Nothing too serious thankfully but he needed to be on an IV for a bit. To save Donnie's precious tie he showed him how to watch it and ensure it worked with the second hand equipment. After he was satisfied he pulled the blanket up on his brother and even added a pillow for his broken leg to rest on. Donnie's care came as top priority.

He had seen what happened when Donnie wasn't here. How the team began to fall apart. How their father worried constantly about his well being with the increase in fights between the brothers. Without Donnie there was no way to resolve the conflict. Without Donnie, things that broke didn't get fixed. Without Donnie...they were lost. Leo was going to ensure that Donnie was never lost again. He was the heart of the team, that was made clear by his disappearance. Hell less than an hour with Donnie and Raph went from raging bull to a kitten. They all confided in Donnie because he was the least judgmental, he was the most understanding and well...he knew each of them better then they knew themselves.

"You can...ask me." Donnie said softly. Noting how Leo just seemed to stare at the IV drip, lost in his own thoughts. Something was on his mind. That was obvious as the beak on his face.

The elder brother hated that about his second in command. How easily he could read him. He had been thinking about their last meeting. When he had kissed him and the fact that he had been foolish enough to have forced himself on his brother like that. It wasn't right of him. It was fair to expect Donnie to choose him. Even if he felt he was the obvious choice for him. In the end it was Donnie's choice.

He sat in the chair beside the bed and looked to his little brother. Leo wasn't always good with his words. Not like Donnie was or Mikey. Hell Mikey was so quick to make friends it was baffling how easy he made it look. Donnie was able to piece together what he was trying to say most of the times, even going about it to make the plans of attack look like they came from him. Making Leo seem more like the hero and competent leader. When he questioned Donnie on why he didn't take the credit for his plans his response blew him away. 'They don't look to me as a leader. They look to you. While you bear the weight of the team on your shoulders, I can think clear. You are still new to this, I'm sure you wont need my help after awhile. Believe in yourself Leo, like we believe in you.'

"Do you hate me for what happened?" He looked him in the eyes. Strong and confident, like a good leader. A perfect leader. "If I had not been so foolish to kiss you...I would have been able to help fight them off..." He looked in his brother's eyes. "I could have helped you." He felt tremendous gilt for how he had acted. Having been so selfish he had gotten himself incapacitated and Donnie ultimately had been captured.

The younger turtle reached his hand out to his elder brother. "I forgive you." Just like that he felt a huge weight lifted off his shoulders. He felt as if he were finally able to breathe again. He couldn't help the smile as he took his brother's hand in his own. Leo had been dreading it for months, just what he would say and how Donnie would react to what he did that night. That he had been the fool to be drugged in the first place.

"Donnie..." he rubbed his leaf green thumb against his brother's. "I don't see how you can forgive me so easily. It has been...a month or two for you?" he asked. How much time had he lost while in the other dimension? Even so, it was far fresher in his brother's mind then his own.

"The affects...of mating season...are stronger with you...and with...Spike." He said softly. "At the time...I was more afraid...of losing you...then of the kiss..." he gave a sweet smile before he closed his eyes. He wanted to rest. He needed to rest but he knew just like Raph, Leo needed him right now. "While the...timing was poor...I know you...I know you wanted...our first time...to be perfect...perhaps you...figured it romantic." How many times had Leo watched the Space Hero show, the one with the foolish captain that had kissed his love interest in the heat of battle? He often emulated what he seen on the show to his real life.

"We are young...driven by our instincts...and are the only ones...of our kind." He opened his eyes. "Mistakes are...bound to happen...feelings...will be hurt...but remember...we are brother...before all else." He looked up at his leader, seeing his brother before anything else. His eldest brother and he could see that he needed the reassurance. That Leo just wanted to keep the family safe and his strides to be perfect came at a cost of losing himself in his own perfection. "We shouldn't lie to...ourselves...and to...each other...we are the...only ones...of ourkind..."

Leo bit his lip as he turned away. Donnie didn't know. He didn't know and it was making this harder then what it had to be. Yet, was it his place to tell him? How would Donnie handle that kind of information? What was he to do now? Continue on and pretend it wasn't so? Wait for Master Splinter to find a way to tell him? Perhaps he could ease the burden upon their father? Perhaps as Eldest son and Leader it was his place to tell him the truth, but was it right as his brother and potential lover? Would Donnie even believe him?

He turned back, looking at those large reddish-brown eyes that stared at him with worry. Leo always loved those eyes. Always questioning and wondering. Large and observant. Eyes that shined endlessly whenever they were gazing at friends and family. Never shining quite as brightly as they did for April. The girl was the luckiest of them all to have Donnie's heart the way she did.

"Leo?" he questioned, looking at his eldest brother with deep worry. He had turned from him, distressed by something. They were keeping something from him. He was sure now and he needed to know just what it was. They could talk to him about anything before, what news had made it so different now? He struggled to sit up, to put himself on equal ground with Leo, so he wouldn't look down on him. His brother didn't argue his choice, only offered a hand to help him sit up. He looked his brother in the eyes, seeing the indecisiveness behind them made him uneasy. Leo was always quick to make decisions that were best for the team, even admitting when he didn't know what to do and turned to him for advice. Something was eating away at him.

Leo helped him sit up, knowing arguing would do neither of them good. He watched as his brother removed his mask, a sign they had come up with when they needed to talk and be totally honest. Leo's breath caught in his throat as the mask was lowered to his neck. Donnie looked at him, purple markings on his eyes looking like fancy eye shadow. They all had their colors, each matching the mask they wore but Donnie's was the longest of them, remnants of their species. While Raph maintained the red of their true color the others adopted their own. The color could not be removed; it was a part of their skin. It made Leo find him so beautiful, he could see a unique glow about him now, one he never noticed before.

The leader kept eye contact as he removed his own mask, dropping it to his neck and cursing the moment it blocked his view of his brother. It was rare Donnie remove his mask. When he did he was always serious. Always leaving no room for arguments. Leo was prepared for this.

Donnie observed his brother, how is face had changed to a more serious look when he dropped his mask, in turn doing the same. The blue streak on his eyes was small, almost invisible to the eye. Yet it was a beautiful aqua blue color. "Masks down...leader and his second...brothers..." Donnie used Leo for support. Looking him in the eyes as he asked. "What are...you hiding?"

Now was his decision. Should he tell Donatello or should he refuse? If he refused he knew Don would not trust him anymore, that this seriousness and removal of masks would mean nothing anymore. Leo searched his brothers eyes for any way out of it, but he could see the determination to get the truth out of him. He could hear their father's voice, recalling the teachings he had given him as the eldest son. 'You need to speak the truth, no matter how much it may hurt you or the ones you love.' He took a deep breath. "Donatello..." full name, show of seriousness. "We have much to speak of. I ask you wait until I have finished saying what needs to be said. Promise you will understand my judgment and not act rashly." He spoke nearly the exact words his father had said to them earlier in the Dojo. He needed to emulate their father. To show his strength. That he can be a good and perfect leader, as well as head of the clan.

They younger turtle tilt his head slightly. Partly concerned with the huge shift in tone. He could see their father in him. How he emulated his mannerisms and movements. Everyone knew how much Leo idolized their father. How much he desired to be just like him. It made him proud to see it. "I shall remain...silent." He was good at that. Listening and observing.

"Then let's start at the beginning..."


	27. Knowing

Raph left the room and turned to Slash. He watched him for a moment after he left, curious as he walked to the garage. He didn't want him near Donnie, he was willing to throw him out if Donnie wanted him to stay away but he didn't. Donnie let him come in, he let him touch him after everything HE did to him. He treated Slash like he was one of them, even going so far as to thank him for bringing him home. It was baffling. It was insane!

Yet what was even more incredible was how tenderly Slash had treated Don. How he growled a little but was easily calmed by a few words from his shy brother. 'He misses you.' Donnie's words ran in his ear. Even as Slash locked eyes with him. Almost as if they were thinking the same thing. How much they missed each other. Raph walked to him, the other kept a distance between them. "Listen, I know shit is crazy n' all but...I think we need ta talk." He wasn't so hot headed that he couldn't pick up on Donnie's hints to make peace.

Slash eyed him for a long moment. Thinking of his mate and how he reeked of him. He wasn't sure it was just a hug, but he wanted to trust his mate. "Fine." He knew if he wanted to keep Donatello at his side and within his mate's good graces, he would need to seek peace with his old friend. "After we wake up, meet in tunnel four."

Raph nodded. "Tunnel four." He turned and left, going to his room. Of course he would choose tunnel four. He hated when Donnie was right. He walked past Donnie's room before stopping just on the other side of it. No one had touched it since he left, no one had even been in it. He scuffed and kept walking to his own room, closing the door behind him.

His room was quite messy, things tossed about. His bed was a hammock which he preferred to the mattresses the others had. Donnie had often told him he should keep his room clean in order to prevent buildup of dust and germs. Raph was never one to believe that. It was no where near as bad as Mikey's room and he never got sick.

Lying in the hammock, he stared at the ceiling, his fingers gently caressing his lips. The kiss was far better than their first. While their first had been one sided and forced per say, he could feel Donnie coming around to him. He had actually let him kiss him and this made Raph as giddy as a school girl. He couldn't wait to see him again and he wanted to much to move forward with their relationship, but he knew he couldn't. Not quite yet anyway. Not until they told him about what was going on. He wasn't even sure who would tell Donnie, no one said that much...because he exploded on Slash.

He tsked in annoyance. He wanted to talk to Slash yes, he wanted to make peace with him for Donnie's sake. Yet if he was totally honest, he really wanted his best friend back. He missed him so fucking much that it actually hurt to see the empty cage he used to sleep in. Now he would be tied to the family forever, given that it seemed like Donnie didn't want him to leave. Would that change though? Once Donnie found out he was pregnant?

There was a knock on his door and a small voice that called to him. "Mikey?" when was the last time he actually had the balls to come to his room? He was sure it had something to do with Donnie. The youngest was confident as he strode in the room, looking more like a turtle on a mission than anything else, he even had books in his hand. "What are you..."

A sea foam green finger was placed to his beak. "No talkie, just listen okay?" he waited for the nod before he continued. "We all know what's up now, aint no hiding it right?" again a nod. "So now we have a bigger problem. We now have to compete with Slash over Donnie right?" another nod. "Because Slash is his mate...right?" again a nod. "What if I told you the whole mate thing was bullshit bro?"

Raph moved his brother's hand from his beak. "What are ya talk'en about? Donnie said that once we mated we would be bound ta that person until someone else challenged 'em and won."

"Noooooope." Mikey's lips popped on the p and he smiled brightly, pulling out the dictionary he borrowed from Donnie's room after the lab door was sealed. "According to this here, monogamous means having only one mate at a time." He set the book on the floor and held out the other. "Don said we were red ear sliders right?"

"Yeah what about it?" Raph crossed his arms. He was impressed by the amount of research Mikey had done. He was more surprised he read something other than a comic book.

"Yo bro, red ear sliders are not monogamous! They will mate with as many males as they can to ensure more babies!" He smiled innocently.

"Ya point?" Raph was starting to get it, but he wasn't sure he was willing to share Donnie.

Mikey set the book down. "We both know Donnie wont pick one of us over the other cuz like the best brother ever he doesn't want to hurt our feelings! He even said it when you and Leo got into it. He also said that we are biologically turtles, hence why we have mating seasons! What if Donnie didn't have to pick? We could enter a poly relationship with Donnie. We all get to be with him and he doesn't have to pick one over the other! Everyone wins!"

Raph put his head in his hands, think on what Mikey said. It was clear he put a lot of thought into this. Had done research and even backed it up with evidence and quotes from Donnie himself. It was solid. It even allowed there to be less stress on Donnie about choosing one of them. It would make them closer and each of them could share in the raising of the young. He could see no flaw in this. Each would get the love and affection they desired from Donnie. Each could give the love and affection they wanted to Donnie.

"SO?!" Mikey's face was so close to his own that he had to push him away. Mikey sat on the floor looking up at his brother with hopeful eyes.

He smirked. "Ya really out did yer self Mikey. I'm really proud of ya. Now all we gotta do is convince Slash and Fearless and we can go ta Donnie." He offered his hand to his brother. "Good work Mikey!"

That alone meant the world to the young turtle! To have Raph tell him that! To see that he was happy about his idea and even excited for it! He was tickled pink! "No prob. You talk to Slash and I'll talk to Leo! If this works out, our family will be set!" he hummed happily.

"Ya forgetting someone." Raph just thought of him as well. "What about pa?"

"Wrong again hot head. Why do you think I want to talk to Leo? If we get him on our side he could make a far better case to Splinter then we can. Donnie said we aren't at all related by blood, that the concept of family comes from Splinter who used to be human." All of this had soaked in years ago back when Donnie stated testing their blood.

Raph was speechless. Perhaps Mikey wasn't as much of a bonehead as he made himself out to be. "Fine. Ya get Leo on board and I'll get Slash." Perhaps...this was the best way. If Donnie had all of them, there was no need for him to be upset about April.

~LRDM~

"Splinter told us about you being in the mutagen longer than us. We know he told you along time ago, when you had gotten really sick. I am not sure just how much he had said to you but..." he thumbed his brother's olive skin. "Your color used to be a Jade." He could see it. How beautiful his brother would had been if he had kept his true coloring.

"I was...unaware." Donatello looked at his hand. How pale and sickly he always seemed. To know he could had been so vibrantly colored like his brothers. It made him feel even more out of place.

Leonardo placed his hand on Donatello's. He gave him a small reassuring smile. Donatello had always been self conscious of his skin colorings. No matter how many times they had said that they loved the color of his skin and eyes he would never believe them. Such only increased since they had meet April. "You are beautiful."

Donatello didn't say anything. Once again he didn't believe him. "Continue."

The Leader sighed and carried on. "Donatello..." he curled his finger under his brother's chin, allowing him to look him in the eyes. "You need to understand everything was confirmed by Leatherhead. We trust his judgment." The second nodded his head in agreement. "That day father bought us from the pet shop...the salesman was wrong. There were not four male turtles...there were only three."

Donatello's brows furrowed in confusion for a moment. Trying to connect it all together before his eyes went wide. "One was female?"

"Yes."

He lost his strength then, leaning his head on his brother's shoulder as he muttered to himself. Trying to find fault with the reality but the more he thought about it the more it all made sense to him. His brother's attraction to him and him alone. The reason he was taller than them. Why his mating season was different. Why Spike had singled him out. Why Newtralizer tried to... His hand squeezed his brothers. Trying to make rational sense of it all. He was male...he had to be. He had all the necessary parts...yet he had never checked for female characteristics. Most of those would be internal for a turtle and he never...explored himself like that. He had no one really to do so for him and it never crossed his mind that there was a possibility that he or his brothers could be females. Yet the facts were there. There was enough evidence to support this theory, enough to make him want to look into it further. He had to be certain, he had to double check the tests Leatherhead had done, even if he trusted his judgment, he want to be absolutely sure that this was not a fluke or false reading.

'He mutters to himself when he's upset.' Karai's words haunted him. She had been right, she had been watching him and that made Leonardo uneasy. Though he could not focus on her now, he had to be here for Donatello. He said nothing, letting his brother work things out in his head. Over thinking this as usual, though he could hardly blame him. His whole identity had been called to question. Who he thought himself to be and where he was going with his life. All because he was told that he was a female.

It took ages before his brother stopped muttering. The air was still, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. His brother was trembling now. He had never seen him like this before and it had him worried. Leonardo kept his face firm and stoic, knowing he needed to be the rock that grounded Donatello. He said nothing, even as he felt the tears fall on his neck. He kept his eyes forward, waiting for his brother to speak first.

"I..I need the wheelchair Leonardo..." His voice cracked. Leading him to believe his muttering lead him to the next secret. "Please..."

The elder set him up so he wouldn't fall, quickly going to gather the chair gently lifing him into it, careful not to cause him any more pain if he could help it. What frightened Leonardo most was how light he felt even though he was pregnant, he could feel the bones in his hip. The chair had been salvaged when Raph had hurt his leg a few years back ridding his skateboard in the sewers. Still he said nothing and he knew his brother was grateful for it. He was so lost in his own mind that he was sure nothing would bring him out.

12:45 am "My desk...please." He wheeled him over there. Immediately he went through the papers that were new. Reading and rereading the same lines over and over again.

1:23am He watched helplessly as he typed on the computer, seeing the word flash over and over each time.

1:54am Positive.

2:34am There was little emotion on that face as he began to draw his own blood sample and place it in the machine.

3:18am Positive.

3:59am His trembling before had stopped. Determination now plastered upon his face as he was wanting to prove it wrong. He ran the test and reran it again and again. Each time watching the used needles pile in the biohazard bin.

4:25am Positive.

5:24am Positive.

5:58am Positive.

6:15am He was muttering again. Looking through his notes and the web for any way he could possibly disprove it. After a time he shut the computer off and began to take it apart. He concluded the computer was broken, it had to be. There was no way that it could be correct. There was no way that he was positive. Not for that. He felt such pity for him. If the roles had been reversed he wasn't even sure what he himself would do if confronted with the fact.

6:45am Leonardo watched as Donatello examined the hardware, watched as he tried to find fault and why it read a false positive. It had been a few hours of research in, now he knew there was no more time he could give him. Donatello will keep this up no matter how long it took. He would exhaust every avenue until there was nothing left but that same answer.

Donatello had to fix what was broken. It was what he was best at, what he could contribute to the team and to the family. He had to fix what was broken no matter what. He jumped when he felt his brother's hand on his own. He didn't look up at him, only continued to work. His computer was not functioning properly, he had to fix it. He had to make it right. "Donatello..." he froze, looking up at Leonardo with a smile on his face.

7:00am "Don't worry Leonardo, I can fix it..." There was so much determination to prove the readings false. The sorrowful look in his elder brother's eyes was all he needed to know the undying truth. He was indeed pregnant.

7:06am He watched as his brother's smile slowly turned to horror before his eyes. He watched as those auburn eyes turned from him and into his hands. He held him then, as tightly as he could without hurting him. "I know you can." He said softly. "But we both know you won't." There was only one fix for such a thing...but Donatello would never consider taking a life. His brother held onto him. He didn't cry like he expected him to. No, Donatello just held onto him. His face emotionless, lost to his own mind and thoughts, lost to the world that had dealt him a truly poor hand in life. Leonardo just held him, his own head resting upon his brother's. He could feel his heartbeat, despite the calm look, Donatello was terrified. No one knew what to say first. No one knew how to make this better. "Donatello...you are not alone." His voice was firm yet reassuring, wanting to sound like a real leader and the head of his family. One day he would be.

Donatello tightened his hold on his brother, burying his head into the nape of his neck for comfort and reassurance that Leonardo was being whole heartedly honest with him. Tears formed in his eyes once more, falling silently down his pale cheeks. "Thank you." Was all he could manage to say without his emotions over whelming him. It took a lot of courage for Leonardo to tell him. He knew his brothers and father were going to be angry with the elder brother for telling him, but Donatello will be at his defense. He had pressured his brother for answers and he had gotten them.

Leonardo wondered how many times one soul could be shattered before you couldn't pick up the pieces. To him that voice sound to broken and lost. As if for the first time in his life he didn't have the answers to what to do. Leonardo knew he had to be there for Donatello as long as he needed him to be.

~LRDM~

Shredder Stood near the glass wall with his hands behind his back. He watched his daughter slither through the trees he added to the habitat for her. Trying to make it a small replica of the garden back in Japan. He used to chase her through it when she was a child. Listening to her laughter that reminded him so much of her mother.

She hissed at him on sight and charged at the glass hoping to break through and take her revenge. She was throated by the thick Plexiglas that separated them. There was no doubt in her mind that he was to blame for her broken family. If it had not been for him she would have known her mother and father, would have lived happily. Tears filled her eyes as she hissed again.

He looked at her with pity and rage. What had Yoshi done to her? She had been so loyal before, what had he said to turn her against him like this? More so, why had he allowed her to change into his...monster?! No matter. He was formulating a plan of attack to get her back. He just needed the turtle. "Rest now my daughter, soon you will be returned to me as you once were. We will recover Donatello and force him to heal you."

She hissed again. "Easssssier ssssssaid then done!" she snapped at him. "Donnie may be the quite one, but he issssss far sssssssmarter then you can imagine!" She exposed her fangs to him.

"I have ways of making him obey." He extended the blades in his gauntlet. "We will see how smart he is." He looked the blades over before retracting them. "The Kraang had said he had a soft spot for his family...I am sure I can use this to my advantage. If he is anything like Leonard he will indeed crumble before me to save his pitiful brothers." He chuckled softly. "Once I have the retro mutagen, he will be of no use to me."

Karai slithered back and forth for a moment, panicking that her family was going to be hurt, that Donnie was gonna be killed. "If you think he issssss ssssssso ussssselessss, why do they keep defeating you and your army?" she saw his demeanor change. Perhaps she could persuade him to keep her brother alive if he was worth it to him. "Who do you think alwayssssss keepsssss them one ssssstep ahead?" the snake mutant laughed. "I have ssssseen it first hand, he issssss sssssssmarter then your men, ssssssmarter then you!"

Shredder slammed his hand into the glass. "You think he is so valuable to that that you dare to insult me?!" She laughed in his face. "Even so, I cannot deny what he can do with a bunch of junk..." he pulled back, stroking his chin. He imagined what a mind like that could do with real resources. Then again to get the turtle to obey is a different headache than anything else. Yet, it would be worth it to break him and build him back up. For his purposes, he is better left alive.

~LRDM~

Mikey was humming as he started was in the kitchen making Donnie's favorite breakfast. Chocolate Chip pancakes, bacon and of course coffee, just the way he liked it. He made a boat load for everyone that was there, but the last Batch would be for Donnie, so he could give it to him warm. He was excited to spend all day with him and after he was going to talk to Leo about the plan. Could hardly stop bouncing about the kitchen.

Leatherhead was the first to join him, having been drawn to the kitchen by the delicious smells. "Good Moring, my friend." He offered his toothy smile as he watched the small turtle push a plate of food in front of him. He was happy to see him in such a positive mood, given everything that had happened last night.

"Good morning LH! Enjoy your meal courtesy of Donnie being home! Gonna go and see my bro today, told me he would spend all day with me if I wanted to and ya know I really want to!" He danced about the kitchen, filling more plates for everyone beside the one on the tray. "I cant wait for him to wake up and see his favorite breakfast! Donnie wont turn it away because I know he cant say no to me!" he mixed away at the pancake batter, adding far more chocolate chips then was needed. "Just between us, Donnie has a big sweet tooth!" he smiled and mixed it up before throwing it on the buttered pan.

Leatherhead was about to take a bite of the pancake before Mikey stopped him. "Here try this!" he poured on maple syrup and nodded to him. He placed his hands together and said the small prayer of 'Itadakimasu.' The mutant gator took a bite and hummed. "Delicious. I can see why he enjoys it so much." His tail was wagging as he ate more. "You are quite the cook!"

Mikey blushed brightly. "I always say the fastest way to a turtle's heart is through his tummy." He turned away but Leatherhead could tell he was hoping the meal would win favor with his brother. He could see the thought and care that was going into it. He even had a vase with roses on the tray. "Look!" he lift the tray by the vase. "I even super glued it down so it wont fall off. The plate too!"

"Very clever." He sipped the juice that Mikey had offered. "Though...Given what had happened...just do not get your hopes too high..." he didn't want to see him hurt if Donatello rejected his offering.

"Don't worry, I know Donnie might not want to eat. It's still the effort that counts right?" He looked to his friend and offered a sad smile. "Donnie is bottling everything up again...I can tell. He doesn't want us to worry about him. He was always the quite one when it came to how he felt..." he flipped the pancake. "I remember when Donnie fixed the first tv. We were all so excited to see what the world had to offer..." he set it on the plate and added more batter. "I remember watching a tv show, I cant remember what it was called but I remember thinking the lady was just amazing. I thought her name was Mom but soon I realized it was what she was." He flipped that pancake and looked to Leather head. "I wanted a Mom really badly after that. I would draw pictures and ask Master Splinter a lot if we could get one."

Mikey chuckled and turned back to the Pancake. "I wanted a Mom because they were kind, understanding, they put you to bed and helped you with homework, sang to you, cooked and made everything feel better. Moms just knew how to fix everything. This went on for years before I realized something." He set the pancake on the plate and walked to Leatherhead. "I didn't need a Mom because I had someone who did all that. We had Donnie and even if he cant cook or sing, he does everything else a Mom does and more. Now that I think about it...maybe we all knew deep down what he was, ya know being a girl and all, but it never made a difference before."

"AWWW Mikey!" Casey ran over and rubbed his round head. "Didn't know you always wanted a mommy!" he tried to kiss him in mockery only for Mikey to laugh and push him back. "How sweet, you even made us breakfast!" he sat down only for the plate to be taken.

"Sorry, only good boys get breakfast." He laughed and wiggled the spoon at him. "So? Are you going to apologize for making fun of me wanting a Mom when I was like...six?" he crossed his arms and puffed out his face.

The gator watched silently as he ate, amused by their playful banter. What an odd family it was, but a functional one. It was a vast improvement from the past few months. When Donatello was not there it made everyone sit on edge. There was little laughter and the place seemed so empty and lifeless.

"Fine. I'm sorry ya wanted a mommy when you were little." He shook his head. "Can I have breakfast now?" he gave him puppy eyes and was gifted the plate of food. He clapped his hands together. "Itidakimadasu."

He was given a slap on the back of his head by April. "It's Itadakimasu. If you are going to be polite to another culture do it right." She shook her head and smiled. He was trying at least. The plate was set before her. "Thanks Mikey."

"See at least April and LH have manners." He turned to see Raph and Slash walking over for food as well. Though he was still unsure of Slash he still offered the plate of food for him, even offering the guest food before Raph even if he was annoyed by it.

Slash grunted before he thought of Donatello, knowing that Donatello would not approve of him being mean to his younger brother. The thought of that moment in the sewer came to mind. How Donatello had been willing to give himself to him to ensure that his brother was unharmed. He sighed softly, bowing his head to him before thanking him.

All present were taken back by this. None expected him to even give a shit about thanking him but here he was even bowing respectfully to him. What bewitching power did Donnie have on him? Raph himself could see that he was trying. That he was doing this to remain in their good graces so he could remain close to Donnie and his young.

"Ya did good Mikey, thanks." He took the plate and sat at the table where Slash had gone to be alone. He gave him a small smile but there was little to be said. He had a task to try and convince Slash to accept the alternative. A large part of Raph was sure that he would agree simply to be accepted and remain close to Donnie, though another part was unsure if Slash would even agree.

Splinter walked out and greeted them all. It was clear he had not been sleeping. He was stressing over how he was going to break the news to his son about what he was and the life that was now growing within him. Even no he still had not gained the strength to answer that dilemma. He was pleased how ever to see his sons smiling. Even more so when he had a cup of hot green tea waiting for him. "Thank you Michelangelo." He bowed his head slightly. It soothed his heart to see his youngest smiling again.

His eyes locked on those of Slash. Glaring at him with a deep warning that need not be spoken. One step out of line and he would end his very existence, even if he was the father of his grandchildren. He could see the unease in the large turtle's face as he looked down and continued to eat his breakfast.

"When are you going to tell him?" April was the first to speak up. Offering her seat to the elder who raised his hand in refusal. She was curious, none one had said anything about that since they all found out. Sooner would be better, but too soon would still be too much.

"I...am not so sure." He had thought on it all night. No time seemed very good to tell Donatello that he was carrying little Hamato's within his body. Even though he had been there for Tang Shen all her pregnancy he was not sure what to do for a mutant turtle who was actually a female. It was outside his understanding and best suited for Donatello to explain, but he wasn't sure if even his intelligent son could provide all the answers.

"There is no need to tell him." All eyes looked to Leo as he walked toward him. The light in the lab was off, but he made sure to leave it open. His head was held high as he walked toward them. Clear as day that he was trying hard to be the leader that they needed right now. His mask was off his face still, lowered to around his neck.

Splinter raised a brow to his eldest son. "What do you mean my son?" he tilt his head to the side.

Leonardo bowed before his master, his sensei, his father. "Please be advised Donatello is sleeping. It took him a long time to finally cave to his exhaustion." He looked to all of them when he said that. Wanting to ensure they give him some time to rest. He knew he would not be getting much. He turned back to his father. "I have told him truth." There were gasps at the table, Slash choked on his food and Raph slammed his hands on the able.

"What fuck'en right do ya have ta..." The red clad turtle was silenced by the raising of his father's hand.

The leader in blue gazed up at him. Never once looking away as summoned all his courage to stand before his father. There was anger in those eyes. "You acted without consulting me first." He spoke calmly but sharply. Wanting to get his displeasure made known to them all. "Do you not understand the impact this could have on your brother?! How delicate of a situation this is?!"

"I understood fully. Donatello suspected we were hiding something from him. He wanted to know what it was and asked me for my honesty. I acted as Leader of my Team, a position you gave me, to speak with my second, a position you gave him. I acted as the Eldest brother and heir to the Hamato clan, as you have designated for me. I never meant to over step my boundaries nor try to hurt anyone. Donatello and I had come to an understanding long ago that in order for this team to succeed we needed honesty and trust. You yourself had told me we must be honest even if it was going to hurt those we love." He needed to do this. For himself, for Donnie. "He took the news as well as would be expected. He spend the better part of the night trying to disprove the results of the tests Leatherhead had conducted to be absolutely sure. Needless to say there is no doubt now he knows and understands what he is and what is to be expected of him."

Splinter was both proud and angered by his son taking such a tone against him. He knew he could not fault his son for his choice as it was he himself that encouraged him to follow his heart and to do what he believed was right. "What are his plans?"

He could read what was being asked. Cleverly disguised as a innocent question but was dark in meaning. 'Did he wish to keep the young.' It would be nothing for Leatherhead, if he were willing, to remove them from their brother and they could go about their lives pretending they never were. Donnie would not allow it. "He plans to do all he can for their sake." He could see the sadness in their father's eyes as he nodded his head. Clearly the outcome he had hoped for.

"Eat my son. Once you have finished I want you in the Dojo, alone." He was going to have a serious talk with him about his recent actions and defiance toward what he wished. The old rat filled his tea cup again, using his tail to take the kettle with him as he slowly made his way back to his room.


	28. Cracks in the mask

Leo sat at the table but no food was set before him. Mikey narrowed his eyes at him. "Really, Leo? I think it should have been father who told him!" He crossed his arms and looked at Raph, he was fuming but didn't say anything, possibly because he was afraid to wake Donnie. Mikey set the food down in front of him, far be it from him to let one of his brother's starve. "How was he?" his voice was soft, filled with worry.

The eldest brother took the plate and sighed. "I never saw his so...devastated. Almost like a death sentence." He couldn't get his eye out of his mind. It was horrible to recall and he was glad to have spared his family the sight of their brother's eyes. Before he went to sleep, his eyes had been extremely hallowed. Looking but not seeing. He muttered the whole time up until he passed out. "I don't know what will happen, but I know without a doubt he will need our love and support." He rubbed his eyes, trying to force himself to stay awake. There was far too much needing to be done.

The youngest sighed softly. He felt sorry for his brother. Donnie was such an amazing turtle that it made him fearful of how this would affect him. The body can heal but the mind was another matter. Donnie was strong when it came to matters of the mind. Splinter had always said that of him at least. "What can we do?"

"It's easy Mikey, just do what ya have ta. Love 'em 'n help 'em. Rais'en a kid aint easy. I'm sure Masta Splinter can tell ya that. Ya heard all the stories." He glared at Leo and scuffed. "Just gotta let 'em know he aint alone in this. That we are all here for 'em no matta what." He turned to Slash. "ALL of us."

The large tortoise rolled his eyes, finished his meal and placed it in the sink. "Talk to you soon." He walked over to the exit, taking a moment to look at the lab before walking toward tunnel four. So many memories there. He hates it, how he seemed to be the odd one out. That none of them really considered him part of the family, none of them but Donatello. His sweet mate so willing to give every ounce of his being to those he loved. For his sake and that of his child, he will make peace with Raphael.

Mikey frowned. "Are we really gonna let him stay here?" he was still glaring at the entrance to the lair where Slash had left. He want too happy about what happened before, when the bastard choked him out only stopping when Donnie offered himself as a distraction. He didn't want him near Donnie but knew he had no choice. Everyone seemed to understand that Donnie was okay with Slash being there.

Leo nodded. "Donnie made it clear that he wanted him here. He made no indication that he wanted him to leave. This was even before he knew about the baby." He took a bite of his pancake. "He is terrified Mikey. Donnie cares about him, though I can't say if its something more...perhaps an attachment because of what happened..."

"Stockholm syndrome..." All eyes turned to April. "I mean...I learned about it in Psychology class. It's when feelings of trust or affection felt in many cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor." She rubbed her arm, looking to Casey who nodded, placing his hand on her leg as encouragement and support. "It would make sense. Many times those who have it don't even realize it. Donnie could be feeling for him simply because he was held captive for over a month."

The hot head furrowed his eyes. "So ya tell'en me his affection toward Slash could be all in his head?" this just added more layers of confusion on to an already fucked up situation.

"I'm just saying it is a possibility. I don't know for sure. He would need a doctor and well...the closest we have is Donnie and I'm sure he cant diagnose himself." She sighed softly. "I can get books about it from the library, Casey and I can go later when we go topside. I have to grab a few things while we are up there and talk to my dad." She had a lot to ask of him.

"April." Leo turned to her, his eyes dead serious. "Can you get me books on parenting, PTSD and depression?" He watched her eyes widen.

"You don't think he has PTSD do you?" Mikey's small voice spoke up. Even he knew depression wasn't good, and he recalled PTSD from Ironman 3. Donnie had even commented how well it was represented in it.

Leo turned to his brothers. Raph was unusually silent. No doubt thinking about it too. "I cant say for sure but it is something worth preparing for. I want to know what we are up against and what we can do to help him if it does come to that. Donnie will bottle his feelings, we all know he is good at it. I just want to ensure he wont hurt himself."

"He aint the type ta go that far Leo!" Raph slammed his hands against the table and glared at his eldest brother. "I wont listen ta ya talk about 'im like that. Like he is some kinda depressed psychotic maniac that will slit his wrist at any moment!"

"I didn't say that Raph. I'm just saying that he doesn't handle his problems in a healthy way. Leatherhead told us about the pills he was taking. He even noted that the dose increased each year. Donnie never told us he even took them." He held his head. Clearly tired but knew he could not sleep yet. "I want to be sure he doesn't do anything rash. As far as I am aware he never said anything about wanting to kill himself to anyone, so I think it is safe to rule that out."

Mikey dropped the bowl of pancake batter. His eyes wide with worry and fear, glazed over with tears that streamed down his round face. "Donnie wouldn't think about that!" he cried out. "Donnie cares too much about us to ever think about doing that!" He glared at Leo. "Don't you ever say he would do something so cruel! Take it back Leo!"

"I didn't say he would! I just want to be sure it wont be a possibility! He just had a bomb dropped on him. How would you take it if it happened to you?" He looked to them all, each unsure of the answer. "Exactly, you can't easily say what would go through your mind and all I want to do is be sure that Donnie is okay both physically AND mentally. He is going to need up now more than ever and we have to be sure we don't make matters worse for him."

'I want to die.' Donnie's written words came to her mind as the brothers argued over the possibility that their brother could or would want to commit suicide. While the words themselves didn't fully mean he would kill himself, it didn't deny his desire to end his life. She was unsure if she should tell them about the diary. Casey had been upset that she had read it, she could only imagine what they would think of her if she came out and said she had. There was no way she could say Donnie told her, he never talked about such things to anyone, especially her.

Leatherhead sighed and spoke up, his deep voice breaking past the brother's arguments. "I do not know Donatello well, but I can say that he did show signs of depression. He locks himself away, refused to eat, sleep and sometimes even forgot to bathe. We all thought it was due to him wanting to find the curse for mutation but looking back...I think we all wanted to ignore the truth that Donatello needed help. His behavior is unhealthy and it is showing now more than ever."

They all lowered their heads, unable to deny the facts that stood like an elephant in the room. So clearly before them yet they did everything to ignore it. "Donnie is the one to fix things..." Mikey said softly. "To fix anything and anyone who was broke. If Donnie is broken, who would be the one to fix him?"

The lair was quite, eerily so. Still and unforgiving with a deafening silence as each contemplated the question the youngest proposed.

A gut wrenching scream was heard from the lab, sending a chill down each of their spines. Each was frozen in place as they looked to the dark lab doors. Their hearts pounding like war drums in their chests. It was Donnie.

Leo was the first to snap out of it. He bolted for the lab and turned on the lights to see his brother sitting up on the table hunched over, arms wrapped around his body. He panicked, unsure what to do before he recalled when Mikey had night terrors. How their father would hold them and speak softly to them.

So the eldest did just that. He wrapped his arms around his brother, petting his head gently with one hand and rubbed his shell with another. He laid his head atop the other, trying to keep him from hurting himself further. "Shhhh Donnie I'm here...you're okay." He cooed softly, trying to reassure him.

Donnie was crying, his face twisted in a haunting mix of pain and mortification. "It hurts... cant be right..." he kept repeating over and over again, trembling in his elder brother's arms.

Raph was next to react, only a split second behind Leo he grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around his brother's shoulders, wanting to ensure he felt safe and secured. "It's okay Donnie boy, we wont let nothen hurt ya." He gave a smile. His voice was soft, gentle even, ensuring that Donnie would relax.

Mikey moved in Donnie's line of sight, ensuring that he couldn't see anything but him. The look in Donnie's eyes told him that his brother could not see him, that the only thing he could see was what caused this. Still he smiled brightly anyway, laughing even. "Come on Dee, you're home. You know no one knows where we live. Besides you got this place more secure then Fort Knox and Area 51 combined!"

April stood to follow them into the lab only for Casey to pull her back. "What are you doing?" She shot a angered glance back at him but he kept his face calm. "I want to help!"

"You can by staying away." He saw he eyes narrow so he continued. "It isn't a secret now that he still has feelings for you. The last thing I the world he would want is for you to see him like that. Let them handle this."

She yanked her hand back to retort only to have Leatherhead stand up and place a webbed hand on her shoulder. "He is right. Donatello's mind can be at ease here. The walls he built to protect himself out there will crumble quickly. The best thing we can do for him is allow his family to help him."

"They all want to fuck him though! Given what had happened right now he needs friends too and he doesn't have too many of them! Thing he could tell to them that he cant tell to his family..." She looked at them both. "He always told me everything!"

"April, Donnie didn't tell you about his brother's proposals...he didn't tell you about him still having feelings for you..." Casey stood up and hugged her. "He didn't even tell you how much it hurt him to hear you say you hated him." He felt her tense body relax. There was no arguing with him on this. He was right.

She hugged him back, burying her head in his shoulder. "Why though...we used to be so close..." She recalled the hours they spend in the lab just talking as he worked, tinkering with this and that while helping her with her homework, always with that dorky smile on his face. Always pointing out her mistakes and even with frustration in her voice as she corrected it, he politely explained the correct method to find the answer. He never talked down to her, never made her seem like a fool. He cherished her.

The red head pulled back and looked to Casey. "We should head out. Let's go to the library and grab a few other things. I really want to talk to my dad about something." Yes she would repay him in a way she was sure he would appreciate. It was because of him she had her father back, because of him she was with Casey. Her happiness was all because of him.

"I know that look. What do you have in mind?" He could see the sparkle in her eyes, knowing that there was something she would not let die. She leaned him down and whispered in his ear. Casey smiled too. "Oh he will like that I'm sure, but you think your dad will do it?" he looked at her unsure.

"Of course. He said he wanted to repay him for everything, what better way then that?" She smiled softly and looked to the lab. "Leatherhead, can you let the others know we will be back?"

"Sure." The gator mutant had began to clean up Mikey's mess. His friend had a lot more to worry about then this and it would make much better sense to take this off his hands. After all he did feed him, it was the least he could do. "If you could also bring fresh bandages...Donatello is low on them." He didn't want to ask too much of her.

She gave a nod and pulled out a pad and pen, marking bandages to the list. "Come on Casey. We have a lot to do and little time." She hummed as she ran toward the entrance with Casey close behind her.

The mess was cleaned quickly, leaving Leatherhead with no one else to speak to as he looked around the lair. He saw the television and decided to indulge in a few of his favorite shows. Donatello had set up a television in his lair, even a bit of light security to which the gator was grateful for. He sat on the floor, far to big for the small couch. "Like sand in the hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives." He smiled contently; this was one of his favorite shows.

Donnie had calmed down after seeing Mikey's smile, after feeling safe in Raphie's presence, after being reassured by Leo. He was sitting up, holding a cup of water in his hands, smiling softly as he was bombarded with questions. They were curious what had caused his "episode". No matter how much he tried to reassure them it was nothing they didn't seem to buy it.

"Aint nothi'en that caused ya ta scream like that!" Raph had his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall. He wasn't happy that Donnie was keeping his mouth shut on that he supposedly saw to trigger him like that. It had him worried.

Mikey was on the table, kicking his legs back and forth. "Yeah Dee, I never heard you scream like that. It sounded like a banshee...no wait more like Black Canary!" he kept his smile, knowing it always put Donnie at ease to see him smiling.

Leo was silent. Watching Donnie like a hawk and ensuring that he caught every ounce of body language his brother showed. There wasn't much, he didn't expect there to be. Of all of them Donnie was the best at hiding what troubled him.

"I told you, I'm fine." He tightened his hold on the cup. Leo narrowed his eyes. Clearly knowing he was lying. The elder brother noted that his mask was still around his neck, yet Mikey and Raph still had theirs on, Donnie would allow himself to lie to protect them. "It was just a bad dream."

"Listen, I have bad dreams all the time Dee. None of them were like that." Mikey pat his brother's leg gently. "You don't have to face it alone."

Raph sighed. "I agree with da bonehead. That wasn't no bad dream. I'm think'en it was more a memory." He looked to his brother frowning because Donnie kept his head lower than theirs. "Ya always told me talk'en about what bothers ya helps. I am proof of dat." He of course was referring to the night before.

"Helps you guys." Donnie corrected.

Raph shook his head. "Maybe if ya would talk ta us, then maybe it would help ya."

Donnie shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to tell them anything that happened to him. Donnie himself didn't want to relive the trauma of it. It why he couldn't look up at them. He knew they would be able to see through him. That Leo's perceptive eyes would always pick up on even the smallest hints.

The leader took note and turned to Raph. "He doesn't have to tell us anything if he isn't ready." He saw the slight rise of the olive head. "If he says it is nothing then it's nothing." He saw Raph open his mouth before he closed it again. Clearly he could see what Leo was doing. Backing off for now and let Donnie come to them. All they could do was love and support him. Act to aggressive and it may drive him further away. He turned back to his brother and gave a small smile, reassuring him that they would not push the issue.

They could see Donnie relax his tense body. He didn't want to cause them trouble or worry, often times joking that it was his job to do so. It was clear Donnie didn't get enough sleep and no one could blame him. They would let this slide for now. "How is Sensei?" his voice was small, unsure how their father was taking this news.

The others were silently looking back and forth. "We don't really know Dee. He beat the shit out of Slash. He kinda shut down during Raph beating the shit out of Slash...and he wasn't too happy about..." Mikey was cut off.

"He wasn't happy that I told you the truth." Leo stood firm on his decision. He would not back down and he knew that Donnie was grateful that he did not lie to him. "He wants to have a talk with me about it later."

Donnie's head rose, looking to his elder brother. He never wanted him to get in trouble. How could their father be angry with him for doing what he asked him to. "I want to talk to him."

Leo gave a small smile. "Relax Donnie, he's upset but I doubt I'll get in too much trouble." He wasn't so sure but he wanted to try and ease his brother's mind on the possible repercussions of him jumping the gun so to speak. The look on Donnie's face showed he wasn't convinced. Yet he trusted Leo.

"I still want to talk to him." He lowered his red eyes again. Wanting them to stop staring at him like he was...broken. He was still the same Donnie. Still loved to fix things and invent. The coffee drinker, sleep deprived, doctor, psychiatrist, inventor, brother that they remember. Why were they acting like this changed everything?

Raph nodded. "Leo will let 'im know, though I'm think'en he is already plann'en ta talk with ya." He looked to Leo who nodded as well. "Now, I'm gonna go out fer a bit. Do any of ya need anything?" No one spoke up. "All right, be back in about...an hour or two 'n before ya say anything Leo, I aint leaving da sewers." He walked past Donnie, placing his hand on his shoulder for a moment. "Ya aint alone." He left then, walking to go meet up with Slash. Just as he had promised.

"I better get going too. Sensei told me to go to the dojo after I ate." He wasn't in the mood to finish his food. He needed to talk with Sensei about what as to come of them. What they needed to do. He stood up and gave his brother a reassuring smile. "I'll see you later." He walked out soon followed by Mikey. "I thought you were going to spend the day with Donnie."

"I am but I wanna talk to you really quick." He moved over to the table where he had left the book he showed Raph. "Before you talk to Sensei. It's really really really important!" he gave the puppy dog eyes that no one could resist.

Reluctantly, Leo fallowed Mikey to his room, surprised to hear the door click closed behind them. Mikey never closed his door unless he was upset. "Make it quick Mikey." He watched as his brother grabbed the first book.

"We all know what's up now, aint no hiding it right?" he watched as Leo crossed his arms. "So now we have a bigger problem. We now have to compete with Slash over Donnie right? Because Slash is his mate...right?" Leo narrowed his eyes slightly. It was easier with Raph. "What if I told you the whole mate thing was bullshit bro?" Leo's whole demeanor changed. He was no longer up tight. He relaxed his body, listening.

"How?" was the only response.

"Glad you asked Leo, look!" he pointed to the book. "According to this here, monogamous means having only one mate at a time." He set the book on the bed and held up the other one. "Don said we were red ear sliders right?"

"Yes, now get to the point Mikey." What was his brother getting at?

"Yo bro, red ear sliders are not monogamous! They will mate with as many males as they can to ensure more babies!" He smiled innocently.

Some things seemed to click in his mind. Leo took the book and read exactly what Mikey had mentioned. That their species of turtle did in deed have multiple mates. "And this means what exactly?"

"We both know Donnie wont pick one of us over the other cuz like the best brother ever he doesn't want to hurt our feelings! He even said it when you and Raph got into it. He also said that we are biologically turtles, hence why we have mating seasons! What if Donnie didn't have to pick? We could enter a poly relationship with Donnie. We all get to be with him and he doesn't have to pick one over the other! Everyone wins!"

Leo thought for a long moment before he spoke. "No." He turned on his heel, only to have Mikey grab his arm. He turned around, looking at him with a disinterested glare. He had no time for this.

"Donnie is gonna have a kid. Knowing him he isn't going to want us to be burdened with his problems. He will try to raise it on his own and we know that. If we were in a relationship, a real one with all of us, it isn't about just Sex Leo. It will show out commitment to him and his problems! Raph already thinks it is a good idea and we can work out the details later but you saw him. Donnie didn't seem interested in talking to us. He is bottling it all in again and I don't know how much more he can do that before it finally erupts." Tears formed in the corner of his eyes. "At least think about it. Splinter wont be here forever and how will we hold up without him? Donnie's absence nearly crippled us!"

When Mikey wanted to argue a point he really knew how to argue a fucking point. No doubt things he picked up on when he heard Donnie argue his own cases against them. "I'll think about it." Was all he said before he pulled away and headed to the Dojo.

~LRDM~

Raph looked up at the piece of wood that held Donnie's hand writing. "Tunnel 4: Danger". He as well as the others knew just how dangerous this tunnel was. It was where at least half the citys lines met, the drop form tunnel 4 was at least thirty feet into a swirling pool that emptied into a narrow pipe that lead out into the ocean. Raph had only been here a hand full of times. Two he recalled the most, one pleasant, the other he wished to forget.

He saw the unmistakable shell of Slash. Sitting in the very spot all those years ago. "My kid flushed me." Slash said softly. "He was only a child and we were playing. I ended up here." He looked down at the ground. "Cold and all alone."

"It's where I found ya." Raph moved to sit next to him. "Took ya home 'n ya became my best friend. That seems like a life time a go." He looked out at the swirling vortex. "Mikey was so jealous, he kept hound'en Splinter ta get 'im a pet." He smiled at the fond memories.

Slash looked down at Raph. He could see he was uncomfortable being there. After all it was only a few months later that Tunnel 4 became infamous among the small family. "You still blame yourself?" he asked softly.

"Every damn day." Because of him they almost lost Donnie at a young age. He balled his fist. "Do you still blame yourself?" he was referring to what happened during mating season. How he had raped his brother an unknown amount of times.

There was a small grunt. "Yeah." He shifted his weight. "Like I said, I had no intention of hurting him like that. All I know is that my bro...Newtralizer had gotten him from some dimension and brought him back. He knew I wanted him but I would never have acted on those...desires."

"Why did ya tell 'im then? Why did ya make it so obvious?!" he tried to stay calm, he was doing this because he had to for Donnie. He needed to make peace, wanted to make peace. Slash had made poor decisions since his mutation and Raph wanted to know why. What had he done to him to deserve his hate?

"I thought I could trust him. He called me brother and I was alone." Raph knew Slash hated to be alone because Spike hated it. "I saved Donatello from him. Newtralizer was trying to force himself on him. I was able to stop him, but I am sure we have not seen the last of that bastard." He had been hurt, his trust once again betrayed.

"Christ..." Raph balled his fist. What the fuck? Newtralizer wasn't even a turtle, why the hell would he want Donnie for that?" he shuddered at the thought him. Now they had him to worry about with Donnie? The list just seemed to grow lately and it was looking like it was best if Donnie were either to never leave the sewers or leave New York all together.

"I knew how you felt about him. Even from a young age you always said you were gonna marry him." He recalled watching Raph make crayon art of him as a knight saving Princess Donnie.

He was taken back by this. Slash could have easily over powered Donnie and taken him before mating season. Yet he didn't because he knew Raph loved him. He still cared about Raph even after their fight.

"I wasn't myself during the first three days. The mutagen...it did something to my head. Made me so angry and aggressive...I did things I regret and I knew you wouldn't forgive me for hurting your brother's." he sighed heavily. "When I was hurting him, Donnie tried to reason with me. Tried to tell me he knew it wasn't my fault...the more he talked the angrier I got." His voice was cracking. "Then I remember seeing him enter the cell...I remember how beautiful he looked...how sweet he smelled..."

This was not what he expected when he came here. He thought they would argue and fight but this...his friend was clearly upset about this. He had thought Slash was happy with what he had done to Donnie. The way he flaunted it against him and his brothers. The things he said last night. It was all a front.

"It was like something controlling me. A voice in side just nagging at me to..." he sighed. "I remember the look in his eyes...the scream...how good it felt...I could smell the blood as it mixed with my seed..." he felt the tears break through. "He never hated me for it. He told me so himself but you can see that it affected him. I didn't know that he could...I wished he would but I never thought he could..."

Raph placed a hand on his friend's arm. "I know buddy." He recalled his own mating season. How he felt that same nagging and calling to breed Donnie. No matter how hard he tried, there was nothing he could do to stop himself from lusting after his brother. Almost as if watching himself do it with no real control. "Donnie already told me it aint ya fault. Said it was nature and biology shit I hardly understand. Told me he didn't blame ya for none of it."

"That Donatello is too pure for this world." Slash closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "What actually happened here? All those years ago?" He was curious. No one but him and Donnie knew the whole story. Neither of them were willing to say.

"Just me being a fuck'en idiot." He looked down at the vortex. He could almost hear the screams from his brother's tiny voice. He could still see the tiny olive green hand as it was pulled under the water. They were just kids playing around and because of him... they almost lost that warm smile. It was clear he didn't want to talk about it. "So...Ya gonna be a pop soon huh?" it didn't sit well. Yet he had to make peace with it. There was no changing the fact that Donnie carried his kid.

The larger mutant grunted. "Don't know what to do. My species never stayed with the young, but because I have some human in me all I can think of is to defend it." He was conflicted on it.

Raph looked up at him curiously. Clearly Slash was more animal then the rest of them. "I think we found a way ta make things work fer all of us." He could see Slash looking at him. "Mikey can take da credit cuz it's his idea." He had a sinking feeling that Slash wouldn't like the idea. "So...given that we are a specific kinda turtle...red beaked?" he tried to think, what had it been called? "Not important, anyway, we aint monogamous. We have multiple mates...well the females do...and since Donnie is biologically a chick...with a penis..." why did it make sense when Mikey said it?'

"Donatello wont choose any of us over the others." Slash lowered his head. As much as he desired it, there was nothing he could do. Donatello would never willingly be with him. He had to accept this. The only connection they would have would be that child. "I just want what will make you and him happy. If it is with eachother then so be it. There is little I can do to change that. What I wanted for us...it was only a pipe dream."

"Slash..." Raph stood up. "I know ya didn't mean it. Donnie knows ya didn't mean it. He doesn't hate ya!" he stood before him. "Listen, when we thought of this, we factored yous into it as well. You are the father of his kid and there is no way we can change that. We can only do our best for Donnie and that kid and we wanna make this family as close as it can be."

"You wanna know the scariest part of all this?" Slash said softy. His eyes looking down at Raph. "That no matter what I do...what I say...I can never take back what I did to him. He can pretend all he wants. Come up with some science shit to defend my actions...but in the end, I can see it in his eyes. The hurt...the pain...the silent suffering...I cant take that away from him. I doubt anyone could." He looked ahead. "If he never truly loves me I can live with that. I can only hope when he looks at our child that he will love them and cherish them. I don't want him to look at them and think about how they came into this god forsaken world. I want him to love them..."

~LRDM~

Leo sat before his father with his legs tucked under him. His eyes carefully watching his master and father as he poured the green tea into the cup. The silence was always deafening. He hated it when he knew his father had much to say about something but refused to prolong it. The old rat gently handed him the cup and they both drank together.

"Sensei I..." he wanted to break the silence, to break the tension that grew between them. He hated that most of all. As if he had disappointed their father. That he was not the Heir he had always hoped for. Yet he was cut off by the raised hand. Anyone who knew Hamato Yoshi knew better then to speak when his hand was raised for silence.

The rat sipped at his tea. Keeping his eyes closed as he stroked his beard. "You have grown quite bold in recent months my son." His eyes looked at him with a angered glare. A look his children had grown to fear. "I had attributed it to the loss of your brother, but now I can see that it is something more." He set the tea cup down gently. "You did not consult me before telling your brother the truth, you went behind my back and disrespected my authority in front of your brothers."

The eldest son lowered his head. He knew what he said was true. Leo had snapped at Splinter once or twice, yet he was always quick to apologize. Splinter was quick to forgive as he felt it was the pressure he was feeling as the leader to not only find their missing brother but to do so without his second in command. That on top of the mutation of his daughter, expectations from his brothers and even April and Casey...he had thought the pressure was getting to him. Now he could see defiance in his eyes. His son was willing to fight for what was right, what he believed was the right path.

"I will not apologize." Silver eyes raised. Looking at him with his head held high, like the true born leader he knew he could be. "I followed your orders. I followed my heart. I showed my second and my brother the trust you instilled in us. Everything I did was based upon what you taught me about being a good leader and brother."

The hand stroking his beard stopped. His tail thumped against the tatami mat in annoyance. He could not fault him on any of that. "Even so I had been preparing to break the news to your brother since Mr. O'neil told me about Donatello's true biology." He sighed heavily. "I fear I have failed you all in not knowing the truth. I had been too ignorant of the possibilities and even ignored the evidence that had been so clear." His eyes softened. "What are your intentions my son?"

The turtle tilt his head to the side. "My intentions?"

"I understand that you and your brothers have been attempting to court your brother even before he was discovered to be a female." Before Leo could ask how he showed him the stack of security tapes. Those had been set up years ago as a their first security system. "I have not needed to review them before as I had full trust over you all. Now I can see that you all have caused your brother a great amount of stress." He then pulled out the notes Donatello had on them. Most educated guesses. "I have been reading up on his discoveries. He has even made it clear you are all not related by blood." He set the page down between them. "This would mean if you three proceed to court him, it would not be considered incest."

Leo looked the information over. While he was aware of some of this he had not seen just how extensively his brother had researched into their biology and genetic makeup. He was impressed with Donnie and all he had accomplished, even more so at the diagram of their supposed anatomy that had been hand drawn by him, the amount of details was astonishing. "Why are you telling me this?"

"You four are the only ones of your kind. Slash is very close but he is not the same. You four are my sons and all that survives of my clan. Miwa is still so conflicted...I cannot be certain she will ever see herself as a Hamato." There was pain in his voice. She was his only true born child. "Even so, I had always had the hope you would each find someone that would make you happy and who would bring you peace. I never expected that you would have the ability to have your own young."

The leader wasn't sure what his father was saying. What did any of this have to do with him telling Donatello the truth? Still he remained silent wanting to hear his father out fully.

The old rat looked him in the eyes. "You are my heir. When I die you shall inherit the clan and all that comes with it. This means your brothers well being, the home we have built and the family we have made." He could see his son still did not understand. "It is my intention to solve all of our problems simply and traditionally. While there is little I can do to make things right, I feel this would be the best solution for all."

He set before him an album of photos. Some dating as far back as the edo period. Leonardo was encouraged to look through the album. Each held a near identical picture of a standing man and sitting woman. "Wedding photos?" the leader questioned. He made it to the end, the last page held the photo of their father with his late wife Tang Shen. "I don't understand."

Yoshi stood then, moving silently to the photo of his wife and infant daughter. "I do not wish to have my son suffer with his rapist." He had heard the scream from earlier. It only served to seal his final judgment."I have the desire to protect him and preserve his honor the only way I can think of." He moved his hands behind his back. "It is my intention to have you court and wed your brother Donatello."

Leonardo's jaw clenched tightly, hands balling upon his legs as he tried to process what his father had said. Why had he come to this decision? How had he just so easily decided Donatello's fate like this? They had only learned he was with child last night, Donatello had only known a few hours. What was his father thinking? "I do not understand..."

"It is clear. If Donatello continues to suffer as he had this morning I shall personally take care of Slash. I want the child to grow with two parents. You are the heir to the Hamato clan and so Donatello is the only one who can provide you heirs. It will ensure the safety of the family and the continuation of the Hamato bloodline." He turned to him. "This is what you desired is it not? To have your brother, to have a family, to have my blessing?" he set his hand on his son's shoulder. "It is everything you want."

His son moved quickly, bowing before him lowly. "Father please reconsider! While it is all I could ever have hoped for it is nothing that he wants! Donatello will never agree to it because he knows that it will hurt Raphael and Michelangelo! They love him just as much as I do! They desire him as much as I do!"

"They cannot protect him or his child." His voice was stern, unmoving like a mountain. "You are the most skilled of them all and I have seen how well you two work with each other. It has saved you and your team countless times." He looked down at his son. "Raise your head." The young turtle did not move. "I was not asking! Raise your head!" this time he was obeyed.

"Father please! If you force him to do this he will hate us both! Raph and Mikey..." he saw the raised hand, he disobeyed it. "We are not monogamous!"

Splinter looked down at his son, raising a brow.

"Our species of turtle will mate with many males to ensure a diverse clutch of eggs! We are not bound to a single mate and I know that if you allow us to work this out you can have everything you want and everyone will be happy! Donatello will be safe, I will have my heirs and the family will be strong! Even Raph and Mikey can have children, the Hamato name can be just as strong as it was before!"

"I will not allow such under my roof..." he was cut off.

"We are not human!" he shouted. "We may live as humans, we may pretend we are and forget we are turtles by emerging ourselves in your culture and civilized thinking but in the end..." his eyes teared up, so full of pain and sorrow. "We are four silly little turtles." He looked into his father's eyes. "We can never be the sons you want us to be. We can only do our best and I know that this is not the way to make things right!"

His father looked at him a long while. Looking like a dignified man that refused to have his judgment put into question. He slowly walked to his son. "I will make the necessary preparations." The old rat moved past him toward his room, opening the door before he looked back. "Your wedding shall be on the summer solstice." He slammed the door shut, sealing the final word.

~LRDM~

The chuckle was forced. Mikey could tell just by the way it sounded. Even though his laugh was full hearted and real, Donnie's was forced. It made him want to cry, knowing that his brother was trying so hard to make him happy. He didn't want to call him out on it, knowing that pointing it out would only make things worse.

"No Dee I'm like totally serious! She asked Leo to make Raph roll over!" he slapped his knee and held his sides. "Seriously bro, it took everything not to laugh my ass off right then and there!" Mikey calmed down some. "I seriously cant believe she is Splinter's daughter..."

Donnie's chuckle died quickly. His head tilt slightly in confusion. "What?" Seriously, what the heck did he just say? It was indeed a shocking realization that Karai was truly their father's lost daughter. Worse yet they had been fighting her, she who was their father's only blood born child.

"Oh right! You weren't here for that. Anyway, turns out Karai is actually Miwa who was kidnapped and raised by Shredhead. She and Splinter had a moment but she was pissed off at her fake daddy and tried to off him for killing her mother. Needless to say, Shredder got the upperhand. We tried to help her and get her back but..." he froze before looking at the wide eyed Donnie. "She got mutated into this snake thing. We haven't seen much of her since. Splinter is devastated. Bro...I'm sure he actually cried." His voice was low, saddened by the memory of it. A memory he didn't share with them. "Don't know where she went. We lost track of her a few weeks ago when she was helping us look for you. We told her you created retro mutagen and could help her."

Donatello put his hand on Mikey's shoulder. "I will. I'm sure we will find our sister." He gave a reassuring smile. "I know I can." He was always able to fix things. Anything that was broken, with enough time, patience and elbow grease. "So tell me, what else did I miss?" Mikey needed him. The others didn't always understand what he was saying or talking about but he did. He had the patience to listen to him, even as tots. When his words would go a hundred miles a minute when he was really excited or scared. They had always looked to him to tell them what he was saying.

"...so anyway, Leo got all pissy with Raph because he felt you belonged to him because of some kiss, even going as far as to say you were his mate. I told them that this wasn't like a good time for that but as usual they blew me off. So, they started at each other almost like they thought they were the best kisser. I was just standing there pissed off because who cares who is better I didn't even get to kiss him. I'm just totally beside myself because they cant seem to get off each other's dicks about who kissed you first when I'm pretty sure it was Raph..."

He wasn't sure how to feel hearing that his brothers were still fighting over him. That they had continued to lay claim to him when each had forcefully taken what was not theirs. Yet, even now he could read between the lines. He knew Mikey well enough to know what he wanted. 'They got to kiss you...why not me?' He wasn't going to outright ask for a kiss, he knew he wouldn't refuse a request from him. Mikey liked to play games, sometimes when it wasn't fully appropriate. He wanted to be just like his older brothers. To share and experience the same things they do and often time he was left out, much to his displeasure.

"...I mean I get it Dee. I cant imagine learning what you did about yourself and still feel like you have to make the choice on who to be with, so really just focus on yourself for a while and stop kissing your brothers..." he laughed at his own stupid joke. "I bet Raph is a bad kisser, he seems like the type to try and tongue you."

Donnie looked away, down at his hands. He recalled his first kiss, how it was taken from him by his hot head brother. Raph had been aggressive just before then, pinning him to the wall because he was going to call himself a burden. It was then he leaned in, kissing him and claiming him with his tongue. He had been so terrified then, so afraid of what was happening and so unsure how to handle it. Raph had been angry because he did not reciprocate the kiss.

"Now Leo...I doubt that jerk even knows how to kiss. He probably considered a peck on the lips something quite passionate. You know that guy is seriously under qualified to be a good lover, I mean passionate lover...He seems like he could cum just by holding your hand..."

He held himself. The first kiss with Leo was anything but pleasant. Leo had been even more aggressive, more assertive. He was rough and cold as he forced himself into the kiss, wanting to replace his own scent and claim over what Raph had done. His timing was poor as well, in the middle of battle while trying to escape the Kraang with an unconscious Mikey. Leo was not himself, and given how he was yesterday night, he could tell it was due to the coming mating season.

"What about you?" Donnie spoke softly, not looking up at his brother.

Mikey stopped talking for the first time since they were alone. "Me?" he rubbed the back of his head. A light blush dusted across his freckles. "Well Don't know. Never kissed anyone. I mean there was that time when April kissed my cheek but im not thinking that counts. I mean I practiced once or twice...three dozen times...watched some youtube videos..." the more he spoke the deeper his blush got. "Always wanted to wait you know...for the right moment. Like in the movies. Kisses have to be special right? To really mean anything? Like in the Princess Bride! I want to kiss only one person, the same one I have been wanting to kiss for like ever!"

"Humperdink?" Donnie was trying to joke around with him, but it came out pitifully.

Mikey burst into laughter, falling out of his chair and onto his shell. "Are you freaking kidding me Dee? Like I would want to kiss that buffoon when Daddy Wesley is right there?" he wiped the tears from his eyes, he even saw a smile on his brothers face. Just for a second, but an actual smile. He stood up, chuckling softly as Donnie shook his head. "No, seriously though I really had only one person in mind."

He watched as the sea foam green hand laced with his own. It looked so much fuller and healthier than his, so much warmer. He felt the other hand curl a finger under his chin, slowly raising his head so their eyes meet. Baby blue eyes, so soft and loving, so full of energy and wonder. Eyes of the youngest brother. His only baby brother. The hand squeezed his own, reassuring him. "Whenever I thought of kissing, as weird as it may seem...it was always you I imagined." His voice was different. It wasn't innocent and cheerful. It was serious and deep. It broke his heart because his little brother was seeing so grown up now. "I want to take care of you Dee." He leaned forward, tilting his head to the side.

Donnie closed his eyes, accepting the fate that he knew was to come. Mikey wanted to be on par with their older brothers, to have had the same experiences as them and to keep up with them. So when Mikey's lips pressed against his own, he opened his mouth, allowing his little brother to do as the others had. To lay claim to what was not his.

His heart raced in his chest when he took Donnie's hand in his own. He could feel the bones in his brother's three fingers and it made him sad that he didn't even look up at him. So he fixed it, curling his finger under that pale green chin and smiled brightly. He spoke deeply, sensually without changing his voice much. "I want to take care of you Dee." He meant it, every word with every ounce of his being. He took advantage of the moment, leaning in and fulfilling his fantasy of kissing his sexy brother. From the moment their lips touched he could feel the electrifying pulse shoot through him, urging him to deepen the kiss. He never expected it to feel so fucking good, or for his body to heat up like this. Yet when Donnie opened his mouth and accepted him, Mikey lost control.

He tucked his hand behind his brother's head, laying his head back against the metal bed. Never once removing his lips as his tongue laid claim to his brother's mouth. Cleansing it of all who came before him. He hopped on the bed, making sure he didn't rest his body on Donnie as they continued to kiss, his hands gathering his brother's as he raised his arms above his head, holding them there easily with one hand. He pulled away, breaking the kiss and looked down at his brother. He licked his lips and smiled down at him. "Nice view."

Donnie was panting, eyes half lidded, cheeks flushed as he looked up at the other. The purple mask was still around his neck, his body was bare of all gear from having been injured. To them, it was the same as being naked. "Please..." was all he could choke out as he turned away. His breaths picked up as he tried to will himself to calm down. This only made things worse.

Mikey was willing to indulge Donnie more. The please only encouraged him to give Donnie what he wanted. "If you say so bro." he leaned back down, pecking the corner of his lips and jawline.

The elder brother choked back a cry. He wanted to kick him away but his leg hurt too damn much to move. He turned back to look at his brother only to see him not there. He froze in fear, looking up into a large dark shadow with spike protruding from it, sickly yellow eyes glared back at him. His breaths were quick and shallow causing him to feel light headed and weak. The beast buried himself in the nape of his neck, causing him to curr. The fell of the other on him only moved to increase his panic, he was unable to think straight as the quick breaths weren't providing enough oxygen to his brain and try as he may he couldn't get it undercontrol. He felt like he was suffocating on air as he weakly tried to break free of the hold.

The shadow moved his hand down his body, pressing it's leg between his own, pulling them apart to rest between. Another cry and couldn't find his voice to protest. That was when he felt the large spiked hand easily cup his face, keeping his head turned as his long tongue licked down his neck. That was it, Donnie struggled and broke free, using his good leg to kick himself out from under the beast. Everything around him crashed to the ground, the IV in his arm flew out of his arm as he hit the ground on the side of his shell, knocking the wind out of himself. He grabbed his arm, holding the now bleeding hole where the IV had been, his body curled in fetal position, his tail tucked between his legs.

Mikey was stunned. All he did was kiss him and Donnie started to breathe heavy when they broke away. His hands had hugged himself, digging his nails into his skin causing him to bleed. When he tried to ask what was going on, his brother didn't respond. He wasn't seeing him. He looked so helpless, so afraid as Mikey picked up on the onset of a panic attack. He took his hands by the wrist, yanking them down so he wouldn't continue to gouge at his own flesh. He didn't know what to do. So he tried to get Donnie's attention, tried so hard to get him to see him his brother and not what eyes monster he was so terrified of. No matter how much or how loud he cried out his name he wasn't responding to him, as if he couldn't hear him at all. When he cupped his head in his hands, Donnie let out a choked sob before pushing away from him. His grip and loosened by the push and Donnie fell from the table to his side in a heaping mess.

Raph had returned by them, had run into the room when he heard Mikey's panicked cries. He had seen Donnie's face. How terrified off Mikey he had been, but he knew that it wasn't Mikey he had seen. He ran to them but he was too late, Donnie had fallen from the bed and was having a panic attack on the floor. His breathing far to quick and shallow to easily be maintained again. As he made his way all he could hear from Mikey was choked apologies, I didn't mean to's and im so sorry's.

Slash followed suit, worried about Donnie and the child. He had just seen him fall, curled in a heap upon the floor as Raph made his way to him. Leatherhead was trying to get answers from the youngest turtle and Slash made his way to try and assist with Donatello. Raph had his head on his lap, trying to prevent him from hurting himself further. He tried to speak, tried to get through to his brother but he couldn't. Donnie wasn't listening to any of the as he pushed them away. When his eyes looked up at his own, he could see true fear in those purely red eyes. There was silence for but a moment. A small moment as they stared each other down. When Slash reached out to him, Donatello screamed.


	29. April

"April, will you slow down and answer me?!" Casey trailed behind her, trying hard to dodge the many rude people within the city's sidewalks. She had not stopped since they had started out to help the turtles, to help Donnie. She was determined to get back as soon as she could so she could talk to him but He was upset that she ignored his question. When she didn't stop, he grabbed her arm, pulling her in an alley. "Red come on, relax a bit will you? I need you to understand that I care just as much as you do about them but...why didn't you tell them about what you read in the diaries? About him saying he wanted to die when Leo mentioned it?"

She looked away from him, her eyes cast down as she held her arm. "I...don't think he means it. I didn't want to worry them over nothing." She was being half truthful. She didn't want the m to judge her or get angry at her for looking...more so she didn't want them to tell Donnie. She could only imagine what he would do, what he would think of her.

Casey sighed softly, pulling away from her. "Red, no one really write that shit down unless they thought of it. Of all of them, Donnie is the one I don't get. No one can get inside his head. This makes things harder, more difficult because we don't have a clue what he is thinking." He rubbed the back of his head.

The girl's eyes met his. "I know..." her voice was low, almost fearful. "Donnie...even when he talks...you can tell he isn't saying everything. Almost like he is conditioned to hold himself back." She looked at her watch. "We need to get going. We have to stop at my house, get to the store and then the library...there is too much that needs to be done and I really want to get back to him...them." she corrected.

"I know babe, but you cant run around New York like a chicken with its head cut off. Relax a bit, take your time okay?" he took her hand in his and gave her hand a kiss. "Chill okay? For me?"

She was not so confident she could relax given what had happened. Donnie's scream was still within her mind. It had sounded so frightened, so pained. Far from the Happy smiles she recalled the last time she seen him. Now when she thinks on it, she never recalled his smiles ever reaching his eyes. They had always seemed so...sad.

"Come on, let's get going, I'm sure Donnie will be happy to see you." Casey hugged her before taking her hand and leading the way to her house. He was sure the last person Donnie wanted to see was her. After everything that had happened. He wanted to support her but also...for now...keep her from him. For both their sakes.

~LRDM~

When the scream ripped through the lair, Leo didn't have time to react. He saw his father run from the dojo in a flash with him soon following behind. Splinter ran to the Lab, not caring that Slash stood in his way, he was easy enough to avoid as he knelt down and took his son in his arms. "Shhhh, calm yourself Donatello..." he gently stroked his head, holding him close to his chest to he didn't hurt himself if he resisted. He was still hysterical, hardly able to breathe. Pushing away from his father, trying to escape some unseen tormentor. Splinter thought back, what was it that made Donatello calm as a child? Michelangelo loved to be held, Leonardo liked to be rocked, Raphael liked head pats...Donatello was never really a fussy child.

A small voice started to sing, his ear perked, trying to hear it better. It was small, almost shy and unsure but it soon grew in volume so it could be heard over the cried from Donatello. Still it remained soft, serene and calming. Splinter recalled then, that Donatello loved lullabys. Songs especially that talked about the beauty of the world around them. The cries soon dyed down to nothing more than sobs as the singer moved toward him. The one who Donatello had once said had the better voice of them all.

A leaf green hand reached out to him, stroking his shell above the wound and giving him a gentle smile as he sang. Leonardo was the only one who Donatello always stopped his work to hear. As shy as Leonardo was about his voice, he couldn't help but sing when he and Donatello were alone in the Lab which was sound proof. His brother had helped prefect the sound, using his intelligence to help him though practice in exchange for measuring sound waves to see if he could harness them as a tool against their enemies, perhaps something that could disable the mutants without killing them, those like Tigerclaw with sensitive hearing.

Leo was singing his favorite, Secret Garden, something Donnie was always fascinated with when he was younger. A Gaelic song that he had learned to mimic the sounds of even though he didn't understand the words. It was enough for him to see his brother smile. He learned when they happened upon a discarded CD in the sewers and played it. The others were not very fond of it but the sound captivated their brother. Almost as if a siren had been singing it. It wasn't until after he got the computer did he translate the lyrics, having taught himself the dialect instead of simply looking up the lyrics.

The shadows were all around him. Crying out and yelling, reaching for him, touching him when he didn't want to be touched. They grabbed at him, clawed at him and all he could do was push them away but still they forced themselves to him. Clinging to him and it made things all the worse because he couldn't understand them. Their words were nonsensical, as if speaking an alien language he had yet to encounter. He could feel them touching him, stroking him. The Shadows slowly clawed their way up his body, dragging him further into the darkness. Suffocating him as he tried to claw his way out.

That was when he hear the song...the words washed over him, reminding him of his family, of his brothers. How small they were, how innocent and pure. The voice...it was Leo's. He knew it so well because he helped to tone it. The Shadows began to retreat, drawing back as he looked at them, their eyes fading, darkness banished slowly as he recited the lyric with his brother. Soon, he could see, behind each shadow as someone he loved so dearly. Before him he could only see Leo, singing softly, like he had when they were but tots. The song that so captivated him with the beauty of the voice that had sung. Enchanting and mythic in nature, striving for him to explore more about the world and the land this song had come from.

Leo smiled brightly, not spotting his song even when it reached the end. He started from the beginning as he reached his hand out and cupped his brother's cheek when he began to spoke the words. He got through when the others couldn't. He knew what Donnie needed and he knew that this would only prove their father right. That he was the only choice for Donatello. Yet if it was not what his brother desired he would refuse, even if his father disowned him, he would not put their brother through a marriage he had no desire to be in. "It's okay." He said softly. "No one will hurt you..."

"Leo..." his brother looked at him with tear filled eye, closing them only when he realized how worried he had made everyone. He couldn't get himself under control and made a scene. Letting his mind go and recall what had happened. He buried his face in his brother's warm hand to be grounded to this reality and not the one he allowed of himself. The shadows were nothing, he had to remind himself. They were in his head and a figment of his imagination. He sat idle too long; it was dangerous to do now. He had to et back to work, had to invent and create, mix and build, distract his mind and body so he would not have to recall the monsters that lived inside his mind.

Splinter watched them, noting the same conclusion he had thought before. That Leonardo was the only choice for Donatello. When the other two had panicked, Leonardo had calmly thought of a solution even before he himself could. If Leonardo stayed with his training, he had no doubt he would surpass him in every possible way. Though given the current state of Donatello's mind, he would need to push the wedding back to possibly the winter solstice. He did not wish to rush Donatello's recovery.

~LRDM~

"Dad! I'm home." April threw her bag on the couch and entered with Casey close behind. She closed the door behind him and walked over to her father who was sitting at the table reading the news paper. She gave him a kiss before sitting down at the table.

"You know I would have preferred you to call earlier, jellybean." He said softly, setting the paper down to look at her. "I worry about you with those mutants and Kraang running around. Oh...not the Turtles and Splinter just...you know the not nice ones."

She rolled her eyes. "I know I should have but...they got Donnie back." She wanted to continue but her father spit out his coffee. "Dad, are you okay?" She grabbed a rag and began to clean the table.

"Last night? How I thought they weren't going on patrol because they couldn't stop arguing." He raised a brow at her. "Wait...wasn't he also in some other dimension with the Kraang?" taking a napkin he wiped his face. Eyeing Casey who stayed well away from April in his house.

"That's just it dad, he was brought to them by Slash..." when her father opened his mouth she quickly answered the question. "He was Raph's pet turtle before he got mutated. He got really big and spikey, bad attitude and beat the crap out of Donnie and Mikey because he wanted Raph as his brother...Anyway, there is more to it then that. Seems they had a run in with Shredder's goons and Donnie got hurt..." she looked away. "Pretty badly."

"How badly? Is he even conscious?" There were so many questions Kirby had as he tried to process what on Earth Shredder would do to the poor turtle. He stood up ready to grab what he needed if she was going to ask him to check him out.

April held her hand out to calm her father. "He's okay dad. He was up and talking last night but...Im afraid you were right." Her voice was soft, talking as if filled with deep remorse. As if she had watched someone die in front of her.

His brows furrowed in confusion. "Right about what?" he could only hope it wasn't anything bad.

"Donnie is biologically a female and well...For a month he was gone...It was during mating season and he..." How was she going to explain this so her father would understand? It's not like she could bring herself to blatantly say 'Hey dad Donnie was raped by a big tortoise who is now currently at the lair I spent the night at', he would forbid her from going.

Kirby's eyes widened. "Please tell me he was willing?" He knew his daughter well enough to understand her. She was such a clever girl but when it came to things that made her uncomfortable...she tried to avoid it if possible.

Casey shook his head. "Sadly no, Leatherhead...well he tended to Donnie when he got back and found..." he knew better then to let April respond to that. She was emotional as it was and reading Donnie's Diary wasn't helping her. Though she didn't say much about what she read to him, he kept trying to urge her to put them back. Perhaps now was too little too late.

Kirby's eyes narrowed in sorrow and understanding. The answer was clear on their faces but he still needed to be absolutely sure. "She's pregnant isn't she? How can you be sure?"

"He dad...Donnie is still a he until he decides to be referred to as a she, but pronouns are the least of our problems. Leatherhead is nearly as smart as Donnie and he tested it a dozen times and according to Leo, Donnie confirmed it as well." She wiped her eyes. "This leads me to what I want to ask you..." she stood up and walked to a stack of catalogs that they still got from when her mom passed away, they didn't have the heart to cancel them. It made them feel as if she were still there. She set one down and opened it up. "I want to repay him, for everything he has done for us, hell we would be with the Kraang now if it weren't for him and the retromutagen..." she looked down at the baby items, cribs, bassinets, toys. "I want new things for him. Not the junk he can get in the yard but..." she covered her mouth to stifle the cry. "He deserves it! After everything he has done and been through he deserves at least this, not just for him but because he could easily get rid of the baby but he wants to keep it. I don't even know if I would...if it were me..." She felt her father wrap his arms around her.

"Shhhh April...I get it. It's hard on everyone to see someone we care about suffer and feel so helpless. Why don't you take the catalog to his family and pick stuff out. I have a little saved up and we can get some things, okay?" He lift her head only to see her smiling through her tears.

"Thank you Dad! I always knew you were the best!" She kissed his cheek and stuffed the catalog in her bag. "I will do extra chores, I'll even get a job when Donnie is feeling better! I promise I will make the money up to you!"

"Hey, It's the least I can do. I'll be sure to visit him and thank him in person when I can." He smiled at her and watched as she left the house. The smile soon fading from his face. "Stay safe..." He knew he would have to keep his daughter from going there. Since Donatello was a female...the others would surely kill for her.

~LRDM~

"Come one bone head ya have ta think. Just what happened when ya were talk'en ta 'im?" Raph was leaning with his hands against the kitchen table. Donnie had calmed down now and was being examined by Leatherhead. Leo was pacing behind Raph, Splinter sat next to him and Slash across from him. Give the severity of what had happened, they all wanted to know just what triggered Donnie. "We aint gonna be mad at ya. No one is blam'en ya fer what happened."

They youngest tried hard to think. What had he said to make Donnie act like that? What would they believe because he was too afraid to tell them all that he had simply kissed Donnie. That was between them and only them. It was supposed to be special. "I...I was talking about Karai...filling him in on everything he missed. Like how she was our sister..." he could see Leo stop pacing for a minute, think for a moment before he paced again. He still wasn't over what happened.

"Go on my son, what else happened." They had been over it three times already and still no one could seem to understand what it was that set his son off. What was the trigger that caused him to push them all away as he had? They didn't wish to ask the source, far too afraid it may trigger him again.

Mikey shot out of his chair and slammed his hands on the table. "I told you all already I don't know! If I did wouldn't you think I would have said something?!" He was pissed that it was him who caused his brother to be afraid. The kiss had started off just fine, almost like he always dreamed but when he deepened it, when he put his hand behind his brother's head, that was when he noticed the change. Tears flowed in his eyes. "I didn't mean to...I was only talking to him...like we always did..."

Splinter placed his hand on his son's shoulder. "We know my son, there was no reason for you to feel at fault. I am sure in time we can understand what his triggers will be. For now it is safe to say your brother is suffering from PTSD." He glared at Slash who simply lowered his head. "What ever happened, it seems he is reliving those moments in his mind. While his body will heal quickly, I fear that his mind is another matter entirely." He stroked his beard.

"So yer say'en he is fucked in da head." Raph threw his hands in the air. He didn't want to think about what that meant for Donnie who lived his life by what he could learn and do from what he learned. So have the brainiac mentally unhinged like that...it was a thought that made him shudder.

Splinter wacked his red banded son with his tail for using such crass words. "I would not put it quite that way but yes." He looked to his eldest who paced back and forth. Perhaps it would be a good time to see what he would be like as head of the clan. "Leonardo." His son froze in place before turning to look at him. "What, in your opinion should be done about your brother, please take into consideration the events that have lead him to come home."

Leo know this was a test, to see if he was worthy of the Hamato clan legacy. "Given the severity of his injuries, coupled with the threat now from Shredder and the Foot Clan...I think it is safe to say Donatello will be safest in the lair, as we also do not know when he will...give birth." He could see Splinter nodding his approval. "Things will need to be done around the lair to aid him, including baby proofing. We need to also stock up on food and supplies, no patrols for now, until we can be sure that we take care of our family first."

Raph was not happy about not being able to return the favor to those fucking Foot Bastards that hurt his little brother. He had a fucking special place to stick his sai when he met up with Rahzar. His claw marks were all over Donnie's shell. He was gonna kill them, each and every god damn one of them. He was sure mutants didn't get into heaven, so why the fuck would he take as many of them to hell with him?

"So what now? Bro, I don't know about you all but I aint got nothing for a baby." Mikey sat back down, laying his head in his arms. "No crib, no toys...well baby toys...where the heck are we gonna put it?" he looked around. There wasn't much room in any of their rooms for the child.

"I know a place..." Slash said softly. All eyes looked to him and he felt like an outsider among them. "I was planning to take Donatello there. It is very large, it has many rooms and...I think it was going to be like a shopping mall while people waited on their trains." He grabbed the map of the known subway routes that they had explored. Pulling it from the wall and pointing to a blank spot. "Right here, I happened upon it a few months back. It isn't far from here but I think it will make for a larger home then here. It is more secure as well, nearly sealed off unless you know where to look, easily passed because I know you all had passed it before."

They all looked at the area. "It's right where da Purple Dragon's territory borders de Shredder's." Raph added.

"Dude's Murikami's isn't too far from there...and look how close the junk yard is, and April's place." Mikey pointed to them on the map, showing where each was marked off. They had put a heart sticker for April and a happy sushi sticker for Murakami's.

"Raphael, you and Slash go take a look at the place. It may be a good hide out if this place was ever compromised." Leo could see the two were getting along, though he wasn't overly fond of Slash, he had no choice but to follow his gut on this. "Take pictures with your T phone and send them back to us." He looked to the large tortoise. "Does anyone else know about this place?" He was confident with the shake of the other's head. "Good. If I feel it is secure we can look into it. For now, I think it best we try to help Donatello as best we can. Be mindful of things you do and say as not to trigger him again." He could see the pleased look their father held, knowing that he was doing everything exceptionally well, just as he had taught him.

~LRDM~

Casey scanned through the list of books he had written down on the paper. April was looking over the ones about parenting, motherhood and what not. He was looking for depression and PTSD books. He was able to find them after a while and met up with April. "Do you really think these will help? I mean...no one is really medically capable but Donnie..." He was worried they would try to help and do more harm than good.

"I honestly have no idea. All I can say is Leo is right, it's better to know what to know what you are up against." She shifted the many books she had, even having gotten ones that Donnie had been asking for. Since his leg was broken, maybe he could spend the time reading.

When it was their turn, they set the books down before the librarian who looked at the titles of the books and back down at them. "A little young arent we to be reading about such things?" she raised her brow, refusing to check them out. "I think you should talk to your parents about such things."

"Hey!" April didn't like the glare she was getting from the woman. "It's not like that!" yet before she could finish Casey spoke up.

"Listen lady, this is a public library and since when are we judged for what we want to check out? For your information she is helping me with my elective in home economics, I am gonna get that robo baby next week and I wanted to get a jump start on it. The PTSD is for a history class about 'Nam, if you don't want me learning about all that, fine MRS...Hinkleberg, I'll be sure to tell my public school system about how you denied me the learning opportunity that all us Americans have a right to. In fact instead of just sitting there like a freaking bump on a log, why not write a note to my teachers and Ms. Jones."

The nosy woman said nothing and rang up the book. "Carry on with your education young man." She scuffed and even threw in a tote bag to carry the books.

April laughed as they walked out. "Wow! That was so impressive! I cant believe she bought it!"

Casey just smiled. Happy to hear her laughter. "I'm just tired of people being nosey and sticken it where it don't belong. It's bullshit." He took the bags from April. "Come on, just gotta stop at the store to get what we need, should we get pizza too?" he shifted his load.

"Yeah. If we take dinner off their hands im sure they will be very greatful." She figured they could get Donnie's favorite again, seeing as he was home. She was sure they would agree and not mind it much. "I'm going to talk to him when we get back. I have so much to tell him...and thank him for!"

"Red..." he started, wanting to tell her that she shouldn't get her hopes up because...it will only hurt her in the end. Yet when he saw her face he couldn't help but sigh. "Be sure to bring a slice of pizza with you, make sure he eats it."

~LRDM~

He stayed silent, even as they prodded him. His head was lowered, eyes still glazed with tears, not for what he had done to himself, not for the pain in his body but because of the look he now seen on Mikey's face. His younger brother had kissed him for the first time and he had reacted like that. Acting as if he had hurt him. He couldn't imagine what went through his baby brother's mind as he watched him descend into the dark recesses of his own thoughts.

Mikey was silently sitting by the door, listening as their elder brothers and Father spoke to him. Trying to know what had triggered him, obviously Mikey didn't want them to know about the kiss and so Donnie said nothing either. He just wanted to be left alone, to get back to work. Work occupied his hands and his thoughts, the endless work had helped him cope with so much stress and sorrow in their lives. It helped him to get the work done that had time and again saved their lives.

"Donnie...please you have to talk to us. You have to tell us what happened so we can try to prevent it." Leo squeezed his hand, hoping to help him understand he was not alone.

"My son if you do not wish to talk to us all then talk to at least one of us. Keeping your emotions bottled up will not help you to heal. It will only cause you more suffering." He could see the pain in his eyes. How everything had cause him such harm and damaged his psyche. This isn't what he wanted, he needed him to open up, his poor son was on a path of self destruction.

He hugged himself, moving his hand from his elder brother. The mask had been removed from him, he felt so bare and vulnerable without it, naked even before his brothers. He wasn't handling this well, not the way they had hoped and he was sure he was disappointing them and their father but he could not help it. He wanted to work. He had to work. As long as he was there Shredder would find him. He had so much to do. So little time to finish.

The lack of response from Donnie made Raph curl his hands into tight fists. He hated seeing him like that, so helpless. Donnie was always the one with answers. Even Fearless would turn to him when he was unsure of things, where to go and how to proceed . Yet now all he wanted to do was turn to Donnie for answers, but he wasn't going to tell them. He was so far out of it he wasn't even allowing himself to be touched by them. Even their father's touch he politely avoided with a small dodge, enough to get the message across. It wasn't Slash's fault. Donnie had said that much before. That it was Newtralizer who had placed him in the cage with him. Still he could sense their father's anger toward the large mutant.

They waited for a reply, anything that Donnie would give them but each felt their breath held for nothing. The silent turtle remained just that. Still, silent, lost in his own mind and thoughts. He didn't speak up. Not for a long moment until they heard it shattered by a small voice. "It's been too long..." he muttered, not looking up.

No one seemed to understand. Even Splinter was unsure but they waited for him to clarify, usually their silence provoked Donnie to be more clear with his meaning. Once again he spoke up. "...since we were all together."

They looked around, seeing everyone there, noting that he was speaking of Slash as well who was sitting just outside the lab door. Out of Donnie's view but not his senses. They didn't wish to trigger him again by the sight of the giant mutant. They all fought to choke back their emotions. Even after everything, Donnie's only thoughts were with his family. "There will be more soon..." he looked at his hands. Trying to judge if this was some weird dream or alternate reality he just needed to escape. "...more to love." More to protect.

"Ya always wanted kids." Raph said softly. Everyone knew Donnie loved children. Finding such fascination in the documents of child research that he found. How easily they were able to put things, how the world seemed so innocent in their eyes. "Ya make a great pop Don..."

"Mother..." he corrected. There was silence again. No one really knowing what to say to that. The tension grew and so Donnie decided to ease all of it. Closing his eyes, he raised his head and put on the brightest smile he could muster as the tears rolled down his cheeks. "Odd as it is...I guess wishes do come in most unexpected ways." It took all he had to open his eyes, to see his family's faces. The tension seemed less now. Given each were smiling as well. Obviously relieved that he found the silver lining to all of this. Donnie had to be the strong one. He had to seem like he knew what to do. He had to have all the answers; his family looked up to him for that. He couldn't let them down. He had to choke back his emotions, put on his mask and bury the trauma deep within himself. He couldn't allow himself to falter. He couldn't allow himself to push them away. He had to be strong. He had to be there. He had to fix this.

~LRDM~

Shredder sat on his throne watching Karai sleep in the tree. He was impatiently waiting for his recon team to come back. He had them out and about, looking into what was going on with the turtle's human friends. His last report was that they had been seen but that was a few hours ago. Bradford sat off to the side of the hall, licking his wounds while Xever was swimming in the water below them. Stockman was off prepping the labs for their guest.

The doors to the hall opened, the recon team entered and bowed before him. Tigerclaw rose first, greeting him before glaring at Han, leader of the purple dragons. "We have some valuable news Lord Shredder." The tiger mutant walked forward, holding out a stack of photos to him, each holding images of red headed girl, the hockey kid and the girl's father. Most were unimportant. What struck him as odd were the catalog and the images from within the library.

"It would seem something big has happened. We are not entirely sure but, we believe the girl may be pregnant..." he was cut off.

"And this concerns me how?" Shredder narrowed his eyes at his subordinates. He had little care for the girl if she had a desire to increase the teen pregnancy rate. It had nothing to do with acquiring Donatello.

Han spoke up. "Well it does. It seems that there is something between the girl and Donatello. What we arent sure fully, he is quite protective of her during run ins with my gang. It is possible that if she were pregnant then it is a high possibility that it is with the turtle..."

Shredder rose from his throne, slowly making his way down to them. "My Foot clan had disproved this." He turned to Bradford. "You told me she was with the human kid." If he had lied about it he would pay.

"She is." He stood up and showed the image of them kissing a few days ago. "The kid has to be his." He glared at Han who backed off.

Shredder looked at the images. Trying to piece things together. The amount of bandages bought at the store lead to one thing. "Donatello was hurt during the fall." He let out a growl and balled up the photo. "He is with his brothers and this will make things all the more difficult." There was no doubt now he had to proceed with caution. Though he controlled the Foot Clan and the Purple Dragons, he needed more to ensure that the sheer number would over whelm the turtles. Perhaps he could persuade the Kraang in exchange for the false hope of obtaining Donatello for their own purposes. He was sure something could be arranged.

"GO!" he snapped at them. "I want you keeping an eye on these two. Track them if you must!" he looked down at the pictures of the books. Where did all of this connect and how? He moved back to the throne, staring at his daughter who was now awakened by his shout. A low growl left him. What was he missing?

~LRDM~

"Hey we're back!" April shouted into the lair as she passed through the turnstiles. She looked toward the lab, seeing Slash sitting down in front of the door with his head down. For a moment she thought maybe Sprinter had made good on his word. Yet after a moment his head raised she turned to look away. Clearly the others were in the lab having a family moment, that was when she was able to see just a small portion of Donnie's face. A glimpse of how injured he was.

She wanted to go to him. To talk to him and tell him how incredibly sorry she was for everything. Yet, she bit her tongue for now. His family was there, speaking with him. Laughing even. Donnie was too, much to her surprise. The strength he had never ceased to her. That after everything...he could still smile and laugh. Had it been her, she doubted she would want to be near anyone so soon.

Casey could see her longing, wanting to go talk to him since they found him again but he was the one who advised for her to stay back if he was with his family. That it was better to give them all space. He could see as well as her that Donnie was smiling, perhaps she was upset it wasn't her who made him smile like that. He wasn't sure, but he could see how even Raph's eyes shown with a loving glint when he was looking at Donnie.

"PIZZA!" the quite was interrupted once Mikey caught the scent. He stood up, spoke with Donnie a moment before said turtle shook his head. The smaller turtle sighed before Donnie spoke again and Mikey ran off. "Put my pizza to the side! Donnie wants soup!" he pushed bounced past them, looking at their soup stock and recalled Donnie like Miso. "LEO!" they youngest yelled at the top of his lungs. "DID YOU EAT ALL THE TOFU?!" he glared at the eldest who peeked out of the Lab.

"Check behind the milk Mikey, I know its there." He turned back to those in the room.

Splinter was the next to leave, walking out slowly before turning to April. "April, I have a small request of you." He walked to her and set in her hand some paper. "If you could bring these at your earliest convince, I would be most greatful." He smiled to her and bowed his head. It wasn't often he asked he to get thing for him, but she was happy enough to do so.

Raph stayed in the room to talk with Donnie as Leo left, following their father. He seemed off to her, as if deeply troubled. She was sure it was related to his brother and everything that was going on. Yet, as he left, she was able to see Donnie just as their eyes had meet. His eyes were wide but a moment, he scanned her up and down, ensuring without a doubt she had not been hurt in his absence. She smiled and waved at him. His eyes looked to her as they always had, with nothing but kindness as he shyly waved back. Why did she feel this way? Why now did she look to him and feel like she did when she looked to Casey? Raph must had said something because he turned away to talk to him.

She turned away as well, unsure about the thoughts and emotions in her own head. Donnie didn't look like himself. He looked so...Different. So Small. He seemed to glow now, as crazy as it seemed, she had heard such at her aunt's baby shower, how each of the women there said she was glowing, perhaps because it was the baby but...she could swear she was starting to see what his brothers were talking about.

Leo walked over to her. His mind clearly lost in thought as he spoke lowly. "Do you have the book?" he asked, not even making much eye contact with her. She nodded and pulled it from her bag.

"It's a few years old, I wish I could have gotten to the newer ones but they were all checked out." She sighed softly, looking down at the title and the big letters PTSD. A large part of her wishing that he didn't have it. Yet given what happened this morning she was sure he had. She was taken back by the formality given by Leo, having bowed his head when he received the book. Something was off about him though she could not place it. Perhaps just an over whelming concern for his younger brother. She watched as he moved to the table and began to read the book.

"Hey guys..." she spoke up and got all of their attention, careful not to be too loud where Donnie could hear. "So...I spoke with my dad and he said yes...so..." she pulled out the catalog and set it down infront of them, handing each a colored marker. "I want to let you all pick something for the baby, I want to get Donnie new things instead of allowing him to build stuff from garbage. We can have like as small baby shower...and each of you can offer a gift." She smiled at them but they all looked at each other.

"While we thank you for this April, we have no money to repay you..." Splinter was cut off.

"My dad isn't asking to be repaid. It is because of Donnie we are even together. Because of him that even have the money we do, because he kept adding money to the account when my dad was missing." She smiled. "We owe a lot to Donnie, our lives even and even in this small way...maybe we can show him how much we appreciate it."

Mikey took the book, flipping through it til he found something he really liked. "Yo! Donnie would adore this!" he circled it with his orange marker. "And this!" He flipped through the book circling things he thought his brother would like.

Splinter took the book from him and sighed. "Michelangelo, you are not spending your money, be considerate and select one item." He wasn't going to refuse his son this much at least. April was excited and willing, he would accept their offer. He handed the book back to his son and bowed to April. "I can not say how greatful I am to you and your father for this. I also humbly ask instead of an item in that book if I may ask you to acquire these." He handed her a piece of paper and closed it in her hand.

April was unsure what to do. She had never been asked by Splinter for anything before. She was curious what was written on the paper but could see the look in his eyes that she was meant to look it over much later. She bowed her head and smiled politely at him. "Hai." She saw the smile on his face as he took some of the pizza and made his way to his room. She shoved the paper in her pocket and turned to see the book had made its way to Leo. She could see the orange circle with arrows on the page, clearly Mikey had mode his choice.

April had circled what she wanted to give. She couldn't be more excited about it. Throwing a surprise baby shower for Donnie was going to be fun, difficult but fun none the less. She turned arount to look at Donnie only to nearly bump into Slash. He looked down at her and over to the book Leo was looking through. He said nothing and moved to grab some water. While he had been so cruel to her yesterday. She couldn't help but feel for him. Everyone else seemed to be tense around him but over all accepting.

Sighing, she moved to him and offered the back marker. "Here. It wouldn't look right if the Father didn't have something to give."

He looked down at her. "I gave him the kid." He muttered. Watching her face warp into a look of disgust made him smirk. "Relax, it was a joke." Slash rolled his eyes and looked down at the marker. "I just don't need anything for you, I can get him a gift on my own."

"Something from the junkyard? Or do you plan to steal something?" she crossed her arms. "I know you don't like me, fine whatever, but it isn't about us. It's about Donnie and the baby and right now they need our support and not this petty shit going on right now."

He scuffed. "Donatello doesn't like hearing you cuss. Makes you seem less lady like." He smirked again but held out his hand. "Fine, if it will get you off my shell."

Oh she wanted very much to throw the pen at his beak but she didn't. She needed to be civil to the bastard to ensure that he at least try. Given everything that was going on he could be a little more considerate to those around him. Those who were trying at least.

Casey had been close by, should Slash try anything he would easily push April back and stand between them. He wasn't a fool to think she couldn't defend herself, he knew she could but he wasn't going to stand by and do nothing. It wasn't in him to. It was reflex at this point. Given how often his dad came home drunk out of his mind, how he often had to go to his sister's room to protect her. He could take a beating, but he wasn't going to let them.

Mikey took the Miso and ran into the lab. A few moments later Raph came out, rubbing the back of his neck. "Man...I don't know how that damn turtle has so much fuck'en energy." He looked at the book in Leo's hands, before he could ask, Casey filled him in. "Oh, I like dat idea. SO we can pick anything?" he asked as he was handed a red marker.

"With in reason. We arent made of money." She walked over to him.

"So ask'en for a Tesla is out of da question?" he gave a playful smirk.

She rolled her eyes. "I think I could do that but I'll have to sell my palace to afford it." Raph snorted as he sat across from Leo.

The red banded turtle took the catalog once Leo made his choice. "So did Mikey talk ta yous?" he knew if Mikey had Leo would know exactly what he meant. He was curious to his position on this. What would the Fearless leader think of all of them in a relationship?

The leader in blue sighed and picked up the book on PTSD. "I already gave him my answer." He didn't want to talk about it right now. Given what Splinter had said earlier it was best to try and solve this on his own. Surely there was a way he could convince their father that this was not the right way.

"He didn't tell me. So I am safe ta assume da answer was a no." He frowned. Why was Leo the only hold out. Was it that he still had the stick up his ass? Or was it he wanted all or none of their brother.

Gray eyes looked at him. "We can talk about it later." He was firm on this. Not wanting to get into it right now with him. There was still so much to do and he didn't want to force this marriage on Donnie. He loved him yes, wanted to do all he could for him and his child even though it wasn't his but...this wasn't the way. Marriage didn't seem right. Not like this. "Trust me on this Raphael." A warning, he wasn't in the mood.

"Fine, later then. We all meet in da sewer 'n talk all civil like." He flipped through the book, seeing what each of them were wanting to gift Donnie before going through to try to one up them all. Donnie deserved the world but this...this was a good start.

"Dee! I am so so so so so so so sorry bro!" Mikey set the bowl down on the table and held his brother's hand. "I didn't know that was gonna happen, I know it was stupid to do that so soon after...everything but Donnie...I...I don't want to see that look on your face again!" he let the tears flow freely. His hands holding onto Donnie's for dear life. "Im so so so so so so so sorry, like a million times over Dee!"

Donnie strained to smile, wanting to remove his hand from his brother's hold. He just didn't fell like being touched. "It's okay Mikey, really it wasn't your fault." He tried to sooth his brother. It must have hurt him to think he reacted so poorly to that kiss. What kind of thoughts had gone through Mikey's head after seeing that? "Shhhh, it's fine really Mikey, Don't worry about it." He gently pat his shell, trying to get his baby brother to stop crying.

"Im a horrible brother." Mikey's voice was all too serious.

Don's eyes narrowed in sorrow. "You are not." He squeezed his brother's hand and pulled him close. "Don't say that Mikey, Please don't ever say or believe that. What happened earlier had nothing to do with you. When you kissed me it was m mind that wandered, over thinking things and caused myself to..." he held him tighter. "Mikey you are a good turtle, a wonderful brother and a great friend. Please don't talk so poorly about yourself." He was sure his brother could hear the pain in his voice. He didn't want that, not from Mikey...not from his baby brother.

It didn't take long for Mikey to bounce back to his cheerful self. Having Donnie there to tell him it wasn't his fault reassured him he had indeed done nothing wrong. It was just a kiss. "Okay Dee, I'll try." He wiped at his eyes and moved to get the soup. "Your favorite, miso. Even chopped the tofu a bit bigger the way you like it." He smiled brightly as he watched Donnie take the bowl. "Dude...when was the last time you ate?"

He could see why Mikey had asked. Donnie looked so thin, so frail. Mostly because while kept with Newtralizer all he was given to eat was a small serving of vegetables. It was meant to keep him weak, less likey to escape. Though since then...he had not eaten a thing. He had no concept of time now, he didn't even know what day of the year it was. "I don't remember." He said honestly. He took the spoon and sipped at the broth. Knowing he needed to get something in his system if he was going to take the child to term.

"Eat up bro. You're eating for two now and there is pleanty more where that came from." He smiled sweetly as he watch his brother eat the specially made soup. "How is it?" he asked, wanting to know if there was something more he could do to make it better.

He slowly chewed the tofu, grateful that it was soft enough for him to digest and not strain his tummy. "Delicious as ever Mikey, thank you." Yet it didn't pass him that he was now being watched closer then before. When everyone else left, Raph was there, when Mikey came, Raph had left and he was sure someone else would take Mikey's place. So now he would have a loss of privacy on top of everything else.

Yet his mind wandered to April. He had not expected to see her so soon and it only made him hope that she wasn't there for either of his...episodes? Even after the past few months, he still felt his heart beat quicken when he saw her. No matter what, he still loved her so dearly, even if she did not love him, seeing her happy made him happy as well. It was all that mattered to him. That she was safe and happy. What did she think of him now?


	30. Everything He Ever Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains acts of Non consensual sex, aka non-con

If the symptoms started after the child or youth experienced or witnessed a traumatic event, and if the symptoms don't go away, they might have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The symptoms can start right after the trauma or months or even years after.

There are four different types of post-traumatic stress reactions. To be diagnosed with PTSD, the child or youth should have at least one symptom from each of these four types.

1\. The child or youth may re-live the trauma in their minds. They may:

have upsetting and disturbing memories, 'pictures' and thoughts stuck in their minds about what happened

act out parts of the event during play

have frightening dreams

act out the traumatic event or feel like it's happening right now

be very upset or have physical reactions when seeing or hearing reminders of the trauma (a siren, photo of a family member, door slamming, bedroom)

2\. The child or youth may avoid things that remind them of the trauma. They may:

stay away from things associated with the trauma (clothing, dogs, if trauma was a dog attack)

avoid thoughts, feelings or conversation associated with the trauma

3\. The child or youth may experience changes in thoughts and feelings as a result of the trauma. They may:

forget parts of the trauma or be confused about when things happened

think more negatively about themselves, others and the world

blame themselves or others for the event

feel negative emotions (anger, fear, horror, etc.) that wont' go away

lose interest in things they used to enjoy (quit sports team or dance class, no longer want to swim or play with friends)

show little emotion after a trauma or not want to be around people

not be able to feel positive emotions (pleasure, satisfaction, etc.)

4\. The child or youth may seem extremely alert and "on guard". They may:

have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep

have a hard time concentrating or completing tasks

often be on "guard" or look for signs of danger

feel jittery or nervous, or easily startled; jump at sounds or possible threats (telephone ringing, a dog barking)

do things that are reckless and dangerous

become angry easily

Teenagers young adults

afraid to be separated from caregivers (clingy, resists being alone, tries to be near)

loss of trust (mistrusts caregiver)

negative view of the world (thinks world is dangerous)

very irritable, angry outbursts

impulsive behavior (substance use, self-harm)

defiant, aggressive

risky behavior including intentional self-injury, alcohol and drug use and unprotected sexual behavior

mood changes, seem unhappy or depressed

loss of appetite

loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy

body complaints (stomach aches, headaches, aches and pains)

repeated thoughts of death, dying, killing themselves

Leo set the book down, unable to handle what he was reading. The possibility of Donnie going through this…that his kind and gentle brother could…that he may…his hands trembled. There was so much to unload just by that he couldn't even begin to unpack all of that.

Would Donnie ever distrust them? Even after everything, he never gave a moment where they felt he distrusted them. To know that this was possible to happen for years to come, that he may act out in ways they were going to have to watch closely. What kind of hell would his brother be in for the rest of his life. Yet, would Donnie go as far as to try and hurt himself or resort to destructive behavior?

He swallowed hard as he looked up. Seeing Raph and Slash talking. They seemed to be on good terms, even though he did what he did it would seem Raph was quick to forgive. Though, he looked to Donnie, watching him eat the soup and look to them. A gentle smile on his face. Perhaps it was his plan to do this, maybe it was their way to make things easier on Donnie. He wasn't sure but he couldn't be concerned with them, not when they had to care for Donnie.

Leo is the eldest. Leo is the most skilled. Leo is the leader. Leo is the heir.

He stood up, taking the book before moving to Raph and Slash. "Get Mikey. We have a lot to talk about." His eyes shown a dark gray, a look that meant he was giving an order. "We can scout the area you spoke of together." It would give them a good reason to talk. For them to perhaps help come to a resolution on how to stop the marriage their father was so hell bent on having. He was sure that their father was going to want him to propose to their genius brother. He lowered his head and turned from his other brother. The last thing he wanted was to trap his brother.

Raph was taken back by Leo. "Fearless…" he moved toward him but Leo walked off toward his room. "Five minutes. I want Mikey ready." He heard more orders and it pissed him off. "Then who the hell will watch Donnie?"

Leo glared back. "April and Casey are here. I'm sure they can handle that." He continued to his room. What was to come would be hard for him. Given how much he wanted to have Donnie as his own, to have his hand and be accepted by their father, to have children…It was all he ever wanted and more. Yet, he didn't want it this way.

He always imagined himself winning Donnie's favor, more so when Raph and Mikey showed their interest. He wanted those eyes to look at him the way they looked at April. The human girl was so foolish, not to see what she had. He had him. Her eyes turned from those who saw her as everything. He wanted that kind voice to speak only his name. He wanted those gentle hands to hold only him. He wanted that smile…that dorkily cute gap tooth smile to be his and his alone.

He balled his fists. Though it wasn't going to work. He couldn't have him for his own. Not when he was already carrying the child of a rapest. That child…it would only serve to be a contestant reminder, of what had happened. The child could be his greatest trigger.

If that were the case then it would not be best for Donnie to be around the child for fear of hurting himself and/or the child. Yet, who would be the one to take the hatchling from him if it proves to be too much? They couldn't leave Slash alone with their niece or nephew, even if he was the biological father. Raph he didn't see handing a baby very well. Mikey was a bit too immature. Their father was to old and Leatherhead…he might eat it. The only real way was for him to care for the child if it grew to be too much for his brother. Only again confirming that he was the best choice for the other.

He wanted Donnie. Not because Donnie was told to, but because he wanted to be with him. He knew their father had not made the decision lightly but…still was this the only way to bring balance to their family? To ensure that Donnie and the child were well taken care of? Would Donnie accept their children? Or would he see him in the same light as Slash?

Leo balled his fist and slammed it against his wall. No…Not like this. He would work hard and woo his brother before he proposed. He would treat him far better than any had been treated before and he would love him, cherish him and the child he carried no matter what. Donnie would not do things so foolish as what the pages in the book said. He wasn't like that. Donnie was smarter than that, smarter than most.

Mikey whined as he was dragged out of the room. Pissed that he wasn't able to talk more with Donnie like he had been promised. Yet it was Donnie who made the promise and Leo who pulled him away. Stupid Leo and his fucking fearless leader bullshit. Maybe he'll find some dog shit in the streets, cut a hole in his mattress and sew it up. His fucking room would smell for weeks. That made him smile despite standing so close to Slash. He hated him most. After nearly trying to kill him, again and even raping Donnie infront of him. He had a lot of fucking choice words for him, but Donnie made him promise to be good. That Spike, why the hell was he even calling that bastard that, had no control over himself. That things were not as they seemed and nothing was clear cut. Like fuck it wasn't. Bastard tried to kill him and Donnie spread his legs to stop him. Pretty fucking clear cut to him. But of course Mikey did as Mikey does, smile and agree with Donnie because, as much as he hated it, Donnie was right almost all the time.

He could only wonder what stick crawled up Leo's pompous ass this time to change plans he had approved by Splinter. Something to do with Donnie no doubt and he was sure they would find out about it. Leo and Splinter always spoke on things well before they happened. Hence why he was dubbed Splinter Jr by Raph. Hell half the time they don't even include Donnie in their meetings and he is the second in command. If something ever happened to Leo, would Donnie become the heir? Or would that fall to Raph because he was the eldest and biologically male? Yet, Donnie is still his second…right? Wouldn't it go to him? He scratched his head, the family dynamics were so fucked as of late.

"What's going on?" April asked as she noticed them standing at the bottom of the stairs. It seemed they were waiting on Leo to come down and was surprised that Slash was there as well.

"Don't know. Fearless wanted us down here waiting for his royal ass. He wants ta talk about some shit er another. Ya know, flex'en his do as I fucking say nonsense." Raph crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Apparently it's mandatory fer us four, no doubt concern'en Donnie boy."

"O…kay." She looked them over. This was her chance to talk to him. With his brother's gone she can have a bit of alone time with Donnie. "Well have fun." She moved toward Casey who was laying on the couch. He was tired because he hadn't slept well last night all things considered. "Just rest, they will be leaving soon."

"What about Donnie?" he asked, yawning as he looked up at her from half lidded eyes. "Are you sure it's a good idea?" he wasn't convinced it was. Raph had told him after they left Donnie went downhill again, this time worse than that morning.

She stroked his hair and nodded. "It will be fine. I don't know what you're so worried about." She was sure some part of him felt he may yet lose her to the turtle. There were times he wasn't entirely sure himself if she loved him or not. April was hard to read, yet it didn't seem that way to Donnie.

Casey was too tired to argue. He had to trust her and Donnie. "I love you." He muttered softly before he let himself fall asleep on the sofa. It smelled like ass but he didn't care. He was too fucking tired to deal with something like moving.

Leo was at the bottom of the stairs. Ensuring they all grabbed their weapons and were ready just in case. Shredder was on the move, the Kraang were active and if he remembered Purple Dragons were doing their initiations this month as well. They couldn't be too careful. Not when they only just got their brother back. "Slash will lead, Raph cover rear and Mikey watch our left flank, I will cover right." He set the formation that he felt would be strong against enemies. There was so much uncertainty in their lives, it wouldn't do if another one of them went missing or worse.

He turned to April handing her the T-phone. "I know yours is broken and I don't want to bother Donatello to fix it. Use Mikey's for now."

Said orange banded turtle looked on his belt for the T-phone and frowned when it was missing. "HEY!" he crossed his arms and Leo smirked. "Baby of the family I get it!" he snapped. "Hate being the baby." No he didn't, not always. Donnie treated him better than the other two. Let him play with all their cool gadgets first…well the nonlethal ones.

"Okay, thanks. Take care you guys and send me lots of pictures. I'll keep an eye on Donnie." She watched them leave, waving good bye to them before turning to the lab. She was don't waiting. She wanted to talk to him now.

~LRDM~

Raph was of course the first to speak up. "So fearless, why ya bullshitten every one? Why are ya really drag'en our asses across da sewers for? And I know it's about Donnie boy!" he wanted answers and he wanted them now.

They continued to run through the sewers. Leo lost in thought and not really wanting to respond to them after that. He wanted to wait for them to reach this new location. The sewers were running quickly, noting that it must be raining now. Donatello loved to sit and watch the rain fall…often talking one of his brothers to going with him to collect a few samples for study. He would sit there watching the lighting flash and ramble on about the reason for this or that. Always with a pleasant smile on his face. He wondered if he would be able to do so again.

When the fearless leader didn't answer, Raph jumped in front of him and skid to a stop. "Don't fuck'en ignore me Leo! I wanna know right now what the hell this is all about!" He gave a deep glare. His emerald eyes warning him that he was not in the mood to be fucked with right now.

The leader in blue sighed heavily, keeping his eyes on formation. "We have a huge problem. I wanted to wait until we got to this secret place but sure why the heck not?" he stopped and looked at them. "Things are already decided by Master Splinter. He feels this is the only way to make things right and to ensure both the safety of Donatello and his child." He leaned against the wall of the sewer. They had made it pretty far from the lair, enough so even Donnie's cameras couldn't see or hear them.

"What's going on Leo?" Mikey was concerned. Had Splinter caught wind of what they were planning before they were able to make their case? Or did Leo blab his mouth to their father on why they shouldn't. Oh he hoped Leo wasn't about to tell them that bullshit. He wasn't about to accept that Leo telling them that HIS idea was not worth pursuing. He had put a lot of thought into it and he wanted to take the pressure off of Donnie for having to choose.

Slash was silent. Having decided to back off given their current situation he wanted to let them figure things out and he would ensure that he played into everything. After all it is his child that Donatello was carrying. He would be damned if they take him away from it. If they tried he would not hesitate to take Donatello and THEIR child far from New York, away from the brothers that dared to separate them. He was willing to give Donatello freedom to chose whom he mates, given their type of species, but it still didn't change the fact that he wanted to be a part of their lives.

"Master Splinter and I had a long talk. He reprimanded me for telling Donnie the truth. I will tell you know I do not regret it. Donnie had every right to know the truth and sadly he was unaware of his biology." He looked to Slash out of the corner of his eyes. He hated him still for what he did, but he would not voice such now. "Due to Don's beliefs it is without question that he intends to keep the child. He told me himself that the baby is innocent in all of this, though I did advise other options were available."

"Ya fucken told 'im ta have an abortion!? Let me guess if it aint yer's yous don't want it in da family?" he slammed his fist into the wall near Leo's head. The elder did not flinch. "What the fuck Leo?" Raph would never allow it. Over his dead body would he let his fucking brother lay a finger on that baby. Even if it wasn't his, it was still apart of Donnie. It was his kid, not Leo's. Donnie would never agree to it. No all he had to do was convince him to think of it like an experiment or some shit.

Slash growled deeply. Pissed and protective of not only his mate but the clutch of eggs he was carrying. "How dare you suggest that he rid himself of what WE created!" He pushed the leader against the wall, fully intent on ripping his head from his shoulders. "Does it disturb you so much that he is carrying MY clutch and not your own? Are you so high and mighty OH fearless leader, that you would dare to rid MY mate of MY young in hopes you can replace them with your own?"

Leo groaned under the weight of the hand. "I made it clear to him how I stand with this. I am looking out for his well being, physically and mentally. Donnie is still in a state of shock, he hasn't really said much about the baby. There is a whole list of other things to consider. He without a doubt has PTSD, we seen the symptoms for ourselves. We can only assume that things will get worse before they get better for him and as much as I hate to say it we may not be fully prepared to treat him. Our lack of knowledge on this is evident. Donnie of course had studied the matter before. I have copies of the files. A fail safe created by Don himself in case of such given our line of work." He thanked the gods for how prepared Donnie was for every situation.

"Leave it to Donnie to pull through." Mikey smiled brightly, though he wasn't at all pleased that Leo would even think about suggesting to their brother something like that. He wasn't going to voice his concern, not yet anyway.

Leo sighed and continued. "I spoke with Leatherhead. There is to be complications. Donnie physically looks male, his body does not seem capable carrying a child to term without the possibility of harm to himself and/or the child. This will cause strain on his body and given no one has ever dealt with a pregnancy of a mutant, there is a severe chance that the child maybe deformed, born with complications, or even still born." There was eerie silence. Clearly none of them had thought of such. "Further more, if let's just say, the child was born perfectly, we have to take Donnie's mental health into consideration. He may be trigged by the sight of the child, causing harm to himself and/or his child. We seen him throw himself off the bed and injure himself, who is to say what he would do." There were too many uncertainties. He looked at all of them. Slash slowly removed his hand. Leo could only imagine that hand pressing harshly down against a frightened and scared Donatello. Holding him down so he could…he shook the thought from his mind. Not now.

"It is why I had made the offer to him. I am sure Donatello had thought the same, knowing him. In the coming week I shall make my case to him again and we will know his answer. It is highly probable this pregnancy could result in his death." His voice cracked slightly on the word. He could see the looks on their faces. That each had not weighed this possibility, or that they had wanted to deny it all together. "Then there is the fact, Master Splinter had made the decision to arrange a marriage between him and one of us."

"What?" Mikey's small voice was all they heard. Donnie…Was their father seriously going to force him into an arranged marriage? He knew that stuff happened but that was in places far away. Not here, not in America right? People had freedom to choose and Donnie wasn't going to just sit there and let his life be dictated by their father…was he?

Slash growled softly. "And I am safe to assume he picked you." The large mutant glared down at him. "His favored son, the heir to his legacy." He moved toward Leo but the smaller turtle didn't back down. "Everything you ever wanted wrapped up in a pretty little bow by dear old daddy, right Leonardo?"

Silver eyes glared so sharply that if look could kill then surely Slash would have been. "I was not told who it was." He lied, mostly because he didn't want them to argue about it. Right now they needed to band together and not be divided. This was Donnie's life they were talking about. Not some pissing contest. "Say what you will but we have more pressing matters." He opened the bag on his side and pulled out a book. Not the bright flashy one that had the big letters PTSD, no this one had been a gift a few years back by…

"That's Donnie's!" Mikey recognized the cute little kitty eating a pizza. He had found it and ripped out the few used pages. It was his gift to his brother that Christmas. Paper was really hard to come by. "Why do you have it?"

Leo sighed softly and shook his head. "I got it when April gave me the PTSD book. I don't think she meant to and had been distracted by something else but regardless. She stole Donnie's diaries and I have no doubt she has read them." This was something truly vial in their eyes. Donnie was never one to confront his feelings and emotions in a healthy manner. Often times bottling them up or choking them back to give the illusion of happiness. He had gotten better at it over the years, but their father had started giving him books to write his thoughts down. It seemed to help him a lot but there was an unspoken rule that those books and thoughts were Donnie's and Donnie's alone. No one else had a right to them. Not them. Not Splinter. Not April.

"That Bitch!" Raph snarled. She was really starting to piss him off. Going as far as to invade Donnie's privet thoughts like that? She was a chick, weren't thing like that a god damn girl rule or something like that? Don't read my fucking Diary? "I'm really fuck'en start'en ta regret saving her." He was too, ever since Donnie stepped in and disobeyed Leo, it really started to snowball from there and not in a good fucking way either.

Mikey crossed his arms. "Knock it off Raph. What she did was rude yes, but I'm sure there is a reason. I don't remember any of us telling her about them. You cant just get mad at her. Maybe she happened across them in the lab. They aren't labeled. Maybe she thought they were his work notes." He wanted to think positive. Perhaps she didn't realize what they were.

Leo nodded. "Until we know for sure." He put it back. "Right now we have no evidence to conclude anything save that it was in her possession. It don't mean much." He had hoped what Mikey said was true. If Don knew she had them…he would be devastated. Yet he had no choice now but to confront her about it when he got back, while he also had to keep Raph from ripping her head off.

"Even so there are other matters. I do not like the idea of forcing Donatello into an arranged marriage. He is in no state to properly agree or disagree to much and such news may make him with draw further from the world, from us." He looked to each of them. "Donnie as we all know so well will not choose between us, even you." He eyes Slash. "So the only logic I can see and to keep this team together is to go with Mikey's plan." He head a Cawabunga, from said orange banded turtle before he continued. "I am not saying this is the coarse our future will take, we need to gain Donatello's acceptance, it is his life that will be changed the most."

Raph was elated that Leo had come around, though he was sure it was because the arranged marriage meant he had a chance to lose Donnie forever. No matter, he was just happy that he was willing to become part of this. "Leo…glad ta see you arent pull'en that holier than thou bullshit. Guess ya wanna get yer dick wet just as much as us."

"Do NOT speak about it that way." He shot a glare at him. "I don't want Donnie to feel forced into it. I want him to want it as much as we do and right now…I doubt he will want it. He is suffering in ways we cannot comprehend and I don't want to frighten him away from us. I agreed to this because I wanted us to become closer." He didn't want to lose them all because of this. "Now, let's see this new lair."

~LRDM~

He had been corned again in the small cell. Hands trembling as he tried to push the larger tortoise off of him. "Spike…Please…." His tears flowed so freely. A over sized hand grabbed his head so painfully as he forced him to turn and look at him. Tears streaming down his eyes as the large wet tongue lapped up the streaks of salty liquid. His breath caught in his throat as he tried again to weakly push him away.

Deep rumbling growl and his body was begging him to submit. To let nature take it's course but he wouldn't, couldn't because if he did then he knew what was going to come. Something deep within him told him to just let it happen, to give in and enjoy it but he pushed that side of him down as he brought his hand up, smacking the hand away from his face and giving him an opening to run.

His movements were slowed, even as he tried to move past him, he felt the black clawed hand grab hold of his leg and jerk back. Pulling him back and crashing up the stone floor with the back of his shell, knocking the wind from him. The other was on him a moment later, prying his leg apart despite his protests, his free hand wrapping around his thin neck, not cutting off his hair like before but to keep him still. The larger male nuzzeled his cheek with his own, cooing softly at the warm smooth skin. His body shuddered as his long thick tongue dragged alone his neck, erecting a gentle churr from his lips. This cause the black skinned male to stop. His large frame shuttering with delight at the sound he made. The first he had heard. He licked again but this time there was no sound. Looking up he saw his mate's hand on his own mouth, pressing them against his beck in an attempt to keep himself silent.

He did not approve. With his now free hand from his neck, he captured both wrists with ease, pulling them up and over his head. His mate thrashed about, kicking and crying out to be set free, but he was weak, bent to the will of the superior alpha male. Once again he licks the soft tender flesh of the neck and is rewarded with a soft churr. He could tell his mate was holding back. That he didn't want to show how much he enjoyed it. Another lick, another churr. Each making his body stir to life. He nipped and sucked at the nape of his neck, noting the fight in his mate was dying down. He looked at the marks. So red and angry against the light olive skin, but he wanted more. Far more and something more…prominent.

The alpha wanted to mark him. To let all others know that this omega was claimed. That he was his and would belong to no one else. So he licked and sucked before he bit down hard enough to draw blood from the olive skin. His mate cried out, a mixture of pain and excitement. Thrashing about to try and free himself, but he held firm with bruising force. After his mate tired and calmed himself, he pulled away to inspect his mark. His mate shivered, breaths coming in pants, warm and wet as he kept his head turned from him. Tears still flowing from his eyes. Red looked so beautiful on him, so warm and wet. So shiny, it matched his eyes. So full of fire even when he was pinned with no escape. There was a deep fire and passion to escape. That look he was getting excited him.

He licked the tender flesh he had just tore into, earning another churr. His mate's struggles do more harm then good, their shells are rubbing together. It wasn't long before his cock falls out, landing on his mate and causing him to still. He could feel his breath catch in his throat, trying to suppress whatever sound he wanted to make. The cock is large, thick, covered in bumps to scrape away opposing male's seed should his mate have been taken by another. The thought alone made him growl.

It doesn't take long before he moves his hips back, slowly pressing it against the slit in his mate. One quick thrust and he is in, his mate struggles and cries out. He could smell the iron of blood as he moves to silence the screams, sticking his tongue down his throat to keep him from attracting other males. It isn't long before he finds himself needing to move. Needing to create that sweet friction that will lead him to pure bliss. His eyes turn white, he growls possessively as he bites down again on that flesh, ensuring it would leave a permanent mark. His mate doesn't make a sound as he is slammed into, no struggle, no cries. He looked down, nuzzling him with his beak to ensure he is awake, he is. Eyes half liddled and his lips moving in a silent mutter. He releases his wrists but they do not move, much to his satisfaction.

Claws dig into his mate's hips, pulling him in deeper then ever before, his thrusts wild and needy, desperate to claim the male, to fill him with his seed. He presses his head to the nape of the neck, where the wound was, grunting with a few more wild thrusts and spills his seed within him. Coating the inside of his mate with his cum. Moving his hips lazily until he was milked dry.

Donnie's three fingers traced the mark upon his neck. He could feel the ridges, the place where each tooth had sunk into him. Claiming him. Marking him for all to see. He could not hide it and he could see his brothers gaze upon it each and every time they spoke with him. Even if they said nothing of it, the mark was still there. Donnie could feel it. The disgusting tongue that forced him to react. The teeth that penetrated him without his consent. He dug his mails into it, dragging them down and causing himself to bleed. It didn't help. He could still feel that warm and wet sensation. He could still recall how good it felt. He dug deeper, ready to scrape away the skin when he heard April's gasp.

His eyes looked to her. Not fully registering that she was standing there. Perhaps this was a sweet dream, perhaps a nightmare. He wasn't sure, not until she tried to touch him. He drew back from her, pulling his hand away just as he did his father. "Don't…look at me like that." He said softly. "Don't look at me with such pity." He hated it. He didn't want to see that look on her. Smile. He wanted her to smile. To act as if she didn't know the truth.

"Donnie…" tears swelled in her eyes as he pulled away. He never did that before, not even after she started going out with Casey. He was always so quick to gain any sort of physical contact, even if it were a simple hand on his shoulder. He always smiled when he saw her, so bright and cheerful. As if she were the very light within his darkness. She recalled that phrase in his diary. How she wished so dearly to see herself in the light he had seen her. "Donnie…"

What was she to do? What was she to say? He was hurting, physically hurting himself because of some unknown reason. It hurt her to see it, to see him so lost. She looked to his plastron, noting that he was not showing, still quite early she assumed. Yet her eyes must have lingered too long. He covered his body with the blanket and his arm, as if a feeble attempt to hide it from her.

"April…I…" he was at a loss of words and even now, after all this, after all this time and what he had been through, he still could not find the strength to look her in those big beautiful blue eyes.

It was then she knew, that she could see he still held feelings for her. He still loved her, even after he was…tears welled in her eyes. He had been so happy before. Taking it in stride. He had been the one to tell her to talk to Casey, to give him a chance and to let her heart guide her. Not long after Casey asked her out and she was never happier. Though now…now she questioned everything. She questioned how she felt for Casey, how she felt for Donnie. Seeing him there…so helpless…so broken…she yarned to touch him. To feel his gentle fingers run across her skin. For him to say her name out of sheer joy of seeing her and out of pain and sorrow.

"You don't need to say anything." She sat next to the bed, in the chair that Splinter had taken earlier. Up close like this, she could see the scars, the scratches, the new bruises that formed atop the old ones that still had yet to heal. She could see the marks on his neck and wrists, places where he had been held down and pinned and it made it all the more real. 'I saw an angel today.' His words rendered her heart filled with sympathy. How could something so horrible happen to a creature as gentle and pure as him? "I just…wanted to see you."

He wanted to touch her hand. He wanted to smile and tell her not t worry, that he was okay. Yet he didn't wish to lie to her. He wasn't okay, he was hurt, in pain and frankly, wishing she was not here to see him on the verge of another breakdown. He was able to choke back the memories. To focus on what he needed to. Enough to keep him grounded to now and not drift off to then.

She looked up at him. Looking into his eyes. Eyes that had once caused her fear because of their piercing color. "I was so worried about you…for a while I…we thought we had lost you." She corrected herself. Her hand reaching out again to touch him, he drew back. Holding his hand to his chest. Acting as if his touch would burn her if it made contact. What was he afraid of? Was he afraid he would hurt her or that she would hurt him. She hated it. Hated how afraid he was to touch her.

He could see that he was upsetting her. That he was the cause of the sorrow in her eyes. That hurt him more than his time with Spike. He needed to try what he could, to make her smile again. He had to push his own pain and sorrow deep down, choking it back as he forced himself to smile. "I'm sorry I worried all of you."

Seeing him smile brought her own smile to her face. It had been so very very long since she last seen it, months even if she thought about it. How she missed it, so much. The lair had been so lacking without him. Without the dim glow of the computer screen to pierce the darkness. Without him excitedly telling them about a new invention. She missed watching him play games with Mikey, spotting Raph as he worked out and giving him encouragements to go one more rep, and how he would sit and talk strategy with Leo over a cup of tea and coffee. The lair had been full of life, but when he had left…so did the happiness in the family. So did hers. Yet, now he was back, she was happy to have him back. "Donnie…I missed you so much. We all have and I…" she reached out her hand. 'I want to die.'

He wanted to pull away but he knew she needed it, to feel him, to touch him. To perhaps know he was really there. So he let her take his hand. It seemed to bring her more ease. Her touch made his heart flutter. To feel her again, her soft and tender hand, so small and dainty hand felt perfect in his hand. 'She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.'

April couldn't help but tear up. The feeling of him brought her back to better times, when he would drop what he was doing to be by her side. "Donnie…" she squeezed his hand and hummed. "Do you know how hard it was?" she asked, pulling his hand to her holding his hand between both of hers. She kissed his hand. "There was no happiness…only sorrow…only pain at your loss…" he turned away. "Donnie."

He turned from her. His heart raced in his chest as she kissed him. Her lips were still so soft. Her body so warm and he couldn't stand it. He couldn't look at her. Not after…why did he feel so dirty now? So tainted and impure? As if he would ruin her if they stayed too close. She was beautiful, pure in every way. He didn't want to ruin her, to taint her by touching her beauty and perfection. So afraid that she would read his mind and see into him, to see the torment that lead to his broken body.

She didn't like how he turned from her. This wasn't Donnie, not the way she remembered. She wanted her Donnie back. The Donnie that loved her, that cherished her, that written such beautiful words about her. "Donnie…" she could see the mark on him, the deep imprint that left the claim. She frowned. "Donatello…" he stiffened. She never spoke his full name. Yet she wanted him to look at her. To see her. 'I want her to look at me the way she does him.'

"April please…" this was too much. She was stirring thing inside of him. Thing he didn't want to be exposed to yet. He loved her still, he wanted her to love him back but she had Casey. By every god and goddess worshipped in the world he still loved her more then anything in this universe. He felt her hand, it cupped his face and turned it to face him. His red eyes slowly looking into her beautiful blue orbs. Her face was close, so close. He could smell her, the sweet scent that he had grown accustomed to. She was beautiful still. Even now. The look she was giving him, the very same one she gave to Casey. It made his heart pound in his chest so hard he thought it would fall out.

She felt that this was right. That she and he…it felt like it was meant to happen, like it was meant to be. Now that he was here, now perhaps she could hear the sweet words from his diary from his own kind and gentle voice. "Donatello…" she closed her eyes, leaning in. She was going to kiss him.

His heart caught in his throat. How…Why did she sound like that? So lovely, so needy? He watched as she tilt her head and closed her eyes. His body tensed, her soft breath danced across his beak. How long had he wanted this? How often had he dreamed that she would look at him this way? That she would love him? Her hand felt so warm against his cheek. Was she going to kiss him? A true kiss? Like one that he had always dreamed of in those nights where he just couldn't sleep.

~LRDM~

Mikey couldn't believe his eyes. How the shell had they missed this place?! It was twice the size of there previous lair. The center held a water fountain, a place that by the looks of it held fresh water. There were seven shops, each colored differently and one was a kitchen, perhaps a food store. It was a bit dusty, needed some work to clear our debris and it would be a hell of a place to raise little ones. He ran and climbed to the top floor, ignoring the stairs all together.

"Look at this place! Its amazing!" he ran from room to room, inspecting each one before he settled on the perfect one. "This one is mine!" he shouted, moving along shouting who would get what room until he came to the center. "This one is Donnie's! It the biggest one and he could use the room! Can you guys imagine it?! Donnie in here taking care of our kids?!" the thought brought a gentle look in his eyes. He could already see his brother holding a turtle tot in his arms, cooing softly as he checked on the eggs that had yet to hatch.

"Those are just the rooms you can see now." Slash said softly. He pointed to the left and right. "There is offices there, take down a few walls and it would be a great place for a dojo. Just off the kitchen, there is another door, one that leads to a hidden garage, I assume it was meant to take the employees to and from here without them having to purchase tickets. It is three times the size of the churrent lab he has, it also has two rooms of storage." He rattled one about this and that. Places that would be useful for what.

Raph smiled, even he was impressed by it. It was gonna take alotta work and elbow grease but he was sure that they would have a great new home. "Gotta say big guy, this place is amaz'en." He looked about only to see his friend smile. Leading to the box on the wall. Flicking a switch, the whole place lit up, showing off the chandelier. His eyes were wide, staring up at it. "Donnie is gonna love this." He commented.

Leo looked about. Moving from place to place, inspecting it all. It was fortified, secured, perfect location, a bit of Donnie security and modifications and he was sure it would make a perfect home. More room and space for them all. Their scents were even hidden because they had to dive into a pool of water and swim a bit to get to it. It was everything they could have wanted and more. Yet his body became ridged. He stood there in silence. Thinking about everything.

"Bro! Check it out!" Mikey held a few dusty stuffed toys in front of him. One was of a turtle with a pink shell, another with a blue. "Im gonna bring them back for Donnie to give to the tot! One blue for a boy and pink for a little girl!" He shook them, hearing a little rattle. "Oh my god! They are so cute!" he ran off to show Raph and Slash who looked at him with hopeful smiles.

Hope. That was all he had right now. Hope that this would be better. Hope that Donnie and his young survived. Hope that their father would see reason. Hope. He sighed and took out his T-phone, snapping pictures all around to show Donnie later. Perhaps he was over thinking this. Perhaps not.

As he took pictures his phone chimed with a text. Narrowing his eyes as he looked to see it was from April.

Guys,

I need you to come back. I cant stay here.

April

He looked to his brothers, all turned back to him and frowned. They got the same text. What had happened? Was Donnie okay? Without hesitation, they ran back to the lair. Fearful of what state their brother would be in.

Raph balled his fists, his emerald eyes narrowed darkly as he ran through the tunnels. If April fucked with his brother…if April so much as made him cry…he was gonna make sure that she never set foot in the lair again.

~LRDM~

She stared at him, her eyes wide and confused. He turned away from her. He. Turned. Away. Why? Was it something she said? Something she did? Why had he, the only who loved her so dearly, who wrote such beautiful things about her, who loved and adored her, turn away when she was finally willing to give him what he craved so desperately? Her brows furrowed as she reached to touch his face again. "Donnie…" a single touch and images flashed in her mind. Of his brothers, their confessions, the fight, the Kraang, his torture, how he escaped them, destroyed their records, of Newtralizer and a cage that held darkness.

Donnie smacked her hand away, a little rougher then he meant to. It was but a fraction of a second and she could see it all. He knew she could. He turned to her, sorrow in his eyes and a deep wounded pain she could feel radiating off of him. "It isn't right." He said softly. "These feelings, you're confused." He hugged himself. "It isn't that kind of love you feel for me April. I can tell, we both can even if you don't want to see it now…"

She stood abruptly. "Don't tell me how I should feel Donnie! I think I know my own emotions better then you do!" tears flowed from her eyes. "I felt it, all of it!" she choked on a sob. Unsure how he could sit here so calmly after everything. "I can feel your pain…I don't mean to but…"

"Only what I let slip out." He said softly. His voice calm and ever gentle when he spoke to her, even when she was aggressive, angry and intrusive. He still gave her the utmost respect. She was angry yes, she had offered him what he always wanted and he rejected it. She could only imagine what that must feel like for a woman as beautiful as her to be rejected by someone like him but. "I wont hurt Casey." He said softly. Recalling the stories of his father and Oroku Saki, their rivalry over Tang Shen that cost her life. He would never be consumed with rage like that. To blindly attack a friend for the sake of a woman. He would yield, allow her the proper choice and live in the sun.

Her face was nearly as red as her hair. Anger consuming her as she narrowed her eyes. "Oh yeah that's right! You set it up didn't you? Of course you did, Donnie always thinks of everything!" She turned from him, now hearing Casey running to the lab. "Everything is planned out, so carefully! I bet you never planned on this!" She motioned to the test results, confirming his pregnancy.

"April!" Casey glared at her. "I don't know what got you two in a fight but that was uncalled for!" that was something you would hear out of his mouth not hers. What ever happened, whatever was said hurt her. He looked to Donnie, stoic but trembling. He frowned and ushered her out of the room. "What has gotten into you?"

She turned and held him. Crying into the nape of her foolish boyfriend's neck. She had gone too far she knew she did. Even now she could feel how much that had stung him. How much that cut him deeper than any wound he had. There was no Im sorry for that.

He pet her hair, hugging her tightly so she would calm down. "Shhhh. It's okay Red. Donnie probably didn't mean what he said. He isn't…himself right now." He walked her to the couch to sit down. "It's hard I know. There is a lot that needs to be figured out now."

She pulled away, pulling out her phone to send the text. She didn't want to stay. She didn't want to be here with him. Not after that. "I just want to go home. Promise me as soon as they get here we can go home." She wiped away her tears on her sleeve and turned away. Why did he have to be like that? Why did he have to turn her away? She was the one he always told everything to, why wouldn't he open up about this?

Casey sighed and nodded. "Yeah. We can go home once his brother's come back. I just don't think it good to leave him alone. You know what Leo said and he even wrote it in the book. We need to make sure that he wont hurt himself." He frowned as he tried to calm her down. Everything had been falling downhill since Donnie got back. Not that it was his fault.

After a small moment of silence, they could hear the unmistakable clang of Metalhead's feet against concrete. Casey muttered a curse under his breath as he moved to the lab, telling April just to relax and stay put. When he got to the door he could see Donnie out of bed, leaning on his robotic creation as it helped him moved to the chair. "Donnie what are you doing?"

"I need to work. There is too much I need to look into, I need to finish running security, I'm four updates behind on Metalhead, I need to make sure I…" he groaned as he was set down in the chair. Patting his small friend on the head as it let out a few chirps. "No you didn't hurt me. I'm fine." He offered the metal turtle a smile as he brushed off some of the dust that had been on him. "Let's get you those upgrades, and then we can work on an incubator, start new logs and plans…" he turned on his laptop and muttered about how many updates he needed to run. He reached over and pulled out his sketchbook, moving past the plans and schematics of the Shellraiser, Raph's bike and the security layout. He looked down at the fresh page before turning to Metalhead. "Updates have to wait for now. Please check the inventory for things that could work for an incubator." The little bot chirped and moved to complete the task assigned to him.

Casey grumbled and moved toward him. "Don, listen I know you wanna get things done, we appreciate it an all but really dude, you are only back two days and in no…condition to work." He rubbed the back of his neck. How was he going to put this that wont upset him. "You know you don't have to, we been fine when you were gone and…"

"I'm fine Casey." His voice was slightly sharper. Showing his irritation. "I know fully well what I can handle and what I am capable of." The small robot delivered some items for his approval. "This tank will do fine, though I think we need to try and find a bigger one."

The teen's eyes got big. "Why would you need a bigger one? That think is plenty big for a baby, it's the size of a crib…"

Donnie didn't say anything, looking over the items. He set them aside and began to sketch. He had already noticed his nails growing. They had in the past few weeks. An obvious sign he had missed. He would need to write it down once his computer was done updating. There was no doubt he would have the urge to bury his eggs. "Not this one, find the newer one from the last trip." He heard the chirps. "I know the one before that then."

"Don don't ignore me, you need to get in bed before the others come back or Raph is gonna have my head…" a Sai slammed into the desk. "Fuuuuuuccck!" he turned to see a very angry turtle.

"Thought you said ya could handle it." He retrieved his sai and looked to his brother. "Donnie, I aint gonna argue, just get yer ass back in bed…."

The younger brother didn't look up. "That's it, now find the box of wires, it should be where it normally is." He looked over the heat lap that was in his hand. It wouldn't be big enough to cover it. Perhaps if he got more…maybe found a longer one.

"What are you making?" Mikey asked softly. Eyeing everything that was laid before him. "Incuberadiator? What is that?"

"Incubator, Mikey." He took the metal bar from his brother's hand. "The Trachemys scripta elegans can lay between two and thirty eggs in a single clutch and…." He turned to see his brother's face pale.

"Two and thirty…Donnie you can't expect to…" Leo wasn't so confident about this. Given how big his brother was compared to an unmutated turtle…the egg were going to be huge. If he was making an incubator, did that mean he was going to go through with it? "I mean how can you be sure there are possibly that many?" how would they care for thirty babies?

"I don't expect it to be that many. A human can have anywhere between one and eight, though it is most commonly only one. Given that I am a mixture of both it is more probable to deduce that I will have between one and eight offspring." He started to fill the fish tank with the other components.

"It don't matta anyway, this shit can wait, ya aint in no condition ta be doing shit." Raph moved to help him back to bed. Don tensed. Metalhead set the items in his hand down and ran at Raph, chirping and aiming his weapons at him, almost daring him to get closer to his creator. "What da hell?!"

Donnie smirked. "He is just protective." He said softly. "Metalhead stand down." The pregnant turtle didn't stop what he was doing. There was too much to be done. Too little time. "There isn't much time, I only have a month at best, perhaps a little longer before…"

Slash walked in, having heard everything and the possibility his mate would be carrying more than a single child. He walked over to Donatello, his yellow eyes looking him over. When he got too close, he heard the chirps of the metal contraption. He stepped forward, ignoring it to be closer to his mate, gently he nuzzled his beak against the other's. His mate having gone stiff in his presence, submitting to him. He humming softly, soothingly to him as he lowered his beak to the mark. "No matter how many, I will protect them all." He cooed. Licking the blood from his mate's neck. He could feel him shutter even as a soft churr escaped his lips.


	31. Nightmare

He didn't want this, not now and not infront of his brothers. Feeling that tongue on his neck, he couldn't help it, caught off guard he let out a soft churr. There was no denying the pleased hum that escaped the larger tortoise. Heat rose to his cheeks as his hand shot up to cover his mouth. He didn't want them to hear. To know just where to touch him to make his body betray him. There was no way to deny it, the strong smell of the alpha that claimed him over powered him, forcing him to submit to his will and desire. Broken, in pain and humiliated. This…this was far from what he wanted his brothers to see, to know.

That sound…that sweet enchanting sound that came from their brother's delicate lips. Why did it send fire through their bodies? Why did it beacon them to come and erect further such noises from him? That scent…the one that now wrapped around them like a gentle perfume, dancing and enticing them? The three brothers dared not to make a move, frozen in place, eyes locked on the very object of their desires. The single female among them, ripe and heavy with young. A beautiful, fertile female waiting to accept their seed and lay their eggs. Each swallowed hard, watching as the larger male moved those hands that dared to block the tantalizing siren song.

The smell of blood was enough to keep Leo sane. He could see it running down Donnie's neck. It would work, a perfect excuse to get between him and Slash. "Donnie…" he walked toward them, doing everything he could to keep his cool. The moment he spoke his brother's name, Slash had stopped and looked up at him. Yellow eyes narrowed darkly as a low growl sounded. He could hear his brother's small voice, reminding the large mutant of his promise. The beast closed his eyes and nuzzled the smaller male before backing off. Leo knelt beside his brother, looking at the mark on his neck and frowned. It was just as the book had said. Donnie had hurt himself, why he was not sure but it was no doubt because of the bite mark upon his skin. Had his younger brother had another episode? No Casey and April would have told him. So why then…perhaps a memory? Or was he simply trying to erase the mark?

As always his brother was silent. His cheeks were nearly are red as Raph's mask either from arousal, embarrassment or perhaps a mix of both. "You're claws have grown." He spoke softly, noting how long they were getting. While it was not uncommon for them to have to trim them, being males, he did not recall ever seeing Donnie have to do so. He always figured that he did so in his lab. "You have to be careful or trim them." He smiled and Mikey brought over the first aid kit.

"No." Was all he got from his brother.

Why he didn't want to cut his nails was a mystery but there had to be a good reason and Leo wasn't going to question it. He instead began to clean the wound, put on Neosporin and a large band-aid. "There you go, please be careful next time." He squeezed his hand and stood up. "Raph, keep an eye on Donnie as he works."

"Leo, he needs rest not…" the dark skinned turtle began to protest but he was quickly shot down. One look from Leo and he could see that he was not going to back down on his decision.

"Donnie is the only one that can make what he needs and I trust him. Just make sure he rests often and doesn't over do it. Get him what he needs, make sure he eats and drinks." He placed his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Do what you have to." The leader then motioned for everyone else to leave. He would let Donnie have his way, he will let him work and do what needs to be done. The book said if he lost interest that would be a huge red flag. Their brother was not doing well, but perhaps he was well enough to continue his preferred work. There was a chance doing what he loved would help him cope, so they would have to keep an eye on him.

Reluctantly, everyone else followed out save for Raph who leaned against the desk and twirled his sai. Recalling the sweet sound his brother made not long ago and noting how much he wished to hear it again. Needless to say it wasn't going to happen. No sooner did the others leave did his intelligent brother start back on the sketchbook. Making plans and a list of things he would need to make it possible.

There was always something amazing about watching his brother work. Almost like watching an artist make art. No, not almost. Donnie was an artist. He turned trash into such amazing things. Thing he would never dream of before. Like the patrol buggie. Even when it wasn't finished it still got the job done. There was truly a reason he was second in command, a reason that he alone was everything they needed.

"Don't stare." The small voice pulled him from his thoughts. His brother did not look up from his work. Their brother was always so self conscious, always flustered when attention was on him. Things only gotten worse since April. Only too real when he was constantly reminded of what they are. Mutants. Freaks. He could always see the hurt and pain in those red eyes of his brother. How he hated what he was and how it limited him so much.

Raph moved from the desk to sit in the chair next to the bed only after he pulled it close to his brother. "I just wanna make sure you're okay." He took his sai and began to pick his nails with it, trying to focus on that instead of his brother.

"I'm fine Raph." His voice wasn't so confident. "Metalhead, do we have any spare circuit boards?" he listened to his small creation chirp back. "Okay, bring them here. We can check them out after I upgrade you when the computer finishes. We can also test the new AI program I made for you."

"AI? Like in dat movie about them robots…IRobot?" Raph was trying to take an interest. Trying to make conversation with his brother. So often they took interest in his work unless it was needed. Unless it benefited them and their needs.

Donnie smiled. "Sort of like that. No three laws or anything like that." He looked up at his dark skinned brother. Raph had never taken interest before. While Mikey would always question him about this and that, Raph would just request things be done or ask how long before said thing was done. To see his hotheaded brother take any form of interest was nice.

Raph was excited. This meant that Donnie was responding and given the smile it means that he is at least relaxed. Good. Keep his mind off of everything else. "So what make's is so he don't get all crazy 'n try ta kill us?" he smirked, but he was serious.

"Advanced programming I took from the Kraang suits. The same reason they do not turn on the Kraang." He flipped the pencil and erased something, only to make it bigger in the sketch. "I can even lock the Kraang out so we don't have any issues like last time. So far he responds to me but I want to program him to respond to all of you as well."

"Oh yeah? We don't speak chirps Donnie boy. How are we gonna understand 'em?" a good question. Don made the thing so the chirps he could understand.

The genius stopped and turned to his brother. "One of the updates I want to do for him will give him a voice. You will be able to understand him then, even give him complex commands and he will understand." The small bot looked at him, chirping softly. "Set it with the others."

Raph was impressed. Donnie was seriously a head of everything. Even now he was planning on advancing his tiny robot to do things he only thought science fiction could. "Gotta hand it to ya. Color me impressed."

"Really? That impresses you?" he huffed. "Maybe all this time I was over thinking everything." He allowed himself to chuckle. Happy to have some form of normalcy.

~LRDM~

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Leo was going off on Slash. Ripping into him about how careless he was. How foolish and that he was not thinking of Donnie when he acted. His brother was hurting, and just earlier had reacted horrifically to the mere sight of him. He didn't care if Slash was mated to him right now. He needed to understand that his actions had consequences and that affect Donnie and the eggs.

The other said nothing and accepted the lecture. He was in the wrong and indeed did not think. He acted as instincts told him. To comfort his distressed mate. He wouldn't take it back. Not that he could, but if he could he sure as hell wouldn't. Donatello was his, until the eggs that grew inside of him were born, no other male would do anything. That he was sure of. His mate was fragile now, to attempt to mate him, would not be best for any of them.

Mikey listened, receiving the text from April and Casey that they both got home without issue. Both had left shortly after Raph threw the sai. April's face said it all, something had happened between her an Donnie. What he had no clue but it was apparent that she was distressed. He hated to see his friends upset, but was more worried about Donnie because an upset April meant and even more upset Donnie. She wasn't answering his questions, truthfully he figured she shut her phone off as all his texts weren't even read. It made him more suspicious. Perhaps Raph was right. Maybe it best that they think about keeping them apart. At least til Donnie was doing better.

"We all need to put Donnie's well being before our own wants and desires. Next time you have the urge to get physical with him in anyway, just walk away. I'm serious because next time I will cut your tongue off." He glared at him. A promise, not a threat. Donnie didn't need this.

"I didn't hear him complaining." Slash scuffed. "In fact, he sounded as if he were rather enjoying it." A ninjato was pointed at his throat. He scuffed again. "Don't get your tail in a knot fearless. If we are meant to share him, you might as well get used to the possibility of such talk. I heard far worse from each of you when you thought no one was listening."

Leo narrowed his eyes and put his sword away. He couldn't fault him for that. It was true, he proved beyond reason that he remembered exactly what was said of their brother. Now with contexts that their hormones were in a tizzy over the fact Donnie was actually a female. Needless to say, they had a lot to work through to make this work. Even if Donnie was to be given to him on a silver platter by their father, he wanted Donnie to be happy above all else. Yet, how long will that last he wondered? Will their next mating season cause his alpha male aggression to revert back to the prick he had been before? He hoped not.

"Lost in thought? Or are you worried about mating season? Perhaps more so who your father will pick of you three to wed Donatello?" Slash leaned forward. "Do you think he will ask your brother which one of you he would want? I don't think he will if it's arranged." He leaned back, toying with a small ball that had been on the counter. "You made a good call though…allowing him to work. It helps him with his stress. Helps him cope and fill his mind with other things beside what bothers him. A band-aid for sure, but it will buy time until we can work thing out."

That was unexpected. "It's if he lost interest that I should think we will worry most. Even so we have to get Leatherhead to look at him again. I want to know if Donnie will be able to deliver them safely the natural way or…" he trailed off. Would Leatherhead be able to safely to remove them by cutting him open? Though their friend was skilled when it came to medical knowledge, it was sad to say he didn't hold confidence in him to do that. Donatello was the only one he trusted to perform such, but it wasn't as if he could do so on himself.

He sighed and half mused the idea of stealing a Kraang portal to borrow another Donatello from a different universe. His brother often talked about such things. Multiverse theory if he remembered correctly. Each choice they made lead to two paths, possibly more depending and from there branched off like a tree. It was a lot to understand but maybe…just maybe if it were possible it could save their brother's life.

"Leo…" Mikey looked up at him, his voice holding a serious tone. "I don't want April to come by…at least not for a little while." He was pissed. She was not responding and Casey said she was being really mean to Donnie. Originally he thought Donnie had hurt her unintentionally with something he said but it was clear that she had been behind it. She wasn't talking to him either and he was getting upset, wanting Mikey to talk to Donnie about what was said. He had told Casey now was not the time. Donnie needed to calm down first before he brought up anything with April. "I told Casey to keep her away for a few days."

The eldest sighed and pinched his beak. "I think it for the best. They were both very upset and I don't want to cause further issues. Did Casey say anything about what happened?" Had Donnie found out she read his diaries?  
"He said she was yelling at him about always having everything planned out, you know how Donnie is, everything but his pregnancy." Mikey was visibly pissed at that. "He didn't agree with what she said. He even told her she went too far even if Donnie made her pissed off about whatever it was. She wasn't talking to him much on the away home and I really don't care. She had no reason to attack him like that and if I had know she said that…"

"I think it best none of us heard her." Slash said, his own eyes reflecting his anger at her. The girl who had what they all wanted most. Though after that, did Donatello still love her? That remained to be determined. "If she does come, it would be best not to leave them alone again. Not even with Casey." He didn't trust her so called boyfriend. He was sure if it came down to it, the boy would side with her, even if she was in the wrong.

He nodded. "I'll be sure of that." Leo agreed even though that meant they would run low on many of their supplies if they lost April's support. Even so, Donnie was their top priority, not if they had enough food stocked. Perhaps they could ask Murikami for help. Even if he did not wish to trouble the poor old blind chef, he needed to ensure they got things they could not live without.

"Good." Mikey huffed, moving to the fridge to pull out Ice cream kitty. He was sure she was hungry by now. The small Neapolitan kitten mewed happily at him as he pulled her bowl out of the freezer. "Maybe we can get Donnie to make you some retromutagen after he makes the incubatoratior." He hummed happily as he set some kibble down for her.

"Incubator, Mikey." Leo corrected. "And I am sure he will get around to it. They just have to wait longer." He sighed and walked to the couch. Space Heroes was on, but he didn't feel like watching it. All he wanted to do was sit and rest. There was way too much to deal with and so little time to fix anything.

~LRDM~

April gave her dad the catalog, thanked him again and walked to her room. Inside she threw herself on her bed and began to look through her laptop on where to get what Splinter had asked of her, looking down at the paper that asked for quite a bit of white, black, purple and blue silk. It then advised for her to take such with the specified measurements to a certain address, give the woman his human name and she would know what to do. The rest was written in Japanese and the translator could not recognize his writing. She wondered if this had something to do with a Japanese tradition on babies but nothing she looked up seemed to fit. Once she found a shop that would sell the fabric she needed, she bought it and was advised she could pick it up tomorrow. Maybe then she could figure out why he was being so secretive.

Setting the laptop aside she plopped back on the bed and curled up with her pillow. Thinking back to Donnie and how she almost kissed him. How she had almost betrayed Casey. 'I wont hurt Casey.' She wasn't angry at Donnie for refusing her. She was angry that at the time he cared more for Casey's feelings then she did. It made her feel like a horrible friend and even worse girlfriend. She felt like shit even more as Mikey was texting her. What was she to tell them? That she tried to kiss Donnie? They would freak out. So she turned her phone off and hugged the pillow tighter to her chest.

Casey is an amazing person, rough around the edges, a bonehead, didn't know romance if it punched him in the face. Yet he was a loyal friend, caring and outspoken. You knew where you stood with him. He was cute in a rugged way and he put her above himself all the time.

Donnie is the kindest turtle in the world, kinder then any person she ever met. Passionate, intelligent, skilled in so many things, creative, intuitive and the list went on and on. He was quiet and reserved, hard to understand sometimes. Almost emotionally withdrawn (now more than ever). He was extremely romantic, shy, and the way he wrote things about her made her heart flutter.

Casey was human, her own kind. Donnie was…a mutant turtle. She wasn't even sure if their parts were compatible, especially since he was biologically female. Casey could give her everything she wanted. Donnie would do all he could for her within the limit of the shadows.

It was one of the main reasons she chose Casey was because he was human. Donnie was a turtle mutant. She wanted more from the world, not just the sewers of New York City. She was sure he knew that and perhaps that is why he was accepting of them. That she was happy with Casey because she could stand in the sun and feel normal.

It was cruel of her to think like this, but what more could she do? If Donnie were human…would she still have picked him over Casey?

Tears flowed freely from her eyes. She had been so cruel to Don. All he ever did was treat her with kindness and respect. Hell he never even raised his voice to her, even when she was so cruel to him. Why did he not just yell back? It would have been easier if he had.

She closed her eyes and she could see his sorrowful red eyes. She could recall the pattern on his eyes, the beautiful natural purple color that accented his skin and eyes so well. He was a beautiful turtle, she could see why his brothers were so fond of him. Even though it was her first time seeing him without his mask, she could tell he was considered the fairest of the four.

Her eyes opened as she heard her father move past her door to his room. It was all because of Donnie that she had him back. All because of his sleepless nights, skipped meals and endless pots of coffee. He did so much for her, for them, for all of New York and even the world. Putting everyone else before himself.

Donnie was a healer.

She sat up in her bed and whipped her eyes. She had to apologize to him. She had to make things right between them. If she lost them, her only friends, then she would have lost a large part of her world.

April wanted to be there for him, for his children. She wanted to see what they looked like and to watched them grow up. She wanted to be Auntie April even if Donnie stopped loving her for what she did, she wanted to be there for him.

So she promised herself she would make this right no matter the cost.

~LRDM~

"There we go buddy, just sit tight and let the updates go through." Donnie hit the upload button and ensured it was working before turning back to the sketch. He was craving coffee but knew it would not be wise while eggs developed within him. So for now he settled with lemon water.

Raph was looking over the sketch. His brow raised at how fast his little brother was able to make a blueprint in a few hours and a pile of scraps. This was the longest he had ever watched his brother work and he could clearly see how much time and effort went into planning his inventions. He had newfound respect for him. Though now it had been a few hours of him working. It was getting late and well, Donnie needed sleep. "Listen, Don I know ya wanna keep at it, but it's late and I think ya need ta sleep." He was expecting a fight, knowing his brother would want to finish this or that before he went to sleep.

"Okay." Was all he said. He was tired and frankly doubted if he was going to stay awake much longer. The painkillers they had were taking their toll and he could hardly keep himself focused. It was best he try to sleep as much as he could now. Tomorrow when Metalhead was fully functional he was going to get started on building the incubator.

That made him look up from the sketch to his maskless brother. "Really now?" he crossed his arms. "Just like that?" He didn't trust him. Not when he made such a fit about knowing his own limits. Was this what he meant? Had he already reached his limit for the night?

Donnie shrugged. "You wont take no for an answer right? Though, can I sleep in my own bed tonight? I am tired of the metal one." A simple request really.

Raph smirked. "I don't see why not. Relax Donnie boy, I'll carry yer ass up them steps myself." He bent over and scooped his brother from the chair he was in. Carrying him bridal style from the lab despite the protests that he was able to walk with a little help. "This is more fun though." He laughed as he made his way up the steps, not bothering to turn to the others that were watching them. It wasn't as if he was coping a feel of their brother's sweet ass.

"Raphie…really I can walk from here!" he held his arms around his brother's neck, fearful of falling. "Come on this isn't necessary and I don't care if you think its fun or not!" his face was as red as his brother's mask.

The darker skinned turtle kicked the door open and made his way to the bed. He set his brother down and moved to turn on the lights. "It's a little dusty. No one wanted ta mess yer shit up. Ill get Mikey ta clean it later." He pulled the covers back and helped him lay down. "Are ya gonna be alright ta sleep?"

Donnie could read what he meant. Was he going to have another night terror like he had last time he slept? He wasn't so sure. It must have been on his face because Raphie didn't seem too happy now. "I'll be fine really."

"Im gonna sleep with ya." He then moved to close the door and turned off the lights. Slowly making his way back to the bed. "Relax Donnie boy I aint gonna molest ya in yer sleep. I just want to ensure if ya do have them…what eva that was, yer don't hurt yerself." He climbed into the bed, keeping the covers between them. His brother was still, he could tell he was still worried about something. He shifted to the side, laying his head on his fist. "If yer bothered by someth'en just speak up."

There was silence for a bit before Donnie finally spoke. "What will the others think…" he didn't get a chance to finish.

"Do I fuck'en look like I give two hot shits about what any of 'em think? Really Don, I aint trying ta take advantage of ya in yer current state. Hell I'm fuck'en scared I'm gonna hurt yer broken leg. Right now all I want is ta take care of ya. So yer need ta get the idea of me bend'en ya over that desk over there out of yer head because right now I'm a fuck'en saint." He had no god damn interest in them or their thoughts nor Donnie worrying about being molested, fucked or whatever was going through his head. "Now go ta sleep before I make ya."

He tried to cover his chuckle but he couldn't. Imagining Raphie as a saint was just too funny. He could almost see his brother's smile in the dark, relieved to make him chuckle even if over something he said. Raphie was always protective of them. Donnie was happy to have him so near because he always felt safest when Raphie was near. Ever since what happened in tunnel four those years ago. He loved his brother. From his passionate side to the over protectiveness. To his crude humor and even his choice of speech. Raphie was the brother he was glad he had on his side. "Good night Raphie…"

"Night Donnie." He responded. His eyes focused on the spot in the darkness where he knew his brother was. "I love ya." He waited a bit for the returned affection but got no response. He said it again, hoping it was because he was not paying attention.

There was no response. Only the sound of soft breaths as his brother fell asleep beside him. Still he stayed in that position. Not caring as he sensed the others at the door curious what he was doing. The door wasn't locked, so when Leo opened it to peek in, Raph shot him a glare, mouthing for him to 'close the fuck'en door' and motioned to the peacefully sleeping turtle beside him. Surprisingly, Leo's eyes showed with softness. He gave a nod and closed the door, no doubt happy to see Raph had gotten Donnie to sleep without much of a fight.

~LRDM~

Splinter sat with his head bowed before the image of his wife and baby girl. His ears were pulled back, eyes lowered. His hands trembled as he recalled the nightmare.

Near identical to the one he had when his sons first faced the Shredder, yet Donatello was not there. Leonardo, Raphael and Michelangelo were all battling against the foot, each fairing well. Shredder stood atop the roofs, watching them. When his sons were victorious, the Shredder raised his hand and another henchman appeared. Shrouded in black, carrying a naginata, the dark figure moved from one son to the next.

The being was swift and calculated, using his weapon to trap both of Michelangelo's nunchuks before tossing them aside. Two steps and a strike, he as down.

Raphael was a challenge, his anger at the loss of his young brother made him sloppy. The enemy easily dodged his attacks and lead him to the high voltage box near a building, a quick dodge and Raphael was subjected to dangerous amounts of electricity.

Leonardo stood against the other. Dodging and slashing, using his skills that had indeed impressed him. He could see the anger, the rage and the pain in his heir's eyes at the loss of his brothers. Their deaths would be avenged. On his sword, the trails of a purple bandana, all that they had left of Donatello, stained with blood. Leonardo was able to pin him back against the wall, eyes narrowed as his blade came up, knocking the helmet from his enemy. Time seemed to stop, before them was the very brother they thought had died. "Donnie?" Leonardo's voice broke as he spoke the name. That moment of hesitation was all he need, the Naginata blade struck true killing his eldest in a spray of blood.

Splinter cried out for his son's. For their fates. Red eyes turned to face him, filled with such hatred and rage, half his face splattered in Leonardo's blood. For just a moment…he looked just like Oroku Saki.

"Those who care the least…once had cared the most." He spoke softly. Looking up at the image of his wife and daughter. Beside them the image of him and his sons, his youngest made a face, his eldest had a small smile, Raphael was smirking, and Donatello's smile was soft. It looked so much like his Tang Shen. Tears filled his eyes as he turned away.

Donatello would never be like Shredder. His son was too kind and compassionate to fall down such a path. Even in his desires to woo April, he did not show his rage when she had chosen Casey. Yet, something deep down filled him with dread. Much like when Shredder first appeared and he trained his sons relentlessly.

Of all his sons, should Donatello turn on them, he would be the largest threat. All the lair security, their secrets, their biology and his research…all of it was because of his genius son. He knew everything inside and out. Fear would be his enemy.


	32. Directive

He was breathtaking.

It's all Raphael could think of as he watched his brother sleep beside him. Slowly inhaling and exhaling, watching the rise and fall of his chest. He couldn't seem to get enough of the rare sight. Of all his brothers, Donnie rarely slept and in the past few months he went missing, he wasn't sure if he slept at all.

He was peaceful when he slept. His features relaxed. The purple colored skin near his eyes almost seeming as if his eyes were half open. Raph knew better though. His brother was sleeping, dreaming peacefully as he watched over him. He wished he could keep this sight to himself. There was a majestic beauty about him when he was like this.

Their hands were laced; subconsciously Donnie had taken his hand. Perhaps a form of comfort left over from when they were tots, Raph didn't care because he was happy to be here. Happy to be so close to him. His eyes roamed to the belly. Once you were close enough you could easily see that he was getting larger. A cruel reminder that those eggs within him may take his life.

Raph shuttered. The thought of losing Donnie was one he didn't was to deal with. He as well as any of them knew that if it came down to a choice, Donnie would choose his young. Yet, would they allow it? His free hand slowly rubbed the plastron above where his belly was. Hoping to feel the little difference in it. It was there, as obvious as anything when you could feel it. A jolt of lightning shot through him, making him smile. They had all long ago forgone the thought of children, of having families of their own. Yet here was Donnie, just as always, surprising them with things they thought they would never possess.

How many nights had he dreamed of being here? Of sharing this very bed with his brother and make him scream his name? Raphie…only Donnie could use that name and live to tell about it. It was his sweet voice that gave it the best sound and gentle tone. Oh how he wished to hear it every moment of everyday. Though now he wished to hear something different. He wanted to be called something far more satisfying. Daddy. He wanted to be a father, just like his brothers. To teach their children the ways of the world just as their father had. The thought hung in his mind, his imagination running wild with the possible combinations of his and Donnie's features that would show in a turtle tot.

Donnie shifted in his sleep, Turing on his side, facing him as he moved to fetal position. The hand holding his tightened. This dragged him from his thoughts; he needed to focus on Donnie now. Tears began to form in his eyes. "No…'m sorry…" Raph cooed softly, pulling him close and hugging him, never letting his hand go. "Didn't mean to…"

"Shhhh, Donnie we know ya didn't." he stroked his cheek with the back of his hand. "Aint your fault." He narrowed his eyes. Just what exactly he was thinking of was uncertain. Needless to say, nothing he could dream about was his fault. Not like he was asking for it or anything. According to Slash, he fought him each and every time. His old pet had admitted he hurt him in order to make him submit.

"Don't…hate me…" Raph held Donnie closer. He rest his head on his brother's, feeling the sorrow radiating off him like fever. He never understood why horrible things happened to good people. If karma was supposed to be a bitch then what had Donnie does so bad to deserve this shit? It should have been him. Of all his brothers he was the one that was the most troublesome. He drank, he cursed, he smoke on occasion, he went looking for fights. Donnie never did any of that.

Whatever it was his brother was dreaming seemed to vanish the moment he held him close. Perhaps even in his sleep he knew it was Raphie that held him. Don often told him how he felt safest in his arms. That no matter what he knew that his big brother Raphie would protect him. He was right too. Raph would die for him and any of their brothers. Yet where was he when Donnie needed him most? Sitting on his ass listening to Leo drag on about this and that. He knew he should have been out there cracking Kraang brains wide open until he found him.

He sighed heavily. Would those babies survive this? Would Donnie survive this? What would happen if those kids didn't make it? He knew his gentle brother wasn't going to take such well, seeing as he was wanting to keep them. It was easy to assume he was growing attached to them all ready, even building them an incubator.

Slash and Donnie were so different. Was it even possible that they could have children? Donnie was pregnant so that meant it was, right? Slash was more animal then mutant, 25% human if he recalled what Splinter read off his file. Donnie said that they were about 50% human…wouldn't that make their kids 75% human? He grunted, that dint seem right at all. Slash is a tortoise; Don is a turtle, were they compatible enough? Like a horse and donkey? A lion and tiger? Even if they couldn't with basic tortoise and turtles was it possible the mutagen altered that when combining with human DNA? What about the fact that Donnie said some of his own DNA was mixed in with Slash because he was the last to touch him when he took him to the room after the explosion? Did that count for anything?

His head began to hurt. There were far too many unanswered questions and he feared so deeply that they would remain as such until it was too late. He could only hope and pray to whatever gods would listen that they survived for his brother's sake.

~LRDM~

"No I'm serious! I totally fell this is the best plan for the new lair!" Mikey pouted as he showed them the crude crayon drawing of his plans. "Donnie is going to be in the center room! If we are all going to share him it is the best place to put him. It will also be where the babies will be cuz we totally know Don wont want them in a whole other room. Then we have Raph to the right and Leo to the left, the room next to Raph is yours Slash and Ill take the room next to Leo! When the babies get older Leo can move down here in this room so that the babies can take his other room next to Donnie's cuz like I said before, Donnie isn't gonna wanna be far from his babies." He moved that one aside and showed the second page. "Down here Leo can be closer to the Dojo and Donnie's new Lab, I call it Lab 2.0!" he smiled brightly at the clever name. "Here and here are guest rooms for Leatherhead, April or Casey to use. There is the garage, here is the dojo with Splinter's room in the little office thing we saw. Bathrooms and showers, kitchen." He pointed to each one and smiled. "When the tots get old enough, they can take the guest bedrooms one for boys and one for girls!"

Leo and Slash looked at each other. It was…well thought out really. Yet it was Leo who spoke up first. "Just…how many babies are you expecting Donnie to have?"

Mikey tilt his head to the side, looking as if the question was a stupid one. "A lot obviously. Donnie said our kind can have from one to thirty eggs, that is alotta babies bro!" he wrinkled his nose. "Lotta diapers too."

The larger mutant scuffed. "He said between one and eight." He corrected.

"Even so! Let's just say he has one to eight once a year for ten years, he could have…" he counted on his fingers and toes. "From ten to eighty kids." He crossed his arms.

"Where the hell are we gonna put that many?!" Leo sighed and shook his head. Even in the new larger lair it wasn't big enough for that many. Not to mention it would be hard to control all of them.

The youngest shrugged. "Don't know bro, not may forte. That would be a Donnie question."

The leader tapped his beak, thinking on it. "I think it best we limit such." He sighed softly. As much as he wanted to be a father, that many children was out of the question.

"How do we do that?" Slashed asked. There was no real way to choose the number of young the female produced. That was something controlled by her body and nature. "Birth control?"

"Something like that. I think it best if we limit his pregnancies. Like…each mating season Donnie will be with one of us. We would have him all that season supposedly when we are all most fertile. Donnie will become pregnant and we will know who the father is. We leave it to Nature to decide how many young are produced from that coupling. After we can use other options, condoms, pills, I'm sure Donnie could figure such out. Each person will have a year for their children to be welcomed to the family. Once their children are born, then that is it, no more."

"So if let's say, Donnie and I have four kids but you and him have eight…" Slash looked to Leo.

"Then you will only ever have four." Leo was firm on this. "It may not be fair but it would limit it to four to twenty-four children instead of eighty."

"And if the children do not survive?" Slash's voice was low, fearful even as if he suspected such of his young that were growing within his beloved.

Leo felt for him. Of all of them Slash was the most unpredictable variable. He wasn't even their species. "Then you are free to try again once the others have theirs." What more could he say? Even so there was relief in the larger mutant's eyes.

Slash plopped on the couch, hanging his head and thinking about his young. He had mixed feelings about Raph being in the room alone with his mate, but he had said that he would back down in favor of allowing him happiness. Donnie carried his young there was no changing that. Even if Raph mated with his beloved terrapin, he could not change the paternity of those eggs.

Heavy footsteps moved from the lab toward them. Metalhead had finished his updates and disconnected himself. Looking from each one of them he gave a few chirps. When none responded, there was a small click before he opened his mouth to speak again. "Directive."

Mikey eyed the robot for a moment before he threw a crayon at it. "Dudes! He can impersonate Donnie!"

The bot shook his small head and pointed to Leo. "Directive: Leonardo Voice Commands. Objective: Gain vocal recognition of Blue Leader." He walked toward Leo, boom mic extending from his shell. "Quote Space Heros theme song."

Leo looked down at the robotic turtle and at the others. "What the heck did Donnie set up?" he tilt his head. What in the world was going on with that thing?

Metalhead clicked again, this time playing a recording. "One of the updates I want to do for him will give him a voice." Donnie could be heard talking to someone. "You will be able to understand him then, even give him complex commands and he will understand." He looked at Leo, clicking again. "Quote Space Heros theme song."

"Dude! He wants to record your voice so he can respond to you! Like that car from the Incredibles two! Man Donnie is soooooooo cool!" Mikey shook his older brother with glee. "Do the Space Heroes theme!"

The elder brother looked at the small bot, sighed and quoted the theme. The bot clicked again, played his voice back and turned to him.

"Voice recognition complete. Please give a command."

"Stand on one leg?" the bot obeyed.

"Voice commands accepted. Test successful." He turned to Mikey. "Directive." He moved toward the giddy turtle. "Directive: Michelangelo Voice Commands. Objective: Gain vocal recognition of Party Dude."

The younger turtle's eyes watered. "He remembered my code name!" times like this he really loved his big brother.

"Quote recipe for pizza milkshakes." The boom mic was raised as the orange banded turtle rambled off the ingredients. It was played back after a click. "Voice recognition complete. Please give a command."

"Bring me a pizza~!" That earned him a glare from his elder brother but it didn't matter. The little bot made his way to the fridge, opened the door, grabbed the pizza box and made his way back to him. "Voice commands accepted. Test successful."

He turned to Slash who eyed him. His eyes flashed red for a brief moment before he turned away. He looked about the room and turned to the other two. "Directive." He stepped forward. "Directive: Raphael Voice Commands. Objective: Gain vocal recognition of Nightwatcher."

"Awww how come Raph got the cooler nickname?!" Mikey pouted, plopping on the floor in disappointment.

"Raph is in Donnie's room but…" The robot turned to head upstairs before Leo could finish. Panicked that the heavy metal would wake his sleeping brother he called out. "Voice command…ughh…stop!" Metalhead obeyed. "Come back." Once more the bot obeyed.

"Directive." He spoke again, still using Donnie's voice. "Directive: Yoshi Voice Commands. Objective: Gain vocal recognition of Rat Daddy."

"Voice command…later?" Leo wasn't fully understanding how this worked. Donnie would have to explain it when he woke up. He rubbed the back of his head and stared at the bot.

"The utterance of voice command is not necessary to give a command." Their brother's voice spoke to them from a recording. They could hear him giggling. "But I'm sure they will think it is."

"Way to go Donnie, make us all stupid." He shook his head. "Metalhead, go in the lab and wait for Donnie to come back."

"Voice command acknowledged." The robot turned and headed back to the lab.

"Man, Donnie is one scary smart turtle. I wouldn't even begin to know how the hell to do that." Mikey commented. "He even knew you'd think to say Voice command." That made him snicker. "He totally knew you dude."

Leo pinched the bridge of his nose. "It is getting too late for this bull." He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "I'm going to bed. I suggest you two do the same. Donnie is fine with Raph." He turned to Slash. "You are welcome to sleep on the couch again."

He rolled his eyes. "Thank you for the hospitality." Clearly just an extension of Donatello's wish to keep him there, if only for Raphael's sake.

The youngest yawned and held his arms out for his big brother to carry him. When he got a glare in return he frowned. "Donnie got carried to bed!"

"Donnie is pregnant and also has a broken leg." The eldest crossed his arms over his chest.

"If you want I can break your leg." Slash gave him a smirk. Moving to stand up and make good on it if the other wished.

The small turtle yelped and hopped to his feet. "Do and Donnie will be pissed! I'm his favorite brother!" he ran up the stairs and closed his door.

The tortoise chuckled and turned to lay on the couch.

~LRDM~

It was all there, everything that they had on Donatello. From pictures taken from roof tops to alley ways, even some from his trips to the junkyard. His age, height, estimated weight and list of weapons, vehicles and tools used, made and assumed to be created by him. Shredder wanted to know every detail he could about the turtle. He was often seen with the girl, the April O'Neil. Someone the Kraang wanted though not as badly as this turtle. Why though? Why was he so special that he stood out to him?

Saki narrowed his eyes, pushing papers aside. His list of knowledge far exceeded his brothers. Proficient in medical, electronically, mechanical skills. Speaks at least Japanese, English, Spanish, Portuguese and Mandarin. He looked through the packet of picture of things that were created by him and used by the turtles. From smoke egges to the large subway car they drove on the streets. Each of the items more complex and sophisticated then the last. All made from garbage while his men had access to top quality items and still lost.

He balled his fist. He had thought his greatest threat from the turtles was Leonardo. Why had this one gone without notice? He moved the packet aside and looked at the small disc. He popped it into the computer at his side allowing it to play.

The girl appeared on the screen, the turtles held down the bat like mutant and she sprayed him with some sort of orange liquid. The bat cried out and changed back into a man. "DAD!" she ran and hugged him tightly. "April…how did you?!" she pulled away and looked at him. "Donnie! He found the cure!" the video stopped there for a moment before another video played.

This one showed the turtles, Donatello and Raphael carrying the others. Kraang bots fired at them. Donatello threw down a bunch of those damnable smoke eggs and opened the sewer. Raphael went first, followed by the orange one then the Leonardo. Some words were exchanged as the sewer was closed and Donatello ran off.

He picked up reports of their activities within the last few months. Back when the purple turtle was nowhere to be seen. They were fighting among themselves, sloppy, disorganized, no new weapons reported. It seemed like losing that turtle drove a wedge within them. Interesting, why though?

"Tell me what you know Karai." He looked up at his daughter.

She hissed at him through the glass. "No more then you." She scuffed.

He shot up and walked around the table. "You lie!"

She didn't back down. She didn't fear him anymore. "Why would I tell you anything? It wasssssss you who did thisssss to me!"

"I would have ended them!" He snapped back. "If only you would have complied! I am trying to fix what they had done!"

She narrowed her eyes. "You killed my mother. Took me from my father and lied to me all my life! They are not my enemy! It isssss you! I will not betray my family! I will not betray my brothersssssss!"

He slammed his fist against the glass. "Do not sit there and tell me I mean nothing to you! Do not act like I did not give you the best childhood!" He recalled sitting in the garden with her, watching her feed the koi in the pond. Her small hands reaching toward them. Those same hands that touched his face without fear.

He recalled the festivals, her in her tiny kimono running to the stand with wonder in her eyes. He bought everything she wanted, handing the items off to the men he had accompany them. They stood on the hill and watched fireworks. Her eyes fixated on the sky, wide and so full of wonder.

"You mean nothing to me!" she snapped. Her smiling face, once so innocent now chattered by the reptiled mutant she had become.

He growled and returned to the files on his desk. "The longer it takes me to find him, the worse he will be in for. Mark my words." He glared at her, for only a moment he seen her face falter, her features dropping down in a look of worry and concern. "I will gladly tell him who he could blame for it."

She turned from him. Slithering into the tree that was there and curling into herself. She could do nothing but hope that her father and brothers were okay. That they were smart enough to keep him safe and out of the way.


	33. The Shower

He wished he could see this all the time. The part of his over protective, hot headed, vulgar, crass, tough, cool older brother. With his face resting so peacefully on his arm, snuggling him tightly with their fingers intertwined his dark skin in contrast to his own. Part of him was hanging off the small bed that was made for one. Head turned to face him as loud snores erupted from his mouth. The red mask on his face falling off slightly, having come loose sometime as he slept. He was able to see even in the dark room the bright red streaks across his eyes. The marks left from their mutation, Raph having the very color for which their species was named.

Donnie laid there, watching his brother sleep within the darkness. He looked so tired, so exhausted because of him. There was so much anger and rage in his brother's heart, but it seemed only he could see down to the softer gentler side of him. That Donnie alone could appeal to him, get through to him.

He pressed his forehead lightly to Raphie's. He was grateful he was there with him now. It made him feel safe despite his fears of what was to come. He hadn't said anything to the other, especially to Slash because what if he was wrong? He couldn't bring himself to say it out loud for fear it would come true. There just wasn't enough data and evidence to come to a proper conclusion to his theory and he was far too afraid to test this to know the conclusion.

He shifted in the bed, turning on his side and snuggling close to his brother, holding his hand tighter, grateful that Raphie was a heavy sleeper. Tears slowly ran down his cheeks, his free hand moving to cup his mouth to try and silence the soft cried that tried to escape him. Raphie made him feel safe. He made him feel like he had nothing to fear bur here and now he was consumed by the dread that filled his heart.

"I'm scared…" he said softly to his sleeping brother. His voice so low it was hardly a whisper. He clenched his jaw, lips quivering slightly as he tried to swallow the hard lump in his throat. Wave after wave of emotion hit him, each threatening to be the one that dragged him down to the point where he could no longer control himself. He couldn't let them see this. He couldn't let them know just how bad it was getting. It was his burden to bare, not theirs. He had to handle it. He alone could fix it. There was no other way about it.

An olive hand rested on his belly. Obvious now that he should have noticed it growing in size. Perhaps he did but chose to ignore it. What reason would there be for it but the fact that he was pregnant with the children of his brother's best friend? He gently rubbed his belly, wondering how many there were. If he was right, he hoped there was few. He didn't think he could handle it.

Raphie grunted, shifted position to put his leg back on the bed. He pulled Donnie close, nuzzling into his neck for the warmth. A churred softly, not intentionally as his brother rubbed against him. The red banded turtle took a deep inhale before slowly exhaling, his hot breath ghosting across the skin of his neck making him shudder. Raphie remained asleep, having pulled his brother closer to him.

The pregnant turtle nuzzled back, seeking his brother's warm skin. Though they were cold blooded, Raphie and Mikey were often closer to humans in temperature. He and Leo were on the colder side. Needless to say it was another thing he was grateful for. Yet it did so little to quell the pain that threatened to shatter his very being.

"Raphie…" he spoke with that same soft voice, his eyes looking up at the endless darkness. His head resting on his brother's as each exhaled breath passed across his skin. "It isn't possible." He clenched his jaw…the lump having returned. "I want to be wrong…I want more then anything to be wrong but…" he lowered his head, letting the pain wash over him, the fear slowly eating away at him. "We are too different…biologically…a tortoise and a turtle…" His whole body shivered and his hand tightened protectively around his belly. "…they are not compatible."

~LRDM~

Morning came all too fucking soon when the T-phone went off. Raph wanted to slam the damn thing into the wall but he knew his brother would get all pissy about it. Instead he grumbled, pulled himself from his brother and stretched. Looking down he could see the red marks under his eyes and the wet streaks that ran down his cheeks. He frowned even more when he saw his little brother weakly look up at him.

"Donnie…" he sighed and laid back down, cupping his brother's face. "What's wrong? Talk ta meh." He spoke softly, not wanting to frighten his brother. Leo said he was fragile, that any little thing could cause him to withdraw into himself. A lot of things he did was far from himself, things that scared the shit out of him. It was going to be a long hard road to travel but they all agreed they would do their best to support him.

"I'm fine…" he said softly, closing his eyes to lean into the warm touch. "Just…worried." Donnie's voice was small, hardly a whisper. It was the voice he used a lot, one that showed his troubles.

He rubbed his thumb over the tears that were falling. "Do ya need a sec? I can tell 'em ta fuck off if ya wanna take a minute ta compose yerself." The others would understand fully. There was no doubt if they saw him like this that they too would relax and give him time. If Donnie wanted to talk he would. He cant pry or force him because then Donnie wouldn't ever open up. He would only become more guarded. Leo had made that very clear to them that they needed to respect his boundries.

A small nod as those heavy red eyes closed slowly. He took a few staggered breaths before he opened them again. He wasn't looking at anything in particular, just a dark patch on the wall. He wasn't even seeing it, so lost in his thoughts that his brother let out a heavy sigh. He was frustrated at his lack of response but he knew he understood why. It took a few moments of silence before he sat up in the bed. The heavy round belly making it more difficult than it had to be.

Raph helped him. His brother was growing weaker as the eggs grew within him. It had been a few weeks now. Donnie had no more out bursts, no more episodes as they had been come to be known as. His leg was almost healed and he was able to walk on his own with little support.

Each night he would take his brother up to bed. Each night his brother asked him to stay. A pleading look ever present in his eyes. Raph found it impossible to refuse him. There was a time where the others were jealous, asking why Donnie preferred him over them to sleep with him. Raph offered to let them take him to bed, each one left without being asked. The moment he entered the room he heard the soft plea for him to stay.

"Easy Donnie, I can see ya straining yerself." He helped him to his swollen feet, a side effect of pregnancy his brother had told them. "I think Mikey will have ta giv'em a rub taday." He helped him walk to the door. Regardless of his protests, the youngest had made it his mission to keep their brother comfortable and cozy. Only the best and freshest ingredients, all healthy foods for mother and baby all found on the web and cookbooks.

The younger brother frowned. "He doesn't have to…" he muttered. Eyes looking off to the side as Raph opened the door. "I don't need special treatment." He hated the attention. They were treating him as if he were going to shatter any moment. That the simplest touch was going to cause him to go off the deep end and never come back. He was doing well enough, keeping the episodes at bay. It was becoming easier as time went on. He was even fiding himself laughing more with his brothers. He could see the relief in their eyes, but also the fear that any moment he would become despondent.

"He wants ta take care of ya da only way Mikey knows how. Be lucky he's read'en dem books. I forget sometimes how ya were able to accomplish dat." He chuckled softly, easing his brother through the doorway after him.

Donnie sighed. "It wasn't hard once I figured out he had Dyslexia. He just sees the words differently than we do. It's not all that uncommon." He rambled on about the subject. Focusing on one topic seemed to help him when he wasn't really feeling himself as of late. Only recently he noticed his brothers all to happy to listen to his ramblings on things they could hardly comprehend.

The smell of breakfast hit him like a ton of bricks. He wasn't allowed to skip meals. If he wasn't that hungry he was given some form of nutritious snack to compensate. Coffee was off limits no matter how much he craved the bitter nectar. His brothers had hid the coffee pot, coffee grounds and even the filters from him. No doubt in their father's room.

The past few weeks he had been given simple exercises. Things that would help with his pregnancy that Leo read would be good for him. While his brothers and Slash spared and fought, he was left to stretch and do simple katas. Even if he was exhausted, even if he felt pain in his muscles, he pushed through. Wanting nothing more than to show them he would not let this slow him down.

Even so he could feel them staring at him. He could see they all wanted something more from him but none of them seemed ready to talk about it. Perhaps he could initiate it. Ask them what was on their minds and get to the bottom of it. Maybe then he could get some form of normalcy in the lair again.

He could hear the heavy clacking of Metalhead causing him to roll his eyes. "Mikey, we have been over this, Metalhead is not your toy to fool around with." He feared his brother's doing something that would cause his metal assistant to need repair. Right now he was the only other one in all of NY that could help him finish the Incubator on time for the delivery.

"Dude I didn't do anything, he is acting funky on his own." Mikey set the plate of food on the table in Donnie's usual spot. "He keeps saying father wants to see you."

Well that was new. Their father had been pretty quite the past weeks. Something was weighing on his mind, no doubt about his son being pregnant. It was something they all were still trying to get used to, their father most of all. It seemed the bigger he got the more upset his father was. Meaning the more meetings with Leo he had.

Leo…

His brother was the most courteous and supportive. Always asking how he was, if he needed anything, what can he do, and the like. It seemed as if Leo was going above and beyond to ensure he did not go wanting for anything. If he had a craving, Leo would ensure he had it. Never arguing or judging him. He allowed him to work late into the nights, only standing by the doorway to the Lab with Raph, chatting away about who knows what. Those two were up to something. Yet it was after the talks with their Father that Leo seemed the most upset. As if he was disappointing Splinter. Donnie knew that face and what it meant. He wondered if Leo even knew that. While he and Raph had their therapy sessions as he worked, Leo hardly said much.

Leo sat at the table staring at the two boxes that that April delivered last night. She had said it was something Splinter had wanted. It was one of the rare timed he had seen her since that night she tried to kiss him. Things were awkward when she was there, his brothers seemed to hover around her, almost as if waiting for her to say or do something that they would not agree with. Needless to say it made her feel very unwelcome and so she stayed away for the most part.

"What are those?" he asked sitting beside his brother. He had been told that he needed to stop work a bit early today. At the urgency of his family he had agreed to do so for one day. There was still too much to do and too little time to do it.

The eldest brother looked to him, frowned and shook his head. "No clue. Sensei wanted whatever it is and I guess it's done. April wasn't sure but the lady she went to was a seamstress. Perhaps some kind of Hamato clan tradition." He shrugged. Maybe baby clothes? Not that a turtle needed clothes. Either way, it was sure to be a gift for later when they had the baby shower for Donnie. April, Casey and Mr. O'Neil were getting the last of the supplies needed. Everyone knew but Donnie. He and Raph had been devising the plan while they waited for their brother to call it a night.

"Right." Donnie didn't buy it. Whatever it was and whatever they were planning was going to come out sooner rather than later. Heck Mikey seemed ready to burst from excitement. He couldn't believe he was fidgeting so much. There was something going on, he just couldn't figure out what.

"Dee! Look at your poor feet! They're so swollen, why didn't you listen when I said to elevate them?!" Mikey ran around to his brother as he sat down, looking at his bare feet with tears in his eyes. "It has to hurt bro! I mean seriously! I am going to massage your tooties until you never wanna walk again!" He looked at the pretty purple nail polish he added to his toes. It took forever to convince his moody brother that a full pedi ended with toe polish for a job well done.

He sighed heavily. There was no arguing with any of them. No matter what he did or said they doted on him. The more he wanted them to back off the more they insisted on being near him. When one brother left the room another would enter, ensuring that he wouldn't get hurt or suffer another episode. Needless to say they were all on edge. That book Leo had read bout twenty times by now, warning that if he bottled it up it wouldn't end well. No doubt they feared he would possibly take his own life.

He would be lying if the thought had not crossed his mind again at least once a day. When he could feel his body go numb and the shadows start to whisper in his ears again. Each time it is harder to fight them, harder to resist their tempting calls. Yet, his family called louder. Their needs, their wants, their love…he was able to fight the shadows because they remained so close. Always banishing the demons.

Even more so…he touched his hand to his belly. He carried innocent lives within him. So killing himself would be to kill them and he couldn't do it. No matter how reasonable the voices made their arguments to why he should, he took one look at his belly and they were silenced. They were his. They belonged to the Hamato clan and they belonged to his family.

"Is it me or is Dee glowing more than usual today?" Mikey was on the counter holding his head up in his hands, a big loving smile on his face. "Look at you mommy! Cant wait to see them huh?" he chuckled and looked down at them. He dare not touch the belly, no one did. Slash had gotten too close once while helping and Donnie let out a deep guttural growl at him. When asked he didn't recall making it but everyone had heard it. Only thing Donnie could say was instincts. He had to protect his babies.

Slash smiled, having settled into the family again quite well. He didn't act out as much, even made things easier by helping to carry the heavier things about the lair, such as the heater and generator. Raph was is a better mood now that he had his best friend back. Slash had even assumed the topside missions in Donnie's place. It was bittersweet really. Though they all had said it was only until the eggs were born and Donnie recovered enough to return to duty. Part of him was not so sure.

Their father had been hinting at things. Mostly to Leo when he ventured outside of his room and Dojo. He seemed upset that Leo was taking so long to do something. That there was something that wasn't being told to him. Each time Leo would explain it wasn't the time whatever that meant. What were they hiding from him and why was his father so upset?

Leo smiled and nodded. "You remember that book right? The one on pregnancies? They said pregnant…turtles tend to glow." His smile as not a real one. Something weighed heavy on his mind. "Needless to say, I cant help but feel that Donnie is going to be a great mom." They used the term quite jokingly. It was meant to be endearing and Donnie said he didn't care if he was a mom. He didn't, biology dictated that he was so who was he to argue it?

Splinter made his way to the table, his eyes looking closely at Leo for a long moment before turning away to looking to his pregnant son for but a moment before looking elsewhere. His father didn't really look at him much. It hurt him but Leo explained it reminded him too much of Tang Shen. How most of the freshest memories were of her carrying Miwa. Donnie could not blame him, even if his father could not see him but his late wife. "He is glowing." Was all he said, even a small smile on his face. It made him smile as well, being acknowledged by his father was rare now. He treasured each moment.

"Preparations on the new…" Leo was cut off by Mikey retorting that it was called Lair 2.0. "Preparations on Lair 2.0 are coming along. We have most of I cleaned up and some items in the rooms like beds, desks and chairs from the junkyard. There is still things that need o be done but that would be more for Donnie's expertise." They intentionally left a few things for him, wanting him to feel he contributed to their new home.

Their father stroked his beard in approval. "Once the children are born and Donatello is well, he may go to aid you. For now he is still to remain within the lair under strict watch." It wasn't that they didn't trust him. No one knew when the babies would come. They didn't want him to be alone. "I shall meditate." With that he took his tea pot and cup to head back to the Dojo. Turning for a moment to look at Leo again, shook his head and walk off with the packages in hand.

Leo turned to the others before nodding his head. They all turned to a serious tone, looking at him from where they stood. "Donnie, we need to talk, all of us and I am afraid we can't hold off any longer." He could hear the urgency in his elder brother's voice.

He looked into all of their faces. Each one stern as the others. It made him uneasy. Did they know? Did they suspect? No they couldn't have. He had been careful, Raph was asleep he knew he was asleep. "Okay, what about?" there was an eerie silence that washed over them.

"Best we not talk here bro. Let's move to the lab, more privacy." Mikey bounced his way over, Leo stayed where he was as Raph and Slash helped him from the table.

He didn't argue their help, heck Slash was supporting most of his weight with ease. "Get da door." He heard Raph call when he saw Leo trail the group. He seemed preoccupied watching for their father. It only made Donnie all the more nervous about what was going on.

He was sat down on his work chair. Mikey was sitting on the medical bed, Slash and Raph were leaning against the wall and Leo was standing by the now locked door. His body tensed. The smell of the others was suffocating. He was alone with them, all of them and frankly it terrified him. He didn't let it show though. He remained calm as he waited for them to speak.

It was a tense few moments but soon it was Mikey who broke the silence. "Okay so Donnie, I was thinking about everything…you know…how we wanted you to chose one of us as your mate…that was before you well…got prego." He smiled, clearly he was happy about the aspect of it.

"I will not choose. I don't care what points you want to argue I wont hurt…" he was cut off by Raph patting his shoulder. He didn't care what they were going to say or do he wasn't going to pick any one brother over the other.

"Relax Donnie boy that aint why we're here. We aint gonna force ya ta pick because we all know ya wont." He smiled down at him. "Mikey came up with a good proposal, I think it best ya hear 'em out."

Donnie turned his attention back to his younger brother. "Anyway Dee, I got you! I know you are like the best brother ever so I figured instead of choosing one of us…what if you had all of us." He could see the hope in his eyes along side of the pride. Mikey knew he wasn't the smartest of them but he could see that this made him feel smart. This was his shining moment.

"Mikey makes alotta valid points there Donnie. We aint human 'n our turtle side is more in control." Raph crossed his arms above him. "We sat down 'n talked and come ta a mutual understan'en. We figured dat given ya can give us kids like we always dreamed of, we don't think it right ta let one of us keep ya to ourselves."

He looked at them. Each and every one of them had that same look of hope. That same longing in their eyes that he would agree to this. His eyes looked down as he thought to himself. Trying to make sense of what he was feeling about this. It seemed quite new to him. The prospect of them sharing him.

"We don't want to pressure you Donnie. It's a lot to take in all at once and we really wanted to talk to you sooner but…when is there a good time to bring this up?" Leo rubbed the back of his neck. "We thought about a lot of things. Any kids you have will be all of our responsibility, not just those that are biologically ours. We will help you, take care of you and help to raise the kids. We will limit your pregnancies, each mating season you can mate one of us. When we have our clutch then that will be all we have. After the kids are all born we can use birth control and other things to prevent pregnancies."

"It doesn't work like that." Donnie said softly. All eyes looked to him, he could see how worried they were that he was going to refute it. "Regardless of if I mate or not…I will carry eggs twice a year." Clearly they did not know this.

Slash moved toward him. "How can you be sure?" he asked.

"I cant, just a guess really." He rubbed his arm. "I am…a late bloomer I guess. I only just reached sexual maturity, as you can see." He motioned to his belly. "I ran tests on my blood samples…just before I was taken captive by the Kraang…my estrogen levels were increased. I was already developing the eggs in me…" their eyes bore into him. Burning with desire for him to continue and explain. "It's why I wasn't feeling myself. Why I seemed slower, more tired. If Spike had not…fertilized them…I would lay blank or dud."

"Blank?" Mikey wasn't really following.

Donnie smiled, happy that he could grasp onto something normal. "It means there wouldn't be a baby in it." There was a grunt behind him. "There is a chance that some of the eggs will be blanks."

Raph paced. "So let me get this straight. Female turtles will lay eggs regardless if a male fucks her or not?" the look on his face would be comical if not for the serious nature of the talk.

"Yes. It is the way nature is. Female humans are the same, they bleed once a month and expel their eggs." The look on their faces…perhaps that was too much information. "I will lay these eggs and after a few months will start to develop more."

There was a look of sadness in Leo's eyes. If this was what his brother had to go through…he would need the support of the others. There was no doubt that it best that they convince him to accept this relationship. No one could do this alone. "We want to try and make you happy Donnie. It isn't going to be easy but we all are willing to try. What do you say?"

He looked down again, eyes focused on his swollen belly. It didn't matter what he wanted. It would be what was best for them. They talked this out, planned it out well before they came to him. They said they didn't want to pressure him but its all he felt being locked in this room with them surrounding him. He knew they didn't mean it. That they just wanted to try and offer an alternative. One they thought benefited them all. All but him.

Shredder was still out there, the purple dragons, the Kraang…they would leave to defend the city. The weakest of them would be left to watch the children. That was him. With Shredder's current bounty on him, there was no way they would ever let him leave the safety of the lair. Splinter had said as much.

They all had their dreams and desires. Things they still wanted to do with their lives. Their proposal put Donnie in a state of near constant pregnancy, not to mention the need to care for the children that would already be there from the others. Where would he find time to work on his many projects? There was far too much dangerous stuff in the lab for Mikey to get into let alone a child. Did they not realize how much work went into raising a single child and yet he was being expected to get pregnant at least three more times after this? They expected him to bare the brunt of their desires. While they would have one bout of sex with him, he was expected to do so multiple times? Did they even work out that much? When each of they would sleep with him or did they exact him to drop everything to sleep with them? Or perhaps they desired to all fornicate at once? It made him shiver. What of his hopes? What of his dreams? He would never see the light of day again.

He closed his eyes. They all were so hopeful. They put so much thought into this. Mikey's face and look of excitement due to being the one to find a decent solution nearly broke his heart. They all wanted him to say yes, but to do that is to forfeit his own dreams and desires. A small price really to pay for the safety of his young, the benefit of multiple fathers.

He balled his fists, trying hard to choke back the raw emotions that threatened to escape him when he came the realization that he would be nothing more to them then a breeder. Passed around from one to the other to fill their needs and desires.

Doing so would mean he had to let go of his feelings for April completely. Even after the outburst and her hurtful words. He still loved her. He still cherished her. He forgave her immediately after she had said what she did. After all April was hurting to.

His eyes opened slowly. Looking at them all. So much hope in their eyes. So much pride in their solution. So much fear if he rejected. He wanted to say no to this. He should say no to this. He had every reason and every right to say no to this.

"Ya don't have ta answer now." Raph glared at the others. He bend down to kneel on one knee, taking his larger hands and cupping them over his brother's. "Just think on it Donnie boy." He gave him a soft reassuring smile. "Don't feel like ya have ta say yeh because it's what we want. It's yer life."

~LRDM~

April whipped her brow as they set the last of the boxes in the lair. "Alright, I'll decorate, Casey you set up the presents table. Dad, see if you can find Mikey to give him the box of stuff he wanted for the games."

Mikey was first to them as they left the lab. Leo was followed by Slash but Raph remain to keep Donnie distracted. "Awe boy! Look at all this cool stuff!" his eyes watered as he held up the tiny turtle charms on the end of the necklaces. "Man I cant wait to see how cute Donnie's babies are gonna be! With any luck they will all look like him!"

Slash rolled his eyes but had to agree. He did hope they took more after his mate then him. Grabbing the banner April gave him that read 'Baby Shower', he made his way to hang it in the doorway above the lab.

"I will set up the snack stand." Leo offered, taking the boxes of pastries and setting them up on the table in the kitchen. There was a cute little turtle cake, lined with green frosting. Small cup cakes each with a sugar turtle on it. He smiled down at how small the turtles were. It made him think back to the day he sat Donnie down to talk with him about the options available to him.

~LRDM~

Leo sat in the lab watching Donnie work. He missed this. Missed hearing him click clack on the keys in the way only his intelligent brother could. He looked on the monitor but couldn't begin to understand what he was working on or why he needed to do half the things he did on it. It was all very confusing to him but the look on his brother's face was all he needed to know about when it came to his work. He was serious about this, so serious that he wondered if he should even bring it up at all.

"Donatello…" he lowered his blue mask from his eyes. His brother had no need because as of late he wasn't wearing it. Slowly he turned to him. There was a look of confusion and curiosity that sparkled in his eyes.

Slowly turning he bowed his head. "Leonardo." He tilt his head to the side, waiting for the explanation of what this meeting was for.

He cleared his throat and turned away for a moment. Things like this were not easy to say or even discuss but there were far too many concerns that he was so deeply fearful of his brother's life. He couldn't lose him, not again and so such things needed to be addressed. Even if they were so difficult to talk about, especially with someone like Donnie.

A gentle hand was placed on his. He could see the cuts and scrapes on it, marring the delicate olive skin. A healer's hands, gentle and calming. It helped to relax him. "Leonardo?" he moved so his eyes meet the other's. Why did those eyes always seem so concerned and understanding?

He placed his other hand atop the olive one and took a deep breath, squeezing it as he did. "I'm concerned about the pregnancy." He let it out. Fearful as he continued. "It is unexpected and we are woefully ill prepared for it…"

He smiled. Why did Donatello always have to smile like that? So warmly and understanding. "Do you think father was prepared for us?" he asked. That was a fair point. No human would have expected that but still.

"Father did get pregnant." He knelt down getting to his brother's level. "Donatello, I know you well enough to know that you want to do what is right. That you have to go full term with them but…" his eyes narrowed in pain at the thought. "The risks are just too high."

He studied his face. Unmoving as he thought on his words. He could see in his eyes that he was trying to figure everything out before the spark of understanding hit. His body was stiff, hand shaking slightly now as he spoke in a low whisper. "You think I should abort them?" it was almost painful to hear that voice speak such cruel words.

"I am not saying that. I am just wanting you to factor in the risks. Donatello, your body looks like that of a male. You don't know if you are even physically capable of the birth, you said so yourself and the only other alternative is to open you up and no one is comfortable with that option. Leatherhead already refused to do that but he said he could…" he sighed. He moved a hand to cup his brother's cheek, thumb gently rubbing away the tears that were silently falling. "Donatello it is your body, your choice and we will respect any decision you make but we also want you to know that we care about you and love you so dearly that the thought of you not making it through this…" he pressed their foreheads together. "We will not think any less of you if you chose to."

It was quite for a long moment. There was no sound save the soft hum of the computer monitor. After what seemed like forever, the small voice shown through.

"Leonardo…" he began. "I know this is hard for you. That you had to push yourself to confront me and I respect that you only want what is best for me, that you all do. Even if they were not planned they are here now. I love you all and I love them." He pulled back. His head lowered to look at his growing belly with his hands placed upon it. He looked so breathtaking. The most beautiful sight he would ever see or ever know in a thousand life times. "I calculated all the risks. I thought it through and I know that there is a chance that this can be what drives me to my grave but…" his eyes looked up into his. Eyes so determined, so kind, so beautifully graceful and understanding. Eyes of a mother. "I cannot bring myself to do that…"

He stood up then, his own eyes filling with tears out of fear. "Donatello please…please consider that I love you! I love you so dearly that it hurts to see you in so much pain. That I cant stant to see you lie to yourself about this..You say it's okay and that you understand but is it really?! You didn't even know you were biologically female!" he couldn't stop. Fear had taken hold and as much as he wanted to stop he couldn't. "I can see how scared you are. I can see you tremble when you touch your belly." He bit his lip moving to his brother and pulling him close. Holding onto him as if he were going to disappear. "The way you look at him with fear in your eyes…you don't love him. He hurt you so badly that I know you are trying not to blame him or and to forgive him for Raphael's sake but what about yours?" He pulled himself away just far enough for him to look into those eyes again. His eyes that could not deny anything that was said. Leaf green hands gently cupped the olive cheeks. "Look at me in the eyes and with all honesty tell me that you can survive this. Look at me and tell me that you KNOW you can survive this…that you arent doing this because you are afraid of him and what he may do. Tell me in all honesty and I will leave now and never confront you about this again."

He watched as his brother's eyes closed tightly, he could feel his jaw muscles as he clenched his teeth and he could feel the pain in each and every tremor that ran through his body. He could see him choking back his emotions, trying so hard not to break down before him and it was because of this that he was grateful for the foresight to lock the lab doors. His breaths were staggered, uneven and almost painful sounding. "I'm scared." Was all he heard him say in a choked sob as his eyes rose again to meet his. Those beautiful eyes now glazed with fear and tears. "I want to make it right…they are happy…it was my fault I was so careless…Spike was so important to Raphael that I…He would have taken the mutagen if had been more careful…if I wasn't so stupid…"

So that was it. That was why he wanted Slash there. Not because he had a love for him, but for their brother. It's why he seemed so accepting, why he tried to push himself to be convinced that he was okay. "Donatello it is not your fault. It was never your fault and you can not blame yourself for the unforeseen. No one expected that to happen, no one could have predicted it." He kept his voice even and low, letting him work out the true feelings and emotions. Donatello was opening up even alittle.

"IT IS MY FAULT!" he shouted, breaking into a hysterical fit as his face contorted in pain. "I was the one who caused the explosion in the lab that almost killed Spike. I was the one who didn't stop Raphael when he took the mutagen even though I knew he wasn't going to take care of it. I just rolled over like I always do and I didn't fight him because even if I did I would lose because I'm so weak…" He pressed their foreheads together, sniffling as he did. "It hurt…it felt like I was being ripped in two every times and I tried so hard." Leonardo realized the change. Knowing they weren't talking about Raphael anymore. "He stood there and laughed…he watched and did nothing to stop it…even as I screamed…" the scent of blood filled the air.

Concerned Leonardo looked down at his brother's arms, realizing he was digging into his skin with his long nails hard enough to draw blood. Red flags waved and he quickly with drew his hands far apart to stop him, grabbing his wrists in a tight hold. His brother's eyes widened, breath being held as his eyes dulled. "Oh nononono" he knew what was happening. The book warned him of this.

Tiggers – A reminder of a past trauma that can cause someone to lose track of their surroundings and "relive" a traumatic event.

"Danatello, stay with me…come on Donnie…" he shook his shoulder lightly, watching as the held breath now became so short and shallow that he feared he was slipping into a panic attack. "Donnie! Come on Donnie! It's me, I'm here…it's Leo…"

A trigger can cause a vivid flashback to the past trauma. They can because by many things such as taste, smell, location, sound, actions and even internal processes such as stress.

He held his brother as he slowly lowered him to the floor, placing him in his lap as he rocked them back and forth. His hand gently stroking his cheek as he tried to calm his younger brother down. Cooing soft and gentle words to him, trying hard to bring about a far kinder memory. "Come back to me Donnie…come on…come back to me…" Tears flowed down his cheeks. He was so helpless to help him. So helpless to have stopped this. He pressed their foreheads together, taking a deep shaky breath. "I love you…"

Without warning, hands shot up pulling him down until his beak was pressed against his brother's, those soft lips spread wide for him, allowing him access to take what he wanted. He was shocked at first, wanting to pull away but that tongue was persistent that he stay. Closing his eyes, he kissed Donatello deeper. Taking claim over every little bit of him that he could. One hand wrapped around his head to deepen the kiss, the other around his waist to pull him close. Donnie moaned so sweetly. His free hand moving the leaf green one from his waist and pushed it down lower and lower until he felt the soft olive tail below.

The kiss was broken when the younger turtle churred at the touch. His head nuzzling against his neck as he pressed their bodies closer together. Leo's head was spinning, the sweet smell of pheromones filled the air, every muscle trembled with the same need and desire to claim and fill the female before him. His alpha side took over, causing him to lay her down and ravish her neck. She churred, digging her claws into his arms as her legs spread for him. Each movement, each touch, each sweet blessed cry sent shockwave after shockwave through his body.

He took position between her legs, wondering why on earth she was making this so fucking easy. She wanted it to, she started this and he was going to fill her body, so ripe and heavy with eggs. He growled softly, nipping at the soft sensitive skin of the neck. "Mine." His voice was deep, husky and dripping with lust. He pulled back, looking down on that female with his own eyes wanting to see those gorgeous eyes…

Dull.

He stared down at her. Her eyes held no life, no warmth. Only fear and pain.

He lowered his eyes then, his own face twisting with foolish guilt and remorse. How cruel was fate to do this to him? When finally he felt his beloved since they were so young would kiss him only to not be himself.

He put on a brave face. Looking back up at his brother and cupped his cheek. "Donnie…come back to me." He spoke softly, like he did when they were tots and the thunder would cause him to cry out in fear long before he understood what it was.

Slowly those eyes shown in new light. Returning to the same calm, caring and understanding look that he always held. Smiling softly, he looked up into his brother's eyes. "Leo…" he hugged him tightly. His heart beating rapidly in his chest.

Leo returned the hug, just happy that Donnie was back with him. When they pulled away he cupped his cheek, soothing it with his thumb. "Where did you go?" he asked.

"Go? I didn't go anywhere." He tilt his head to the side. "Leo are you okay?" his voice was laced with concern. Ever the doctor at heart.

He smiled and nodded his head, lifting his brother from the floor and back onto the chair. "Show me what you are working on." He saw the light in his brother's eye as he turned to the screen and began to talk about the wiring and functions of the incubator. Relief washed over him. Donnie couldn't remember their talk nor what happened after. Perhaps it was his mind's way of putting himself at ease. A way to deal with everything and process the hurt and pain and trauma. He wasn't sure but he was grateful to whatever gods cared enough to have mercy on his poor brother.

Leo could handle the burden of it.

~LRDM~

Donnie walked out of the lab with Raph's help. He didn't understand why his brother was so persistent to draw him away from the construction of the incubator or that he seemed to blow him off when he complained there was not enough wood to build a crib. He was becoming quite irritating with his nonchalant attitude and it was getting under his skin.

The moment he stepped out the door he heard a huge "Surprise!" ring in the lair. Looking over he could see the lair had been decorated with trays of food, a table of gifts wrapped in many different colors, balloons, streamers and a big sign that read "Baby Shower". Below he could see the faces of all those he loved so dearly and he couldn't help but cover his mouth to let out a soft cry. He hadn't expected this.

"See! I told ya he didn't suspect it!" Mikey bounced over and placed a green necklace around his neck, one that had a little turtle charm on it. "First game! You cant say baby, if you do you lose the necklace and give it to the person who calls you out!" His little brother's bright smile was too hard to resist. He smiled too.

"Come on Donnie boy, it's all fer you." His hot headed brother spoke softly. Helping him down the stairs as Mikey put the necklace on Raph, They moved to the couch before Casey stopped them.

He smiled brightly and rubbed the back of his head. "I know we don't always see eyes to eye Donnie…and well…I aint got alotta money…so I worked for an old carpenter near my house sweeping up saw dust and moving lumber and what not…and well…I hope ya like it…" he moved to kitchen only to come back with a rich mahogany wood rocking chair. On the headrest was carvings of the Hamato clan symbol and little turtles. "I made it for ya."

Donnie moved forward, looking it over for a long moment, his hand tracing the fine details of the carvings. He never knew Casey was so talented in such. He turned to him, eyeing the teenage human for a long moment before he smiled and bowed. Shocking everyone there. "Thank you for your thoughtful gift." He brought his head back up and felt arms wrap around him.

"Dude just suck it up and hug me." So he did. He wrapped his arms around the buffoon who took the love of his life from him and he realized without a doubt that he had made the right choice in stepping back and allowing him to be with her.

A camera flash went off and all eyes looked to Mikey who had the biggest and widest smile on his face. "Kodak moments!" he waved it around and everyone couldn't help but laugh.

Raph helped Donnie into the rocking chair. Once down they all gathered round to sit by him and talk. It wasn't about much. Mostly that they hadn't had the chance to gather like this before and how grateful they were for the chance. Leo was staying very close to Donnie. Acting as nothing was wrong but he could see the tension in his body at having all those people near him.

Kirby made his way over after some time. He seemed so uncomfortable as if he was out of place. "Well ugh…Donatello, Congratulations and all about the babies…"

Mikey jumped up and ran over, swiping the green beads from his neck with ease before swinging them around his finger. "First one down!" he chuckled and ran back to talk to Leatherhead.

"As I was saying, congratulations. I just wanted to say that…I thank you, for everything. If it weren't for you…April and I wouldn't be here. I also wanted to say thank you for working so hard to create the retromutagen. I know it was no easy task and I cant understand how you were even able to do it." He bowed lowly to him, unsure of Japanese customs and if this was acceptable or not. All he knew was that it was assign of respect. "Thank you for keeping my little girl safe. I can never begin to repay you for all you have done for us."

Donnie placed a hand on his shoulder, moving him so he would look up at him again. "It was nothing. You are most welcome. You don't have to repay a friend."

He could hear a grunt of approval from his own father as he passed by with a fresh cup of tea. It made his heart swell with pride as his father placed a hand on his shoulder. "Well spoken my son."

After they ate, Mikey, who now had four necklaces having swiped Leatherhead's, was on about this other game they were playing. Everyone was given a baby spoon, piece of paper and pen. He carried around a tray of ten jars of baby food with the labels removed and replaced with written numbers. "Okay so with this one you have to take a bite and guess what flavor it is! One who is right wins."

They all took turns tasting the food. "Ugggh. Babies actually eat dis shit? I thought Mikey's mush tasted bad." Raph wrinkled his nose writing "shit" on the paper.

"It isn't so bad, I kinda like it." Slash nudged Raph playfully. Both of them chucking.

Once again the baby of the family bounced over and swipped the necklace off his big brother's neck. "You said it and harsh bro!"

Raph smacked his head grumbling about how he lost to Mikey of all people.

"Okay everyone give me the cards!" he looked them over, marking things down before he pulled out the winner. "The winner without even tasting the food is Sensei!" Mikey looked to their father who had simply sniffed each jar. "Dad! You were supposed to taste it."

The old rat chuckled softly. "I did not have to." He tapped his nose.

Donnie chuckled softly. His eyes fixated on the family. On everyone who he held so dear. Each of them were laughing, having a great time together all because of the bundles of joy that grew within him. He looked to each of them.

Mikey playfully bounced around to each person, spreading laughter and joy everywhere he went with that endless energy he had. No doubt his babies lives would be filled with endless laughter and joy because of him.

Raph was strong, no doubt willing to put the babies needs well before his own. They would be protected and comforted. They would be safe from anything that frightened them because his big strong arms would fight away those fears.

Leo was stoic and wise. His skill and wisdom would ensure that they grew up in a balanced home. That they were disciplined and trained to protect themselves in the cruel world. With his guidance, they would all be great.

Spike…Spike was much like Raph. Strong, silent but forceful. If things didn't go quite his way he was quick to anger. Granted it he was getting better, trying to be better…Donnie was not so sure about him. Even so he was sure Raph would never let Spike hurt anyone, especially the babies.

"Donatello…" speaking of. Said turtle looked up at the larger tortoise. There was no denying the look Leo was giving him. Ensuring that any false move he made would be swiftly dealt with. The large black hands fiddled a bit, a nervous habit he seemed to have picked up when trying to be a better tortoise. "I know you have every right to refuse me but…" he looked to Raph who nodded encouragement. "I want to know if I can…touch your…"

He wanted to say no. He didnt want him to touch him. He wanted to get up and run as far as he could from there but he stayed. He placed on his mask, a gentle smile on his lips. "You are their father."

"HIM?!" Kirby shouted and April's face turned red as she hushed him. There was a look of deep worry and concern in the scientist's eyes as he looked to Donatello. Almost pleading with him that they needed a serious talk.

Donnie knew already what it was about. He would ensure that they never have that talk.

Despite the outburst, Slash ignored it in favor of gently laying his hand on the large belly of his mate. He was sure to be extra gentle, fearful even that he would hurt or cause him discomfort. "I'm not hurting you? You are comfortable?"

He could not deny the progress that was made with him spending time with Raphael. The time was constructive, enlightening and filled with lessons on how to treat and tend to Donatello. "I am fine." He spoke softly. Keeping his eyes down and focused elsewhere. Fearing that if he looked up and met his gaze that he would regret it. The soft pets to his belly felt nice, but he wished whole heartedly that it was anyone else who would have done it.

Leo could see how tense he was, how he avoided eye contact with him. Thinking quickly he looked to Mikey. "Isnt it time for presents?"

The ball of energy shot up and stood on the table. "YO! It is!" he ran over to the table and carried an armful of them over. Leatherhead offered himself to bring the larger ones. They set them in a pile next to Donnie and forced Slash to move, much to Leo's delight.

"Okay so Dee, each color is from one of us. Obviously orange is me, red is Raph, Blue is Leo and yadda yadda. Here!" he handed him the orange box and sat down. "Start with mine!" he had the camera ready.

"Oh…Okay thank you." He blushed softly as he opened the gift. Looking down at the bottle maker that would warm the milk to the perfect temperature each time.

"Man I know you don't wanna wake up at night and make bottles when you're dead ass tired! I seen how you get bro and this will make it right every time! Plus I know how much you like new machines!" he snapped a picture and ran over to hug his brother.

Donnie leaned in and rested his head on Mikey's shoulder. "Thank you. It was a very thoughtful gift." The gleam in those baby blue eyes was all he needed to see as the gift was set aside for the next one.

This one was green. "That would be from me." Leatherhead said shyly. "I am sorry I could not find something more suitable for you…"

The pregnant turtle opened the gift and smiled down at it. A refurbished teddy bear with two different colored eyes and a bottle cap nose. Little stitched scars across it's body where he had put it back together. On the back was a small switch, once on it played a sound like a soft drum. "It's a Dex bear."He hugged it to him, surprised by how soft the fur was and how clean it smelled. He smiled at his gator friend. "Thank you."

"Wait what is that sound? Its kinda creepy." Casey said softly, leaning over to April.

"It plays sounds like you would hear in the womb, it is supposed to calm babies and help them fall asleep." She laid her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you Leatherhead. I am sure they will love it. It is very cute." He meant every word. He set that aside atop Mikey's gift as another was placed in his hands.

It was a red box, obviously from Raph. The big guy was embarrassed as a blush graced his cheeks. Inside was a set of educational books. From letters to numbers, shapes and colors, there were even some about animals. "Ya were the first of us ta read…so I figured ya would wanna start 'em off early."

Donnie nodded. "You're right about that. It's never too early to learn." He grabbed his brother's hand and yanked him down into a hug. "Thank you Raphie."

He pulled away after returning the hug. "Don't worry about it ya sap." He waved his hand in the air trying to hide his blush.

The next was a larger box that was blue. Leo knelt down to Donnie to help position it infront of him. "I hope you like it."

The olive turtle tore away at the wrapping paper, finding a solid wood changing table. Ever the particle one. He thought to himself.

"I got one that was good for twins…this way you can change one and I…someone else could change another. More hands make less work." He smiled at him. Donnie leaned in and gave him a hug. "Wise choice." He pulled back, noting the changing color on his cheeks.

That was soon moved and replaced with a black bag and inside were four black boxes. "That would be from me." Slash said proudly. Moving to get in close and see his face. He was proud of his choice in gift.

Donnie nodded and opened the first one. It was a front and back baby carrier. Able to carry two babies at once allowing for hands free movement. The other three were the same.

"Since you said it was possibly eight eggs…I thought if not you have spares." The larger mutant lowered himself, waiting for his hug. "You can still work on your projects as well as your ninjitsu."

The pregnant turtle reluctantly hugged him, pulling away quicker then he had with the others. "Thank you…they are very useful gifts." He mustered a smile but could not deny the usefulness of them.

The next gift was white with yellow pokadots. "That's from my father and I." April piped up. Smiling brightly as she moved to him. It was a huge and heavy gift.

"It feels expensive…" he said softly. Frowning as he wondered just how much they had spent on this. He knew they didn't have much money and this was certainly not worth them doing this.

"It doesn't matter Donnie! You are always putting everyone else before yourself and well…we wanted to get you something new that you didn't have to waste time to clean." April paced a hand on his shoulder and he felt that same zing though his body everytime she did, only further reminding himself that she was so close and yet he would never have her.

Removing the wrapping paper he saw a large wooden crib that matched the changing table. It could easily hold eight babies with little effort until they were about a year old. He traced the box, reading about everything it came with including the mobile of the moon, stars and planets.

She leaned in and hugged him tightly. "You deserve the best Donnie." She said softly, kissing his cheek before she pulled away.

"Thank you Mr. O'Neil…thank you April." He bowed his head to them and watched as the gifts were set off to the side.

The reset were little things, bottles, spoons, diapers and so on of the like. The little things to keep the babies happy and healthy.

Yet there was no gift from his father. Looking over at his father he did not seem upset. Had he angered him? Was the gift he wanted not there or was he holding off? Part of him was fearful that he didn't give a gift because he didn't care about the babies. The thought alone filled him with a deep unending sadness.

The rest of the night was mostly a blur. Mikey had every necklace save for Leo, Splinter and Donnie. He was hovering near them, waiting for the moment to snag their necklaces and become the turtle champion.

"You okay?" Leo asked, kneeling down to check on Donnie who was fairly quiet for this party being for him. He was concerned because he just sat alone in the chair rocking back and forth with his good foot staring off into space. Part of him fearful he left them again but was glad to see him responding.

"Just tired." He admitted. It had been hours since the party started and he was hoping that they would settle down now that the presents and food were done. He had an obligation to stay seeing as they were there for him. He didn't want to Leo to know about how upset he was about their father. It would crush him.

His brother nodded. "I understand. Give me a bit and I'll be sure to see them out." He smiled and moved to their father, whispering in his ear before seeing the old rat nod.

"I want to that you all for joining us on this special day but I feel it is at an end. Regrettably today has been extremely taxing on my son and it is best he rest." He could see their understanding. Each said their good-byes, Donnie thanked them again before watching all but his family and Spike leave.

He was grateful for it. Ready to call it a night because he was very exhausted. Raph moved toward him, ready to take him up and to bed when their father raised his hand to stop him. "I know you are tired my son, but I have something special for you." He stood up and solely made his way to the dojo.

Donnie's heart fluttered, regretting doubting his father at all now that he had seen the gleam in those eyes. There was no doubt excitement in them and he couldn't wait to see just what his "something special" was. The others sat around him just as curious as him and they no doubt seen the eagerness.

He looked around at each of them. Filling his heart with joy and love. He took a deep breath and smiled. "I accept."

All eyes looked to him. Unsure at first what he was talking about. He shook his head at their surprise and said it again. "Mikey's offer. I accept." There was nothing but happy faces. Each of them doing some motion of triumph. He was on board because he felt despite the sacrifices he was to make. It would all be for the advantage of his children.

Before they could talk on it more, Splinter walked out with those same two boxes from the morning. Setting one down before Donatello and the other before Leonardo. He received a puzzeled look from each. "I am excited to see how you like them."

The two brothers looked at each other. Their eyes searching the other's before they set to open them. Leonardo's was thinner but still layers. A blue nearly the same as his mask and there were also white palm palm things in the box. The back of his Haori was the clan emblem in a slightly darker blue. The hakama were decorated with the clan symbol woven in shining blue thread. Highly formal. His eyes slowly looked to his father. The clan leader was determined and stone faced. Immoveable like a mountain. He looked to his brother who held a puzzled look.

Inside of Donatello's was a white kimono with purple accents. It was larger and thicker then Leonardo's with far more layers as well. There was a highly decorated silk obi with purple patterns repeating the same flower pattern, the Hamato clan symbol. Pulling the kimono further from the box, he looked at the back, the purple embroidery so flawlessly done again in the shape of the Hamato clan emblem.

Donnie narrowed his eyes questionably. "Oto-san?" he spoke softly, confused by such a gift.

"Given the news of your unexpected pregnancy, I have thought long and hard what I was to do about this." He was firm in his voice, near commanding.

"Oto-san, Please I have not spoken to them…to him about this yet…" Leo began before he was cut off.

"You will not speak!" his voice boomed and made Donatello jump slightly. "You had your chance to explain and work things out. The longer you delay the less time we have!" Leo balled the fabric in his fists, clenching his jaw as he turned away.

He turned back to Donatello. "I know you did not actively seek this out, that it was forced upon you…" he glared at Slash out of the corner of his eyes. "With the customs of my birthplace and clan traditions, I seek to restore your honor."

Donatello looked to Leonardo, looking to him for guidance and understanding but he saw none. His elder brother was at war with himself both inside and out. It frightened him to see him like that, especially because of their father. He wanted comfort him.

"Look at me when I am speaking to you!" he snapped his eyes to his father on the command. "You being a biological female will be best suited to wed Leonard my heir. Your children will be claimed as his bit will not be considered for his heirs once his own have been born…"

Donatello wasn't listening. There was a loud buzzing in his ear even as he heard muffled arguments in the background. The joy and happiness from before…the pure blissful togetherness all torn away. There were fights and arguments, father against sons, brother against brother. He could see them yelling, could hear the muffled sounds but couldn't make out the words.

It was because of him.

It was his fault.

It was because he exists.

The family he loved was fighting.

The family he loved was being torn apart.

He spoke softly though no one heard him. He hunched over, inhaled deeply and shouted at the top of his lungs so they would all finally hear him. A single word. "NO!"


	34. Purple Jade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Domestic violence, blood

"You being a biological female will be best suited to wed Leonardo, my heir. Your children will be claimed as his but will not be considered for his heirs once his own children have been born." Splinter explained. "These kimono are for the ceremony. You have one week to prepare for it."

"Hold the fuck up!" Raph was first to chime in.

"Language Raphael!" the old rat narrowed his eyes. He knew this would be a fight. He had three sons wanting to be with Donatello, it was no surprise that they would be upset by this. Yet, he could not back down. He was still their Master, their Sensei, their father and head of the Clan. Within these walls, his word was law.

Raph stepped forward, hands twitching as he fought the urge to hit something. "So ya tell'en me ya gonna give Donnie over ta Leo?! Ya fuck'en play'en favorites!" He was pissed. His eyes narrowed darkly, challengingly. "We shoulda known it was gonna be Leo, who the fuck else is up ya ass all day 'n night?!" he knocked over a lamp in his rage shattering it upon the floor. "Why da fuck does Leo get ta be a father? Why not Mikey 'er me?!"

"I have not made my choice lightly. I had taken all three of you into consideration. Leonardo is best suited because unlike you and Michelangelo, he has been reading up on conditions that may afflict your brother…" Splinter was not at all pleased when he was cut off.

"Mikey was read'en about pregnant mothers 'n what ta cook for 'em! He's been rub'en his feet because they are so swollen! I have been work'en ta better their father 'n gett'en 'im ta sleep! We are all help'en in different ways and yet of course all ya see is Leo! Yer eyes only eva see Leo!" He gestured to him, Donnie and Mikey. "Break'en news pops, ya got fuck'en four kids not just Leo!"

Mikey ran to Raph, tugging his arm. "Come on dude, calm down!" He didn't want them to fight. He didn't want them to get in trouble. "I'm sure we can just chill lax and figure this out if we calm…" he lost hold of his angry brother.

The larger turtle looked to him. "No! I ain't gonna chill! It ain't fuck'en right! Ya ain't gonna tell me ya ain't pissed as I am Mikey!"

"No! I'm more pissed off at you all for ruining his baby shower!" he crossed his arms in anger. "I can't believe you all would just decide that he needs and should get married! This is America, we don't do that shit!" the little brother puffed out his cheeks.

Leo stood between his brother's and father. "Stop! This isn't going to solve anything just screaming at each other! We need to all calm down and sit this over to talk!" he looked to his father. "All of us."

"I will not talk about this. I have made up my mind and you two will be married." He turned to leaved when Raph moved toward him. Leo grabbed his arm and yanked him back. "You dare to challenge my authority Raphael?!"

"Yeah! I dare!" he drew his sais, ready to challenge their father.

"NO!" the cries from Donatello ran go in the lair, silencing all that were there, all eyes laid upon him and his uncharacteristic outburst. "No! I will not marry any one brother." He stood up, leaning against the pillar just before their father. The gaze from the old rat was cold and unmoving. "Father please, I mean no disrespect." He bowed to him as best he could before slowly raising to meet his eyes. "I love my brothers dearly and I could not bear to be with one when I know it would hurt the others. We are not bound by human laws. We are turtles, we are not monogamist and we do not have life partners. We have multiple mates to diversify the clutch of young we lay to ensure that…"

"I will not have such sinful behavior in my home." The tone was cold and flat, a warning that his patients were wearing thin. "If you were human, even if it is not your fault, your pregnancy would dishonor our family and clan. You would not be able to marry anyone of high standing and your children would be bastards." He turned to fully face his son, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I am being merciful. I know this is not your fault and I seek to restore your honor and marry you to my eldest son. Any woman would be honored for such in your position…"

The other three were taken back. Donnie never went against their father, his word was law and he never rebelled or spoke back but here he was, standing against him defending their choice and the relationship they all agreed to with such fire and passion that only made them desire him more. This was a side of him that they wished they had seen more of, yet at the same time were quite frightened of.

He bit his lip as he fought the tears. "I am not a woman." He spoke coldly. "I am a male turtle who is biologically female! I don't feel like a woman, I just feel like me! I am not honored to be told that I have to marry one brother and deny the other's their chance at making their dreams of being fathers come true. I am the only one capable of giving them exactly what they want and Mikey came up with a great idea to do this if you would just listen…"

"I will not! I will not listen to why you think is best because you are in no state to know what is best for you!" his anger was slowly raising. Boiling to the surface and threated to explode. "I am you father! It is my duty to do what is best for you and…"

"Best for me or best for the clan?!" Donnie stood his ground. "I know Leo is your heir. You want legitimate heirs for him I understand this, but our lives are not like that. We are not like that. Father please, understand that this is the closest thing they will ever have to normalcy! I cannot take that away from them."

Splinter scuffed, clearly getting annoyed. "I expected better of you Donatello. You were always my obedient son and now you stand here disobeying me. I will not accept this, not from them and not from you!" he stepped closer, looking down at his son. "You will marry your brother because it is what is best for you and this clan."

The olive skinned turtle shook his head. "I will not. I have already agreed to a polyamorous relationship with all of them. I will not value one over the others and I feel this will stop jealousy, strengthen the team and clan as well as a vast number of benefits…"

"I WILL NOT HAVE A WHORE UNDER MY ROOF!" He bore his teeth. "I am no longer discussing this with you!" he looked to all of them. "With ANY of you! Donatello will marry Leonardo one week from today and I will not change my mind! My decision is final!"

Tears filled his eyes. A whore…is that what his father thought of him? Just because he wanted to make them all happy? What did it matter? Leo would get his heirs and the clan would be better of that way. So why…Why did it hurt so fucking much to hear those words? He shot his head up, glaring at his father with an angered look that was twisted with pain. "What right do you have to dictate my life?! Why do you decide who I love and who I marry?! I'm pregnant, I'm biologically a female and you now treat me with less respect than them!" he gestured to his other brothers who stood there, mouths agape. "It is MY life! They are MY children! It is MY body!" He shook his head. "What right do you have to call me a whore?! Since when is loving your brothers so much that you would sacrifice your own dreams to see theirs come true make you a whore?" He shot a look at his father, eyes burning like a crimson flame. Red and bright with his fury. "Would you say the same if I was Miwa?!"

The sound of flesh connecting hard with flesh rang throughout the lair. A small splatter of blood stained the pillar. All eyes stared wide eyed. All eyes unbelieving of what had just occurred. There was no sound. There was no movement. Just endless silence as they stared as their father's hand and Donatello's discolored cheek and split lip.

Splinter was breathing heavily. Anger in his eyes as he felt the deep stinging sensation in his hand. His eyes locked on his son, head turned toward the pillar, his eyes case down. He was unable to stand on his own and needed the pillar for support. His whole body trembled, shaking before their father be it from the force of the back hand or from the fear of their father. "I will not tolerate disobedience!" he spat. "Do you understand me?!"

"You hit 'im…" Raph trembled with rage. "All he did was defend 'imself and you hit 'im." He ran at him, this time being held back by Leonardo, Mikey and even Slash. "YOU HAVE NO FUCK'EN RIGHT! He didn't even raise a hand ta you! He's fucke'en pregnant! What the fuck?!" he fought against his brothers and friend, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to push past, ready to rip their father in two for what he had done.

"Raphie…" he instantly calmed, turning to look at his little brother, heavy with growing eggs as he looked up. "Let it go." He spoke softly, wiping away the blood from his chin with the back of his hand. He turned to his father. Looking up at him with dull eyes that seemed devoid of all light and life.

"Donnie…" the elder brother turned to walk toward him but the other's held him back.

He turned to his father, slowly moving to his knees before him. He bowed lowly, until his head touched the ground, showing him the utmost respect. "Forgive my disrespectful behavior. If you believe marrying Leonardo is best for me and the clan then I humbly accept."

"No Donnie!" Raph glared at their father. "He don't want it! Leo don't want it so why da fuck are ya push'en it? Who da fuck cares about legitimate heirs? Aint noth'en about us is legitimate!"

Splinter turned from Donatello to his second son. "You are too young and arrogant to understand. In time you will all thank me for this."

"I'm fuck'en done!" he pushed Leo and Mikey off of him, charging at their father with sais drawn. "Ya ain't no father if ya gonna do this! Ya had no right ta hit 'em!" he slashed at the rat fully intent on making him feel just how much pain and hurt he was in. "He was da good one! The one that listened! The one that obeyed!" he gave it all he had. Every time Splinter dodged or redirected his attack he grew more despite. "He neva drinks, neva smokes! He don't even fuck'en swear!" Splinter smacked him with the back of his tail. "He only eva puts everyone else before himself! Countless times when we came home he used all the medical supplies on us! The pain killers, the bandages!" tears stained his eyes.

Splinter knocked one sai from his hand, sending it flying to the kitchen. He took hold of his other hand and pinned him to the ground, the second sai to his neck. He could see the anger in his son's face. The pain at being denied happiness. The pain that he believed the younger three sons did not mean as much as his eldest. Splinter took a deep breath and sighed. "You love your brothers, there is no denying that. Yet this right here is why I fear placing him with you. Your outbursts, your rash actions, you would only put him and the children at risk."

"I hate ya." Was all he got in response.

"Enough please." Donnie was sitting up now, looking to them "I agreed, just don't hurt him anymore." Tears were flowing from his eyes. It was a sorrowful sight no matter who you were.

The moment Raph was free, he kicked off the ground and ran to Donnie. Kneeling before him and gently hugging him. "Ya don't have ta agree ta not a damn thing. Ain't no one gonna think any less of ya. Who da fuck gives a shit about what he says…in the end ya have ta agree and say I do. He can't make ya…" he pulled back, cupping his brother's cheeks in his hands, careful not to touch the large bruise that was forming and wiped away the tears. "I'll protect ya. I swore then when we was just kids…I still take it seriously. Come on Donnie…Don't break my heart. Don't break Mikey's." He nuzzled their beaks together. "Don't agree ta shit if ya don't want it."

He turned away. Donnie rejected him and turned away. "I can't." His voice was so filled with pain and exhaustion. "I'm just tired Raphie…I can't…" his face twisted in pain as he held his belly, expelling what little he managed to eat at the party upon the floor. His whole body trembled as he tried to get a hold of his emotions. What little control he had over his life before now felt as if that thread had been severed.

"Donnie!" Mikey ran to him, gently rubbing his shell. "It's okay bro let it all out. Don't worry about the mess I'll clean it later." He looked at everyone with the most pissed off look he could muster. Even when Leo moved to take Donnie's hand and gave it a squeeze. "You aren't supposed to stress him out! You aren't supposed ta hit him!" he scuffed at their father and looked back to his sick brother. "Calm down Dee, everyone is just pissy. We'll all go to bed and talk about it tomorrow."

Splinter opened his mouth to speak but Leo spoke first. "He's right. We're all just tired and upset. Come on, Raph will take you to bed and we can all talk about this tomorrow." He helped his brother's stand Donnie up. It was clear he wasn't going to be able to walk, so they settled him in Raph's arms and had him carry him up the stairs.

"Raphael…" The hot headed turtle stopped and shot him a glare. "You will no longer be sleeping in his room. Donatello is betrothed." Splinter's voice left little room to argue.

"Get bent." Was his response, pissed that their father now didn't trust him to be in the same room as Donnie. As if he would rape him or something. It hurt, but it only fed the fire that burned within him.

Leonardo turned to their father. "There was no reason for any of that." He snapped. Still giving their father respect by bowing his head. "Donnie is no threat. He was upset there was no reason to strike him."

"Leaders must make difficult choices my son. Ones that do not always favor everyone." He placed his hand around his back. "I expect my orders to be followed. If Raphael is in your brother's room tonight, then he will regret it." He turned away, watching as his youngest grumbled under his breath as he cleaned the mess left by Donatello. "You will finish the project I gave you. I expect it done by tomorrow to present to your brother."

"I will have it done." He bowed his head. Something about this wasn't right. It wasn't like their father but he was too upset to confront him about it. He felt it would lead to nothing more then more fighting and Donnie was already upset, they were all upset.

Splinter retired to his room. Once the door slid shut he lowered his guard. His eyes widened as he looked down at his trembling hand. The hand that had struck his son. What he said…it had gotten to him. Yet what truly caused the reaction, was those eyes. So filled with anger and pain that all he saw was Saki. His face haunted him and ever since that nightmare he felt a sense of dread when ever he was near his pregnant son. As if the past were doomed to be repeated but this time…with far more dire consequences.

It was why he was pushing so hard for the marriage. Once Donatello was wed he would no longer need to leave the lair. He would be resigned there, under Splinter's close watch. To ensure that the child did not lose both their parents, he would relinquish his role as a ninja. He would never have to leave the lair again because he would be raising the children and taking care of the others. He would have a far more important role within the lair where he would be safest and far away from the grasp of the Foot Clan and Oroku Saki.

~LRDM~

Another X was placed upon the large map of New York's sewers, leaving that as the 458th tunnel that had been checked since they had come to this miserable city. Shredder was becoming impatient and it was really starting to show. In the past weeks he had ordered every Foot ninja, every Purple Dragon down into the vast sewer system to look for the home of the turtles. Each passing day they were no closer than they were the day before. It seemed like they were searching for a needle in a haystack.

Even the second map of all the places they had seen the turtles marked with the times their operations started to the time the turtles showed up, marked to pinpoint their location through triangulation but it did no good. Those damn turtles were too clever. They never used the same entrance or exit twice.

The turtles had been seen a few times, each time without the very turtle he sought and with a larger one instead. According to the Kraang, they believed it was Donatello that mutated the larger turtle, thus had stabilized the mutagen to play into his favor. There was no doubt they were keeping him hidden. No doubt that the turtle survived his fall.

He snarled angerly. Looking down at the pages of documents that he was able to pull from what little the Dragons knew about the turtles. It seemed that Donatello was a thorn in their sides as well though Raphael's name was the most well-known. He moved the documents, looking at images taken from a Kraang facility, showing the lone Donatello breaking in to free the human they learned was the girl's father. He was highly trained and no doubt intelligent. Making a plan to infiltrate a prison facility alone. He could use that kind of mind. The more he learned about him the more he wanted to know.

It was he who managed to find a cure for Xever's toxic bite just by hearing the list of symptoms over the phone. From what he heard he made the mix while in a speeding van. Impressive to say the least. Yet, he turned to the video of the retromutagen at work. Just a single drop and the beast became human again. His eyes narrowed. He wanted that turtle alive.

"Master." Bradford spoke up from the door way.

"I said I did not wish to be disturbed." His voice was deep and angered. He was too far into this. Too far in and too dedicated to finding where they were.

"Unless Tigerclaw returned." The moment Bradford mentioned the name he stood up and turned to face him.

The large tiger mutant walked forward, growling at Bradford before bowing to his master. "I have returned from my mission." He tossed a bag before his master's feet. "The head, just as you requested."

Shredder slowly descended down and toward him. "Very well done. At least there is someone I may count on." He didn't even have to double check the bag to be sure, he knew the tiger would not fail. "I have a new mission for you, this is one of top priority."

"Just tell me who I may bring you the head of and it is done." He extended his claws before retracting them.

Shredder handed him the photo of the turtle, laughing about something. "I want him alive and unharmed."

The feline mutant looked it over. "Why this one?" he asked.

"He has created a retromutagen." The look in the cat's eyes was as expected. "It was successfully used. I have a desire to force him to create more to heal my daughter. Find him and I will ensure you get some as well."

A smile formed on his lips, large fangs exposed as he looked down at the picture. "Consider it done." He bowed his head. "I desire all we know about this one…"

"You have access to all you need and more." He snapped his fingers and a file was brought to him. "Here is all I have. There is a map of all places that had been looked over as well. I expect a report daily and upon every new discovery." He left no room to argue, leaving the tiger only to bow.

"I will have him to you as soon as possible. The turtles are quite tricky and resourceful, given they know you are looking for him I doubt he will make an appearance." He thought a moment before closing the file. "Give me twenty-four hours to be briefed and I will begin my hunt." He bowed his head.

"Very well." He turned on his heel, growing again at the dog mutant before vanishing around the corner.

~LRDM~

Raphael gently laid his brother in the bed, carefully helping him to sit up. "Hey Donnie…" the younger turtle didn't look at him. He kept his eyes away, trying to hide the bruise with his hand. "Donnie boy, come on, let me look at yer face. I wanna see how bad it is." He curled a finger under his brother's chin to turn his face to him. Those eyes didn't meet his, but they were glazed with tears. The split on his beak was small but worry some, he didn't want to get it infected. "Let me see da cheek Don." He placed his hand on his brother's, locking their hands together and slowly moved it away. "Oh Donnie…"

The cheek was a horrid purple color, angry and swelling. He felt his rage building again. His whole body trembled for a moment before he felt his brother squeeze his hand.

"Let it go, Raphie." It was that same small voice from when he first got home.

"I aint gonna sing dat damn song." He tried to joke but it just sounded pathetic. "And I ain't. What Splinter did was wrong and you cant defend 'em this time." He moved over to the first aid kit Donnie kept in his room. He grabbed the antibiotic ointment and returned.

Those red eyes narrowed. "I provoked him, I shouldn't have…" he was cut off by Raph taking his chin roughly, forcing his gaze to meet his. "That look in his eyes…it was like he was terrified of me…"

"Don't start that shit Don! It don't matta what ya said, it's just fuck'en words. He had no reason ta lay a god forsaken hand on ya. For fuck's sake yer pregnant!" he caressed his uninjured cheek. "None of us are blaim'en ya."

"Do you blame Leo?" he asked softly.

He nodded. "Yeah, fucker neva told us." He popped the cap off the ointment and lathered it on his dark thumb, warming it up for him.

"Don't. Leo didn't want it. If he did he would never have agreed to allow the polyamorous relationship. If he already had me there was no reason to lead you all on." He stopped the hand that was stroking his check.

"Maybe he is just a sick prick…" Raph didn't believe it. Donnie made sense. He always fucking made sense.

Eyes looked to his pleading. "He isn't like that and you know it." He was tired and it was really starting to show.

"Yeah yeah, I know. Even so, still pisses me off he didn't have da balls ta tell us sooner." He pressed the ointment to the cracked lip, watching his brother hiss softly at the pain. "And I saw how ya react'en ta Slash…"

"I cant bring myself to easily forget…it's hard enough being near him like that even if I try so hard to…" he was silenced by the thumb being pressed to his beak.

Raph smiled softly. "Shhhh. I know Donnie, so does he. I talked ta 'im about it and he understands. He needs ta respect yer space 'n boundaries. If ya tell 'em no it's no or I cut his cock off." He warned. "He ain't gonna do that shit again while I live 'n breathe." His thumb stroked the wound again, lingering on it.

Donnie smiled softly. "I know you won't, Raphie." He leaned into the touch. Closing his tired eyes for a moment of peace and clarity. Slowly his eyes opened again. Still so filled with sorrow and pain.

The bed dipped with his weight. "Good." He leaned in, moving closer to his lips before Donnie moved back.

"I'm engaged…." He tried to look away but Raph held firm.

"Don't fuck'en care. Ain't yer choice." He moved closer. "Ya wanted a relationship with all us. Ta Hell with what Splinter wants. Like ya said, it's yer life." He smiled and leaned closer, his hot breath ghosting over Donnie's beak.

He shook his head. "No." he pushed away. Reluctantly Raph backed off. "I also agreed to marry Leo." There was change in his voice.

Raph pulled him close, wrapping his arm around his hip. "Ya agreed ta both. Technically ours first and Leo never proposed." He laid his head in the nape of his brother's shoulder. He wasn't going to pressure him or force him. Not when he loved him too damn much.

"Arranged marriages don't work like that." Donnie remined him. He was enjoying to closeness. The warmth his brother gave as he tried to comfort him as best Raphie knew how. Physical contact was his language and if you paid close attention it was as loud as if he spoke through his beak.

He scuffed. "Don't give a fuck." he nuzzled his beak into the long neck of his brother. Gently taking a few playful nips at it, he was blessed with a sweet churr. "Mhmmmm." He chuckled. "Love yer sweet voice." His own was deep and husky. Filled with desire and lust. "Yer so beautiful…"

"Raphie please, don't make this any harder than…." He felt the calloused hand snake up his shoulder and neck to curl under his chin. He looked up into his brother's gaze and felt himself shiver. Raphie had to of felt it because he smirked.

"I ain't, cuz I can tell ya want it too." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Enjoying the sweet smell of the pregnant female before him. "I ain't gonna mate ya…I know ya ain't ready fer that yet…" he opened his eyes and grinned. "I just wanna kiss ya." He leaned in and took his beak into his own. It was sweet and passionate. His tongue invaded his brother's mouth claiming all that he could. Donnie wasn't fighting him like he expected, no, instead he wrapped his arm around him pulling them closer together, deepening the kiss. Raph wasn't going to stop him, not if he was contributing to this. His heart fluttered with excitement. Donnie loved him. Donnie was kissing him. Donnie wanted him.

He didn't understand it. The heat that rose within him, the feeling of longing that came with each touch. Donnie tried to fight it. He tried to back away but Raphie was so persistent. Once their lips touched he was lost to the feeling and to nature. His arm wrapped around his neck and pulled him down, deepening the kiss. His body pressed closer, rubbing his plastron against his brother's, ever careful about his tummy. Why did it feel so good?

His brother pulled away, smirk on his lips as he lightly nipped at his lower jaw line. "Mhmmm couldn't resist could ya Donnie boy?" he trailed light kisses from his jaw to his neck, licking the heated skin and earning a satisfied churr. "You smell so fuck'en good…" he nipped at his neck.

"Raphie~" his cries were strained, breath catching in his throat as his brother laid him gently upon the bed. His gaze half lidded and dazed. "W…We shouldn't..." he tried to sit up but was held in place.

"I told ya Donnie, I ain't gonna fuck ya." He kissed his neck, biting at the exposed flesh. God if the noises his brother were making didn't make him want to turn himself into a liar. "Go ta bed." He pulled the blanket up, tucking his brother in bed. "If ya want me ta stay I'll stay."

His brother shook his head. "I don't want you to get in trouble Raphie." There was genuine terror in his eyes when he meet his gaze. Fear that if he did ask him to stay their father would hurt him.

He let himself smile as he kissed his brother's cheek. "Alright, I wont." He stood up and walked to the door. "Though, ya shouldn't be alone ta night. I'm gonna send Leo up." He could see his brother visibly relax. Donnie didn't like to be alone.

"Thank you." He said softly.

"Anytime Donnie. Love ya." He opened the door hearing a gentle I love you back.

He closed the door and pressed his forehead against it. What the fuck were they gonna do?

Mikey ran up the stairs two at a time. "Ya, what happened? Is Donnie okay?!" He reached for the door but was stopped by Raph. "Ow!" he pulled his hand back.

"Sorry Mikey…" he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "He aint in da mood and right now it best he rest. "Where's Fearless?" he looked around but didn't see him.

"Putting the presents in Donnie's lab, he'll be back. Slash ran off in the tunnels, something about taking out his anger on inanimate objects. Sounds like what Donnie told you to do when you get pissy Raph." He leaned his shell against the wall. "Thanks by the way."

His brows furrowed as he looked to his little brother. "Fer what?"

Mikey smiled. "For sticking up for him. Even if Splinter is our father it…it isn't right. Every point you made…how is any of this fair to Donnie?" his smile died. "He didn't have to hit him but, the look in his eyes bro…It was like he was scared of Donnie."

"Ya noticed dat too?" he crossed his arms. "I neva seen Splinter act like that. I ain't defend'en 'im but…it don't make sense." Now that he thought about it…their father seemed very on edge. It was almost scary that look he gave Donnie. Like he was gonna kill him.

"We need to talk to Leo, he'll know better. Perhaps he could talk more with Splinter and…" ever the hopeful one.

Raph shook his head. "Ya didn't hear 'em? Apparently Leo had da past few weeks ta talk to 'im. Splinter isn't changing his mind. He is hell bent on Donnie marrying Leo but it has to be fore more then what we think…"

"It's because in marrying the heir, Donnie will be forced to resign as a ninja." Leo walked up the stairs. "Come on, we can talk more in my room." He walked past them, both of his younger brothers followed. Once in his room, Mikey pounced the bed with Leo and Raph remaining standing.

Mikey piped up first. "So Splinter wants Donnie to stop being a ninja?" he wasn't following. Their who lives had been dedicated to that. A large part of who they were was ninjas so why the hell did he want him to stop?

Leo sighed. "It goes back to the Hamato clan traditions. Kunoichi were highly trained warriors, trained in way the males weren't, in seductions. So it is not uncommon for Hamato sons to wed women who lost their virginity. Most will retain their status and continue missions, this does not happen for the Hamato heir's wife. Since there is a need to ensure that the child is his, she would be denied missions, forfeit her rank and become nothing more then a mother and house wife. Often times, Hamato heirs sought out non kunoichi because it was easier for their wifes who did not know combat." He looked to them. "Hence why Tang Shen was someone father favored. He wants Donnie to give up being a ninja to protect him."

"Mak'en a bit of sense but still…" Raph sighed and shook his head. "Is this all because of everyone look'en for 'im?"

He nodded. "Splinter first was willing to let him heal and rejoin us but…when he found that Donnie was biologically female and pregnant he decided it best to kill two birds with one stone."

"So, he wants Donnie to play house wife while we clean up the streets?" Mikey tilt his head. "Donnie wont just sit by and let us fight his battles. We all know this."

Leo turned to him and frowned. "He would if it was what is best for his children. Splinter plans to manipulate Donnie using his children. By sending us as he normally would, Donnie would be the only one left to care for the babies. If Donnie leaves, then there would be no one left of their kind."

"That is fucked up." Raph spat.

"It would work." Mikey scuffed. "If something were to happen to us, Donnie would take it upon himself to care for them alone. That is so wrong bro."

"I have been trying to find ways to refuse this and fight it, the only way was the polyamorous relationship, Donnie would have more children and each of us would diversify the population. Donnie would not be forced to resign." He crossed his arms. "Then again there was a flaw to this as well. Donnie would be pregnant while caring for the young. We see how he handles it now, he will need all the help he can get. Yet we run into the same issue. Donnie being left alone with the children. There is no right way around this, other then once our clutches are born, we ensure Donatello can not have anymore children."

"And how pray tell do ya expect ta do that?" Raph raised a brow.

"Condoms? Pills? Surgery? Perhaps we can get Leatherhead to remove his womb…" Leo wasn't sure about any of this. He didn't understand fully how any of this would go.

Mikey stood up on the bed pissed off. "Remove his womb? I may not be smart but even I know that is a huge risk bro!"

"Then what do you suggest?" Leo was open to such. If they knew more or had a better grasp then so be it.

"Visectimmaty." Mikey said with a smile on his face.

The older brothers looked at each other before looking back at the younger. "What?"

"Visectimmany? Vincennemy? Vaconitomy?" he puffed out his cheeks. "It's when they do something to your balls to make it not make babies. Donnie was watching a show on t.v back when he was creating our anatomy charts. There is a simple way and it is safer and easier to do it for boys then girls. The boys have it all outer and girls have it inner."

"Vasectomy." Leo corrected. He thought a moment. Perhap that was indeed the better way. He was sure Donnie could do it and they trusted him not to mess it up. If it was the safer option then it would be all for the best. Even so they would need to discuss it with Donnie.

They could hear the clanking sound of Metalhead's feet coming from the direction of Donnie's room before they faded away.

"Ain't no one com'en at meh balls with no knife." Raph snapped. "Ya serious? Cant we do da womb thing?"

Leo shot him a glare. "Sure, do you know how to open Donnie up and look under his Plastron? Perhaps you know what his womb looks like so you can remove it and not the liver." He shook his head. "I don't think that is a viable option. If it comes down to it you will have to make a choice. Donnie or your balls Raph."

He muttered under his breath.

"Sorry what?" Leo leaned in to hear better.

Angered he pushed him back. "Fuck'en Donnie, it'll always be Donnie." He crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. "So what do we do?"

"I don't know." Leo sighed softly, looking away. "Splinter wants us to wed before the babies are laid, that is why he is getting desperate, it would make them Hamatos and not just bastards. The best option is to accept this, just for now until we talk with Donnie and see if he had any ideas."

"He ain't all there in da head." Raph looked to him. "He is accept'en of this shit. Splinter hurt him, badly. Not just that hit but ta call 'im what he did…"

"It was messed up big time bro." Mikey agreed and plopped back on the bed. "If Donnie gets married he will honor his vows. You'll have him all to yourself and we get kicked to the curb." He was jealous but would never admit it aloud.

The elder brother moved to his youngest brother. "I don't want this, no this way. I agree with Donnie, it would be far more beneficial to be in the poly relationship. It would only strengthen us." He gave them both a soft look. "I am not willing to let this go without a fight. Not unless Donnie agrees to it and not just because we want him to or because Splinter told him to."

Mikey yawned. "Bro's I don't know about you but Im beat. I think we should pick this up tomorrow. Leo, dude we'll play your game and play along for now." He stood up and got in his face. His eyes narrowed darker then he ever seen them. "But when it comes to the I Do's, if Donnie sows even a hint of hesitation, I will object to it." He pulled back and walked out the door and headed off to his room. He was beyond pissed at how everyone was treating Donnie. How they weren't taking his thoughts and feelings into consideration. He was more upset that he was one of them. They were all being selfish, believing they knew what was best for Donnie but…only Donnie could make that judgement.

Leo stood there stiff for a bit before he looked to Raph who shrugged. "Ain't gotta clue, but I can guess he is pissed. He even yelled at Splinter too." He reached a hand to Leo's shoulder. "I can't stay with Donnie tonight. Why don't ya go? I don't think it a wise idea ta leave 'im alone after all that."

The elder brother nodded. "Yeah…you're right." He placed his hand on the one on his shoulder. "I didn't say anything because I knew you wouldn't listen if I did. I want to do what is best for everyone…but…"

"Leaders must make difficult choices. Ones that do not always favor everyone." Raph repeated their father's words. A haunting reminder of why Leo was leader and not him. Raph would have already banded them together and left the lair. Leo wanted to stay and confront the problem. He wanted to try and keep the family together.

He smiled and nodded. Walking from his room and moved to Donnie's. He could hear sniffling, no doubt his brother was crying over everything. He knocked once, the sniffling stopped and was replaced with a shaky voice. "Come in."

Leo walked in to see Donnie sitting up in bed, his back against the wall. His belly was hidden under the covers. It was clear he had been crying. His eyes were puffy and red. At some point his lip started bleeding again, if the bloody tissues in his hand were any indication. The marred skin was now a deep purple, swollen and looked to be painful. Their father had not held back when he hit him. "How are you feeling?"

His brother didn't look up, only kept his head down, hands fidgeting with the tissue in his hand. "I'm fine." He lied. A poor one that he knew Leo would pick up on quickly. The hidden meaning 'I don't want to talk' looming there.

The elder brother sighed softly.

"If you keep doing that your happiness will escape." Donnie commented. It was something Splinter had told them as tots. An old Japanese belief.

Leo shook his head and knelt beside the bed. "Donnie I know you prefer Raph, but I think I can substitute for the time being…"

He shook his head. "No one can be substituted." His voice was low. "Raphie and I only sleep in here. If you think we do more then…"

His eyes widened. "No! I don't think you two were doing that…Raph has more respect for you then that." He reached his hand out to touch his brother but it was pulled away. It hurt, but it was expected.

"Did you request it?" Donnie asked.

"What?" he tilt his head, unsure what he meant.

Donnie glared at him. "Did you go to father and ask for my hand? Did you do this behind my back, behind their backs?" he left little room to argue.

Silver eyes locked with his. Staring him straight in the eyes as he removed his mask. "I never went to Father about your hand Donatello, I did go to the others and agree to the polyamorous relationship. It was never my intention to take you from the others."

Those intense fiery red eyes dyed back to a gentle rose red. "I'm glad…" he said with a soft smile, only then lowering his hand back to allow the other to touch him. "I'm sorry…to have ever doubted you I…"

He took his single hand in both of his. "No Donnie, don't be sorry! There is so much going on that I don't blame you for thinking that." He squeezed his hand. "I love you so much and as much as I desired your hand I never wanted it to be forced like this. I had always hoped you would love me in return, not because father had declared it." He reached his hand out and cupped his brother's unharmed cheek. "I would give anything to see you happy Donatello. Even my dreams of having you as my bride. You are strong, you are so damn smart, smarter then anyone I know…" he smiled and stroked his cheek. "You are clever, compassionate, empathetic, nurturing, caring, you always know just what to say and do to make others feel better…" he pressed their foreheads together. "You are breathtaking, charming, absolutely gorgeous…even carrying babies in your belly, you glow with the radiance of a thousand suns."

Donnie sobbed. Unable to hear all these wonderful lies. None of them were true. Only glamour to try and sway him. He didn't feel beautiful. He felt fat and bloated. He didn't feel smart, he ruined everything and made their father upset. He wasn't clever, he didn't even know he was female. "Leo..." he pulled back, looking into his brother's eyes. "Why are you telling me all this? Why cant you just make it easy?"

Leonardo smirked. "Because love isn't easy Donnie. Love is something worth fighting for. Like going up a raging river of doubt." He moved so he was sitting on the bed, carefully moving Donnie to sit on his lap, his plastron to Don's carapace and pulled the covers over them. "Even when others don't feel it is right, when they go against you, you need only to see the one you love upriver, holding their hand out, waiting for you…" he smiled gently, sharp eyes looking down at him. "It makes it all worth while when you finally reach them. When you can finally hold them…" he squeezed his arms gently around him for emphasis, careful of the belly. "You fell like there is nothing else in the world that could ever compare or make you happier. That you were born for them and they were born for you." He kissed the olive hand.

"I never thought you a hopeless romantic…" He felt a flutter of joy at seeing those olive lips turn up into a smile.

"What can I say, we all have our mysteries about us." He cooed softly.

He reached into his belt, pulling out a small leather pouch. "I wasn't sure what to do." He said softly. Opening the bag as he spoke. "You work in the lab, using chemicals, soldering, welding, other…science stuff…" he blushed brightly. "A ring wasn't a very smart choice. So I remembered that show Mikey liked so much, with the people who could use the elements." He cleared his voice. "The water people…they had a unique way of showing their love…I thought it perfect and so…with a bit of help from Casey…" he pulled out a black necklace. It looked nearly identical to the one in the show save the stone in the center was a crescent moon made of purple jade. "I hope you like it…I had Casey sell some of my Space Hero comics to afford it…"

Donnie looked up at him with deep concern. "You love those comics…."

"I love you more." He hummed. Moving to place the necklace on him, ensuring that he didn't choke him. Looking at him with it on, Leo could feel nothing but pure joy. It looked beautiful on him. Donnie looked so breathtakingly beautiful that it seemed too surreal, like a dream. "A moon…for your dreams and inspiration. Often you have your head shamelessly in the clouds, always thinking of ways to better this world. Far too often I see you looking up at it, often wondering what it is you are thinking about." He kissed his cheek. "Purple Jade, to match the color that suits you so well. The color of royalty, for you stand far higher than any of us could ever hope to reach. The stone of mirth and happiness, all of which I hope to bring you. It purifies the aura, dispelling negative feelings and attitudes, allowing for spontaneous joy of life to fill the soul and spill over to others. The humor evoked by this stone enhances appreciation of the divine order of all things." He hummed softly. Looking down so lovingly upon his brother.

There was a blank look on his face. One that showed he was deep in thought. Slowly, after a time, his brother looked up at him. Hummed softly in return before he leaned up and captured his lips in his own.

Leo was shocked to say the least. Part of him feared that Donnie was slipping back into a triggered episode but he could tell this time was different. Donnie opened his eyes but a moment and they were full of life and love. That look was enough. He leaned down closer, deepening the kiss. His hand wrapped around Donnie's head to support him against the wall so he didn't hit it. His other hand still held Don's but now it was pinned to the wall, locked together in a beautiful embrace.

He pulled away, gasping with his brother, their eyes half lidded and clouded with lust. "Donnie…tell me to stop…" he wanted him to, if he didn't…Leo know he didn't have the strength to do so himself.

That look…that fucking pure and innocent look his brother gave him was too much. Yet the chirp, that soft and sweet sounding chirp that cried out with desire. "You thought so much about what to get for me…you made this…" he gently touched the stone, the precious gift his brother parted with something so dear to him to get. "Happiness…I fear this stone is working…"

The elder turtle crashed his lips into his lover's. Deepening it unlike any kiss they had before. Driven by love and lust. This felt so right. It felt so good. He shifted his body, moving between his brother's legs. He pulled away from his lips, moving to his jaw for light peppered kisses. "Donnie…" he breathe out deeply. He felt his brother tremble before his touch as he slowly moved down to his neck, kissing the physical symbol of their engagement, their love. He smiled as he heard the churr. Slowly he licked just under the necklace, winning him another churr as his fiancée's nails bit into his shoulder. He didn't care, not now, not in this moment.

Each movement and each breath shifted the jade stone, causing what little light there was in the room to reflect off of it. Shining with a brilliance that only complimented that of the wearer. "Leo~" The cries were innocent, they were so sweet and gentle. They urged him on, even that scent…the same sweet and mouth watering scent that he smelled before began to suffocate him now. He smiled, tears forming in his eyes. So this was heaven, this was bliss.

Gentle…ever so gently he laid his fiancée, he would never tire of it, upon the bed. Looking down at him. One arm up and near his head, the other near his large round belly, his long legs together at the knee and raised slightly. Yet his face, his eyes, his panting breaths all screamed desire for him.

"Breath taking…" he murmured, gently placing himself between his legs that willingly moved to make room for him. Both arms on each side of his head, propping him up. "Donnie~ I love you…"

The look on his fiancée's face grew gentle, those eyes shown red with the deep unending love. A warm and welcoming smile on his face as he reached his hand to cup his cheek. "I love you too Leo." That voice…so warm and motherly, so sweet, so innocent, so pure.

He smiled down at him, allowing his tears to fall. "I'm so happy." He held that hand on his cheek, pressing his beak to it for a light kiss. "Donnie…I will do all I can…I will make you happy and I will love your babies like they are my own because they are part of you. I want to be everything you need me to be and more."

That giggle. So light hearted and gentle. "Then just be Leonardo."

He bent down to capture his lips again, pulling him close so they could share this sweet passion. "Then you be Donatello." He cooed. Kissing him again just as deeply.


	35. Diaries

Slash picked up a large chunk of fallen concrete and threw it against the stone walls of the sewers. Roaring and howling in rage. When that did little damage he began to punch at the wall rapidly. "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" he punched again and watched as it gave, collapsing and falling to his strength. His fist throbbed but he loved it. The feel of destroying something with his own two hands.

"Fucking vow! If I had not made it…when he touched Donatello…When he hit MY Donatello…" he picked up a fallen chunk and threw it as hard and as far as it could go, watching it shatter against the wall at the other end of the sewer. "HE WOULD BE DEAD!" he threw another chunk. "DAMN IT!"

He plopped on the walkway, throwing his head back against the stone wall. Tears flowing from his eyes as he tried to calm down, using the breathing trick Raphael had taught him.

'In through ya nose 'n slowly out ya pie hole.' He did so demonstrating the flow of air with his hands. 'I know it sounds like a load'a shit but it works. Donnie showed me when we were kids, a way ta calm meh temp'a ya know? When I got real bad.'

'Listen…we know ya ain't ta blame about what happened between yous and Donnie. It happened during mat'en season 'n all but…we also see da Donnie aint tak'en very well ta ya touch'en 'im. I know it's a lotta ask but…could ya ask 'im before hand? We don't wanna cause 'im any more stress for da sake of dem babes but…Leo feels like ya gonna trigg'a 'im.' He knew why Raph had asked it of him. He understood it was for the good of Donatello and their kids but still…to have to ask to see him, to be near him, to touch him? Would he have to do so to his own kids?

"Trouble in paradise?"

Slash shot up, his eyes glaring at his brother. "What the hell do you want?!" he snarled. He never wanted to see him again. "Nice scar."

The newt smirked and touched the scar across his eye. "You like your handy work? When you threw me from your mate I hit the mirror, you wouldn't have known that given you left in a hurry as I was left unconscious bleeding out upon the floor. The very one who brought your precious mate to you." There was anger in his voice yet his features remained calm.

"You tried to rape him!" he snarled, moving toward the bastard only to stop as he spoke again.

"So. Did. You." Another smirk as he eyes him. Watching the pain twist in his face. "Multiple times, each day. There was so much blood I'm surprised he survived it. Delicious really, when I watched you rape him. His screams echoing off the stone walls. It was so funny I laughed."

"SHUT UP!" Slash shouted. "I didn't want to…I made the cage to…to protect him from me…"

"I think what really broke him was when you actually got him to cum. When his body started to react and he enjoyed it. Moaning like a wonton bitch in heat. I think that is when he really stated to give into you. Shame will do that. I bet he thinks he is vial for enjoying it. I bet he is afraid of you."

"I SAID SHUT UP!" he chucked a chunk of wall at him, the newt didn't move as it missed by a huge gap.

He tsked. "Temper. Temper. Is that anyway to treat your brother? Are you going to act like that when you become a father?"

Slash's eyes widened. "How did you know?"

Another smirk. "Just now actually, that reaction spoke volumes. So he was heavy with eggs when I gave him to you, lovely. After all you deserved it. Congratulations." He tossed him a box, watching as it slid to his feet. "Customary for fathers to have cigars? I think?" he shrugged. "He must be quite lovely now. So, round and full of eggs. A breeder, that's what they are you know. He'll be hitting his mating season soon. Delayed because of the time in dimension X but none the less…I assume it will hit…Early to mid-fall." His tail waved behind him. "He wont be able to say no then. Just imagine him, covered in sweat, panting and wet with need. You wouldn't even need to pry his legs open, he'll spread them nice and wide."

"I'll kill you!" his voice dripped with venom but he couldn't move. The thought was too arousing. Just picturing his beloved, spread wide for him, wet and ready to be filled. It sent shivers down his spine.

The newt scuffed. "Doubtful. I wont give you the chance. Besides, there are a lot of powerful people looking for him. People who would do him more harm then just breeding him. Really, I was going to make him feel good, but now I guess the Shredder can do that. Something tells me he will open a lot more than his legs."

"STOP!" he threw another chunk and this time it whizzed past his head.

"Really? Now I am thinking you are trying to hit me." He shot at him, using his tail to knock him over and pinned him to the ground, gun to his head. "Now shut up and listen. I am on your side. The last thing I want is for my brother to lose his young. If you keep running your mouth I will cause more problems for you all." He pressed the gun harder against his head. "If that little whore of yours hits mating season with the other turtles there, then I doubt you will get a piece. They will drive the odd one out, that is you genius. So you either take him out of there, or you lose him because first chance they get they will get rid of you and your kids too."

He shook his head. "Raphael would never…Donatello would hate them…"

The newt laughed loudly. "RakkaRakka, do you really think they give a shit about what the female thinks or feels? When she becomes heavy with their offspring, they will not want the competition. Hell, I doubt she will even let your eggs live once they are born." He leaned in closer. "Tell me…did they already consider removing them?" the look on his brother's face was enough to ensure it was true. "So they have, why would anyone consider such barbaric tactics? On poor innocent babies?" he kicked off of him, standing far away from him. "When you get Raphael's dick out of your cunt and decide to grow a pair again, my door is always open for you, your mate and your kids." He opened a portal and vanished.

He left Slash with a lot to think about.

~LRDM~

He laid there, warm in the embrace of his brother, listening to the gentle sounds of his breathing as he watched the candle light dance on the wall. Gently, ever so gently did he touch his hand to the necklace. Something so precious and thoughtful that Leo had given to him, having sold his own valuable possessions to create it. Handcrafted with love and care for him and him alone to wear.

He had not the heart to tell him it was a collar. He had not the heart to tell him it was a brand of ownership. Declaring him as belonging solely to Hamato Leonardo. There was a tiny lock on the back, one he failed to notice before until he tried to remove it to sleep. A little lock, making it impossible for him to remove it, the key was around his brother's neck. He understood that Leo did this to replace rings, but to lock it on…Donnie couldn't remove it.

Closing his eyes he took a deep breath. They had done nothing more then kiss. Leo had wanted more but when Donnie refused he backed down. He felt sorry for him, he could see how much he wanted it but was so grateful when he accepted his choice, choosing instead to embrace and rest like this.

"You should be sleeping." Leo's voice was deep, showing signs that he was straining to resist. His eyes didn't open and his breathing didn't change, but it was clear he wasn't asleep. "Lack of sleep is bad for the babies." He hummed.

"I'm sorry…" try as he may, he couldn't sleep after that. There were too many unanswered questions and he had so much to fear for right now.

Silver eyes looked to him. "I know it's a lot." He spoke softly. His hand cupping his shoulder. "I know this is all happening so suddenly but…Trust me when I say it will be okay." He kissed his beak lightly. "Raph and Mikey understand. We all talked it over and…"

"Without me?" he said softly. Curling into a tight ball under the covers, pushing his brother away. "You all do an awful lot of talking about me…so little to me." He muttered. Closing his eyes to stop the tears from falling.

"Sometimes we worry about the things we talk about…how you will take them and…" he reached his hand out.

"Good night, Leo." He knew his brother would get the message. 'I REALLY don't wanna talk.' He heard his brother sigh, as well as the clanging of Metalhead's footsteps before he opened the door.

The small robot looked to Leo before finding Donnie. He chirped a bit.

"You're sure?" Donnie asked, sitting up to look at him. He got a chirp in response. "Did you check the…"

Chirp.

"And the…"

Chirp.

"What about the…"

Chirp.

"It has to be there…it's where I had it last…" he moved the covers from himself and shifted to the end of the bed. "Did you look everywhere?"

Chirp.

Leo raised a brow. "Donnie you need to be sleeping. Whatever it is can wait…"

The pregnant turtle glared at him. "It cannot. I am tired, I am moody and I have been neglecting my own therapy while assisting with everyone else's."

Oh, Mikey warned him about the mood swings. This was clearly one of them. "Okay okay. What are you missing? Maybe I can help." He stood up ready to follow him out the room.

"My diaries are gone. Every book and even my most recent one." He crossed his arms. "You don't know where they are do you? I know you all went through my lab when I was gone but I don't think you would be so low as to take my diaries…"

He held up his hands. "No! We didn't touch them. We know how important they are to you and…" shit! In all this time they had been so focused on Donnie they never confronted April about the Diaries. Shit!

"Well I have to find them. I am very close to boiling over and I need to just vent."

"You can vent to me…" He offered.

Donnie shook his head. "If I could do that I would have. I just want my books." He made his way to the door before Leo grabbed his hand. "Leo, stop it."

The hold tightened. "Donnie…Please…wait until morning. Today has been stressful enough. Just…please."

The younger brother waited a moment. The yearning in his voice, almost pleading. Something wasn't right. Something was off. He didn't want him to know what happened to them because the only logical thing that could have been done, was that someone, if not all of them, had read them. "Metalhead…Show footage of every time someone went into the lab."

"Wait…he was deactivated…" Leo panicked. Donnie would find out it was April. He didn't need to know that.

"He was in sleep mode, most of his processes were still active." Donnie corrected.

The robot chirped and his chest opened to show a screen. Video taken from camera's in the bot's eyes. Donnie watched as his brothers searched the lab, day after day trying to find something to help him. Soon they stopped. Then…

His eyes widened. "April?" the image of her knocking the book down. Of her opening it and reading it. Then one after one, she took the others. Opening them in the lab and reading his most privet of words, of thoughts. Things she was never meant to see, feelings that were never meant to be known…of all people, why did it have to be her?

~LRDM~

April cupped her hands over her mouth. She shook her head from side to side as tears streamed down her face. He had to be lying. There was no way…it wasn't…they can't…She turned to Casey who held her tightly as she cried into his shoulder.

"Shhhh. It's okay Red. Relax, calm down." He pet her head gently. He struggled with it as well. The truth that was backed up with facts. It was hard to deny it, even as she heard it from her own father. It didn't make the truth any less a reality.

"April I'm sorry…It is highly likely that the eggs he is carrying will not survive. Turtle and Tortoise DNA is not compatible and by the look on his face…I think he knows that…" Kirby rubbed the back of his neck, showing them the study on such. "They are just too different."

"Then why is he so calm about all of this?! Why is he holding out hope?!" She spat back. "The mutagen! I think he isn't sure! Perhaps the mutagen…it had to of altered Slash's DNA because it was Raph who last touched him! It has to be why! There has to be hope because…because…"

Kirby shook his head. "The mutagen would not have done enough." He looked at her with sorrowful eyes. Reaching out to touch her had but April pulled it away. It was hard to tell her, even harder to see how she was taking it. She spoke of nothing but Donatello these past few weeks and it was starting to worry him. He feared his daughter had an attraction to the turtle. As grateful as he was to him, Kirby was not going o sit by and watch his daughter throw her life away for a mutant.

April burst into tears. Sobbing into her hands. How could she ever face him again knowing this? Would it be kinder to tell him or just let it go? What was she to do? What was she to say? Was it her place to tall him? Was it right to tell him? What she meant to tell the others?

Her T-phone rang. Looking over she figured it was Mikey or Raph but she was shocked to see it was Donnie. What was she to do now? What could she do? Picking it up, she composed herself and put on a brave smile. "Hello Donnie?"

"April…" what was wrong with his voice. Why did it sound so dead compared to earlier?

"Yes? Is everything okay?" she tried to keep her voice as normal as she could. She clutched the phone, wondering if this is fate wanting her to tell him.

There was a small pause. "I would like my Diaries back." Why did his voice sound so broken?

Dread filled her. She had forgotten about them! More so, she couldn't find one and so had been hesitating bringing the others back.

"I know you took them, I saw it on Metalhead's security footage." He sighed softly. "I am not angry with you. I just…I just need them back. Please." There was that desperation and disappointment.

She held the phone tighter. "Donnie…I…If you need to talk I…What I read…I…"

"Was it out of pity?" he asked.

April closed her eyes out of pain. She knew what he was talking about. When she tried to kiss him. "I'm sorry Donnie…What you wrote…I never knew…I thought it a childish crush but…I…Donnie I'm so so so sorry." She could hear a choked sob on the other end. "If you had told me…if you had shown me…they were all so beautifully written…"

"Please…bring them back." She could hear him struggling to keep himself together. "I meant every word in those books…every word."

Her eyes widened with horror. Every word. 'I want to die.' "DONNIE! Donnie where are you?! Where are your brothers?!" She shot out of the chair and looked to Casey. "Call Leo!" she cried out. "How do you used the tracker on here?!" her hands were shaking. Trembling as she fumbled with the buttons.

"I still love you…even after all of this…I never stopped…I doubt I ever will." The line then went dead.

"Donnie…" her voice was low. "DONNIE!"

Casey looked to her, gently pulling her in his arms. "It's okay Red! April…April…talk to Leo listen, talk to Leo." He handed her the phone, pressing it to her ear as she sobbed.

"April…He's fine. I was in the room when he called." He sighed heavily. "He…He is just very upset. A lot happened after you left and…you'll find out more tomorrow. Just go to sleep, I'll keep an eye on him." She heard Donnie's voice in the background but couldn't make out the words. "Don says good night."

~LRDM~

"You're not surprised by that?" he asked. Leaning his head against the stone wall of his room, relishing in the coolness of it. All of that had been too emotionally taxing on him. He hated it. Hated that she knew how he felt and that she was so willing to believe that he would stoop so far as to take his life while he carried innocent children within him.

Leo sat on the edge of the bed, knee bent with his arm across it, head resting on it so he could face him. "We all know. You never stopped. The way you still looked at her…you could never hide it." It hurt, to hear him say it out loud. That he loved someone else. "Yet, I think that is why we tried so hard…the way you look at her…with that cute puppy dog face..." He smiled sweetly. "I guess we wanted you to look at us like that."

Donnie smiled. "Never thought much past kisses and holding hands…" he said softly, feeling better just by talking to him and letting things fall from his heart.

"Kissing and holding hands…quite the pervert there Donnie." Leo teased. Yet, it only went to show…just how innocently his brother thought. Like a child, holding hands and kissing…and he was blushing so deeply.

He looked to him, still smiling as the tears slowly fell. "It would never have worked out. I know that. She always said she wanted kids but…there is no way our DNA would work together…" he looked down at his hands. "We are too different…even so…I cant stop loving her…I don't know if I ever will and you don't deserve a fiancée or wife whom cannot devote themselves to y…"

Leo placed his hand on Donnie's, watching as he slowly raised his red eyes to him. "Donnie…she is your first love. I understand that. You will always have feelings for her. There is nothing wrong with that." He pulled him close, hugging him. "I know you don't feel that way toward me, I can only hope that you can grow to love me like that…as much as I love you." He could not condemn Donnie's love for April, he did not choose to whom his heart belonged no more then he himself could.

"I don't deserve love…not yours and not theirs…" He hugged himself. "I am vial and tainted. Disgusting and horrid." He dug his nails into his arms, yet this time he felt a gentle hand stop him.

"Donnie…" Leo cooed in his ear. "Why do you feel that way? What have you done that you believe this?" he kept his voice calm, soothing as he tried to keep him talking. The more Donnie spoke, the more he was able to understand what was going on in his head and to hopefully aid his brother.

The younger brother was silent at first. Almost fearful of speaking. Yet it was not long until he spoke. "You know what happened…you know what…Slash did." His fingers tensed, trying to claw himself but his brother's own fingers, laced with his, were stopping him. He tried to choke back the emotions. Lowing his head so his brother could not see how truly pained he was. "I…He…" he trembled, his lip quaking. "Leo…I…" He struggled to speak, to get the words out as that pain filled him all over. The pain he had choked back all these weeks, threating to spill over the walls he had created. Those weak and damaged walls that threatened to fall and crumble.

The pain in his voice and the twisted look on his brother's face was breaking his heart. How much of that was still hidden, choked down by sheer will alone? "Shhhh." He soothed him. Gently rubbing his free hand along his cheek. "Take your time, do not rush it." he knew this was a chance, one he could not lose. If he failed this, Donnie may never open up to him again. "When you are ready…I'm here…I'm here."

He kept his eyes turned. Unable to face him as he spoke. "I didn't want to…while he did something like that to me…I didn't want to…" He wanted to pull away and hide but he couldn't. "I know it is just a reaction from the body to protect itself from injury and harm but…I…" he let out a choked gasp, biting back the sob. "It shouldn't have felt like that…after all the pain…I shouldn't have…found pleasure in it. Even if my body did, my mind knew better and…I feel so disgusting so vial for it…"

Leo reached under his chin to turn him back to face him, kissing his forehead. "Donnie, there is nothing wrong with that. It isn't your fault and it doesn't make you vial or tainted…." He smiled softly, wanting to reassure him that there is nothing to worry about. "It doesn't change how we see you. It doesn't change who you are on the inside. You are still Hamato Donatello and you are still my little brother and the one I want to spend my life with. Not just in marriage but together with the others as well. I am not willing to watch them suffer for a decision neither of us want and…"

"I know but…even if we marry…we could always just divorce later…" Donnie was just making a suggestion, one that was not well thought out or even fully planned. Just an idea mostly to try and pacify their father for now.

Leo shook his head trying to hide a chuckle. "We aren't even married and you are thinking of divorcing me?" He rubbed their beaks together and hummed. "You're cruel to me."

Donnie puffed out his cheeks in annoyance. Something he hadn't done since they were tots. "You know what I mean. We can marry for father but later we could divorce…everyone wins…"

"I wouldn't, I'd have to pay turtle support and alimony…" Leo snickered.

Donnie rolled his eyes. "No, you don't have a job, or a house, or a car, no savings…I would be the one forced to pay because I was the one earning income." He scuffed "You don't know much about the laws do you?"

"And how do you know about such laws?" he eyed his brother closely.

Again he puffed out his cheeks. "Some of those books that we found were law books. It all I could read beside 'The Cat in the Hat'." He scuffed and laid his head on his brother's shoulder. "Leo…promise me something…"

"Anything and more." He replied. Holding his brother and pulling the covers over his shoulders. He was going to fall asleep, there was no denying it, just had to wait a bit longer.

Donnie closed his eyes. "Can we wait until after the eggs are born to consummate? I don't want to risk hurting them." He snuggled up closely to him.

The elder brother chuckled and leaned in. "I give you my word, such things can wait." Was he bothered by this? No, Donnie was not asking to never consummate the marriage, just simply asking to hold off til his eggs were laid. He was simply asking to ensure that nothing happen to them. Leo understood that. They had their whole lives to worry about that but…Leo wondered if he really knew what it meant to marry the heir. Donatello was privy to the clan traditions just as all of them were but…marriage traditions they didn't really know, given it was thought they would never need such. It was only after his father told him of his intent that he read into it from his father's privet collection of books baring the Hamato symbol. He wondered if Donnie would be happy with such a life, trapped within the walls of the lair once more only to watch as his brothers and eventually children would come and go. Yet he would stay…forever watching, forever waiting and worrying…

Was that even a life?

Was that simply existing?

He lowered his eyes. Gently rubbing his hand up and down his brother's arm, softly cooing in his ear. Sweet nothings, things to hopefully cheer his brother up given everything that had happened. He could feel him relaxing in his arms. Happy that he was feeling something other then anger and stress. Even if it was just a moment, he was going to do his best to bring peace to Donnie.


	36. Tree and Soil

He felt sick, vial, disgusting…tainted. Try as he may to sleep, Donnie couldn’t close his eyes and accept the sweet blissful darkness and sweet release of unconsciousness. He could only lay there, wondering how dark the bags under his eyes would become when the others woke and greeted the day full of refreshed energy. His eyes stung when he closed them, begging him not to reopen them. He denied them their request and opened them anyway, staring into the darkness.

Leo lay behind him, snuggling close and laying his arm around him, almost as if fearing he would leave again. His soft breaths tickled the back of his neck. He had fallen asleep hours ago. After their night, he could hardly blame him. Leo was trying so hard to make him happy, to keep the family together and please their father. He sadly would never be able to do all three. 

His stomach turned, threatening to expel what little was left in his belly from the party. Sitting up, he was careful not to disturb Leo. He needed to go to the bathroom and there was no needed to wake him for that. Even in his state, Donnie could still do that much without their help. 

It was easy enough to get out of the room, Leo was exhausted and Donnie was after all a trained ninja. The lair was dark and quiet, everyone was asleep. Dread filled him when he remembered that Spike slept on the couch. That he would not allow him to get too far without questioning him and frankly, Donnie didn’t want to be in the same room alone with him without his brothers. Something was off about him and Donnie could not explain his fear of the large mutant all of a sudden but he was and there had to be a reason. Perhaps it was because of how close the was to laying the eggs. He was not sure but it took so much time just to coax himself to look over the railing to check if he was there. Looking over the rails and into the living room, he could see the couch was bare. Spike was not home, much to his relief. 

As much as he tried to bare his presence, the more his belly grew, the more he wanted to keep him away. Something inside him told him it was best. That the large mutant would only harm them if he got to close and his babies were far too precious to risk on a gamble. No he would listen to instinct, it was the safer bet. 

He took one stair at a time, careful on his recovering leg and leaning heavily on the railing. Last thing he needed was to tumble down the stairs. He would never hear the end of it. How dare he sneak off in the middle of the night to use the restroom when he could have any of them escort him the few hundred feet to it? He rolled his eyes. Yeah, he could manage this. 

He was silent as he walked slowly across the large room, still half decorated from the party. Recalling how happy he had been for it and all they were doing for him. Donnie smiled as he walked to the middle of the room before his eyes fell upon the pillar, still stained with his blood. 

‘I WILL NOT HAVE A WHORE UNDER MY ROOF!’ the bruise on his cheek began to throb with the memories that were still so fresh. Those words cut so deeply in his chest that there was little he could do to fight the tears that threatened to fall. It wasn’t his fault? Could his father not see that he hadn’t wanted to…that he had done everything to… his stomach turned and he covered his mouth. Abandoning his thoughts to rush to the bathroom and lock the door with just enough time to expel the bile into the toilet. Dry heaving as the tears flowed freely from his eyes with the force of each convulsion. 

When there was nothing left to give he leaned his head against to the cool tile, looking out into the well lit room with a sudden feeling of dread. He was alone for the first time here. Alone for the first time since Newtralizer tried to violate him purely for the satisfaction of it. He could still remember that cold slimy tongue when it dragged against his skin. The way it felt as it touched him… 

He stood up quickly, stumbling over to the shower and turning the hot water all the way up. Steam billowed from it, even standing a few feet away he could fell the heat and he cracked a smile. Newtralizer didn’t have hot water. They had cold because it slowed him down. For once he was grateful that he had not had his ear on. Grabbing his sponge, rag and favored soap he walked into the hot water, hissing with the sudden burn of it but didn’t leave. He was vial and filthy and had to get clean. 

Taking his sponge he poured a generous amount of coconut scented soap on it, lathing it until it began to form suds before turning it onto himself. He started with his neck, wanting to rid himself of the feeling of Newtralizer’s tongue and the bite Slash had given him. He scrubbed himself hard and deep, not caring when the soap began to sting because that wasn’t good enough. He could still feel them on him. Making in dirty and vial and tainted. If he was going to marry Leonardo he was going to be as clean as he could possibly make himself. He had no desire to taint his brother. 

He turned to look at the mirror, noting the now angry red skin that resided where he had scrubbed himself so raw that his skin was starting to die. It didn’t matter because there was more to clean, far too much more. He set to scrubbing his arms, from his shoulder to his scared wrists where he had been restrained. With the passing of the sponge over his skin he pressed deeper and deeper, feeling the sting of the soap but again he did not let it up. He scrubbed harder and faster. The hot water was near boiling and was going to ensure that he would be cleansed. The soap was to ensure he would be cleaned fully so not a speck of disgust remained upon him. 

His breathing quickened when he gasped for the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Clean…I have to get clean…scub away the filth…tainted…unclean…vial…corrupt…” he wasn’t sure if he was crying or if it was the water from the shower but he kept at his task, cleaning each bit of his skin until it was an angry red and stung with the passing of soap. Yet it was not enough. The process would need to be repeated. There was no other way. He had to rid himself of the filth. From the vial and disgusting feeling of his own skin. 

Donnie hissed as he shifted, leaning against the wall to support himself. Reaching down, he began to scrub between his legs. The place that held the most filth. He swore he could feel the thick warm cum roll down his legs even now. It only made him scub harder as the sponge bit into his sensitive flesh. He pulled up the sponge after a time to add more soap, freezing when he saw the tint of red to the sponge. “Vile…disgusting…tainted…have to get clean…” his hand began to tremble as he added the soap only to move between his legs again. He grit his teeth tightly as the stinging sensation shot through him. He scrubbed himself so raw down there that he opened a wound. “Clean…I have to get clean…” he grabbed the rag, lathered it with his soap and moved between his legs. With his finger, he shoved the rag into himself, digging his nails into the tiles. It hurt…yet it was where he was filthy, vial…why his father had called him a whore. 

‘No one should ever touch you here…’ he recalled his father telling them. ‘Only a very very special person can so that. Someone you are willing to be with for the rest of your life. I can only hope you four would find someone like that.’

“Is that why?” he choked out. “Am I a whore because I let someone touch me here that I didn’t love?” pressing his forehead against the tile he pushed his finger in further, twisting it around to clean what he could. “I did want to…I’m sorry…I’m so so sorry…” his hand trembled as he felt his legs shake. It hurt, it hurt so badly but he had to clean himself. He had to ensure that his filth would not be smeared onto Leo. That their father would not look to his brother the same way he looked at him. With disappointment and anger. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry I am vile…tainted…corrupt…please…I’m sorry…” 

He felt arms wrap around him. A voice curse as the hot water hit them before it was cut off. Carefully the hand he used to clean himself was now gently held at his side as he felt someone kneel down and gasp. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” he repeated. Over and over as he was pulled away from the shower and gently sat on the toilet. His legs were opened wide and it was only then he could see the two thin trails of blood that ran down each of his legs. 

Baby blue eyes fought back tears as his trembling hands wiped at the blood with a fresh rag that he had soaked with water. His brother’s skin was so red and raw, he was sure he had scrubbed the skin away on some parts of himself but what upset him the most was the open and bleeding wound between his legs. When he entered to find his brother in the shower on full display, legs spread and shoving a rag in his ass he wasn’t sure how to take it. That was until he saw the blood oozing down his legs. Mikey had only wanted to use the bathroom and now he wasn’t sure what to do. “It’s okay Dee, I’m not mad…you have nothing to apologize for…”

Yet his words provided little comfort. Donnie was crying and continuing his mantra of apologizes. He didn’t do anything wrong so why was he apologizing for anyway? It wasn’t like he was jerking off or shitting in the shower. He was cleaning himself and Mikey had a pretty good idea why. 

During his down time when he wasn’t taking care of Donnie, he was watching videos on rape victims. He learned all about the panic attacks, self-doubt, self-blaming, anxiety, depressions, hyper sexuality and even thoughts of suicide. Most of which he could see in Donnie or even what he had heard from his brothers. It was only recently he and the others noticed that Donnie was giving in more to them. That he was even guiding their hand to touch his most intimate of places. This fact was not lost on them and he had become enraged with Leo when he had told them about what had happened in the lab. When Donnie was not himself and how Leo had placed himself between his legs. 

Leo had been ashamed of himself, that was clearly seem when he refused to make eye contact when he recounted it to them. Mikey had not held back. He told Leo just how reckless he was and how fucking stupid he was being. That Donnie was hurting and he didn’t understand what he was doing. He was only acting on impulse and he had to be fucking better then that. Leo knew better. He even admitted that much to them but Mikey didn’t feel that was good enough. He warned them both about what Donnie would do and they couldn’t let him get to them like that. Who knows once it was over and the deed was done how Donnie would feel about himself and what happened? It could be enough to drive him to the unthinkable. 

Oh his brother’s had let him have his peace, snapping at them because they knew they deserved it. Mikey wasn’t the one trying to fit between Donnie’s thighs. He was the one trying so damn hard to keep him from slipping down that path. Donnie was only now opening up more and they were fucking going to throw it all away to get their dicks wet and he swore that which ever one of their bone head brother’s ever went through with it he was going to castrate them himself! 

Even so, he had read about the feelings rape victims often felt with themselves. Seeing themselves as dirty and tainted. Leo having confirmed such as coming from Don’s own beak as recent as last night. Mikey expected something like this…he had only hoped it wasn’t him who seen it. 

“Come one Dee…relax…deep breaths…can you do that for me?” He looked up at his brother with a soft and gentle smile. His eyes meeting with those ruby orbs as the mantra slowly died down to silence.   
“I know you were just taking a shower, what’s wrong with that?” he tilt his head and smiled. “Relax, I’m not mad at you…”

“I used up the hot water…” he muttered.

“So, then we wait a little longer for more. Not a big deal. If it weren’t for you we wouldn’t have any hot water so who cares if you used it.” He pat his knee and continued to gently wipe the blood away.

“I’m dirty…”

Mikey shook his head. “How can you be dirty? You scrubbed yourself down and you used most of the hot water to do it. You are cleaner then Leo’s room.” he hummed softly. “I think all we have to do is wax your shell Dee and you would be the cleanest one of us all.” He chuckled softly. Slowly dipping the rag into the bucket and ringing out the bloody water before moving back to wipe the rest. 

“Do you hate me?” 

That made him stop. Baby blue eyes slowly rose to see him looking away. Tears flowed over his bruised cheek. His lower lip quivered as he waited for him to reply. Hands pressed closed to his chest as if protecting himself from the worst response he could get. “Never…” Mikey stood up, gently turning Donnie’s eyes to face him. “I could never hate you…”

“But I’m a whore…”

Anger swelled in him. Their father had done this. He had called him something so fowl so un-fucking-forgivable that the youngest was sure to make time to talk to their father for. It did nothing to help and only turned to victim blaming when he said that. As if Donnie had asked for it or sought it out when both Donnie and Slash had said that it was Newtralizer who put them together. “Dee…you are not a whore…”

“I AM!” he snapped. He smacked his hand away and hugged himself. “I didn’t do enough to stop him…” self-hatred. It’s all Mikey could see in his movements. “I let someone I didn’t love touch me…” he looked to Mikey. “Where only someone I love is allowed…”

“Donnie that doesn’t make you a whore. He took from you, you didn’t give it to him. He forced it from you and we know you fought him to try and protect yourself…” Mikey reached out to try and calm him. 

“I liked it…” he spoke with a cold tone. “…not at first but after a time…when he pushed in so deep and…he hit something in me…it made me feel so good…I tried to make him hit it each time…” his eyes were locked on something that wasn’t there. Hand slowly moving down his neck, down his plastron and lower to his cloaca. Never once looking back at Mikey as he spoke. “I started to enjoy when he…” 

Mikey grabbed his hand to stop him from going lower. He couldn’t risk him reopening that wound again. The bleeding only recently stopped. “Donnie I know it did. He was hitting your prostate and that is what stimulated you. It’s a natural part of your body and how it reacts…” Mikey was guilty of looking up such things as gay porn on his tablet. Things that peeked his interest and he wondered why men moaned so much during sex. He would consider himself well educated on the matter, given he had been able to hit that same spot inside himself once or twice. When his mind wandered to thoughts of this very brother. 

“Can you do that?” he asked. Looking to Mikey with a pleading look. It took him by surprise and he stumbled back a few steps. “It’s the only comfort I got…to ease the pain and…I’m in so much pain…” Donnie stood up, leaning on the wall for support because of his large belly. “Please Mikey…make the pain go away…”

No. No. No. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Donnie didn’t know what he was asking him. He couldn’t understand his feelings and emotions because none of them could process it as clearly as Donnie could theirs. They needed another Donnie but he never opened upto anyone. There was no one he could turn to for this and his diaries were gone and all his emotions were just bottled up and he was turning to the only comfort he knew that worked…

He felt his brother’s head on his neck, resting as a small satisfied chirp escaped him. The sound of it made his cock pulse, yet the smell coming from him screamed of female hormones. “Dee…we can’t…” why did it feel like he had cotton in his mouth? “You don’t know what you are saying and this isn’t what you need…”

“I need you…” he said softly. His beak pressing lightly against his freckled cheek. “Father said not to let anyone touch me…” he took his hand and guided it down to his cloaca. “here…unless it is someone I love…I love you Mikey…so much…it hurts…everything hurts…please…help me…” he moaned when he felt his brother’s finger twitch against his hole. Yet he whined when it was drawn back and his brother stepped away. The look in his eyes speaking volumes. “You do hate me…because I’m tainted…vial…filthy…a whore…” anger rose in his voice at the rejection. All three of them had rejected him. They claim to love him. Claim to want him but when he is so willing they draw away as if touching him burned their skin. 

“Donnie that is not it! I love you so much but this is not going to help you…you need so much more then this…” Mikey’s words weren’t getting through. Donnie was blocking him out as he turned to leave. This was bad. He couldn’t leave Donnie like this…not as angry as he was because the mindset he was in was destructive. Who knew what he would reason as the best course of action for this rejection? “One moment of pleasure will not make up for the endless pain you are feeling!”

The elder turtle stopped. Frozen as he listened to his brother speak.

“I know there is nothing I can do to make this right. That you are going to feel about yourself how you do now and no matter what I or anyone says you are going to feel dirty…” he walked toward him. Hoping what he was saying was getting through. “I don’t want to use you Donnie. Even if you want me to, even if you think it will make you feel better now…I know once it’s over you are going to hate yourself even more then you do now.” He moved closer to him. Ensuring that Donnie dint bolt for the door. 

“I know you agreed to the marriage because dad was hurting Raph. I know you feel helpless and used but you aren’t. You have a choice in all of this. You don’t have to face this on your own, you have us. You think you are a burden and that you don’t want to trouble us with your problems but…this is the furthest thing from the truth. Donnie your feelings and opinions matter and I know we didn’t take them into consideration before and that you feel like your life isn’t your own….” He took Donnie’s hand and held it to his chest. “I’m guilty of thinking I knew what is best for you just like them…that we talk alone about you but so little to you…” red eyes watched him carefully. “I only want to make you happy and I know I’m not the smartest or strongest brother but…Dee…I know when you are suffering in silence and I cant stand by and watch you slowly sink into someone I don’t recognize. You aren’t acting like yourself and I fully understand why bro I honestly do but you need to take a deep breath and think about stuff past the moment like you usually do.”

That hand held onto his, clinging to it as if it were a lifeline. “Past the moment…I see myself with hatchlings, eggs in an incubator and my belly swollen with more to come. I see myself in a different bed each night laying next to someone different then the night before.” He pulled his hand back, as if the touch now burned him. “I see my lab empty, untouched because I have children to care for, mates always rushing to and from the home as my broken dreams laid scattered unseen before them.” His red eyes narrowed. “Yet…all you will see is a smile on my face…because that is what you all need isn’t it? For me to do what is easiest and best for you, right? It makes things easier to bear when I am compliant? When I put you all before myself? Like this…I can see the fear in your eyes. Fear of my eyes…evil…monster…demon…” he looked away. “Do not try and tell me you know about what I am going through. That you understand me because of your books and videos you watched and that you feel you are some sort of expert on it.” 

“I didn’t say that and you know it! Dee, I am not an expert on anything. I am only trying to stop you from making a mistake that you will regret! Trust me….” Mikey moved toward him and was meet with a deep and threatening growl. It sounded almost feral in tone and he stumbled back. “Donnie…it isn’t like that and you know it…”

“Do I?” he snapped. His eyes now seeming to glow crimson in his anger. “You came up with a plan, one that included everyone. One that benefits each of you and placed the burden upon my shoulders. Each night a different mate. Each mating season I belong to one of you. You do realize what over population is right? How can we care for all of those young when none of you work? We were only able to afford everything because I took on a job, I handled the money and I rationed it out. Even then it’s hard to afford medical supplies and food for us and our friends. I will not go to April and her father for finances when I can get them myself. We do not need to burden them.” No, he wouldn’t turn to her. Not anymore. 

Mikey puffed out his cheeks. “I didn’t do it just for us you know! I figured instead of having to deal with Slash alone and being a single mother we could help ease the burden! If we all were in this relationship then we all had an equal hand in it! That no matter who was the father we would all act as if it were us! I only wanted to help Donnie!” tears pricked his eyes. He thought this was the perfect alternative. He thought he had it all planned out. 

“You could have supported me as my brothers.” His tone shifted. Sounding more dead then it had been before. “Yet, each of you thought to try and include yourselves in my life as a mate, knowing I would not take one over the others you sought to include all of you rather then lose out…am I right?” he tilt his head to the side. The look on his brother’s face made it quite clear that he was correct. “I needed my family, my brothers…not lovers. Not more males trying to…” he covered his mouth with his hand as he felt bile start to raise. He was too upset and it was not helping the eggs. He needed to calm down. He needed to go back and rest. 

Mikey ran to him, wrapping his arms tightly around his brother. “Donnie! Come on, you need to calm down you are going to make yourself sick bro!” He patted him on the shell, unsure what more he could do. He had it all planned out. Everything had been perfect but…Donnie…Donnie could see the flaws. He could see how imperfect the plan truly was because it was him who had to bare the burden none of them thought of. Donnie had to give up everything…just so they could become fathers. 

“Mikey…” his voice was so small. “I’m sorry…it was cruel of me to take it out on you…I…I don’t know what to do anymore…” he clung to his brother’s shell, hoping and wishing this was all just a nightmare and he would wake from it to how things used to be. “You were so smart to come up with that…to make everything even…”

Baby blue eyes narrowed. That was a whiplash of emotions. Was this just an intense mood swing? He understood that Donnie wasn’t feeling well and that things were only going to get worse until the eggs were born. “It’s okay Dee, I know it’s just the hormones talking. You’re tired, you’re scared, you haven’t had your normal way of venting. I get that. If talking like that makes you feel better then do it more. Don’t hold back because you are afraid to hurt us.” He felt his brother choke out a sob. “Come on Dee, if you start crying I’m gonna cry too.” He could feel the tears welling in his eyes. His brother was in so much fucking pain. He was dealing with shit that Mikey was sure if the roles were reversed he would have broken. “Dee…I’m not mad. None of us are and none of us blame you for any of this.” 

“It’s my fault…there is no way around it…it’s my fault and I hate myself! I’m too weak to do anything to stop it and all I ever do is mess things up!” he laid his head in his brother’s neck, resting it there as he felt the calming pats on his shell. “I hate how much I began to enjoy it…how much I craved to be pushed over the edge…to escape the pain…if only for a moment…’ his legs gave out and he began to fall only to be caught by his brother and slowly lowered to the floor. “What am I supposed to do? It keeps playing in my head over and over again…in an endless loop…each moment…I feel it…on my skin…filthy…tainted…”

The scent of blood drew Mikey back. His brother had clawed at his arm again, tearing open the scabs and letting the blood flow. “Donnie you need to stop!” he grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away. 

Donnie froze. His body stiffened and his eyes widened. His breaths were short, quick and shallow. Fearful. His eyes were looking at him but they did not see. “Only good…one thing…” he muttered. “One…thing…” his eyes looked down, trembling hands gently moving to hold his belly. “Don’t mix…too different…” he clenched his teeth. “Not enough…too many unknown variables…too many…too different…” 

“What are you talking about? I don’t understand…” what was he to do? What was he to say? Was this something that he was supposed to understand? Should he get Leo or Raph? No, he didn’t need them he could handle Donnie without them. Each of them had more time with their brother and he wanted his share too. He was old enough to handle it. 

Then he felt his brother’s lips on his own. His eyes widened and he pulled away, staring at Donnie with bewilderment. “Dee?” the other said nothing, turning to expose his neck. Offering him a clear view of the bite mark Slash had left during their mating. His cock pulsed and he growled at himself for feeling aroused by the act of submission. “Dee?” 

“I don’t want to feel him…I don’t love him…please…” he held his hand on the mark, digging into it before Mikey stopped him. “I feel him…them…please…” 

“Them? Donnie, you only said it was Slash…” His eyes narrowed, tightening his hold on his brother’s wrist without realizing it. Was there someone else who dared to fucking lay their hand on his brother?!

His lips parted as he tried to breathe. The room was spinning and he could see him. That newt mutant. “He tried…Sl-Spike stopped him…I don’t love them…please…I don’t want to feel them anymore…”

Mikey’s eyes were drawn to the necklace. A huge part of him knowing exactly what it was and what it meant. That was his mark of engagement to Leo. The damn fool took something beautiful and made it a god damn thing of claim. Like a collar placed upon a pet. “Donnie answer honestly, do you think it will be better if it was me?” he knew the answer. Donnie was not thinking clearly and would grow to regret this. 

There was a long silence between them. One that showed he was trying hard to think. Soon his brother calmed down, body relaxed and his head was lowered. “No.” he choked out. Looking up at those baby blue eyes with a look of deep sorrow and confusion. “Mikey…it hurts…” 

He laid their foreheads together and sighed. “I really wish I could take away the pain bro. Even for a moment but… you and I both know it is only a band-aid. We’ll both come to regret it. I need you to understand I’m not rejecting you, I love ya bro, ride or die style. I just don’t think now is the time…let alone in the freaking bathroom.” He chuckled softly. “Think it should be more romantic…like on a beach…at sunset…with a dolphin jumping in the horizon.” He heard his brother snort, this causing a wave of joy to wash over him. Donnie was there. 

“Ride or die?” he rolled his eyes. “A dolphin, really?” he gave him a light hearted push. “Here I thought you would wine and dine.” He couldn’t help but smile. His little brother was a romantic fool. 

The younger turtle raised his brow. “Oh I have every intention of winning your affection through a nice dinner, it’s just…you don’t ever freaking eat like you’re supposed to!” he puffed out his cheeks, moving to wrap his arm around his brother’s middle when a low growl warded him away. “Easy tiger mom, I’m just going to help you up okay?” 

“Don’t touch…” he snapped. 

It was no secret Donnie was getting more protective of his belly. No one was allowed near it and he would literally take a bite at anyone who did. Honestly, he almost got a good chunk of Raph the other day. “Fine, can I do under the arm then?” he got a nod. Donnie was heavier…not that it was any surprise. On his thin frame his belly looked fucking huge.

Just as he was helping him up, the door to the bathroom burst open. Leo stood there panting heavily and stared at them a moment. His hand tensed at the sight of his fiancée in their brother’s arms but that would have to wait. “I was so worried…” he ran over to help Donnie. “April called and I woke up to see you gone…I fucking panicked…” he sighed with relief. 

“Bro, he’s fine chill. Just had to use the bathroom okay.” Mikey wasn’t about to talk about what happened. Not yet at least. “And why was April calling so early?” that was…odd.

“She and her father are on the way here with Casey. A few minutes ago a kunai shattered their window and had a note. The foot are demanding that we meet with them to talk about alternatives. They want Donnie and willing to make a trade for Karai.”

A small twang of fear rushed through Donnie. Would their father consider it? To trade the whore for his precious daughter?

“Sensei is wanting us all to go but I don’t want to leave Donnie alone…” Leo sighed, rubbing the back of his head. “They already said most of their men would be there, to show good faith and that it’s not a trick…” he bit his lip.

Mikey wasn’t sure what to make of it. “I don’t like it one bit bro.” they walked Donnie to the couch and sat him down. Raph and Sensei were talking, silencing when the others set him down. 

“Leatherhead isn’t picking up, Slash is on his way and April and her father are going to be delayed because they are trying to ensure they aren’t being tailed.” Raph reported in.

Splinter looked to his pregnant son. Noting to the necklace and allowing himself to smile. Leonardo had proposed and Donatello had accepted. One less thing to worry about. “I will need you three with me to discuss. This maybe a trap but…perhaps Saki is desperate enough to want to talk.” He was highly skeptical but still, if there was even a sliver of hope that his Miwa would be returned to him…

“What are we gonna do about Donnie?” Mikey asked. Clearly they weren’t planning on taking a highly pregnant turtle with them…were they? If they were, he was gonna fucking flip. 

Splinter stroked his beard. “I am unsure…How long before the O’Neils get here?” he looked to Raph who texted her only to wait a moment for a ding. 

“Three hours, they want to head out to New Jersey and back before they feel safe enough to come to the lair.” Raph replied, clearly not happy with the knowledge.   
Donnie sighed. “Go. I’ll be fine for three hours.” All eyes turned to him as if they didn’t believe him. “Metalhead has the security update I gave him, I know the evacuation route to the new layer, I created the fail safe drills and I know I can handle being alone for a few hours. I am not a child. I am not an invalid.” Ge looked up to them with a determined gaze. “If there is a chance to get Miwa home we need to take it. Just be careful please…” 

The others all looked at each other before turning to Splinter, in the end it was his choice as the clan head. He closed his eyes and stroked his beard. There would be times like this in the future as well. When they would have to leave him. Perhaps this would be good for him, perhaps it is the best course of action. Given he had not been alone since he came home, some solitude may improve his attitude. “Very well. We will go and meet with Shredder. I want you to say in lair and so help you if you leave Donatello…” He shot him a dark glare. He was not joking about this. If Donatello left, he would stop at nothing to bring him home and the consequences for such disobedience would be far more severe then a slap to the face. 

The young turtle turned his head submissively at the tone in his father’s voice. His hand going to the bruise on his face. “I understand. I give you my word I will not leave the lair.” He tried to sound brave, but it came as a soft whisper. 

“Donnie boy…” Raph went to move to him before he was pulled back by Splinter. He glared darkly at him, jerking his wrist from his father’s hold. “Don’t touch me.”  
“Keep at it and I will work on your attitude next!” he warned, baring his teeth at his disrespectful child. “Now let’s go. We have a short time before Saki thinks we are upto no good.” He turned and ran from the lair. 

Mikey looked back at Donnie, still sitting on the couch with his hand to the bruise. He wanted to say something, anything but no words escaped him. So he offered him a small smile. “We’ll be back before ya could miss us bro.” he took off after their father. 

Raph looked to Leo with a deep frown. “A fucking collar? Possessive much?” he pointed the sai at his face. “I swear ta what eva fuck’en god is listen’en, if he so much as lays a finger on Donnie again…I’m take’en ‘im outta here with or fuck’en without ya. I aint gonna deal with Pop’s threaten’en ‘im.” He placed his hand on Donnie’s shoulder and knelt down. “Hey, deep breaths okay? We’ll be home just like da bonehead said. Take care and just relax while we are gone, ‘kay? Watch ‘dem docuseries ya like so much.” He smiled at him and reached for a bottle of water he had grabbed for himself, placing it in the pale green hand. “Drink dis up before I get back.” He kissed his forehead and glared at Leo. Without another word he took off. 

“I wont let father hurt you.” The eldest was determined to ensure his words rung true. Sitting before his fiancée on the floor he took his hands in his own. “I promise.” He smiled at him, stroking his cheek softly before kissing the corner of his mouth. “I will keep our brother’s safe and we will come home with Miwa.” He smiled softly as he saw his brother’s eyes turn to him.   
“Please…don’t leave me alone in this cruel world.” Tears welled in his eyes. “I don’t want to be the reason…I don’t want to lose you all…” he lowered his head to his brother’s, letting the tears fall from his eyes. “Please come home.”

Leo held him tightly. Cooing softly to him. “I will bring them all home. I promise you, Hamato Donatello, my beloved, my moon…my life…I will bring them all home.” He wiped away his tears with the back of his hand. “Rest now my love.” He kissed his cheek and rose. He watched as Donnie’s eyes widened, tears falling freely now, as he held his hand out, reaching for him. “I love you…”  
“Daisuki da yo…” was his broken response. 

“So desu ka?” Leo froze in place, staring at his brother before he heard their father call his name. He sighed heavily before taking off down the tunnels, running to catch up to his brother’s and father. He could only hope and pray that Donnie would be okay. Yet, there was strange feeling that nagged at him. Something that he couldn’t quite place that warned him not to leave. He looked to his brothers and they seemed to have the same worried looks on their faces. Something was eating at them, what they could not say but something told them, perhaps instinct, this day was going to be unforgettable. 

~LRDM~

“Are you sure they will come?” Bradford grumbled as he stood next to the caged serpent mutant, she was sedated but awake. She had nearly bitten him and he was far from pleased about it. Crossing his arms he looked to Xever who was fiddling with his butterfly knives.   
“Oh, si. I am sure they will show. We have the girl, that is enough to get them here.” He offered a smile before looking ahead toward Tigerclaw and their master. He hated how much favor that fucking pussy cat had. 

Shredder stood out over the edge of the rooftop, looking out at the city. This was a gamble yes, but Tigerclaw made a valid point. Even with the chance they could take Karai, this would greatly narrow down the location of their home. “You better not fail me!” he turned and glared at the tiger mutant. Far from please that he had to even risk his daughter.   
“I assure you, if all goes to plan, you will have the turtle you seek.” The tiger smirked and looked out at the city as well. He was amazed by the sheer information gathered by his master on the turtle, to the point of near obsession. There was far more on the purple one then his previous obsession of the blue one. While his leadership and skills were amazing, it amazed him how long it took for him to realize the purple one was responsible for most of their wins. 

The Shredder grunted. His eyes never looking away from the city. His eyes focused, determined. He needed this turtle. He needed him on his side. It was going to be a challenge to break him, but Shredder was sure he could force him to submit. Everyone had their breaking point, he just had to push him past that point. Would it be beatings? Psychological manipulation? Starvation? Dehydration? Torture? Blood? Physical pain? Mental anguish? Perhaps he should make a list and just check off what doesn’t work? He smirked under the mask. Breaking the spirit was half the fun. “What do you know of the turtle?”

“He is a quite one. Physically weaker then the others, but his intelligence is unmatched even by the rat.” Tigerclaw turned to him, eyeing him closely. “Tell me, honestly, you do not plan to return him do you? You desire to keep him for your army.”

A dark chuckle emitted from him. “So quick witted.” He glared at the mutant out of the corner of his eye. “Take all those gadgets he makes, where do they come from?”  
“Trash. Everyone knows this.” The mutant tilt his head to the side. He wondered what his master was getting at. 

Shredder turned to him. “Exactly, he can turn everyday junk into weapons that can stop highly trained ninja! Imagine now what he could accomplish with my empire funding it! I thought Stockman was smart but him…I could rule the world with his mind under my command!”

“He will not break easily. I have seen him fend off those who have powerful minds.” He was weary of the boy helping. He maybe weak but he was a stubborn one. A pacifist, meaning if he knows harm would befall others he would be willing to die before he aided in mass genocide. “He is overly fond of his family, perhaps you should take a second turtle to ensure his cooperation?” the boy would obey far easier that way. 

He scuffed. “Far too much work to keep two turtles contained, feed and taken care of.” He wouldn’t risk it, one was going to be a challenge on it’s own let alone two. Even so, if he did decide it would possibly be that orange one. He ran his mouth a lot but they made drugs to aid in silence. No, he wouldn’t risk it. He would have to break him.   
“Turtles have been spotted.” Bradford called out. “The east and west teams have spotted them. Seems they are going to regroup before coming here.” The mutant wolf walked closer though the look he got from his master stopped him dead. 

Shredder scuffed and looked to him. “Stay and guard Karai, your life depends upon it.” He looked to Tigerclaw. “They are not foolish, I am sure they know we are trying to pull something. See to it that we do not fail!”

“Yo, Shred-head, we’re here for our date!” Mikey snickered as he and his family landed on the roof just opposite of Shredder and his goons. 

Raph held out his sai, aiming it at him. “Just to warn ya now, we don’t kiss on the first date.”

“Enough!” Splinter snapped. Turing to face Saki though his eyes were on his caged daughter. “We have come, just like you asked. Let us talk and discuss peace.”

Shredder’s fingers twitched. He wanted to tear him apart, but he knew that using his son against him would be far sweeter revenge. “Yes…Let us talk.”

~LRDM~

Why couldn’t he stop this feeling of dread? Why couldn’t he shake the feeling something awful was going to happen? He tried to push it back, to choke it down and believe it was only because of his eggs that his nerves were on edge, being alone in the lair…it felt so large and empty. He felt to small…

Standing up was a struggle but he needed to move. His back was killing him and his belly was hurting so fucking much. It wasn’t nausea, he had that before…no it was something more. Perhaps just his worry and stress getting the better of him? That had to be it. He had to calm down, for his eggs. 

‘Dig…’ he jerked away. Looking behind him for the voice but found no one. His eyes darted all around. Looking, searching for the one who spoke to him. Nothing. No one was there, no sound. Just the empty lair and his strained, panicked breaths. “You are losing it…” he muttered. Clinging to the plastic bottle of water, he slowly undid the lid and took a quick sip.

‘You must dig…’ he turned again, this time yeeting the bottle as fast and hard as he could. Water splattered to the ground, the bottle hit the pillar before falling with a crunch. His hand trembled. What the hell…what was going on? “Metalh…”

He couldn’t finish. There was suddenly a sharp pain in his belly. He gasped and held onto the side of the couch, his hand instinctively grabbed for his belly. Another wave of pain rushed through him and he cried out in pain. ‘Dig…’ the voice was louder. ‘You must dig…’ he looked around, searching everywhere but found nothing. “Hurts…” he grit his teeth and moved toward the kitchen. He needed pain killers, he knew they had them in the cabinet. He just needed to…

He froze in place. Eyes wide. His breath caught in his throat as time seemed to slow to a halt. No…Not now…not like this…too soon…it was too soon…Slowly, ever so painfully slowly did he lower his eyes down. A feeling of pure terror filled him as he saw the floor, soaked with his fluids. ‘DIG…’ he looked around. Everything was concrete and stone…there was no where soft that he could dig, there was no dirt ther…

Donatello turned toward the dojo. His legs trembled as he moved forward, each step sending another wave of excruciating pain through him. Each movement sending more fluid down his thighs and legs, leaving a trail from the large puddle. 

‘DIG…’ the voice cried again. Urging him forward. 

‘DIG…’

‘DIG…’

‘DIG…’

“Dig...” Donnie’s own voice joined the mantra. He leaned against the door way of the dojo, looking toward the tree. He could smell the soil that it grew from. There was large enough gaps between the tatami mats that he could fit through. He needed only to get there. He need to move. “Coming…” he choked out. Slowly stumbling forward. Tears flowed from his eyes as he tried so very hard to push himself forward despite the excruciating pain. “Dig…coming…dig…have to…dig…”

He reached the edge, but there wasn’t enough space to his liking. He growled, lowering himself to his knees before taking his claws and ripping into the wood, tearing the edge to make it wider. He tossed the broken wood as far as it would go, not caring where it would land. “Dig…Dig…have to…coming…dig…dig…” his hands were cut by the broken and splintered wood but he didn’t care. There was more for him to do…he had to dig. 

“Dig…have to…coming…” he looked at the gap, smiling for a moment as he looked down at the treasure below. His hand reached out, touching the soil. “Dig…coming…dig….” He sank his long claws into the soft dirt and kicked it back behind him. “Dig…dig…dig…” he moved faster as another wave of pain rolled through him. He couldn’t stop. There was no time. There was no time. 

Coming…

Dig…

The eggs were coming…


	37. Heartbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: graphic depictions of birth, domestic abuse/domestic violence. Read at your own risk!!!

April trembled as she reread the note for the thousandth time. Though she had never seen it, she knew this had been written by the Shredder's hand. It only added to the fear of losing Donnie to those monsters. Yet, why did she care so much? In the last few months…she couldn't rest without finding him and once they had…all she wanted to do was being in his arms. She hugged herself sightly. Why was she feeling so drawn to him now more then ever? Why did she care for him above the others, above even her own boyfriend?! What would Casey think of all this? Given everything they had been through, given all he had scarified for her? He loved her, it was clear as fucking day he loved and adored her and tried his best to make her happy but…she was finding it so hard to return his affections. Now she had to worry about the Foot Clan knowing where they lived. They weren't safe in New York but she wasn't going to leave. No matter what, she was going to stay!

Her father was far from pleased by any of this. The foot clan knew where they lived, they knew the connection to the turtles and frankly it was getting out of hand. As much as he owed to them, he had to think about his daughter above all else. They couldn't stay in New York, not anymore and he was going to tell her they were moving very soon. Now unfortunately was far from the right time but, within the next month or two they would say their final good byes and leave behind that world forever.

"He is alone…" she wiped her eyes. "The turtles left with Splinter…no one is there with him! I don't like it!" She clung to the phone, wanting to call Donnie and check in but his brothers only just left. It wouldn't look good and perhaps he would think they were babying him too much. He seemed pretty annoyed by it at the baby shower. He was never one who liked to be the center of attention.

"It's okay." Casey cooed softly, rubbing small circles on her lower back. "Donnie is a big turtle, I am sure he will be fine. If anyone can handle being alone it's him." He recalled how he would spend hours in his lab, alone and working on whatever project he had at the time. More so he just wished to reassure her. April hasn't been right since her father told her about the babies possibly not making it. Hard as it was to face science, Casey himself would not lose hope. Hell he even stepped away to do something he hadn't done in a long time. He got on his knees and prayed. He prayed for April, he prayed for Donnie, most of all, for the babies. Knowing the soft hearted turtle, losing even one of them…he dared not to think of it. Hopefully the man upstairs would find it in his heart to bless them.

She shook her head. "He hates being alone." She reached in her bag and pulled out the diary. "He says it right here." She pointed to it, clearly written about how he felt disconnected from his brothers. That no matter how hard he tries there always seems to be a gap that divides them. He hates being alone, even if working on projects, he yearns for someone to talk to.

"There is nothing you can do about it now, sweet heart, you can only do so much. It is up to him to make the changes needed in his life to make things better. You cant expect to change his world out of the blue just because of what you read." Kirby sighed softly. She was so much like her mother. Always trying to help those in need.

"He deserves it! After all he has been through…" she hugged her legs to her chest. "after all I put him through…" tears flowed from her eyes. She was the cause of most of his stress and suffering. She had treated him so horribly and yet all he could see was what made her great in his eyes. Never once did he write something foul about her. Only ever love and admiration. Never once did he write sick fantasies of them being together, the only thing she could find was that he dared to dream of holding her hand and kissing her.

"Red, you cant blame yourself for any of that. Donnie knows he pushed you over the line, he even wrote it himself. You set your boundaries and I am afraid there was no other way." Most of what was written was before he met them. He couldn't argue anything before that. Most of what Donnie wrote he could agree with, seeing her in much the same light. Yet, Donnie sought to protect and defend her. April didn't need defending. She was a strong woman. Donnie could see that now. Yet, to hear about what he felt even as they were together. It did make him uncomfortable. April was his girlfriend, he trusted and loved her, but he wouldn't just lay back and let him take her.

Kirby became even more upset. After all, he wasn't there for most of this. To hear this…on top of what he read in those books that April kept in her bags…the Diaries…He was going to have a heart to heart with Donatello. He clearly had feelings for his daughter and he was not going to just sit by and let him sway her or guilt trip her into a relationship. He was a fucking mutant turtle for crying out loud! A pregnant one at that! He didn't need his daughter to feel responsible for him and his babies! He didn't need her wanting to blow off her studies to try and support them! That is why the needed to move to get out of New York, far away from the Foot Clan, The Shredder, the Kraang and all the fucking mutants that seemed to be drawn to his only child. Even more so…he needed to get her away from Donatello, lest he fear the look in her eyes…the same look her mother used when she looked at him in their youth.

~LRDM~

A table had been set up, pillows brought out as well as two glasses and a tea kettle. The two clan heads sat across from each other. Rivals, enemies. Splinter's ears stood at attention, twitching with each and every sound. Shredder was oddly at peace, not fearing anything as he poured the tea for the man he hated the most. Once the kettle was set down, Splinter took the tea and poured Shredder's cup.

"I do not see the son in question." Shredder was clearly annoyed at the lack of attendance. Though he could understand their precaution. He clearly had the upper hand, they were playing it wise, erroring on the side of caution.

Splinter set the kettle down and took the glass in his hands. "The injuries he received have not fully healed. He was unable to make the trip without fear for his health." Not a full truth but not a lie either. Donnie's pregnancy was affecting his health. "I am sure you can understand this decision. It seems you desire him at full health."

"A momentary lapse of judgement I assure you, I wanted him alive and unharmed." He glared at the pig mutant, covered in bandages from his punishment. "I assure you, the party responsible had been delt." he turned back to the rat, his hand balling into a fist. Oh how he could easily slit his furry throat. He could do it too. Just a quick swipe and it would all end. Even before his sons could stop him. His eye twitched. No, then he would lose any chance he had to gain Donatello. If he killed the rat, there was no hope of making the turtle comply.

The old rat nodded, sniffing the glass of tea to ensure nothing had been added. "While I do believe you desire my son alive I cannot help but wonder what that truly entails for him." He was not truly considering trading his son to Shredder. While he knew the man would never hard his daughter, there was no guarantee of such for his son.

"I desire for him to create the retromutagen to change Karai back." He tapped the glass of tea, impatiently. "Once he has done so I will release him." This of course was a lie. He had no intention nor desire to let such a mind go to waste on the likes of them. While he could find little value in the others, Donatello was the only one well worth it.

Splinter stroked his beard. "Why not allow us to take Karai? My son can change her back much quicker from his own lab then one that is foreign to him." He counter offered. If he was able to get Miwa back, he was sure he could convince her to stay with him.

Shredder growled. "I would not trade her to you without collateral." He wasn't stupid and Yoshi seemed to feel he was. There was nothing that could be more upsetting then to think he would give her up with the tide tilting in the rodent's favor.

"You can take me then." Splinter offered, all at once he heard his son's complaints. He raised his hand and they were silenced. "I am willing to come without a fight, in exchange you give my sons Miwa. When she is healed, we will return her to you and I shall go free." It was a long shot. There was a huge chance at betrayal but the only life lost would be his. It would also prevent his nightmares from coming true. From Donatello becoming a Foot Ninja.

The Clan leader laughed in his enemy's face. It was too rich. "You think you are smart. Offering yourself? That is rich even from you!" he set the tea down and leaned forward. "I am afraid at the moment, your son holds more value to me then even you do." He gestured to his men. "I have made a promise to them as well, for their loyalty, I will ensure they become human. I can not stop what they may do if I can not do so." He leaned back. "Word in the underground as, your son has a handsome bounty for live retrieval by the Kraang. Other mutants not affiliated with me are searching for him as well." He crossed his arms over his chest. "It would be a shame to lose him to those whom you can not trust."

Saki was smart. He expected nothing less from the man he once called brother. This was a game. The chance for a clear winner was not so cut and dry. Donatello was at risk no matter what he decided, be it by Saki or the others that sought him. With the creation of the retromutagen, his son had sealed his fate. "So I am safe to assume you will accept only my son, Donatello?"

"You assume correct." He took the mask off. His face clearly seen as he picked up the tea and took a sip. "I can assure his safety. I can assure he will have access to things he could only dream of. Technology he could only read about. One step closer to being part of the world above." He smirked. "Imagine if only he had been born human. What wonders could he have accomplished? What discoveries could he have made? What would the world be like…if his mind were put to far better use…then tinkering with filth and trash?"

Splinter's ears lowered. "If only." He stated lowly. His heart ached. Even knowing the man was simply trying to entice him. Offering glamorous things but there was little to show for it. His son held no safety with him. There was nothing to stop him from hurting him. Nothing to change the fact that there was little he could do and offer to ensure Miwa would come home.

Leo narrowed his eyes. "Shredder is playing games." He scuffed. His grip on his ninjatos tightening as he stood a head of his brothers. Even from the start it was made clear Shredder had the upper hand. More men, more leverage…they were playing into his hand. Perhaps this was the dread he was felling? Yet, it wouldn't explain the pull he felt to go back home, to be with Donnie.

"What are we gonna do?" Mikey asked, perching on top of the water tower's railing just above Leo. He didn't like this. Looking out he could see easy pickings and those that would be hard to fight, the ones they called mini bosses such as Rahzar and Fish Face. None of them were happy to see Tiger Claw again, he was nearly on par with Shredder when it came to fights. For once, he was glad to have Slash on their side.

The large mutant turtle glared. He wasn't expecting to be called out on a mission. Frankly, he was far from in the mood to deal with the Clan shit that Raphael was so adamant that he take place in. He wanted to get home to his mate, to his Donatello. Not piss around with the affairs of them trying to get the rat's snake of a daughter back. He met the bitch and needless to say he wasn't a fucking fan. The woman was far from his mate, a far cry from perfection.

Raph was sitting on the roof's edge, one leg bent as the other dangled off. Sais singing as he twirled them. "So, If it comes down to it…whose gett'en who?" he had his eye on a few rematches he wanted to settle. Mostly out of spite and to put those cocky bastards in their place. He wasn't about to fuck around anymore. He was out for blood because less of them meant less people after his brother. He didn't give a fuck if Splinter approved of killing or not, he was going to do whatever the fuck he needed to protect his brother.

"You don't think dad will really trade Donnie…Do you?" Mikey's voice was small, as if he were talking to himself. He was worried, given what had happened and how quick their father had been to strike Donnie for showing even the smallest of defiance toward him. Not to mention what he called him…would he consider it?

The eldest sighed heavily. He didn't want to consider it. Donnie was just as important as they were to Splinter. What happened was just a heated argument gone awry…wasn't it? "I don't think so." Was all he managed to say. Not fully decided either way. He was worried, perhaps their father considered it as a course of action. After all he had told him that is what a leader needed to do. Think of every possible outcome and plan for it. One of the possibilities was him turning Donnie over to the Foot Clan and Shredder. There was little doubt if he did it would be after the eggs had been born. Handing over a pregnant turtle…it would be too hard to explain and too hard to plan for more outcomes. Donnie would also refuse to give birth while in the hands of the enemy, let alone even allow himself to be traded as far along as he was. No, he was sure Donnie would not back down if his babies lives were hanging in the balance. Even against their father.

"Didn't sound too convincing there Fearless." Raph slapped the sai into the brick, cracking it in several large pieces. "Mikey, Splinter, even if he does agree, I wont let it happen." He looked to his little brother. That face…just what happened in the bathroom between him and Donnie? "I aint gonna fuck'en let nobody put their hands on him. Sure as fuck not any of them low life pricks!"

Rahzar snarled. "Who you calling low life? At least we don't live in the fucking sewers!" He snapped. Teeth exposed as he took a step toward them. Even if they were on the other roof he could hear every word they said. There was doubt in their voices on if their so called father would make the trade. Interesting to think that something had caused tension within their closed family.

"Easy, do not forget what Master Shredder had said. We are to guard his daughter." Fishface reminded him. He was not about to get into trouble again because of other's failures. He had had enough of the beatings because of them and he was not about to suffer more because the brute let childish taunts get to him.

Bebop snorted. "Y'all do know like…them are teenagers right? Fifteen?" he tilt his head to the side. "Bradford…you're like what…fifty?"

The wolf mutant turned to the warthog and growled. "I am thirty-three!" he snapped, watching as the pig winced and fell over. He smirked, still he could scare the shit out of that bastard any day. Him and Stockman were easy as fuck to intimidate and boss around. Weak willed buffoons.

"Okay okay! My bad man, blame it on the messed up mutagen making you look older. I'm just saying, they are kids my man, let their childish words roll off ya…" he held his hands up, hoping he wasn't going to get another beating from someone other then Shredder. One fucking mistake and he was beat nearly to death.

"Yeah Rahzar! Listen to Pumba! We are just a bunch of immature kids!" Mikey called out. "Act your age bro or go back to preschool!" He loved taunting them. They always were easy to rile up just because of a few lame jokes. They were nearly as easy to provoke then Raph was.

"Pumba?! Who ya call'en Pumba you…you…Oogway looking motherfucker!" Bebop shouted back, waving his arms around as Rocksteady held him back. "Let me go ya Russian Bastard! I wanna tear into his stupid ass!"

"Was it not you comrade who said they were just childrens?" he tilt his large head to the side, not sure why his friend was upset. Pumba was an awesome character from the movie. A little show but very loyal.

Mikey snickered. "One often meets his destiny on the road to avoid it!" he shouted back. Laughing even more as Bebop was restrained by Rocksteady. Given their relationship, he wondered if they were finally going out. "Listen to your boyfriend!"

"Michelangelo!" The sharp tone from his father shut him up quickly.

Splinter sighed. "Forgive them…they each handle stress in different ways." He didn't need him aggravating the army of Foot Clan Ninja. They were severely outnumbered. No reason to provoke a sleeping bear if there was no cause to do so.

The Leader of said clan turned back to him after glaring at his men. That pig was becoming more of a burden then anything. "It was my clan that started it. Though I will ask you keep your sons in line." He huffed. The orange one was the most annoying of them all.

Oh that was a low blow coming from him but Splinter simply shook his head. "I will if your men in deed learn to act their age. Teenagers are quite rebellious at this age." He smirked and sipped his tea. "I am sure you would agree." Of course he was referring to Miwa and her rebellion of Shredder when the truth finally came to light.

~LRDM~

"What?! You can't be serious!" April looked behind them. Sure enough the same car that had been following them for the last three miles was there. Black, sleek, unmarked and with dark tinted windows. Clearly the poster child for cliché bad guy car. "We can't go to New Jersey it will take too long! Donnie needs us!" she didn't want to leave him alone any longer then they had to. The last thing in the world he needed was to be left alone with his thoughts.

Kirby sighed softly. "April, we don't have a choice. If we are being trailed we need to be sure we lose them before going else we could be playing right into their hand by leading them to him. Donatello will be fine." He wanted to comfort her but there was so little he could do. He promised to take them to the turtle's home but needless to say he was going to ensure their safety above all else. Stopping now would only leave them open for attack.

"But…" she was pulled back by Casey.

"Listen to him. We have someone tailing us right now and there is no doubt they plan on us leading them directly to Donnie. The turtles all being gone is obviously what they planned on." Yet, even to him that was too obvious. There had to be more going on that they remained unaware of. The Foot were clever when they really wanted to. If it was them in that car, they were too noticeable. As if they wanted to be seen. Perhaps their goal was not to follow them to Donnie, but ensure that they stayed away.

She sat back in the seat, arms crossed and clearly agitated. "I could just use my powers to disabled the car…" she muttered. Mostly just a joke before she realized the possibility. Perhaps she could! What if she pulled the right wire? What if she stalled the engine or drained all the oil?

"No! We don't even know for sure if that is them. It could be an undercover cop." Kirby pointed out.

Both teens looked at each other before they rolled their eyes. Yeah, her father was still very new to the whole Foot Clan of Ninja. It was them. They knew it deep down and after some time you got a sixth sense for this. "Still, it is a possibility." She muttered.

"Jellybean, I know that you are worried, we all are. Donatello is pregnant and alone, his mind isn't in the right place…" he realized that he was only making it worse. Why was he so bad at this? "What I am trying to say is that even with everything that happened…From what I seen of him he is doing fairly well all things considered."

She scuffed. "All things considered what would you have done in his situation?" she snapped. She was being hard on her father yes. She loved him so dearly but he could be so…so…detached.

"I cant say…I haven't been…well you see the thing is it wouldn't be the same…I don't have the genitalia to…" his face was red as he felt the heat raise. "I…I just…well…" he shook his head. "I don't know okay." He wasn't a mutant turtle, he wasn't a female and he wasn't pregnant. How was he to know what he was going through?

April sighed. "That is exactly what I'm trying to say! Donnie is many things but…even he has limits and his sanity and mental health have been plummeting. You and I wont see it. None of them are telling us anything and it is frustrating!"

Kirby shook his head. "You cant expect them to. You aren't his family April, they have no obligation to tell you anything and I know it hurts but you need to respect their wishes."

"But I lived with them! I trained with them! I fought with them! I am family, Master Splinter even told me so!" he did. When she was living with them and helping them by buying much needed supplies. He even told her he thought of her as his daughter.

Casey sat back, fiddling with his phone reading over the texts from Raph from the past few weeks. Mostly just him asking questions and shooting ideas off of him. Even if him dating April put a strain on their relationship, Raph still went to him as a best friend. He recalled them talking at the baby shower.

"So how has Slash been acting?" Casey asked watching as the large mutant was talking to Leatherhead. They both seemed to be enjoying the other's company.

Raph rubbed the back of his neck. "Been as good as he can. Ain't like adjust'en is easy. He isn't used ta us and hav'en ta be more civil. I mean he wasn't like this fer long ya know." He shifted his wight from one leg to another. "Donnie aint so fond of it. When Slash gets close…ya can see how much he is on alert. Hell the last time Slash touched him he froze in pure terror, beg'en 'im not ta…ya know."

"Do you think it's a good idea to keep them so close? I mean if he is acting like that…" Casey wasn't sure if he could even give advice on this. He was just some dumb punk, what could he possibly say about someone's mental health?

The dark skinned turtle looked around before pulling him further from the others. "In all honesty, I don't think it will last. Donnie is try'en fer my sake and I think because Slash is da pa of his kids that he wants to try 'n keep 'im in da picture but…" The look in his eyes was something he never seen. A deep emotional conflict. Raph was torn. "If it comes down to it…I will have ta hope Slash will see reason ta leave. In da long run…this aint gonna work out fer neither of 'em. Donnie's mental health is really shit lately 'n it's confus'en as fuck to."

Casey tilt his head to the side. "Confusing? Has he been using science talk on you again and you just don't understand it or…"

Raph shook his head. "Naw, aint that just…" he bit his lip unsure if he should talk about this. "I'm just confused cuz well be talk'en at night and well…he'll kiss me and…it gets heated…" he paused and looked his human friend over. "I don't think ya wanna hear this…"

He snorted and smiled at him. "Listen, I am still curious about my sexuality. I have watched two men go at it online and well…I think I maybe pansexual. I don't mind hearing what you have to say because well…you are both my friends and if you need to talk about it to someone outside your family I want to be that confidant. You're my best friend Raph, I can handle it." He gave a smile and it seemed to ease his friend's mind.

"If ya say so." He shook his head and continued. "Well when shit gets heated he will show signs of submit'en. Like we were kiss'en the other night, I laid him down and he spread his legs for me. I mean it was fuck'en hot watching him do it and I could hardly contain myself. Ya don't know how badly I was tempted ta…" he stopped and cleared his throat. "Anyway, I thought maybe he was try'en ta make it easier ta kiss 'im so I moved between and started kiss'en 'im again. It was like fire! Hot and amazing! Everything I fuck'en dreamed but better…" his cheeks were turning red.

"Then…out of no where…he churred and I swear the sounds he made…it did shit ta me…shit I never felt before…as high as I was feel'en…it came crash'en down when he moved my hand ta his…" he looked away. "He said he wanted it. That he wanted me ta…with 'im…" he could see how flustered his friend was. How utterly confused. It was cute really to see Raph acting like a school boy with his first crush. "What he said…it didn't match what his eyes were say'en…I cant quite place it or even explain it but…even if he asked…even if he wanted it…I could tell he wasn't into it. Like he didn't want it…just…maybe he thought he did…I don't know…"

He wished he could have told him something to make him feel better but…he couldn't. There was so little that he could say because just like Raph, he was a virgin and didn't have experience in handling someone as broken and traumatized as Donnie. No matter how much he wanted to help, there was so little he could do but provide and ear and offer comfort.

"Gah…" He turned to April who was holding her head. From the looks of it, another episode. Visions, Splinter called it once. Donnie said it was some neurological connection to the world especially those closest to her. He even said with training she possibly could master the use of it, but that would come in time and when they had a better understanding of how it worked.

"April?!" Kirby was bout to turn into the nearby gas station to check on her. He was told about this but this was the first he had seen of it. He was afraid for her because it looked like she was in severe pain.

Casey looked up and put his hand on the distressed father's shoulder. "Don't stop. I can tell you now that they are the Foot following us. Keep driving." He said softly, giving the shoulder a squeeze of reassurance. "I have seen this enough to know how to handle it."

Kirby though upset, decided not to stop and kept going on their path.

"April." He turned to his girlfriend and held her hand. "What do you see?"

She held her head. Visions flowing so quickly to her that she could hardly make them out. "I…I cant tell…too many…too fast…" she tried to concentrate, tried to focus on the images as she felt a sharp pain shoot through her. "I…the lair…water…" she needed to focus harder. An image of red eyes appeared, harboring a streak of purple accenting them so well. "Donnie…"

Concern in the car raised. What was going on? Was Donnie safe? Was he under attack? Was he hurt?

"Have to focus…" she smacked her hands against her head. "Come on!" she shouted in frustration at herself. She had to do this. She had to focus! "Blood…" she was trembling now. Her head hurt but she couldn't stop now. She had to push herself. Blood slowly seeped from her nose.

"April stop!" Casey grabbed her hands, lifting her head. "You said if you got a nose bleed to stop! Donnie warmed you about pushing yourself!" The fear was that it could damage her brain and/or mind. That it may cause her to kill her brain cells if they were put under too much stress.

She shook her head. "Pain…blood…Donnie…" She opened her eye, showing a brilliant light. Staring ahead, emotionless.

"What's happening?! What's going on?" Kirby asked clearly not please at whatever was going on with her. He knew this had nothing to due with the turtles and that it was something with the Kraang from what he was told but he was scared for his daughter.

Casey looked to Kirby, eyes wide. "I don't know…" he said softly, turning back to April. "This is new."

~LRDM~

The lair…she was standing in the lair. Why? How? She was just in the car with Casey and her dad when…Donnie! She looked around. He was standing still by the kitchen, hands resting on the counter for support. She sighed with relief as she walked toward him. "Oh my god Donnie I am so glad you are okay!" she smiled but soon it died as she got close. A look of pure fear played on his face as he looked down. She followed suit and gasped loudly, hand moving to her mouth. He was in labor.

A mix of water and blood pooled at his legs. Her eyes darted up as he moved to walk. "Donnie let me help you!" She ran to him but he didn't listen. "Donnie! Donnie!" She reached out to touch him but her arms fell through. Stumbling back she looked down at her hands. Ghost? No, she didn't think she died in the car. This sounded more like…like…what was it Donnie said? Astral Projection? Perhaps she was doing that?

Tears fell from her eyes as she looked at the mix of horror and pain in his eyes. She couldn't imagine giving birth alone. They had to get back! She had to tell his brothers!

~LRDM~

The teen nearly jumped from his skin when she took a deep gasp of air. God damn it did she need to be so terrifying like that? "April!" he hugged her tightly. "I was so fucking scared!" he cupped her cheek and looked her over. "What the hell was that?!"

She stared at him, panting and trying to catch her breath. "We…back…lair…" she spoke between her breaths. Tears flowing from her eyes. "Donnie…eggs…"

Casey shooshed her. Slowly petting her hair as he tried to calm her down. "Breathe. Come on calm down and breathe." He showed her how he wanted her to breathe, in through the nose and out the mouth slowly. She followed him, slowly she was able to calm down.

"Donnie is in labor! We have to get back!" she shouted.

Kirby narrowed his eyes. "There is no way…given his size and calculating the gestation period…" he thought a moment. "He is nearly two months early."

"It doesn't matter! He is giving birth and we need to get there now!" she pulled out her phone and began to text his brothers. Sending out the code they made for just this occasion as not to be intercepted. The code word came just after movie night.

She sent the text code.

Peaches

~LRDM~

Claws dug into the tree's rough bark. Knees bent on both sides of the hole he had dug resting on the soft overturned dirt, deep enough for half of his body to sick out but he was sure would fit his eggs nicely, safely. Claws dragged down as he felt another contraction shot through his body. It hurt so much! Too much!

'Breath…push…' the voice whispered, guiding him. Donnie willingly obeyed.

The worst pain he ever felt in his life as he took a deep breath and pushed. He could feel it, slowly moving down his body through his cloaca. It was a feeling he never wanted to experience nor thought he ever would. Never in his life had this scenario come to mind and it disturbed him greatly, given how he prided himself on being able to predict the various outcomes.

After a moment he had to stop, his breath coming in pants and he opened his blurry eyes. The room seemed to spin as he turned his eyes to focus on the tree. Resting his forehead against the hard bark, taking in the scent he knew all of his life. The smell of the tree his father grew since they were tots. It was a comfort to him, now more then ever as he was prepared to bring his babies into this world under the very tree he helped to take care of.

'Breath…push…'

He took a deep breath and pushed again, this time he could feel it breach the end. Slowly pushing it past his ring of muscle. 'Slow…easy…' he calmed himself, taking a quick breath as he lowered himself as far as he could go, wanting to ensure the fragile egg didn't have too far to drop. 'Push…' He pushed, following the orders of what he could only assume was his instincts. Yet, even as he pushed it felt as if the egg would go no further. As if it was stuck in place.

This had been going on for nearly an hour, or so he believed. Breathing, pushing, contractions rippling through his body like a searing wave of pure agony that had a vendetta against each and every muscle he used. Alone. He was alone to suffer even when they all had told him they would be there to help him through it. Yet, what was he to expect of them? When he needed them, truly needed them, they always seemed to fall short of their promises. Even if it was not their fault and he told them to go…

Tears flowed from his eyes as another contraction hit. He could do nothing more then cry out in agony and searing pain. They expected him to do this again? They expected him to give birth to more children when he felt such horrid pain as this? Heirs for the clan were needed, and in the eyes of their father…because he was unmarried they would be bastards.

'Big…Too big…'

This was something he feared. Tortoise eggs were huge compared to turtle. The mix of DNA would have cause such to affect the sizing of his eggs, making them larger then his body could handle. There was little he could do. He was trapped her until his eggs were born. He wasn't going to run about with an egg breaching his body. Taking a deep breath, he began to push again.

'Tear…will tear…' the voice warned.

If they didn't come out they would die. He couldn't allow it. He couldn't lay there and let his beloved eggs die. He would do anything and everything to ensure his children survived. If it meant he would tear his body in the process then so be it. His body would heal, but the loss of his egg would he would never forgive himself for. Not when he could suffer a short pain to do so. Physical pain would not last.

The egg pushed through, along with a new pain and the scent of blood. Now half way out, the radius of the egg had pushed him past what his body could handle. He could feel where his skin tore open, feeling the horrifying burning sensation as the warmth of blood trickled down his thighs. He tore an a quarter inch of his body in the process of giving birth but he couldn't stop now even as the fresh tear in his flesh burned, he couldn't stop. He had to keep going he had to endure. There was no time, no time as the egg breached the limit his body could take.

'Push…almost…push…'

Another deep breath and he pushed again. This time he felt the egg touch the soft soil, prompting him to raise his hip and left gravity do the rest. His body shook as he slowly looked back. Laying in the soft black dirt was a oval shaped egg, off white with small dark specks about it. It was…beautiful.

A wave of joy overwhelmed him as he covered his mouth with one hand. He choked on a sob of pure happiness as he looked down at the vessel for his children. His hand slowly moved from his mouth, reaching out with a shaking hand to ever so gently touch it. The egg was smooth and warm to the touch, though wet and sticky from the mucus and blood mix resting atop it. Ever so slightly, he could feel the tiny little pulse from the heartbeat. This sent a new wave of pride within him. It was not all for nothing. The suffering, the pain…it was for them…for his children. For he very reason he lived.

'More…there are more…'

He gently rubbed the egg with his thumb before pulling away. He could not hold off on the birth of the others. A few more…just a few more and he could rest. His legs were trembling badly. That one egg had taken so much from him. An egg about the size of an American football, had passed through his body and he was going to have to push another even though it had nearly taken him an hour to push that one out. His claws flexed, digging into the back of the tree. He could do this. He had to.

'Breathe…push…"

He took another breath, deeper than before as he prepared himself for the next egg that was going to pass, knowing it would injure him further but he couldn't stop. Not now, not until each egg had been born into this world. His babies…his darlings…his treasures…his now and forever…

'Push…must push…'

He pushed, feeling the egg breach his cloaca and stretch his body past the point just as the other had, he took a smaller breath and pushed…the egg was on the soil as he lifted his hips. The soft clatter of the shells rubbing against each other was heard. That one was easier…perhaps the worst was over with the first one.

'Rest…'

Donnie laid his head against the rough bark of the tree, there was little way to know just how many he was going to lay. Anywhere from one to eight was his guess but it could be more. Even so, he would do all he could, he would take all he could to protect them. Even if it cost his life, he would gladly sacrifice himself for the sake of his babies. He wondered if they were going to be girls or boys, if they would be an even mix or not. Either way, no matter what they were he would love them dearly, eternally, unconditionally.

He turned back, looking down at two oval eggs that lay with in the nest he had created. Lowering himself slowly, careful not to irritate the rip to his body any further. With his trembling hands he picked up the first one he laid. Gently, ever so tenderly, he wiped the dirt and grime from it. Careful not to harm the egg as he held it to the light. Tears formed in his eyes as pride once more swelled within his heart. Inside was a web of veins that connected to a small crescent bean. His child, his baby. Spike's seed had taken, mixing with his own and creating a new life.

Pulling it back, he held it to his chest, holding it protectively. His. They were his. No force in the world would change that and no force ever would. They were his young, his babies, his clutch. No one would harm them. No one would even get close enough to them to do it. His babies. His beloveds. His everything.

He set it down, careful not to harm it as he took the other one in his arms. Again he carefully wiped the dirt from it, allowing the lovely color to show. Beautiful, even with the adorable little spots that differed from their sibling's shell. Unique to each precious life that was housed within. Slowly he raised it to the light. Again finding the web of veins and small bean that showed there was indeed a growing turtle within.

Perhaps, he had been wrong. Perhaps the mutagen and Raph's DNA was enough to alter Spike's own to make them compatible to breed. Even so, would that mean Raph was technically the father as well? This made him frown. He was sure if that logic came to play, Raph would want to be close to them. An alpha turtle…he began to growl at the thought.

No.

No.

No.

No.

NO ONE.

He set the egg back down next to it's elder sibling.

No one was going to get close. Not their uncles. Not their grandfather. Not their father. No one. No one but him. Their mother. Their protector. The very turtle that carried them for months and wished only to keep them safe. Only Donnie could do it.

'Time…more…'

He felt his body contract again. Groaning softly as he stood up on his tired legs, the muscles screaming at him to rest longer. There was no time. He had no time. His babies needed to be born. His babies needed to be loved. He moved back into position, claws digging into the now scared tree. He was unsure how many he had left. Yet he would do what he needed to. To ensure that each baby was born. Even if he suffered through pain to do so, it would all be worth it when he watched them hatch. When he would be able to see them for the first time. Their cute little faces. Their adorably large eyes. The different patterns of their shells. He smiled through the pain and tears. He had yet to meet them…yet his heart was swelling with love.

~LRDM~

It had been a few hours. Little was resolved in that time and it was growing increasingly apparent that little would be. Both Clan heads were refusing the give the upper hand to the enemy and their Clans were growing agitated by the wait. Both sides tried to handle boredom as best they could while still seeming as though they were alert and ready to fight.

Leo was increasingly irritated. He had suspected that they would be gone only an hour or two at most but this was dragging on far longer then he would like. Something in his gut was telling him to go back home. Back to Donnie. Yet, he had to push that aside because he had to focus on Shredder. If he made one movement out of line he had to be the one to defend their father.

"I have a bad feeling." Mikey said. It was uncharacteristically serious. He was feeling off ever since they left and he couldn't shake the feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. "Something just…feels off Bros." He looked to them. Clearly they felt the same. Why was this taking so damn long?

Raph was leaning against the brick wall. His eyes narrowing as he nodded his head. "This shit is tak'en too damn long. Obviously Shred-head isn't gonna give up Karai and Splinta aint given up Donnie. We need ta stop pussy footing around and fuck'en get home." He scuffed.

"Don't like it." Slash snarled. "Fells like they are stalling." He muttered mostly to himself. He wasn't very good at plans, tactics or anything of the like. He just wanted to get back to his mate. With Donatello being home alone any number of things could happen and he didn't want to be here when he could be with him.

Suddenly their phones all went off at once. Whenever that happened it was never a good sign. They with drew their phones and looked down at the group message. Each one feeling their stomach drop the moment they read the single word text from April.

Peaches.

Donnie was in labor.

Donnie was giving birth.

A million questions ran through their minds. How did she know? Did they make it to the lair? Was Donnie doing okay?

Another text.

April: Donnie alone. In NJ.

Donnie was alone.

Donnie was alone.

Donnie was alone.

Donnie was alone.

There was no time to waste. This had to come to a close and they needed to leave Karai, much to their regrets. Leo moved to the edge of the rooftop. "Sensei! I beg my forgiveness!"

Splinter's ears perked at his son's voice. The code for urgent news drawing his attention. "You are forgiven my son." He replied. 'Tell me now.' He watched Saki's face as he tried to decipher what was being said. A tactic they were both familiar with but there was no uniform code.

Leo nodded. "Peaches."

Saki was confused by what was going on. Granted it was obviously coded speech, but the manner it was used was beyond his understanding. Needless to say whatever peaches meant had a significant impact on Yoshi. His face had shock and fear written all over it. His mouth had dropped open and he turned to Karai, still asleep in the cage. Torn between staying and going he was sure.

"I apologize. We must be off…" he began, bowing his head but keeping his eyes on him now.

Shredder narrowed his eyes. "A shame we couldn't come to an agreement. Though, it would there was some issue concerning Donatello." Oh the look on his enemy's face was priceless. He obviously was correct in assuming it was about him, after all he and the human girl and boy were the only ones missing from the group.

"You are correct. As I have said he is not well and it would seem his condition took a turn for the worst. Perhaps we may speak on this at a later date…" he tried to offer a reschedule but he doubted that he would take him up on it.

Saki smirked. "By all means." He rose with Yoshi each bowing their head slightly, eyes always locked on the other. "Foot! We are leaving." He heard the odd complaint but all he had to do was extend the blade of his gauntlets and they were silenced. "Until next time." He placed the mask back over his face, throwing down smoke bombs. When it cleared they were all gone.

Splinter sighed softly. There was little more to be done. As much as it pained him to lose his chance at regaining his Miwa, he was grateful it had not come down to bloodshed. Turning to his sons he gave them the signal to run. Not having to be told twice, each took off with him close behind them. Just like before, they branched out and took different routes home. He could only hope and pray that Donatello was okay.

~LRDM~

Mikey ran faster then he had before. Dipping, ducking, Dodging and weaving through any obstacle that presented itself before him with amazing feats of agility. He would not comment on them. Not when he knew time was of the essence. Donnie was giving birth and he was alone. He wouldn't be able to handle the hot water, to wrap the eggs in towels and place them in the incubator. He needed him there. He said so himself when Mikey had asked about what they should suspect when he gave birth.

That feeling in the pit of his stomach was valid. He knew he should have gone home, he just knew it! Nothing had happened and no one was there for Donnie! No one was there to help him. To take care of him! To reassure him that everything was going to be okay! He could only imagine how much pain his brother was in. Suffering alone as he always had. Mikey wasn't going to let that happen. Not now not ever again.

He looked to his right, spotting the slower moving emerald skinned turtle that was catching up. So Raph made his way to the main tunnel, that's fine. The more people there the better chance Donnie had to survive. A sudden fear washed over him. What if they were too late? What if something happened?! What if there was some kind of breech birth?!

Tears filled his eyes as he viciously wiped them away. NO! He couldn't believe that! Donnie was strong! Stronger then any of them and he was going to make it! He was going to survive this and so will all his eggs! Donnie loved them. He said so himself! He loved his babies. He loved his family. He loved him.

~LRDM~

He was never going to make it before the others. Raph knew this well enough. He was always the slowest of his brothers, but what he lacked in speed he made up for in strength. He Didn't care who got there first, only that they were able to help Donnie. Be it Leo or Mikey, he hoped they would get there before Splinter because he didn't want him anywhere alone with their brother. Not after what he did.

Needless to say, he looked to the side, watching as Slash struggled to keep pace. For his size restricted his movements in the tunnels, he urged Raph to not worry about him but go and help Donnie. That was the main priority. Not who made it first or who would be near him. Shit was going to hit the fan sooner then later and he was ready to take Donnie far away if he had to. With or without their brother's help, Raph wasn't going to sit by and let Donnie get hurt living under their father's roof.

No, he could only think about keeping Donnie and his babies saft. Fuck Splinter. Fuck Leo, who put a fucking collar on their brother. Fuck Mikey if he sided with them. Donnie sad so himself that he wasn't a god damn prize to be won and frankly that is what it seemed like between Splinter and Leo. That they decided he was the best choice for him without even consulting Donnie. When he spoke up he was struck for it. Fuck their father. He better never let him see him near Donnie again. He wouldn't hold back.

~LRDM~

Leo ran as fast as his legs could carry him. Running with the swiftness of the wind it's self but even so he felt he was going far too slow. He pushed himself, pushed harder then he had in his life to try and go faster. Faster. FASTER! He urged himself on, pushing past the burning in his lungs to try and keep up the pace. Donnie needed him. His fiancée needed him.

Tears filled his eyes. He had broken his promise. He swore to Donnie he would be there when he gave birth to the eggs! He was alone now and Leo had only himself to blame. He knew something was wrong, he felt it. The look on Donnie's face played in his head. The fear, the uncertainty…the longing. Donnie was afraid to be alone even if he said otherwise. He should have known better! He should have been better!

He stopped in the fork to catch his breath and double check that he wasn't being followed. There was no way in hell he was going to allow himself to be tailed and lead them to Donnie and the babies. Looking back he could see no signs that he was followed. Even so, as a precaution he would double back down another sewer lose, if he were being followed, who ever it was in what they called the labyrinth. The vast twisted maze of tunnels that had a clever and hidden path only they knew. Donnie was always the clever one. Without thinking he ran toward the tunnel that lead to the labyrinth. He had little time to waste and he was sure they would lose him there.

At the entrance he knelt down. Listening for any echoing sound. A faint fall of footsteps had his heart pounding in his chest. No doubt that they were following him now. A low growl escaped him as he stood up and took off down the tunnel. Past the waterfalls that would hide his scent, down the left tunnel where he took a deep breath. He could smell Donnie. Only path would lead them out and it was the one that they alone could smell. The scent of a female turtle, a scent they didn't know was so unique about Donnie. They had used his scent because it was the one that stood out the most because it was so different.

Another low growl escaped him as he heard his unwanted tag a longs pass through the waterfall. Snarling softly, he took off into the maze, following the scent that meant home. The scent of his brother. His lover. His Fiancée. His mate. He had to get to him. Had to be with him. He ran as fast as his legs would take him, hearing the soft sound of footsteps slowly vanish as they turned the wrong way down the maze. He allowed himself to smile. No one was going to hurt his Donatello.

~LRDM~

Mikey was first in the lair, jumping over the turnstiles and into the living room where they had left Donnie on the couch. Raph and Slash were next, stopping by his side. All three panting. Each looking about for the missing turtle. "Dee!" Mikey cried out. Taking off to the couch to look under the covers. The scent that hit his nose was overly sweet. Was that a good sign or bad? He was sure as he jumped over the couch and headed to the kitchen.

Raph looked to Slash who in turn nodded before heading up the stairs. He took off toward the lab. "Donnie!" he threw open the door, looking at the empty lab. His eyes landed on the incubator. There was no doubt that Donnie had not planned for this. Slowly he moved to it, picking it up before he made his way back out to the living room.

"He ain't up here!" Slash shouted. He just finished checking all the rooms, each empty. His heart was pounding. Where was his mate?! Where were his babies?! The thoughts of his brother played in his head. Was Donnie planning to kill them? Did he hate him and them so much that he would kill them? He shook his head. NO! Donatello was not like that! He would never kill an innocent child no matter who the father was!

"Not in da lab!" Raph replied.

A shriek came from the kitchen drawing their attention. Without hesitation they were there in but moments. Looking down beside Mikey at the puddle of what looked to be water and blood. Mikey looked up at them, hands trembling. "He…he was bleeding earlier…Nothing too bad…just trying to clean himself…" tears filled his baby blues as he watched Leo run over to them.

"Where is he?!" he asked, looking around before he noticed the puddle before them. His eyes widened. "Is this…"

Mikey nodded. "His water broke here…we checked the lab…the rooms…kitchen and living room…"

Leo walked forward, noticing the smaller spot of blood and water leading to the Dojo. He looked to the others. "Why there?" he wondered. None of them seemed to know but he looked to Raph and smiled. "Good Idea…we don't know if he gave birth to any yet." He turned back to the Dojo, taking off with the others closed behind.

The inside of the Dojo was trashed. Tatami mats thrown about, turned over or destroyed. The weapons and rack were missing. Wood from the floor laid scattered about. There was destruction everywhere they looked and each one felt the cold chill of fear run down their spines. Had the Foot been here?! Had they hurt Donnie?! Had they taken the eggs?!

They drew their weapons, Raph setting the incubator down before doing so. They were prepared for a fight. Prepared to die or defend their brother and his young. Each step they took drawing them closer to the only source of light. A small crudely made lamp, made from broken bits of wood and a heat lamp hung over a hole just under the tree. Why was that there? What was going on?

As they came closer, about fifteen feet away they heard a deep guttural growl. Each felt the warning in the pit of their being. A warning to stay back or face death. They pushed on though, moving closer before they got another deeper growl. They could not pin point where it was coming from, but they knew who it came from. It was the same warning that Donnie gave when you got too close to his belly. Was Donnie in that hole? Was he hurt? Injured?

"Guys, cover me." Leo said softly.

Raph scuffed. "Why ya fearless?" He moved forward as well. "Donnie aint just yer's on account of that collar!"

Leo rolled his eyes. "It isn't about that! It's because we don't know if the enemy is here." He narrowed his eyes. "Stay back, it's an order." He turned around, hearing Raph grumble about the fucking hierarchy bullshit. At ten feet he heard nothing but was able to see a small sliver of yellowish-white in the hole. His eyes narrowed, trying to focus on it.

Without warning a naginata was thrown from the tree and lodged itself right next to him, deep into the wood flooring. He barely had time to register what happened, turning to where it came from he was greeted with an olive colored flash before he gelt the impact of a kick knock him back to the others. Raph was there to catch him, ensuring he didn't go too far.

It was a fucking sight. The moment Leo was focused on the hole, the naginata was thrown. Donnie jumped from the tree, landing a well placed kick to Leo, all at once, kicking off of him and dislodging the naginata only to use the momentum to land back in the tree. Raph was fucking impressed as she by the speed, precision and strength. It was fucking terrifying.

"Found Donnie." Leo grumbled, using his ninjato to help him stand. Did he have to kick him so hard? He rubbed his shell and shook his head. Damn, he wasn't ready for that. "Guys…he's protecting the eggs." All eyes fell to him. "I saw them, not sure how many there are but…I know they are in the hole."

"TURTLES BURY EGGS!" Mikey shouted, smacking his hand on his head. "No wonder he came here! It is the only place close that has dirt!" he read that in the book but never through Donnie would bury his babies. He didn't think that would be a big part of the labor and Donnie never mentioned it…Donnie. His eyes looked up at their brother.

He stood tall, balancing easily on the branch with the naginata behind him at the ready. His eyes, they were so small, so filled with determination. Yet what scared him to the core was how red they looked. How…savage and feral he seemed. They were trained on the group, watching, calculating. "Hey…How far did Leo get?"

"I'd say ten feet…" Slash spoke up. Keeping a close eye on the nest. "Maybe he attacked because he is a opposing Alpha?" perhaps he was defending the nest from those who would possibly kill the young.

Raph tightened the grip on his sais. "What do ya think? Maybe Slash can get closer? He is the biological father…"

"Worth a try." Leo turned to him. As much as he didn't like it, if Donnie was defending the nest he wouldn't come to them willingly. "Let me try talking to him first." The others nodded. Maybe he could be reasoned with. Stepping forward, he stopped when he heard the growl. Ten feet. He slowly lowered his weapons, showing that he meant no harm. Another foot and Donnie moved to a defensive position. "Donnie, I know you are defending your nest. Relax please, we don't want to hurt them, nor you. Come down and we can get them in the incubator…"

A growl was his response.

"That is a no then…" He sighed softly.

Slash grew impatient. Standing up he moved toward the nest. "Don't care if you can reason with him or not, I am going to my eggs and will help my mate…" The moment he got to ten feet Donnie launched from the tree, dropping to the ground lowly, he used the naginata to knock him from his feet. Slamming the pole arm into the ground for leverage he kicked the shelled tortoise across the Dojo and into the wall. With drawing the weapon, he tried the same with Leo only to he stopped.

They were close as Leo held onto his weapon and arm. "Donnie stop! We don't want to hurt you!" Yet there was no understanding behind those eyes. It was pure instinct and adrenaline. Yet, he also caught the labored breaths and felt the tremble in his legs. With him so close, he could smell the scent of blood on him. "You're hurt!"

Before he could act, Donnie ducked down, sliding the wood staff between his legs and shifted. Leo fell on his shell and was kicked back to the others. Mikey watched as Donnie collected his ninjato's and walked backward back to the tree, ensuring that his eyes remained trained on them all.

"He ain't try'en ta hurt us." Raph was able to realize this quickly. He was keeping them at bay, ten feet from the nest and taking the weapons. "Guys…" he looked to his brothers. "I see blood on his legs…" his voice cracked.

Mikey wiped the tears from his eyes. "What do we do?!" he asked. They couldn't get close. Hell Leo was their best fighter and he was knocked back twice. Slash was the biggest and strongest and he was trying to pull himself out of the wall. "What if he bleeds out!"

"I assure you he will not." Splinter stepped forward, kneeling down and looking Leo over. "You did well not to hurt him. I will handle it." He stood up only to be stopped by a sai being thrown at his feet. Shooting a glare at his hot tempered son.

Raph stood his ground, returning the glare tenfold. "If ya so much as hurt 'im again…I assure ya it will be yer biggest regret!" he snarled.

Splinter scuffed, using his tail to retrieve the sai and toss it back. "I will not hurt him." With that he turned back, looking at his son who was staring at him with those eyes…eyes like he had seen in his nightmares…eyes that held nothing but deadly intent. He took a step back, trying to steady himself. This was not his nightmare…they were never in the lair when they fought him. This wasn't that. This was something more primal. A mother defending her children.

A low growl escaped his son. A warning that another step would be met with repercussions. Splinter made his move, darting at the nest to draw him out of the tree. Just as he thought, his son threw himself between the intruder and his eggs. Moving back he narrowly dodged the blade of the naginata as it swiped at his head. He was within five feet of the nest, able to see into it at the small eggs that were housed there. It was short lived as Donatello swiped at his legs with the pole of the weapon. Splinter dodged easily, moving to his hands and knocking the weapon from them and several feet away. This did not stop him. The determined mother ducked low, avoiding the tail. Once down, he kicked off the ground with those long powerful legs and delivered a jab that knocked him back a few feet.

The father knelt to stop his momentum, looking to his son with awe. All the lessons he had been trying to teach had sank in. He moved with such agility like Michaelangelo. He demonstrated such power like Raphael. His skill was matched for Leonardo. His eyes widened. All these years…all these years he had to come to the realization now, when his son was thinking of nothing else but to defend his young with his very life. That Donatello had been holding back because he never wanted to hurt them. He looked down at his arm where those claws had cut into him. Thick blood oozed from the wound. Now, with his eggs on the line he was willing to defend them, willing to harm them and if need be to defend his nest…kill them. Fear took hold of him. Staring in those eyes…those piercing, glowing blood colored red eyes…eyes of a feral monster, a demon. "No one goes near him or the nest!" he gave the command little room to argue.

Yet it was too late. Mikey was already making his way to the nest. The feral mother growled at the rat before turning and taking off after the other turtle. Claws brandished and ready to defend the nest of helpless eggs.

Splinter ran off, watching as his youngest defended himself against his brother. Trying not to hurt him.

"Donnie stop! It's me! It's Mikey!" He pleased, the chain in his nunchaku wrapped around one of his wrists. "I don't want to hurt you or your eggs bro! We need to get them in the incubator! You said it was important!" Yet Donnie didn't stop. He growled and used his other hand to try and swipe at his face. Trying to claw his eyes out by the look of it but Mikey turned his head in time to only fell the sting against his cheek. Twin marks lay across his freckles, bleeding as he looked back intime to see his brother kick him back to the wall.

"Enough!" Splinter growled, refusing to hold back now. He ran at his feral son, dodging the swipe to his face by ducking down and throwing a kick to his abdomen. The cry that echoes in the Dojo was one of sheer physical pain. He watched as Donatello held his belly, blood now flowing in thicker strands down his legs as they trembled.

He took a few staggering steps backward before he turned himself around. Falling to his knees, he carefully climbed into the hole, sliding down the side and stopping shy of the eggs. He tried to stand, crying out when he couldn't and falling to the side. Eyes filled with tears as he looked at his babies. Slowly he reached out, grabbing the nearest one and pulled it to him. He curled into fetal position around it, his arms holding it close as the darkness slowly consumed him. In his feral mind, he knew the others maybe lost but perhaps just one would live.

Raph trembled with visible anger. He hadn't held back! Splinter hadn't held back and he knew Donnie just gave birth! He just fucking had his kids and he was just defending them! Like a real parent! Why did he have to hit him in the stomach?! What the fuck was Splinter's problem?! He gripped the sais, ready to attack their father when he saw Donnie in the nest.

He fell to his knees. Tears pouring down his cheeks at the sight of his brother in the nest. There were four eggs, four beautiful eggs that were perfect in every way. Yet, what broke him was that Donnie was using his own body to protect one of them. He wiped his tears and moved into the nest with Leo. "Slash, the incubator…" he called as he helped the eldest moved the unconscious body from the egg.

"I can't lift him…" Leo admitted, looking to him with pleading eyes. "Be careful…Mikey is on the phone with Leatherhead." Leo bent over and took the egg gently in his hands. It was smooth and warm and…big. Something that size came from Donnie?! Taking a small breath he could smell the sweet scent of Donnie on them, mixed with a new scent, one he never smelled before. The scent of eggs.

Slash lowered the incubator, looking to Raph as he stepped out of the hole and laid Donnie down on the tatami mats. His yellow eyes looked away from his mate to his eggs. Four beautiful babies! Four! He was a father! He reached out his hand, motioning to Leo to give it to him. "Please…" he smiled. The eldest of the brothers sighed and gave up the egg to it's father. Once in his hands, he nuzzled it with his beak. Cooing softly, happily. His heart filled with sheer happiness! "My baby…" he cooed. "My sweet baby…"

"You have to put it in the incubator." Mikey reminded him. Taking one of the eggs in his hand and moved to the machine his brother built. He placed it in the slot and watched the section light up, below it a heart monitor. The straight line began to show life, much to their relief. "Donnie said they have to stay in until they hatch." He reached for the next one and put it in the slot beside it. Once again it lit up and showed signs of life. He watched with approval as Slash did the same. The slot lit up with a warm light before the heart monitor showed the heartbeat.

Leo was holding the last one. The look on his face showing worry and confusion. The egg was colder then the others. Even with the heat lap that Donnie made…shouldn't it have been warmer? He shook his head. No, it was nothing. He turned to the incubator, setting the egg down in it. The light flashed on for a moment before they saw the light turn red, different from the others. A small beeping could be heard every two seconds, accompanying the message that brought tears to every eye there.

It couldn't be true! Slash pulled the egg out. "It is busted!" he growled. Placing the egg in a different slot. Once again the same result, the same beeping and the same message. He growled again and tried the next slot. The result was the same no matter which one he tried. He took out one of the others, pausing a moment when he felt the temperature difference before he placed it in. The same result. The same error. He felt a tightness in his chest. Tears flowing from his eyes as he watched the message continue to flash. Hoping praying to any god that would listen that it just wasn't so.

Raph placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. "I'm sorry…I'm so so sorry." Tears poured from his eyes as he hugged him tightly. There was no words to comfort him. No words to express the pain that he was feeling. That was his kid…his baby!

Each slowly looking to Donnie. Each trying to figure out a way to tell him. Each bowing their head in sorrow. He didn't know. He fought so hard to defend them and he didn't know.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

No Heartbeat. No Heartbeat. No Heartbeat.


End file.
